Cut to the Very Center

Today in fast and testimony meeting I was thinking about my parenting in the past several weeks. I have been in lecture mode, and I was reflecting on ways I could teach my children (specifically my teenagers) without lectures. It is one of my life goals to raise my children, especially my teens, to be self-reflective, self-motivated, and hard working. I try to lead by example, but sometime I am afraid that my lectures are obscuring my example, and they become discouraged or disinterested in growth.

Then I was thinking about how as parents we spend a lot of time helping our children with course correction, and how they may not always appreciate that at this time in their lives. I know that I probably didn't appreciate the helpful criticism of my parents when I was a teen.

But now that I am in the position of parent I actually crave helpful criticism. It would be so helpful to have people in my life speak out and point out those areas in which I can improve. In the first book of Nephi chapter 16, Nephi admits that he has been lecturing his siblings, and that "the guilty take the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center." Every day I feel the need to be cut to my very center. I am not a finished product - far from it - and I need all the cutting down I can get.

I am in a stage of life where the people who speak truth to me are typically speaking truth in general terms and to a large group of people, and not specifically directed at me. It is up to me to reflect on my own life and personality and allow words of truth to cut me "to the very center". This takes a lot of humility, and an enormous ability to rely on and hear the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Both are areas of life that I struggle with and work on every day.

Perhaps as I work to teach my children about self reflection, self motivation, and hard work, I can use examples from my own life, and allow them to consider if the truth is cutting them to the very center, causing them the discomfort of growth. Then we can learn together, and I can focus on my own personal growth more than lecturing my teenagers.

What do you use as a source of truth to help refine you and cut you to the very center? If you have teens (or if you were a teen) what strategies helped you teach (or learn) self-reflection, self-motivation and hard work?

Answers Come

In my last post I talked about not really knowing how to prioritize all that there is to do. 

I still don’t know all the answers, but this quote from President Oaks showed up on my news feed the other day and I felt as if it was an answer to my prayers. 

I have been trying to pray for that inspiration to know what things MUST be done, according to eternal principle. I am finding this inspiration harder to receive than I thought, but I did feel like I could at least name a few:

1.) scripture study (both individual and with my family)

2.) prayer (both individual and with my family)

Beyond this I haven’t been able to come up with much else that is required by eternal principles. When I try to add to my list I end up going down a rabbit hole of “Well, if that is important, than so is this.” And I start getting in debates with myself, “What makes this more important than the other thing? Could I choose between doing these two things?” Because that thought process gets so mangled and complicated I feel that it is safe to assume that anything beyond those first two priorities falls in the “pray for wisdom to exercise our preferences” category. 

I am still working on actually following these priorities. Having a clean house is incredibly important to me. But I wonder if it would become less important if I was studying the scriptures and praying more regularly on my own and with my children...? Teaching my children to work is important to me, but should it be more important than teaching them to study the scriptures and pray? I don’t think so. 

And so I continue working on prioritizing my time and I spend a lot of time in prayer and counsel with Heavenly Father, beggin Him for the inspiration I so desperately need!

How do you decide what is most important in your life? How do you discern what is required by eternal principles? How do you use wisdom to exercise your preferences for all the other things?

Of Distraction, Death, and Driving

The title of this post might sound like a PSA about distracted driving. A worthy topic, however, this post is about things of more eternal significance.

Today I was driving home from Arkansas, my childhood home state, where I attended the funeral of my beloved Aunt Shirley. This post isn't really about her, although her life would also be a worthy topic. This post is about more about how when people die we tend to remember better. Driving a long distance (5 hours) gives you a lot of time to contemplate life and the important parts of it. Especially after a funeral, and especially when you listen to General Conference talks the entire trip.

These three things together, the funeral for my aunt, the long drive, and listening to the general conference talks, allowed me to refocus and refine my life. It was a transformative five hours. Hence this essay.

My Aunt is an amazing woman. She left a wonderful legacy here on earth, and is joining an equally fantastic legacy among our ancestors in Heaven. What struck me this weekend is how easy it is to become distracted. I haven't thought a lot about my Aunt's life recently. Honestly, until she traveled to Houston to have heart surgery I hadn't really even though much about her. Not that I don't care, but I have been caught up in raising my own family, tending to my own life. Granted, many of my actions and choices are affected by the influence of my Aunt and her children, even if I am not consciously thinking about the cause and effect relationship that exists between my Aunt and my actions and choices.

As I sat with family and friends this weekend to celebrate the amazing miracle that my Aunt has been, I was reminded of so many gospel principles. The greatest principle I was reminded of was faith. My Aunt was a woman of fierce faith. When she endured radiation for Hodgkin's disease in the 70's, doctors told her that she would not be able to bear children. She said, "We'll see" and proceeded to fast and pray and fast and pray, and eventually had four amazing children who today are my heroes in every way.

My Aunt has endured several health challenges, in spite of her impeccably healthy lifestyle. She had breast cancer, diabetes, defective heart valves (all of these were most likely complications from the massive amounts of radiation she endured in the 70s). But through all of these health challenges she has maintained a patient, faithful, joyful outlook on life, and lived a life of selfless service to her children, nieces and nephews, and anyone else who cross her path. She did not make excuses, and she had good reason to make excuses.

I was humbled this weekend with a self-realization of the excuse making in which I engage. I make a lot of excuses for why this that or the other thing is hard for me to do. A lot of "if onlys"...

I always have some kind of excuse for why I don't do more than I am doing. I have an excuse for why I don't study the gospel like I did before. I make excuses for why I don't attend the temple as regularly, I have excuses for why I don't have patience with my husband and my children. Some of them are pretty good excuses.

But what I realized after this weekend is that none of them are valid excuses. There are no valid excuses.

The Savior of the world suffered body, mind, and soul so that there would have to be no excuses. Because of Him and through Him I can be more than I am, and I can do more than I can. Not because I will be amazing or I will work hard, but because through faith in Jesus Christ I can do all things.

I have been distracted from faith these past several years. Maybe the last decade. It is so easy to become distracted from the things that really matter. Faith, endurance, charity, compassion. There are so many things in life that we think are important, and then when someone dies, we have the opportunity to contemplate our lives and our choices and we realize that all of the other things do not matter and what really matters was so simple, and we tried to make it so complicated in the name of philosophy, or deep thinking, or intellectual conversation.

What really matters really is very simple. Christ taught us that. It is in the scriptures. Let's go back to the scriptures and soak up the simple brilliance of the gospel and please let us let go of all the complicated processes that distract us from what really matters.

What things have distracted you from the simple parts of the gospel? What events or things in your life help bring you back to remembrance? How do you remember things without having to go to a funeral?

