Outward Performances and the Law of Moses

As I began to study the Come Follow Me lesson for this week, my attention was drawn to the section titled "My outward actions must reflect and increase inner conversion." The early Saints after the Savior's death still believed that they were required to practice the rites and rituals of the law of Moses to obtain salvation. I was then intrigue by this assertion in the manual:

This may seem like a problem that doesn't apply any more since we don't live by the law of Moses. But as you read Paul's writings... think about your own efforts to live the gospel.

This got me thinking about all of the rites and rituals we perform or participate in as members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ. Why, if the law of Moses has been fulfilled, and we profess to follow Jesus Christ, do we continue to participate in rites and rituals?

The first thing I did was head to Doctrine & Covenants Section 132 for a little refresher on the New and Everlasting Covenant (which is really most of what the temple rites and rituals are about). As I studied about the marriage covenant and sealing power and authority I was reminded that the New and Everlasting Covenant is in regards to exaltation rather than salvation.

Salvation vs Exaltation

In Moses chapter 1 verse 39, the Lord tells Moses, "Behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

President Russell M. Nelson taught, "To be saved - or to gain salvation - means to be saved from physical and spiritual death." This salvation comes because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, and His atoning sacrifice. We are all saved. This is what fulfilled the Law of Moses - Christ died for us, and made that eternal sacrifice so that we can all be saved. The Law of Moses was a way to remind the Jews that Christ would come and would die for all the world.

President Russell M. Nelson continued, "To be exalted - or to gain exaltation - refers to the highest state of happiness and glory in the celestial realm." This is different from salvation because it is not something that just comes to everyone - we have to make certain covenants and promises, and we make those covenants and promises through rites and rituals that are reminiscent of the Law of Moses.

Rites and Rituals

When we make covenants and promises with Heavenly Father toward our exaltation, such as baptism, receiving the priesthood for worthy males, and making temple covenants, we do so only once for ourselves. We are baptized only once ever for ourselves, and we participate in temple covenants only once for ourselves. Unlike the Law of Moses, where the rites and rituals had to be performed regularly, we only perform those rites and rituals once for our own exaltation, or eternal life. The only rite or ritual we perform multiple times for ourselves is the sacrament. However, partaking of the sacrament, while an important practice for remembering the Savior, is not essential for exaltation.

Outward Symbols of an Inner Commitment

So why all the rites and rituals? What is the point, if we believe the Law of Moses has been fulfilled and that salvation is given to all men, regardless of what we do?

The Book of Mormon gives a stirring account of some early Saints who lived prior to the life of Christ but knew of Him and the fullness of His gospel. Essentially, they already knew that Christ would come and that He would give us the beautiful gift of the atonement. However, they were still required to live the Law of Moses and participate in those rites and rituals.

Yea, and they did keep the law of Moses; for it was expedient that they should keep the law of Moses as yet, for it was not all fulfilled. But notwithstanding the law of Moses, they did look forward to the coming of Christ, considering that the law of Moses was a type of his coming, and believing that they must keep those outward performances until the time that he should be revealed unto them.

Now they did not supposed that salvation came by the law of Moses; but the law of Moses did serve to strengthen their faith in Christ; and thus they did retain a hope through faith, unto eternal salvation, relying upon the spirit of prophecy, which spake of those things to come.

The Saints in the Americas did not keep the Law of Moses because they thought they needed to do all of those things in order to gain salvation. They kept the Law of Moses because they used those rites and rituals to strengthen their faith in Jesus Christ.

Likewise, we are not required to take the sacrament, or participate in temple ordinances. Even if we have made covenants for ourselves in the temple, there is no requirement to return to the temple for our own exaltation. We did what was required. So why go back? Why take the sacrament? The Book of Mormon gives us this beautiful explanation and admonition: "to strengthen [our] faith in Christ."

It is easy to think of partaking of the sacrament and attending the temple as some kind of check box. Each week we take the sacrament on Sunday, "check"! Each time we attend the temple to perform vicarious works for the dead, "check"! We will probably get a lot more out of the rites and rituals that we perform regularly if we approach it as the Saints did in the Americas - as a way to strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ.

