Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hard Truth

1 Nephi 16

This chapter starts off with Nephi’s brothers complaining that Nephi had spoken hard things to them. In part of his reply, Nephi stated:

“…the righteous have I justified…the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.”

I have experienced this many times. When people speak truth to me about my actions or thoughts, I feel horrible. Their words cut me “to the very center.” Unfortunately, I am a lot more prideful that I will usually admit. When something cuts me to the very center, I often reject the counsel, statement, or advice as false and/or preachy or just the person being unkind. I have often given this attitude the false face of being hard to be offended. I told myself that I don’t get offended easily, because when people say things that cut me, I just brush it off.

Perhaps there is some kind of balance. I don’t need to be offended when I hear hard truth, but I should probably think more on it. I should ponder the meaning of the truth that I have heard, and look inside myself for things to change, and ways to grow.

After yesterday’s post about receiving inspiration from the same source as the Apostles, I have been pondering ways to hear the still small voice more clearly. Hearing that voice more clearly is one of my greatest goals. I think humility is one of the things I need the most. Pride has always been a big hurdle for me. I always feel like I am making progress, only to realize that I haven’t come nearly as far as I thought. Which I guess is part of pride.

During our pillow talk last night, I mentioned to my husband that I think the Spirit speaks to me most often as images. I see images in my mind of what the Spirit wants to tell me. I don’t hear a voice nearly as often as I see an image. A vision, I imagine. They aren’t frequent, and the are rarely clear. And unfortunately, I rarely give them a second thought. Only after the fact do I realize their source.

My goal this year will be to hear the holy Spirit more clearly. Or I guess in my case, to see it more clearly. I think this means also realizing more clearly whether the image I see is from the Spirit, or just me thinking. Although, I believe that they are often the same thing, if we are living closely enough to the Spirit, our thoughts are more often than not inspired.

I will follow the promptings I receive, I will write down when I receive a prompting so that I can remember what it was like. And perhaps I will be able to fine tune my reception to have clearer communication with the Lord.

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