GCBC Week 19: The Vision of Prophets Regarding Relief Society

I know I wasn’t the only one who knew in the back of my mind that the Relief Society presidency was going to be reorganized at April General Conference. I’m positive I was the only one who had to choke back tears when I lifted my hand to thank Sister Julie B. Beck for her service as General Relief Society President. Sister Beck was called to the General Young Women’s presidency shortly before I graduated high school, and I remember feeling a kind of connection with her when she spoke. I am sure that Sister Beck’s calling to the Relief Society presidency was divinely inspired, and that God’s timing was perfect.

So when I heard that Sister Beck was going to be speaking anyway in General Conference I almost cheered. One more talk from this elect lady! I was ecstatic.

And then I readied my pen and my ear. Whatever she had to say I was sure would be profound. And I had long begun my journey to find out what it really meant to be a woman – a journey I felt guided on by Sister Beck herself.

I am thrilled to discuss this talk with you! So, ladies (and gentlemen, if there are any lurking out there), let’s get to it.

The Vision of Prophet Regarding Relief Society – by Sister Julie B. Beck

I appreciated Sister Beck’s comment that “Just as the Lord’s prophets have continually taught elders and high priests their purposes and duties, they have shared their vision for the sisters of the Relief Society.” Too often we whine and complain about how little the prophets give the sisters direction – that usually they just pat us on the head and tell us we’re amazing. I agree with Sister Beck – there is a lot more direction and instruction that we realize, and I think we’d be better off actually searching for that direction rather than whining about how little exists.

Not to mention that whenever our leaders discuss fulfilling priesthood responsibilities, they are talking to sisters as well. Not being ordained to the priesthood does not exempt us from our priesthood responsibilities. The Relief Society was organized after the pattern of the priesthood. Sister Beck has taught us that the Relief Society is our equivalent of a priesthood quorum, and we should treat it as such.

The amount of teachings about Relief Society and our purpose and responsibilities as women has surprised me as I have sought out those teachings from prophets and leaders. I am anxious to learn more about Relief Society and really understand what it is, and what I should be doing as a member of Relief Society.

Sister Beck reminded us that, “Relief Society is not a program.” And it isn’t. It’s a priesthood organization to which women belong, and we have sacred responsibilities as members of that organization.

What stood out to you in Sister Beck’s talk?

Equality and the War on Gender

I went through a few different titles for this post, thinking about what I was going to write: Women and the Priesthood, Women and Equality, Culture vs Doctrine, Feminist or Disciple of Christ? I hope this title describes the post accurately.

My mind has been really full lately. This post, I think, is really just me trying to sort out all those thoughts.

I am not sure what piqued my interest in the Mormon feminist movement, but I am pretty sure it had something to do with all the talk about Joanna Brooks’ book and Ralph Hancock’s responses and critiques of the book. It may have been a post I read on Segullah about the “war on womanhood”. Regardless, a few months ago I started doing a lot of thinking about equality, gender, and the doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I also started thinking about the way women (and men) in the Church seem to misunderstand the fundamental doctrines of Jesus Christ.

Manhood/Womanhood vs Discipleship

A commenter on the Segullah post said, “I don’t think in terms of womanhood and manhood. We are all children of God with eternal potential. There is nothing uniquely female about the godly characteristics I am asked to develop.” I agree with this in a major way. In the Church’s handbook for parents there is a section that talks about teaching children to accept and understand their gender roles. If you are unfamiliar with the A Parent’s Guide, I will point out that it was published in 1985 and has not been revised since. When I read this section yesterday I was fully expecting to read about how the Church encourages stereotypical gender roles, such as cooking and cleaning for women, and college and job skills for men. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Church has been teaching equality of the genders at least since the mid-80s, but obviously the doctrine of Jesus Christ has been around for longer than that, and as “all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33), this doctrine of equality has been part of the gospel since before any women’s movements.

A quote from the book that supports the commenter at Segullah says, “There are many patterns of behavior that are appropriate for all people. Everyone, male and female, is invited to examine the character of Jesus Christ and emulate him … Among the traits Christ revealed as proper for men and women alike are faith, hope, charity, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, kindness, godliness, humility, diligence, and love. These virtues transcend gender. They are Christlike attributes to which both sexes should aspire … Spiritual gifts, as described in Doctrine and Covenants 46, are not restricted to one gender either. Included are gifts of knowledge, belief, administration, organization, healing, and discernment.” There is more of the same through the section, including statements such as, “You should provide opportunities for your children to develop talents in various directions unhindered by improper stereotypes … Teach your daughters and your sons to seek opportunities to learn and to exploit every such opportunity fully … Boys must learn basic domestic skills, and girls must be able to earn a living if necessary.”

Gender as an Eternal Characteristic

However, the same guide says, “members of the Church must not be deceived about one immutable truth: there is eternal significance in being a man or a woman.” And recall that in The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” So, if gender is so important, but each gender is equally expected (by Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father) to develop all of the characteristics of Christ (many of which, ironically, are “naturally” attribute to women) and any of the spiritual gifts available to God’s children, then what is the difference between the genders?

The same commenter at Segullah pointed out this problem we often encounter in trying to learn and teach about the significance of gender, “Our efforts to teach women of their spiritual equality often overreach into expressions of otherness, specialness, or even betterness [than men]. If we truly believed we were equal in God’s eyes we wouldn’t need to find ways to feel set apart or special.”

So, how do you teach the importance of gender and identity while staying away from expressions of “otherness” and “betterness”?

When Equality Gets in the Way

Equality is a hard principle. What does it really mean? Does equality mean that we should all be the same? Does it mean that everyone should have the exact some opportunities in this life? Does it mean that we should all be treated the exact same? Children should be treated like adults, young adults should be treated like mature adults, the elderly should be treated like young adults?

What does equality really mean? What do we really want when we say we want “equality for women”?

Men today are pressured to be worldly. They are pressured to neglect their families for their jobs, often using their families as an excuse for how much they work. They are pressured to provide the luxuries of the world for their families.

Image Credit: Alex E. Proimos

Families are used by the world as an excuse for men to focus on their jobs and careers, rather than focus on their family. It seems like the opinion of women is, “Why do we only pressure men to be worldly? I want pressure to be worldly, too!” That’s not what they say, but think about it – as women we are not fighting for men to come home, man up, and protect and lead their families. Instead we are fighting for women to be pressured to do more outside the home. We want equality, but we want it in the wrong direction. We are sick of the stereotype of women being housewives and staying at home and doing the laundry while our husbands are out smoking cigars and going to bars with their coworkers and bosses. Should we instead be sick of the stereotype of men being workaholics, spending more time pursuing their careers than spending time with their families?

Is our fight for equality perhaps pushing all of us in the wrong direction?