The section from the Come Follow Me manual ends with these questions:

Are your outward performances, such as taking the sacrament or attending the temple, leading you to conversion and strengthening your faith in Christ? How can you ensure that your outward actions are leading to a change of heart?

Patriarchal Order

(Note: these are mostly my raw notes from a class I attended at BYU Education Week. I haven’t included much of my own insights and feelings, so feel free to chime in with some of your own observations, and quotes, etc from other sources I haven’t mentioned)

(EDIT 1/20/2013: A fellow blogger, Heather @ Women in the Scriptures recently posted an excellent piece about what it means to "preside" which I think goes hand in hand with the ideas in this post, and would be an excellent read if you are looking for more of what that means: find the post here

The priesthood structure in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is patriarchal. That is exactly what it is, and it is designed to be that way by God. But what that means is sometimes confusing, and leads a lot of men (and women) to think that men are somehow superior to, more important than, or the “ruler” of some kind – basically that men should lead and women should follow. This understanding is an inaccurate understanding of what patriarchal order means in the Church.

Last summer I attended BYU Education Week and attended a class about the patriarchal order and leadership in marriage. I haven’t typed up my notes for the blog yet, and I figured I should since I learned a lot of good things.

The instructor talked about three doctrines involved in the understanding of patriarchal order. We talked a little bit about other doctrines that have to be taken together to get the whole picture – for example, grace and works, justice and mercy, etc. If you look at only one of the doctrines, then you miss the picture and you get an incomplete understand of the full doctrine.

In order to understand the patriarchal order in the Church, we have to look at three doctrines:

1.) Men Preside
2.) Men and Women are Absolute Equals
3.) Gospel Leadership Means Service

Men Preside

The first doctrine, “Men Preside” at first sounds like men are in some way above women. The Merriam-Webster definition of preside states “to exercise guidance, direction, or control.” I think the first two are the most suitable in this situation – that a father presides to exercise guidance and direction, not necessarily control. The definition also includes “to occupy the place of authority.”

Elder Deal L. Larsen said, “In the Lord’s system of government, every organization unit must have a presiding officer. He has decreed that in the family organization the father assumes this role. He bears the priesthood ordination. He is accountable before the Lord for this leadership.”

Our instructor also mentioned that the patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose. We may not know exactly what that is in this life. We may know ever really know why men preside and not women, but we know that’s the way the Lord has instructed us to do it, and I do not think that it takes something away from women to not preside. I think it’s more about order.

Some responsibilities associated with presiding are
- lead with love, gentleness, and kindness
- preside at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening
- teach correct principles
- give father’s blessings
- conduct father’s interviews
- participate in children’s discipline
- sacrifice for the well being of the family
- set a good example
- live a family centered life

I don’t see anything in this list that would suggest that a man is “above” a woman in presiding. It is simply the order of things. And just because something is in this list does not mean that women cannot also do it. Even presiding at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening – at times a mother may preside in these instances.

Presiding implies taking initiative. The husband, in presiding, initiates gospel living in the home. He should not be the one dragged along by his wife or children.

Satan takes a lot of divine things and twists them around. He takes things that are sacred and beautiful and makes them profane and obscene. He has done the same thing with the patriarchal order and convinced men (and women) that since a man presides over his family that somehow means that he is more important than his wife, or he has the final say, or his wife’s input is not as important.

If we look only at the doctrine that men preside, our doctrine certainly appears chauvinistic and oppressive. We can’t stop here, we have to look at the other very important doctrines.

Men and Women are Absolute Equals

The second doctrine in the patriarchal order is “Men and Women are Absolute Equals”.

Elder L. Tom Perry said,

Remember, brethren, that in your role as leader in the family, your wife is your companion. As President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.”  Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity. Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.

While the husband may preside spiritually over the family (which really just means that he has a responsibility to guide and direct his family – basically show his family how to live the gospel and how to return to Heavenly Father), the wife stands by his side at the head of the family. She is not like the husband’s child. She is to stand with him, united “as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit.”

We talked about a few different kinds of “leaders” in a family.

The Dictator – there are actually two different types of dictators. There is a tyrant, who terrorizes his wife into doing what he wants her to do. “You will do this.” And then there is what our teacher called the “benevolent dictator”. This is the man who comes to his wife when it is time to make a decision on something, such as buying a new car, and says “Honey, what kind of car do you think we should buy?”, listens politely, and then goes out and buys whatever he wants to buy.

Reluctant Leader – this is the man who doesn’t really want to lead a family. He would rather let his wife take care of everything while he goes out to play (or stays in to play, as the case may be). The wife has to step up and lead the family because her husband won’t.

Figurehead – this is the leader who gets pushed out of the way by her wife. He appears to be the leader in the family, but the wife takes everything over without even consulting him (this, I might add, would be when the wife is the dictator). This man may want to be the leader in the home, and when questioned the wife may actually say he is the leader, but in reality she does it all. A lot of times this comes because the wife has an attitude of “I can do it better than you” rather than letting the husband lead the way he knows how, and encouraging him. In Father, Consider Your Ways, the twelve apostles counseled husbands (and wives) that fatherhood and the associated leadership “is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of law and [divine] appointment.” I think a lot of women might do well to remember that. It’s not about our husband’s being the best at being a husband or father, it’s about them being called. Just like it’s not about the Relief Society President being the best for the job – it’s about the Bishop having called her to be the president, and us sustaining her in that calling.

But none of these types of leaders are in harmony with gospel doctrine. The doctrine says that we should be equal partners. So what does that look like?

Equal Partners – both partners have veto power. Decisions are unanimous. If husband and wife don’t both agree, then the issue is tabled until they can agree. Honestly this is hard because sometimes it means that nothing gets done. Look at the United States Congress – and they don’t even have to have a unanimous vote! But that doesn’t change the fact that in order to be equal partners you must both agree. And sometimes that involved compromise (which is not a bad thing). Marion G. Romney reminded us that “Neither [husband nor wife] should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together.”

Another example our instructor used was that of two signatures on a check. Every decision requires two signatures – the husband’s, and the wife’s. He also mentioned that this is how the quorum of the twelve apostles works – all decisions have to be unanimous before the decision is official.

Gospel Leadership Means Service

The third doctrine we have to consider is that “Gospel Leadership Means Service”. “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” Christ presides over His Church this way – as our servant. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught us that we should be a “leader-servant”. The question a gospel leader should ask is “How can I help?” rather than “How can I help myself?” The father, as the leader of the family, is this “leader-servant”.

It’s almost important to remember that the presiding done by a father in the home is a spiritual leadership, rather than a governmental or political leadership. That is what Elder Perry meant when he said there is no “president” in the family. There is a man who is a spiritual leader, which means he is a “leader-servant”.

Joseph F. Smith taught men how to treat their wives, “Parents … should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children.”

President Boyd K. Packer also taught men about serving their wives and children.

It was not meant that the woman alone accommodate herself to the priesthood duties of her husband or her sons. She is of course to sustain and support and encourage them.

Holders of the priesthood, in turn, must accommodate themselves to the needs and responsibilities of the wife and mother. Her physical and emotional and intellectual and cultural well-being and her spiritual development must stand first among his priesthood duties.

There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not his equal obligation. The tasks which come with parenthood, which many consider to be below other tasks, are simply above them.

Those outside the Church think that ordination to the Priesthood means “power” in the worldly sense. The true meaning of the Priesthood in the Church means service and protection. President David O. McKay described Priesthood power like the power of a reservoir of water,

We can conceive of the power of the priesthood as being potentially existent as an impounded reservoir of water. Such power becomes dynamic and productive of good only when the liberated force becomes active in valleys, fields, gardens, and happy homes. So the priesthood, as related to humanity, is a principle of power only as it becomes active in the lives of men, turning their hearts and desires toward God and prompting service to their fellowmen.