Manhood/Womanhood and Discipleship

Although there are cultural stereotypes for gender roles which, as members of Christ’s Church we should not espouse, gender is still a significant part of our creation.

In the world today I think that some would like to remove all distinction between the genders. In fact, we are moving at an alarming rate toward a society where you can choose your gender. You can choose to marry someone of the same gender, as if there isn’t a reason why we were created male and female. It was just chance, or it was a mistake nature or God made. If you don’t like it, don’t be that gender, don’t follow the “gender roles” of that gender (and I don’t mean the stereotypical ones here, I mean the we-need-a-man’s-reproductive-organs-and-a-woman’s-reproductive-organs-to-make-babies roles).

Why would we be created the way we are if there wasn’t a reason for it? There is a reason for it. Gender is essential to our identity as children of God. I am just still learning exactly what that means.

From the proclamation again, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

What does this really mean, though? I do not think it means what a lot of people think it means. I do not think it means that men or women are necessarily more naturally inclined to perform their divinely appointed roles. I take this as more of a commandment. Rather than God saying, “Women, you are more naturally predisposed to nurturing, so you guys nurture. Men, you are more predisposed to protecting your families and earning a living, so you guys do that.” I think what God is saying is more like, “Regardless of what your ‘natural’ tendencies are, I want you, women, to nurture children. Men, I want you to provide a safe environment for women to do that, and make sure women and children are clothed and fed and sheltered, and help her out in the nurturing.”

My husband and I have talked at length about this. As far as providing for a family goes, I could make probably two or three times my husband’s income. But my husband has been commanded to provide for his family, and we feel that it is really important for him to do that. Staying home with kids and being nurturing is hard for me, even though I know a lot about raising kids (from a research stand point – not from experience). I can deal with workplace stress a lot easier than I can deal with children-induced stress. But we feel that it is really important that I learn how to nurture our children, even though I would rather provide for our family than nurture our family, and my husband would rather have it be that way, too.

I am aware that there are individual circumstances, but as with every other area in the gospel where there is an “ideal” we should not be looking for reasons to not live the ideal. Nor should we judge others who are not living the ideal for whatever reason.

Questions Without Answers

I’ve been asking a lot of questions in the past few months, and I don’t have all the answers yet – and I was hoping that I would have more answers as I wrote this post, but they seem to elude me. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings, and especially quotes from talks or scripture passages that help you answer these questions. Maybe I can find some more answers, too.

Anger Can Lead to Sin

Recently my husband and I have been discussing anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. That is, anger is not an emotion we usually feel just because we are "angry". Think about the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? Did someone do something that hurt you? Were you embarrassed? Were you afraid of something?

Think of a father who is angry with his son or daughter for breaking curfew. There are a few "primary" emotions he might be feeling. One is fear - he is afraid of what might happen to his child if he or she stays out past curfew.
Another is hurt - he may be hurt that his child disobeyed the house rules. This hurt can be a prideful hurt ("I'm the dad, I make the rules and you are going to follow them!") or it can be a humble hurt ("I know the spiritual consequences of disobedience and I thought she knew them, too.")




In 2 Nephi 5:2, Nephi explains that the anger his brothers felt "did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life."

We have to be careful how we deal with our emotions. Anger is almost never the right method of dealing with our emotions. Laman and Lemuel were likely hurt because their brother was more righteous than they were and therefore had more authority than they did. But rather than dealing with their hurt feelings (which were actually caused by pride, rather than by genuine concern for Nephi) constructively, they allowed anger to grow in their hearts until they wanted to kill Nephi.

Now, I am not saying that letting yourself get angry is going to lead you to commit murder, but how many times have you let your anger with your children lead you to yelling or spanking or "unrighteous dominion"? (I only ask because I am very guilty of this)

Also, how often do you see a child get angry and hit or bite or yell or push, etc? I am not saying these children are sinning, because children are innocent until the age of accountability, however, chances are that child is not really angry. The child is most likely hurt, or confused, or hungry, or tired, or afraid. Little children don't always understand how to deal with those emotions; and so they become "angry". It is our job as their parents to teach them how to deal with hard emotions.

And we all know the best teaching tool is our own example.

How do you effectively deal with your primary emotions? Has anger ever led you to sin? What primary emotion most often leads to anger for you?

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Teaching and Agency

I mentioned yesterday in my Sunday Study Link Up that I was going to start studying the Teaching, No Greater Call manual (hereafter referred to as TNGC). Since the best place to start is the beginning I just read the first chapter. The first part of the manual is Part A: The Importance of Gospel Teaching in God’s Plan.

The first statement that really stood out to me in the manual was this “To be able to fully exercise our agency in righteousness, we must learn of the Savior and the doctrines of His gospel.” (p. 3). I read an absolutely fabulous post over on Faithful Freja about the fall of Adam and Eve and agency. Freja pointed out some important principles of agency:

1.) You must have a choice.
2.) You must know the alternatives.
3.) You must have an indication of divine will.
4.) You must have absolute freedom to choose.

In order to fully exercise agency it is not enough to simply have a choice. We have to know what the Savior wants us to do (have an indication of divine will). We cannot fully exercise our agency if we do not understand the principles of the gospel and the plan of salvation. It’s like the oft-quoted scene from Alice in Wonderland when Alice asked the Cheshire cat which direction she should go, and the cat replies, “That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.” There has to be some kind of understanding of what the right choice is, otherwise we’re not really making a choice – we’re just… doing whatever. (which seems like a kind of lame way to live)

As I read this chapter in TNGC, I was reminded of the purpose of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you were asked what you think the purpose of the Church is, what would you say?

Here’s what the Church’s official purpose is:

To “provide the organization and means for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of God’s children. It provides the priesthood authority to administer the ordinances of salvation and exaltation to all who are worthy and willing to accept them.”

So the purpose of the Church is to teach the gospel. And then of course to administer the ordinances necessarily for exaltation. The Church exists so that the children of God can be taught. In TNGC the question is asked, “Can you imagine a duty more noble or sacred?” (p. 4)

This leads us to the question, “Who is a teacher?”

There were some scripture references given in TNGC that I would love to study but I don’t have time this evening. They basically teach us that Christ’s followers are expected to teach the gospel to their family, to other members of the Church, and to those who haven’t yet received the gospel. Remember that saying “Every member a missionary?” What is a missionary, really? Every member is a teacher – I would say first and foremost, a teacher. “The responsibility to teach the gospel is not limited to those who have formal callings as teachers.” If you think about how every person has their own perspective of the world and life, and no two experiences are the same, and we need to learn everything it makes sense that we are all teachers, but we all need to learn from each other.