…I say that because the priesthood you hold means that you are to serve others.

The Priesthood has no power until it is used to serve others.

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How have you seen the principle of patriarchal leadership twisted by Satan? What blessings come to families when patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly, when husbands and father are servant-leaders and equal partners with their wives? Do you feel like patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly in your home? In your ward?

GCBC Week 23: “That the Lost May Be Found”

Just as the nausea recedes from my list of pregnancy symptoms, congestion begins in full force. I was thinking about the patience it takes to be pregnant for nine months and I thought, “What a great training ground for the patience it will take to raise a child.” If I can make it through nine months of pregnancy symptoms, then labor and delivery, I can take anything this child can dish out, right?

That the Lost May Be Found – by Elder M. Russell Ballard

I was struck by Elder Ballard’s observation about families -

Opposite of what many had thought, prosperity and education seem to be connected to a higher likelihood of having traditional families and values.

I admired him for bringing out the concern of causation vs correlation.

The real question, of course, is about cause and effect. Do some sectors of our society have stronger values and families because they are more educated and prosperous, or are they more educated and prosperous because they have values and strong families?

But of course we know that it is causation, and we know what the cause is – strong families.

…[S]ocieties at large are strengthened as families grow stronger. Commitments to family and values are the basic cause. Nearly everything else is effect. When couples marry and make commitments to each other, they greatly increase their chances of economic well-being. When children are born in wedlock and have both a mom and a dad, their opportunities and their likelihood of occupational success skyrocket. And when families work and play together, neighborhoods and communities flourish, economies improve, and less government and fewer costly safety nets are required.

What stood out to you from Elder Ballard’s talk?

Where Did I Come From?

I love science. Especially physics. My best friend and roommate from Brigham Young University was an astrophysics major when we were going through school, and I was studying physics for my minor, so we had a lot of physics classes together. When she got home from her mission and I was just married we attended a lecture about dark matter. The Wikipedia article starts out, “In astronomy and cosmology, dark matter is a currently unknown type of matter hypothesized to account for a large part of the total mass in the universe.” The lecture was fascinating, and the conclusion was, “We still have no clue what dark matter is.” Which is kind of fun in the math and science world, because that means there is more to learn and discover!

As a mathematician and lover of science (I wouldn’t dare call myself a scientist), and a very religious person, I find things like dark matter fascinating. It is not hard for me to reconcile my belief in science with my faith in God. When I come across something that science can’t explain (right now) it is usually a great faith builder for me – partly because I have to have faith that there is an explanation, and partly because when science can’t explain something it humbles me to remember just how little we do know about God and His creations.

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine shared this video with me. It was amazing. As I said, I am a lover of science, but also a lover of the gospel. Many of the topics discussed in this video brought a lot of light and truth to me as I pondered them in relation to things that I have learned about the gospel. I should probably stop being surprised that science makes so much sense. And especially that true science always fits in with the gospel.

I especially love when he says “Quantum mechanics would be intuitive to their toddlers. Whole symphonies would be written by their children…” Yup.

What do you think?

“Be Men”

Book of Mormon Papers - a series of posts
containing papers I wrote for a
BYU Religion class my freshman year of college.

(Note: This is one of my favorite papers. Ever since I found out my first son would be a boy I have fretted over how to teach him to be a man. What does it even mean to be a man? Our society has such twisted ideas on what makes a “man” – they don’t usually include being a worthy priesthood holder, serving others, obeying God, and protecting your family. The world is more likely to see a “man” as someone who is “buff”, someone who can “get the ladies” and someone who does whatever he wants to, without regard for anyone else’s needs or feelings. The Lord’s way is not our way (Isaiah 55:9), and is definitely not society’s way. Let’s teach our sons to be men. Godly men.)

Lehi and his family traveled for many years in the wilderness. Near the end of Lehi’s life, he spoke to all of his sons and gave them words of wisdom and admonishment. Lehi spoke to Laman and Lemuel and counseled his sons to be men. What did Lehi mean when he gave his sons this counsel, and how can this counsel be applied to how one lives in today’s world? When Lehi gave this counsel to his sons, he was encouraging them to be strong in the faith and stay true to the gospel of Jesus Christ so that they would be able to receive eternal life and live with their families in glory for eternity. Men and women today can take the same counsel to heart if they desire the blessings promised to those who become men or women of Zion.

Lehi was concerned about the spiritual welfare of his sons, which is seen throughout his life as recorded by Nephi. Along with his father, Nephi tried several times to convince his brothers of the truthfulness and necessity of accepting the gospel. Throughout their journeys in the wilderness, Laman and Lemuel rarely showed the qualities of manhood which were desired of them by their father. Lehi showed his great concern for his sons when he instructed them to “arise out of the dust… and by men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity.” The dying prophet was trying to get his sons to understand what qualities would make them part of Zion – by being “of one heart and one mind, and [dwelling] in righteousness.”(Moses 7:18) To Lehi, being a man meant possessing and developing the qualities of Zion.

Other fathers also counseled their sons to “be men.”(2 Nephi 1:21) On his deathbed, King David of the Old Testament pleaded with Solomon, “Shew thyself a man.”(1 Kings 2:2) David had the same ideas as Lehi on what would make his son a man. A son could become a man if he would “keep charge of the Lord thy God, to walk his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies.”(1 Kings 2:3) These qualities also can be included in the list of those that build Zion.

Laman and Lemuel were further instructed by their father to “put on the armor of righteousness”(2 Nephi 1:23) to escape the chains of Satan. This instruction is explained more fully in Lehi’s discourse to Jacob, his firstborn in the wilderness. Lehi teaches his family, or rather reminds them, of the plan of salvation and the law of the atonement and the Messiah, whereby men are justified. It is by observing the commandments of Christ that Lehi encouraged his sons to be men, and the commandments of Christ begin with the atonement and salvation through Him.

Lehi desired that his sons become men, just as the Father desires that all of His children become men and women, heirs to celestial thrones. Therefore, mankind must “stand fast in the faith… [and] be strong”(1 Corinthians 16:13) and “be of good courage”(2 Samuel 10:12) and be steadfast in keeping the commandments of the Lord. Mankind must choose to heed the counsel of Lehi and other fathers, including that of the Eternal Father, and be determined, be of Zion, “be men.”

How are you teaching your sons to be men, and your daughters to be women? Are we men and women of God? Are we courageous in keeping the commandments – a mark of true manhood and womanhood?

If you haven’t seen the movie Courageous, I can’t recommend it enough! It is an excellent movie, which testifies of the importance of fathers who are godly men, and also testifies of the redeeming power of the Savior’s atonement. Go watch it. You won’t regret it, I promise. It’s even action packed enough to keep your husband’s awake! Here’s the trailer if you need more convincing:

Stand in Holy Places

(find the talk here)

I didn’t get a chance to read this talk this morning, but I was super tired (my wonderful husband surprised me on Saturday with a brand new computer(!) and I spent most of Saturday and Sunday evening trying to get all my photo albums switched over to the new computer) – so I am trying to make up for it now.

I really enjoyed this talk. I am pretty sure that it was one of the first talks our ward Relief Society studied for our Teachings for Our Times lesson.

It’s not hard to see that what President Thomas S. Monson said about the “moral compass of society” is absolutely true.

“Also evolving at a rapid rate has been the moral compass of society. Behaviors which once were considered inappropriate and immoral are now not only tolerated but also viewed by ever so many as acceptable.”

It’s interesting that there are a lot of things that made people uncomfortable decades ago and now are mostly the “norm” – and some of those things are good (interracial marriage, women’s suffrage, etc) and some of those things are bad (views on homosexuality, skewed priorities of mothers, financial miseducation, etc).