We are called upon, as teachers, to “increase [our] understanding and improve [our] skill” as teachers. The Lord has taught us, “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men.” As teachers, we must increase our understanding and our skill – and I believe we do that by following the Lord’s admonition. The most important principle in which we need to increase our understanding is that of the plan of salvation. That is the purpose of this life – to understand and follow the plan of salvation – but we cannot follow something that we do not understand.

As we seek first to obtain an understanding of the plan of salvation we will be blessed to be more effective teachers – whatever our circumstances may be.

How do you “increase your understanding and improve your skill” as you teach? In what ways are you a teacher?

True Science. True Religion.

I was reading over at Fred’s Spiritual Corner the other day about science and religion, and it got me thinking…

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I studied mathematics and physics at the university level. I obtained a bachelor’s degree in mathematics, and a minor in physics. I love math. I love physics. I am a lover of science, and a lover of religion.

I am not all that unusual. There are lots of Mormons (Latter-day Saints) who love science. In fact, President Ezra Taft Benson once said, “Religion and science have sometimes appeared in conflict. Yet, the conflict can only be apparent, not real, for science seeks truth, and true religion is truth. There can never be conflict between revealed religion and true science. Truth is truth, whether labeled science or religion. All truth is consistent.”

In 1973, President N. Eldon Tanner wrote, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has always taught that the glory of God is intelligence and that a man can be saved no faster than he gains knowledge.” Not only are many members of the Church well educated and lovers of science, but the gospel even teaches us to be lovers of science.

(image credit: euthman)

President Tanner went on to say, “Scientists who acknowledge God as a personal God and who accept the scriptures as the word of God may enjoy all scientific principles and scholastic training and progress as rapidly and as far as any other scientist.” We do not need to disregard religion in order to understand science. Nor is it necessary to separate the two.

The Lord has taught us that we should teach each other and learn “words of wisdom” out of the best books (not necessarily just scripture) by study – but also by faith.

It’s important that we don’t disregard our faith while we are studying. The most influential principle in my course of study in physics and mathematics has been learning that “by the power of the Holy Ghost [I can] know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:5; emphasis added) Notice the quantifier used here – all. The lack of any other descriptive term in this promise gives us a clue that Moroni doesn’t mean “all spiritual things” or “all things pertaining to the gospel of Jesus Christ”, but truly that by the power of the Holy Ghost we can know the truth of all things – even “secular” things. I have also come to realize that what President Benson said is true  - that “truth is truth, whether labeled science or religion.” There can be no truth that is not religious, because all truth leads us to our Father in Heaven.

We also need to be careful that we do not neglect to prioritize our study of the gospel. Surely we are encouraged to gain a knowledge of the way things work in this world, but these will do us no good if we don’t have a deep understanding of the most important things – things like our relationship with God and Jesus Christ, and our responsibilities in the plan of salvation.

President Tanner concluded his article with this statement, “Anyone who, with an open mind and a prayerful heart, will give as much attention to the teachings of Jesus Christ as to scientific and academic studies will keep his faith.” And, I would add, their understanding of those scientific and academic things will be multiplied.

There has been a lot of debate in the public eye recently about religion and it is very interesting to see how those who are not religious accuse those who are religious of being close minded. But how are those who ridicule religion not being close minded themselves? President Tanner said of these people, “They say one should keep an open mind and learn all the truth one can, yet they close their minds when it comes to the subject of religion.” It is also interesting that those experts in fields of science should feel bold enough to comment on religion, when if a religious expert comments on science they are ridiculed and mocked. Just because I lack an understanding of the principles of chemistry or biology does not mean those principles are not true. Similarly, a lack of understanding of religion does not make religion false or any more preposterous than the principles of evolution.

(image credit: NASA Goddard Photo and Video)

It is interesting to observe how the “truths” of science have changed over time. As we discover “new” truths in science they frequently over turn other “truths” we thought we knew for sure. The whole method of science is that you can never prove something isn’t you can only prove that it is – or, in the absence of a convincing conclusion, you can say there isn’t enough evidence to prove that it is – but just because you can’t prove it is true doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Why would we not extend this method of thinking to religion? And yet people devote a lot of their time and energy to proving that God does not exist, or that one religion or another is not true when in fact, we should be simply dedicating our energies to finding out what is true.

The same scientific method that is used to prove countless scientific principles can be used with religion. The only difference is that the “measurement” can only be found in your own heart and soul. Only you can measure the results from your experiment (although the “fruits” of your experiments may be seen by others – Matt 7:20) President Harold B. Lee quoted Dr. Henry Eyring who said, “I have often met this question: ‘Dr. Eyring, as a scientist, how can you accept revealed religion?’ The answer is simple. The Gospel commits us only to the truth. The same pragmatic tests that apply in science apply to religion. Try it. Does it work?”

I testify that I have tried it. I have tried the gospel. I know that it works. I have also studied science. I know that many of the principles science has discovered are true. I believe that understanding the principles of science can bring us closer to God. I know that we can believe in true science and true religion – and indeed, that is our purpose as Latter-day Saints – to come to understand all truth.

How do you view science and religion? How did you decide that God is real? Did you experiment, just as you would have experimented on an scientific principle?

For more reading on knowledge, science, and religion, see these books/articles:

Find the Answers in the Scriptures – President Harold B. Lee, Dec 1972 First Presidency Message
Right Answers – President N. Eldon Tanner, Oct 1973 First Presidency Message
Your Charge: To Increase in Wisdom and Favor with God and Man – President Ezra Taft Benson, Sept 1979 New Era
Chapter 27: Learning by Study and by Faith – Brigham Young; Teachings of the Presidents of the Church 1997

The Fulness of his Intent

Post have been few and far between this week. I have been catching up in a lot of areas of my life and now I am getting back into posting. At least a little. I still need to do GCBC this week!

I have been reading the Book of Mormon every day, but not my one and a half pages, so I will probably spend some quality time in its pages this weekend.

Have I told you how much I absolutely love the Book of Mormon?

Here's part of why:


I have been learning that every page of this book has a purpose - and that purpose is to draw people to Christ and the Father and to salvation.

Faith in Christ. Repent. Be baptized. Receive the Holy Ghost. Endure to the end.

There is a reason we call them the "first principles and ordinances of the gospel". They are the ones that are plastered on every page of the Book of Mormon.

How are you doing with your Book of Mormon reading? Are you trying to finish by a certain time? What is your favorite message from the Book of Mormon?

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I Have not Required it, But the Lord

When Lehi told Nephi and his brothers to go and get the brass plates from Jerusalem, he said





(1 Nephi 3:5)

Lehi told Nephi that it wasn't a commandment from him (Lehi), but rather a commandment from God.

This prompted me to ask the question, "How can I make sure that my children understand that the commandments are from God rather from us as their parents?"

I imagine that principle can easily be missed by children and their parents when parents seek to limit their children's agency, rather than teaching them the gospel.

I am reminded of my favorite scripture to read to my kids - Mosiah 4:14-15

"And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit... He being an enemy to all righteousness.
But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another."



(my 4 year old almost has that scripture memorized... I really like reading it to them...)

Maybe this scripture holds some of the answer to that question.

How do you teach your children that the laws of God are truly God's laws, and not "mom and dad's" laws? How do you help them understand that what you are teaching them is not what you require of them, but rather, what God requires of them?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Personal Witness

Book of  Mormon Papers - a series of posts
containing papers I wrote for a
BYU Religion class my freshman year of college.

(Note: this paper reminds me of the admonition to never take anything the Prophets say at face value – we should always approach Heavenly Father with what we have heard, and ask “diligently” to know “by the power of the Holy Ghost” if the things we have heard are true.  A personal testimony is always better than just hearing it from someone else. It reminds me of the Reading Rainbow series where LeVar says, “But you don’t have to take my word for it.”)

After hearing of Lehi’s visions and prophecies, Nephi discussed his desire to know for himself of the things that to Lehi were revealed. Lehi told of his vision of the tree of life and later went on to prophesy of the coming of Christ. Why was it so important for Nephi to gain such a personal testimony of the words of his father, and why is there no record of his brothers showing similar faith? Instruction has been given that “by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:5) However, it is given on one condition – “if ye shall ask with real intent, having faith in Christ.” (Moroni 10:4) This is real intent and faith that Laman and Lemuel lacked.

Lehi’s prophecies contained many things that may have seemed foolish to some of his less faithful family members. The prophesy that a Messiah or Savior would come to save the world from sin was difficult to understand. Oftentimes, the words of prophesy are not easy to understand and must be accompanied by a mind that “diligently seeketh” (1 Nephi 10:19).

In asking the Lord for a personal testimony of Lehi’s visions and prophecies, Nephi also developed greater faith in the power of the Holy Ghost and in the sameness of God. Nephi states that when he asked he knew that God would answer him because God had answered those “in times of old” (1 Nephi 10:17) and Nephi knew that God would answer all those after him.

In addition to gaining his own testimony, Nephi’s testimony was part of a “special purpose” (1 Nephi 9:3) that the Book of Mormon became in containing “more than one witness” (Alma 10:12) which has more power than the testimony of one. Nephi would add his personal testimony and revelation to the witnesses of several other prophets who had also testified of the coming of Christ – “how great a number had testified of these things, concerning this Messiah.” (1 Nephi 11:5)

Laman and Lemuel, as proven in previous experiences, lacked the faith – or even the desire – to gain a personal testimony of any of their father’s or brother’s teachings. They would not manifest even a desire to understand the prophecies of their father until shortly thereafter, after which Nephi chastises them for failing to “look unto the Lord as they ought.” (1 Nephi 14:3).

Nephi’s inquiry of the Lord not only blessed him in his own spirituality, but also blessed all future generations who would read the multiple witnesses of Christ given in the Book of Mormon. Moreover, Nephi’s testimony of the power of the Holy Ghost is assuring. Nephi testifies that all who are desirous to know can receive that knowledge through the awesome power of the Holy Ghost which is “the gift of God.”

Why do you think it was so important for Nephi to gain his own witness of the visions his father, the prophet, had seen and heard? Is it just as important for us to receive a personal witness of the words of the prophets? How do you gain that witness? Do you seek diligently, and look unto the Lord for that witness?

Love Her Mother

(find the talk here)

I have no idea why I felt inspired to write about this now,  but I think it has something to do with my husband learning how to love me, and our relationship growing and becoming stronger in the past few months.

Early last year, my husband and I got to a place in our marriage that could have been a breaking point. Thankfully, my husband picked up all the broken pieces and really did his best to fix everything. My husband is not your average guy. He is really amazing. Wonderful, really. He has a really hard past. He suffered things as a child that no child should ever have to experience. And the lack of help he received as a child to heal from those experiences has left severe spiritual and emotional scars (scars I didn’t see when we first got married, and scars that he didn’t even know were there). He is starting to heal, and it is a beautiful, but very hard, thing.

We have been married for six years, and those six years have been so hard. Of course marriage is a growing experience, and it isn’t always easy, but I never expected to have to deal with all of this hurt and pain. The thing is, I had a great, “normal”, very safe childhood. My father was a counselor and my mother was an elementary school teacher. Sure they had their faults and weaknesses – but they were, for the most part, normal faults and weaknesses, things that most parents struggle with. In general, my parents were kind, supportive, gentle, wise, and really taught us “the way [we] should go.” I have never really known many people with the kind of hurt and pain my husband has been holding inside for over 20 years. Those were the people who went to see my dad for counseling – people who had suffered hard things and needed help healing. Not me.

And yet, here I am. My husband and I see a marriage counselor just about every week. We have been seeing him since around September of last year, and I really think that he has been able to help my husband heal. There is still a lot of healing ahead (I hope). We’re nowhere near the end, but we are going to get there.

I am learning a lot about how to help my husband, and how to be strong when he is hurting.

And, thanks to the atonement of the Savior, the amazing man in my husband is able to come out from behind the scars and pain. I am learning to have more faith in the Lord’s ability to heal us. My husband has always been a righteous man, and always a very spiritual man. But the hurt from his past had caused such bitter feelings that they were eating away at our marriage. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. It was really easy to feel that way. I felt like maybe he didn’t really love me.

How foolish! My husband loves me with all of his heart, and always has.

And I guess that is why I am writing about this after studying Sister Elaine S. Dalton’s talk. Because last October when she gave this talk, I didn’t think that my husband loved me, and so I worried about how I was going to raise a righteous daughter in a home where her father didn’t love her mother.

I look back now and realize how wrong I was. He has always loved me.

Sister Dalton said, “Love her mother so much that your marriage is celestial. A temple marriage for time and all eternity is worthy of your greatest efforts and highest priority.”

My husband and I have learned that seeing a marriage counselor is not as embarrassing as it seemed at first. In fact, we love talking to people about what we learned from our marriage counselor. He is an excellent counselor. Our marriage is top priority. And right now, it needs some help. We are putting forth our greatest efforts to protect our marriage and strengthen it.

For Christmas after our daughter was born, I bought my husband this book – Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker. I read a little bit of it, and skimmed the rest, but my husband read it cover to cover. She talks about a lot of the principles mentioned by Sister Dalton in her talk. I recommend this book to any father of a daughter.

My favorite thing that Sister Dalton suggested fathers do with their daughters was attend the temple with them. I think that is a fabulous idea! My favorite temple trips were the ones when my father came with us and baptized us.