“Although the world has changed, the laws of God remain constant.” The bishop of one of my student wards in college drew the two lines as pictured above on a chalkboard during a combined Relief Society and Priesthood meeting. Actually, the first time he drew the lines, the top line ran parallel to the bottom line. He discussed with us how the world’s morality has always been slightly lower than the morality of members of the Church, but how members today are letting their standards fall along with the world – even though our standards are still higher than those of the world. Then he erased the top line and drew a straight line across like the one I have pictured. He then taught us about the constancy of God and how His laws never change, and so our standards should never be lowered. The gap between the standards of the Church and the standards of the world should be growing if the standards of the world are declining.

Most of us probably experience feelings of uncertainty when we think about raising children in today’s society, which is only getting worse and worse. President Monson asks the questions: “Do we wring our hands in despair and wonder how we’ll ever survive in such a world?” His answer is an emphatic “No.” And I echo that sentiment. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives, and we know how to keep our families safe from the storms of the world. President Monson’s message is that the way to keep our families safe is by maintaining a close relationship with our Father in Heaven.

This is something that I frequently “wring my hands” about teaching my children:

“It may appear to you at times that those out in the world are having much more fun than you are. Some of you may feel restricted by the code of conduct to which we in the Church adhere. My brothers and sisters, I declare to you, however, that there is nothing which can bring more joy into our lives or more peace to our souls than the Spirit which can come to us as we follow the Savior and keep the commandments. That Spirit cannot be present at the kinds of activities in which so much of the world participates.”

I am always concerned that my children will feel this way – that the laws of God are restrictive. I want to teach them that obedience to God’s laws brings “more joy into our lives [and] more peace to our souls”.

Just tonight I had a conversation with my four year old, who is having a really hard time learning how to obey rules. He tells me all the time that he wishes there were “no rules” and that he could just do “whatever [he] want[s]” to do. We talked about how kites fly by being held by a string, and that if we let go of the string, the kite will fall down to the ground. Then we talked about how following God’s rules helps us feel the Spirit and how obeying our parents keeps us safe, and how obeying the rules to a game helps us have more fun.

I hope that bedtime conversation will have an impact on him. I know that just one conversation will not be enough – I will have to show him by my obedience to God’s laws, and other important “rules” and we will talk about this concept frequently. I still can’t help but worry about him.

On a concluding note, I have to say that I wish I could say that “not a day has gone by that I have not communicated with my Father in Heaven through prayer.” I want to make a goal to communicate with my Father in Heaven every day.

How do you keep your family safe in this morally declining world? How often do you communicate with your Heavenly Father?

Children are hard - So don’t have any

A friend of mine shared a “funny” video the other day. If you want to watch it without having it spoiled, hurry and click on the link. If you don’t have a desire to watch it, read on.

The video opens with a young father and his son (probably 6 or 7?) at a grocery store. The young son takes some cereal off the shelf and puts it in the cart. The father picks it up and deliberately puts it back, and thus ensues a little “take it out, put it back” war between father and son. Suddenly, after the father puts it back again, the young boy starts throwing a tantrum, screaming, throwing things off the shelves, lying on the floor screaming and hitting the floor, all while the bystanders watch in displeasure and seem to give the young father one of “those” looks (if you’ve ever been in the grocery store with a screaming child, you know what I’m talking about). You notice (or maybe you don’t, but I did) that there are only adults (and most of them older – think 40s+) and none of them have children (of any age) with them. The commercial ends with a close up of the young father’s face and a message at the bottom: “Wear condoms.”

Now, while the irony of the video might be somewhat funny, I found the message to be in poor taste, and exactly what Elder Neil A. Andersen was illustrating in his talk from General Conference about children and how the world views them as a lower priority than anything. The message I observed in the video was this, “Children are hard work, so make sure you don’t have any.”

The video is in another language with subtitles (I think French?) and I thought that a commercial like this would probably not fly in the United States. Fortunately we have enough mothers who aggressively defend motherhood (like Rachel Jankovic) in the United States that I think there would be some really negative backlash to a commercial like this being aired in the United States. But in Europe, where families values have eroded so much that some countries are trying to get more men to be teachers so that children will have positive male role models (what happened to fathers?!) I thought this commercial was probably very well received.