Here are some other things Sister Dalton suggested fathers can do for their daughters:

You are your daughter’s guardian in more than the legal sense. Be present in your daughter’s life. Let her know your standards, your expectations,your hopes and dreams for her success and happiness. Interview her, get to know her friends and, when the time comes, her boyfriends. Help her understand the importance of education. Help her understand that the principle of modesty is a protection. Help her choose music and media that invite the Spirit and are consistent with her divine identity. Be an active part of her life. And if in her teenage years she should not come home from a date on time, go get her.

I really enjoyed this talk. I apologize for not writing more about the talk, but I really felt inspired to share what has been going on in our marriage. Maybe to let you know that my life isn’t perfect, and we have struggles that are really, really hard – just like everyone else.

We have to rely on the atonement of our Savior for strength, for repentance, and for healing.

What did you get from Sister Dalton’s talk?

Find more insight on this talk (and others) over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

A Time to Prepare

(find the talk here)

I remember hearing Elder Ian S. Arden’s talk during General Conference and really loving this phrase, “We must be sure that being busy also equates to being productive.” I couldn’t help but think about all the times I have been “busy” but not productive. It happens more frequently than I would care to admit. Especially when I let myself get sucked into the blogosphere or other social networking sites. As I listened to Elder Arden’s talk again this weekend, and as I read it today, I was reminded of Elder David A. Bednar’s devotional Things as They Really Are that I posted about a while ago. Elder Bednar stressed that life should be experienced through our mortal body, not through digital or virtual worlds.

I have to remind myself of that when I feel like my “best friends” are some of the women whose blogs I read. When I sit in Relief Society and feel like I don’t know the sisters very well, I wonder why I have been spending so much time getting to know these bloggers, and so little time getting to know the sisters in my ward (granted, I have been reading the blogs for a few years and I have only been attending this ward for a few months – but still! I need to put in a little more effort on the real-life friendships). Part of my hesitation to get to know new people is because of my pride and my judgmental attitude (which I’m working on). “Electronic games and cyber acquaintances are no lasting substitute for real friends who can give an encouraging hug, who can pray for us and seek after our best interest.”

I have been learning that the “X” button to close a window is my greatest tool. It’s like that old rule about if something inappropriate pops up on your computer, you just turn it off. You can’t hurt your computer more than the images will hurt your soul – so just shut it off. It’s a similar principle. If I can make myself press the “X” button, rather than just minimizing the page while I go read General Conference, then I am less likely to idle away my time on another website. I particularly love to read news articles – which is good, but there is always something more to read on the internet. It’s not like a magazine or a newspaper that you can put down once you’ve read all the articles. It keeps going. Forever and ever. Elder Arden talks about becoming a “master manager of our time.” This is something that I am continually working on doing – especially as a mother of young children. It’s hard to ever feel like there is enough time in the day to do everything. Almost every night when I go to bed I think, “If only I could have done more.” I can usually be found humming the hymn “I Have Work Enough to Do” – always aware that there is more to be done. I love, though, what Elder Arden said about President Monson, “With all that he does as a prophet of God, he ensures, as the Savior did, that there is still sufficient time to visit the sick, to lift the poor in spirit, and to be a servant of all.” Sometimes I think, “Why can’t I do all that, and still keep my toilets clean!?”

“Time is never for sale; time is a commodity that cannot, try as you may,be bought at any store for any price.” This quote reminded me of a trailer I saw for a movie in which time becomes money, and money becomes time. You work for time, and you can spend your time on whatever you want – but you better be careful, because if you run out of time, that’s it – you die. I haven’t seen the movie, but I think it is a good metaphor for time – you can’t buy it, of course, but you can waste it. If time was like money, and once you ran out you died, what would you spend your time on? Would you buy that candy bar? Or would you save it up and travel the world? Or give it to someone with small children?

“With the demands made of us, we must learn to prioritize our choices to match our goals or risk being exposed to the winds of procrastination and being blown from one time-wasting activity to another.” So one of the most important things we can do as we learn to become “master managers” of our time is to figure out or priorities. What does matter most to us? Once we know what we value the most, we need to learn to match our activities with our priorities.

The theme scripture of our family blog is Alma 34:32 which says, “this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God”. I truly believe that is what we are doing in this world, and so my highest priority would be to prepare myself to meet God. That seems pretty simple, but figuring out what I actually need to do to prepare myself (and it changes with every season of life) is the hard part. Right now, a lot of me preparing to meet God is learning to have patience – with myself, with my husband, with my children, with my season of life. The way I prepare to meet God might be different later than it is now.

Elder Arden’s talk at the very least has helped me be aware of the activities with which I choose to fill up my time, making sure they don’t give “the false impression of being busy and productive” but rather are productive. Sometimes I can be very productive without even appearing busy (playing with my children – do we ever say “I’m busy” when we’re playing with our kids?).

If you are having a hard time figuring out what matters most in your life, I would direct you to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s talk in October 2010 General Conference titled Of Things that Matter Most. It will probably help you. I also wrote about it here on the blog.

How do you make sure that you make the best use of your time? Do you carefully choose your activities to match your priorities? Do you sometimes confuse “productive” with “busy”? How can you make sure you are choosing the “things that matter most”? How are you becoming a “master manager” of your time?

Charity Never Faileth

You know when you hear about some gospel topic over and over again and it seems like Heavenly Father is really trying to get something through to you – and maybe He feels like you’re not going to get it the first time?

Well, on Saturday morning I woke up feeling… well, a little less than charitable. I was extremely ornery. I hopped on my computer to check the blogs I usually read, and the first thing on my blog reader was this post by Corine over at Joy in the Journey. I read this quote, and immediately knew it had to be printed and taped up on the wall in my bathroom.

I have read Moroni 7:44-45 (men is nothing with out charity, etc) and 1 Corinthians 13 (charity suffereth long, is not puffed up, not easily provoked, etc) countless times. I have listened to and studied talk after talk after talk after talk after talk at General Conference on charity, but for some reason (natural man, anyone?) it is so hard for me to remember, in all my actions, to have charity.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul says, “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” But the greatest is charity. So if you have faith and hope, fine, but if you don’t have charity, you are “nothing” as Paul so eloquently puts it.

Since Saturday I have been working really hard at being charitable. You’ll be happy to know that I haven’t woken up ornery at all since then, and I don’t plan to start being ornery again any time soon. I am being more patient with my children and my husband, and I am learning to endure difficult circumstances without feeling like a martyr. Not feeling like a martyr when I am suffering because of the actions of others is probably the very hardest thing for me – charity doesn’t come easy for me, especially when I feel like someone who shouldn’t be hurting me is hurting me. But thanks to Corine’s post, I am putting that away (that feeling like a martyr). It’s not fun, feeling like a martyr. It makes me cranky and ornery and stressed (and it makes me break out – and that is never a good thing). It makes me short tempered with my kids. Basically, when I lack charity in one area of my life, it causes my charity to vanish in all the other aspects.

So if I want to have charity with my children, I’ll have to have charity with everyone in my life – even those I don’t think deserve my charity. What?! Did I really just say that? Yes – that attitude is the very thing that has been keeping me from having charity. I was honestly believing that this person didn’t deserve my charity. Fortunately, the Savior commanded us to love everyone – not just people we think deserve our love.

Basically if I can just remember to do everything Elder Ashton describes in the quote above, I should be fine. I’ve been working on it, and I am getting better – I have been able to have so much more charity the past few days. And it feels better.

A lot better.

Do you ever notice yourself lacking charity? How do you remind yourself to have charity throughout the day? Do you post quotes up by your mirrors like I do? Do you carry around a token in your pocket? What do you do to remember to be charitable to everyone?

Wheat and Tares

For in that day, before the Son of man shall come, he shall send forth his angels and messengers of heaven, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them out among the wicked; and there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. For the world shall be burned with fire. JST Matthew 13:42-44

What does it mean to be wicked or righteous? When the Savior taught the parable of the wheat and the tares and other parables about the kingdom of heaven, he said that at His coming, he would send angels and messengers to separate “all things that offend, and them which do iniquity” and “cast them out among the wicked.”

The Spirit World – levels of righteousness

In the Gospel Principles manual, we can read a little more about where those that “offend” and those “which do iniquity” will be sent. We know that during this life, those who have not accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ (whether or not they even had the opportunity) will be sent to Spirit Prison. “In the spirit prison are the spirits of those who have not yet received the gospel of Jesus Christ… also in the spirit prison are those who rejected the gospel after it was preached to them either on earth or in the spirit prison. These spirits suffer in a condition known as hell.” (p.244) In Alma we read, “ the spirits of the wicked, yea, who are evil – for behold they have no part nor portion of the Spirit of the Lord… these shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this because of their own iniquity.” So does this mean that everyone who has not received the gospel in this life is “wicked”? We could assume that, since they are in “spirit prison” with those who suffer because they will not accept the gospel. But there is more to spirit prison than just suffering. “The spirits in paradise can teach the spirits in prison” (p.243) and “if [the spirits in prison] accept the gospel and the ordinances performed for them in the temples, they may leave the spirit prison and dwell in paradise.” (p.244) So being in spirit prison doesn’t automatically pass a judgment of “wicked” on a person. The wicked go to spirit prison and suffer in condition known as hell, while those who were righteous go to spirit prison to wait for an opportunity to accept the gospel, and to wait for their temple work to be done.

The spirit world, then, is just like the mortal world we live in right now. There are levels of righteousness and spirituality, and there are levels of suffering. In this life, when we are righteous and live the gospel, we have peace – we also experience suffering, because that is the nature of this world; however, we can experience peace as well. Those who do not have the gospel, yet live righteously, are also living in a measure of peace and happiness. Just because they don’t have the gospel does not mean they need to be tormented. There are those who have an even greater measure of the spirit and peace, those who believe in Christ, but do not have the fullness of the gospel. I think that when we realize how the spirit world is set up – that there are righteous people even in spirit prison, we can understand that there are righteous people on this earth who do not have the fullness of the gospel. This understanding of wicked and righteous helps me to be less judgmental of those I associate with.

Many of us have heard Christians who say anyone who has not accepted Christ is going to “hell” – and that they will be burned and all that. Thankfully we have a more understanding view of how the spirit world works, and those who are righteous, even if they have not had an opportunity to accept the gospel, will not suffer in “hell”, although they will dwell in spirit prison. But sometimes I think we are misguided in our understanding of what is wicked and what is righteous, and there are members of the Church who will tell you that those not of our faith will be going to hell.

The Second Coming of the Savior Jesus Christ gives us another opportunity to study the “wicked”and the “righteous”. “When Jesus comes again… the wicked will be destroyed.” (p.257) Again, who will the wicked be at the time of the Savior’s coming? Probably more those who are in the second category of the spirits who will be in spirit prison – those who reject the gospel after it has been preached to them, whether in this life or in the next. The Gospel Principles book gives us a little more insight into who will be left during the Millennium (after the Second Coming – remember, at the second coming the wicked will be destroyed, and the righteous will live on the earth during the Millennium). Who will be “the righteous”? “They will be those who have lived virtuous and honest lives. These people will inherit either the terrestrial or celestial kingdom.” (p. 263)

Will only members of the Church be living during the Millennium? No – all people who have lived virtuous and honest lives will be on the earth during the Millennium. I know many people not of our faith who are virtuous and honest people. They will all live with Christ as well. “Eventually everyone will confess that Jesus Christ is the Savior.” But until then, it will be just like living with our kind Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, atheist, black, Asian, Republican, and Democrat neighbors as we do today.

Puts it into perspective now, doesn’t it? If we cannot live in happiness and in harmony with people who are different than us now, what makes you think you will be able to live that way in the Millennium? It makes me want to be more kind and charitable to people I don’t agree with, especially if they are kind and charitable people. I want to be able to live during the Millennium, but I know that I won’t be able to if I don’t learn how to get along with people right now, in this life.

I hope it is easier for you now to understand the difference between “wicked” and “righteous” – and that not all those in spirit prison are horrible people – some of those people may even be resurrected during the Second Coming with the other righteous during the First Resurrection. (see Gospel Principles p. 260)

A sister in our Relief Society made this very profound statement, “Each person will be taught the gospel in a way that they perfectly understand what they are accepting or rejecting.” When someone rejects the gospel, we have a tendency to judge them as “wicked” – but as this wise sister said, they will have the opportunity to understand perfectly what it is they are rejecting or accepting, and maybe they don’t understand it perfectly.

How do you understand wickedness and righteousness as it pertains to the Spirit World and to the Savior’s Second Coming? Can you look around you now in your life and see people who you think might actually live during the Millennium that before you maybe thought wouldn’t? Does having a better understanding of who the righteous are help you desire to get along and associate with people you may not have before because of their beliefs?

Children

(find the talk here)

“In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth,
there was no decorated nursery or designer crib –
only a manger for the Savior of the world.”

I have been thinking a lot about Elder Neil L. Andersen’s talk since General Conference. When I was a teenager, I thought a lot about being a mother. It was really all I wanted to be. I dreamed of having a house full of kids. Mothering children has always been on my mind.

The thing about having children (in God’s way, at least) is that it isn’t a one-person decision. I don’t get to just decide to have kids, or not to have kids – it is a decision I have to make with my husband, “with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.”