I thought the message in the commercial might have been more “don’t have kids if you’re not ready to have kids” if there had been other, well-behaved children in the commercial. But in the commercial you will notice a blatant lack of children. So that leads me to believe that the marketers weren’t just targeting people who might not be emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially prepared to have children. Since the only child in the entire commercial was acting like a monster (while the father simply stands by and “lets” him throw the fit – a conversation for another day) – which even well-behaved children will do sometimes – there was no other conclusion to draw other than that the marketers view all children as trials and burdens which we should protect ourselves from  by wearing condoms (or using another form of birth control – don’t worry, I am not knocking birth control here – there is a time and place for that, too).

I know this sounds a little harsh, and maybe I am off – maybe the marketers really were saying “If you’re not ready to have kids, wait until you are.” What did you think?

PS – I included a few pictures of my two year old during some of her tantrums. (which happen quite frequently… because she is two) so you would know that I don’t think my children are always perfect. I wanted to be fair and include pictures of my four year old, but either he doesn’t throw tantrums as often as she does, or he just makes sure he isn’t throwing tantrums while we are taking pictures. Either way – parenting is hard, children are hard – mine throw tantrums all the time. But it is by far the most important thing we can ever do.

What message did you see in the commercial? Do you think the commercial illustrates, at least somewhat, the lower priority most people in the world give to having and raising successful children? Or do you think it is simply a harmless message?

Follow the Prophet

Note: I originally wrote this post on October 18, 2010 on my family blog. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and have decided to publish it on My Soul Delighteth. I think it belongs here.

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, President Boyd K. Packer, whom members of the church sustain to be a “prophet, seer and revelator” gave this talk.

As a prophet, President Packer’s responsibility is to call the world to repentance – much like Noah did in his day as he built the ark, like Lehi in Jerusalem, and like many other prophets in the past.

Unfortunately, as they did with Noah and Lehi, the world has rejected the words of the prophets, and have even gone so far as to petition him to withdraw his statements. This is not a new thing. It has happened again and again throughout history, and God’s word has always remained unchanged. As President Packer so bluntly put it:

...there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature...There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed...To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I also believe in God’s word, and I firmly believe in God’s prophets who deliver His word to us – especially in these latter days.

Satan is stirring up the hearts of men. A war is waging. “Who’s on the Lord’s side, who? Now is the time to show...” This particular battle hits really close to home for me. I have had to make some really difficult decisions about some people who are very dear to me. All I can think about is how to “love one another” while still being devoted to righteousness, and not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” This article, a Q&A with Elder Oaks and a member of the 70, has been particularly helpful.

In response to the petition I mentioned earlier, the brethren had this to say:

Much of this was not new, but there were a lot of really great things said. A few of my favorites:

“As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman.”
“None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.”
“The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.”

I don’t believe that there is a different "type" of person that is homosexual or “gay” - to me, that would be like saying people with black skin are somehow "different" than people with whiter skin (if you've read The Help you might see where I am going with that). I know that people will disagree, and that is fine. I believe that people have same-gender, or homosexual, attractions, and that they can sometimes be very strong. But they are still just children of God to me. If they choose to participate in homosexual behaviors, or live a homosexual lifestyle, then that is what they are doing. I believe that there is nothing fundamentally different between someone who struggles with same-gender attraction, and the rest of God’s children who struggle with something else. We are all children of God experiencing trials and struggles on this earth with Satan tempting us and trying us. We inhabit imperfect bodies with imperfect emotions and chemical make ups. We all face trials. (read more about that here)

God made man and woman. He created them specifically different – to fulfill different purposes. From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

As I write this, I realize that I am not writing it to an audience of people who don’t believe in Christ and the atonement. I am writing it in hopes that someone who feels unsure about the word of God on this issue can maybe read my testimony and perhaps feel the spirit and have a little better understanding of God’s word.

It is not easy to stay true to the Savior. Especially in today’s social and political climate. There is so much of the Adversary’s influence in our societies that we can be easily confused by the arguments out there.