There are many women in today’s world who want to have children and raise them as a single mother. They don’t see anything wrong with that. I see a lot wrong with that.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” When single women decide to bear and raise children by themselves, they are teaching those children the complete opposite. Sure, it’s hard to be married, and it is hard to compromise and maybe not do things exactly the way you want to, or the way you think is right. But that is where children belong – with a mother and a father who are trying to work together, to be unified. They may not always be perfect, but children are entitled to being raised with a father and a mother who are trying to make things work.

Unity in marriage is another post entirely, but there needs to be unity in marriage for the decision of bearing children – obviously, since neither a man nor a woman can biologically have children without the other. Which means that the choice to have children rests with both the husband and the wife.

Just as the world has succumbed to Satan’s lie that it’s okay for single, unmarried women to raise children on their own (I’m not talking about women who get pregnant from a dumb decision, or a mistake – I’m talking about women who purposefully get pregnant while they are single because they don’t want to get married, yet they want to have children. I am also not talking about women who would get married in a heart beat, but want to raise children and so they adopt or foster as a single woman – those women are to be praised for their courage), Elder Andersen says, “Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family.” I have thought of this a lot – if there is no reason you shouldn’t have more children (you don’t have a job, your health won’t permit bearing children, you are physically unable to bear children, etc – and even in some of these cases, people will bear children), then why shouldn’t you bear children? The world will tell you ___ number of children is enough. I have a boy and a girl, and I can’t tell you how many times the world has told me, “Oh, you have a boy and a girl, that’s perfect, you can be ‘done’ having kids!” What a horrible lie. Sure, I enjoy my boy and my girl, but I have never once thought that I was going to be “done” after two children – regardless of their genders! What a crazy lie the world would have us believe.

I love when the prophets and apostles quote other good Christians at General Conference. Frequently quoted are C.S. Lewis, Charles Dickens (best of times, worst of times), and William Wordsworth, but Elder Andersen actually quoted a contemporary Christian blogger, Rachel Jankovic. I almost fell over backwards when I heard him quote her, and then after conference I had to go look her up. Of course, her quote is now being spread around the internet attributed to Elder Andersen (if you spread her quote, please give her credit). The entire blog post she wrote was very powerful. The part Elder Andersen quoted was this

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Part of me wonders what Rachel thinks of being quoted from the pulpit at LDS General Conference. I took the time to read her entire post that this quote was taken from, and it was excellent. I decided today to go buy her book, Loving the Little Years. That sentiment reminds me of a quote from President Monson in General Conference of October 2008 where he said, “If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.”

The other day I came in to my bedroom where I had laid our two and a half year old to sleep on our bed. She was asleep – next to my journal and my economy Book of Mormon. When I opened up my journal, I noticed she had scribbled on a few pages and on the inside covers. I expected to get upset (my journal is very precious to me) and then I thought about reading through that journal when my little J is grown up and independent and doesn’t need me to snuggle her and put her down for naps anymore. And I thought what a beautiful reminder that scribble in my journal will be of the innocence of her childhood, and the precious child that grew up under my care.

I enjoyed the story Elder Andersen told about Elder Mason’s talk with President Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball asked Elder Mason “Where is your faith?” When I first heard that story, and that question, I thought differently about it than I do right now. At first I thought that I didn’t have enough faith and that is why we aren’t expecting a third child yet. But now I am realizing that the Lord wants me to have faith that all my righteous desires will be realized. I need to have faith that I will have all those children my heart desires to have. And I don’t need to be bitter because I won’t have what I want right now.

I was particularly pleased that Elder Andersen reminded us not once, but twice “we should not judge one another on this matter… we should not be judgmental with one another in this sacred and private responsibility.” I think that goes both ways – we should not judge people who do not have children yet, and we should not judge people who choose to have many children, even though it may seem that they have “too many” children. It is a very personal decision, and one made between a couple and the Lord.

How have you had to have faith when it comes to bearing children? Do you think there are things that you need to do before you have children? Are children highest on your list of priorities? Do you cherish each child the Lord places into your family?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

Becoming a False Prophet

I was reading a post over on How to Be Superwoman about Personal Revelation, and I skimmed over an article she linked to that one of her readers had sent to her. The article was basically arguing that there is no such thing as personal revelation (or “personal words from God” – his words) because we can’t always be 100% accurate 100% of the time, and a prophet has to be 100% accurate 100% of the time.

I think the author of the article made a really good point. I don’t mean to say I agree that there is no personal revelation – of course I believe there is – however, I still think he brought up some valid concerns about personal revelation.

People who believe in personal revelation (especially us Mormons, since we rely so heavily on it) can be very susceptible to become false prophets to ourselves.

How do we avoid become false prophets to ourselves? Here is the (edited) comment I wrote on Amy’s blog. It is mostly my testimony of personal revelation, and maybe some of the scriptures or points I brought up will help us understand and discern between true personal revelation from God, and what we think is from God, but is not.

The Bible tells us to ask God "Ask, and ye shall receive... knock and it shall be opened unto you." (Luke 11:9, Matt 7:7) "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." (James 1:5) I can tell you right now, I lack wisdom on just about every topic in my life. Especially as a mother. I have no clue what I'm doing - so I ask God, and He helps me. I am so grateful for that knowledge that God will answer my prayers.

I have asked, and I have received answers to many questions - including whether or not the Bible is true, whether or not the Book of Mormon is true, and most importantly, if Christ is my Savior. He is.

Paul said, "for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." So if we have a testimony of Jesus, we have the spirit of prophecy (when we are testifying of Christ).

I would also add that I do not believe I (or anyone) will ever receive revelation from God that will be contrary to His word in scripture and from His prophets. (i.e., the person receiving "revelation" that he should not marry - that isn't from God, IMO). The scriptures make a really good measuring stick for what is revelation from God, and what is not. The Book of Mormon says, "all things which are good cometh of God...(see James 1:17 & 1 John 4:1-6) that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve Him, is inspired of God... for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." Moroni 7:12-13,16

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit... Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." (Matt 7:15-20)

I think that the author of the article makes a good point that people can become false prophets to themselves, and quite possibly to others. I see it all the time both in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and out of the Church. You have to be very cautious with personal revelation. It is very easy to become a false prophet if you aren't careful. But I think the author throws the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. If we don't have any revelation, how are we to know anything? How do you know the Bible is true? How do you know Christ is your Savior? If you know these things, how did you come to a knowledge of them? Or are you simply just hoping they are true?

Or did you get that knowledge from God? (knowledge from God = revelation)

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that the fullness of that gospel is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that God loves me and that He speaks to me.

Maybe God doesn't speak to me in a burning bush, but He does speak to me through a burning in my heart. And I am grateful for it.

How do you recognize when personal revelation is from God? How do you avoid becoming a false prophet to yourself? Have you ever had what you thought was a prompting from God, only to realize, upon further inspection, that it was indeed not from God?