Sometimes I get very discouraged because the world is getting more and more wicked – good is called evil, and evil is called good. But I know that there is hope and happiness available to those who live the gospel – for those who earnestly call on God in the name of His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ and ask for a confirmation of that which is true. The Spirit will guide us. I know that because I beg the Lord for His Spirit to be with me as I raise my children and feel like I don’t know anything. And he grants His spirit to me.

If there is one thing I know is absolutely true, it is that God lives and loves us and has given us living prophets on the earth to help guide us when we become confused about how to live in the world and not be of the world.

And I hope and pray that you will try to get that testimony for yourself.

Recommended reading:
Cleansing the Inner Vessel by President Boyd K. Packer
The Q&A with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman
The Response to the HRC Petition
Many of These Articles
This Proclamation
Another Good Article by Elder Oaks

The Sabbath Part V – Worthy and Holy Activities

(This is Part V of a five part series on The Sabbath)

Several months ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a recent convert to the Church. I mentioned something about not going to the pool on Sunday, and she said to me, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” My friend was sincerely wanting to learn more about the Sabbath, and later when she and her boys moved in with us for a few weeks, we had an opportunity to talk more about the Sabbath.

The first thing that struck me when she asked, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” was that word “can’t.” To me, it’s not as much about can’t  as it is about don’t. We don’t go to the pool (or participate in other recreational activities) on the Sabbath because we are too busy participating in “worthy and holy activities.” President Kimball said, “The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things.” Of course, that leaves us with the question “What is a worthy or holy activity?”

When the Church reorganized the meeting schedule to have only the three hour block of meetings on Sunday, they issued some instruction about what to do with all the time they would now have on the Sabbath. When before, families were attending meetings or traveling between meetings nearly all Sunday long, now they would attend their three hour block, then have the rest of the day to choose their activities. “Because the new schedule will give families time together on Sundays, parents will want to plan activities for the Sabbath that will spiritually strengthen the family.” So there is the key – worthy and holy activities will be those that spiritually strengthen families.

The Family Home Evening Manual has a really good “test” for Sabbath day activities. “To determine whether a specific activity is appropriate, ask, ‘Does it bring me closer to my Heavenly Father?’” This should be a pretty easy question to answer,  but the answer for this question might not be the same for every person. Each of us must ask this question about our own situation. Prayerfully ask this question, and you will probably be keeping the Sabbath day holy.

President Kimball had some suggestions for appropriate Sabbath day activities. “The Sabbath … is a day for consistent attendance at meetings for the worship of the Lord, drinking at the fountain of knowledge and instruction, enjoying the family, and finding uplift in music and song.” He also said that to observe the Sabbath day, “one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected.”

The Church News listed some good suggestions as well.

[Families] may wish to spend some time with the family each Sunday in gospel discussion and instruction, under the direction of the head of the household. They may use the scriptures, the most recent general conference talks, family home evening manuals, Church publications, and other publications as a resource.

Other appropriate Sunday activities include (1) writing personal and family journals, (2) holding family councils, (3) establishing and maintaining family organizations for the immediate and extended family, (4) personal interviews between parents and children, (5) writing to relatives and missionaries, (6) genealogy, (7) visiting relatives and those who are ill or lonely, (8) missionary work, (9) reading stories to children, and (10)singing Church hymns.

As somewhat of an illustration of what is not appropriate for the Sabbath, President Kimball shared this story, “A seminary group planned a service in the mountains on Sunday. They felt justified in the have their meeting and enjoyed a spiritual hour together, but after that hour the day became a day for picnicking, games, hiking,and climbing, with no further thought of the Sabbath. The one hour of devotion did not make of that day a holy day.” We have to make sure that we don’t fall into the mindset of being able to whatever we want to on the Sabbath just because we spent a few hours meditating and studying the gospel.

Further, the Church News article stated, “Many activities are not appropriate on the Sabbath day, such as gardening, family parties, and household projects. Families may wish to plan family household and recreational activities for Saturday or other weekdays when parents are home with their children.” I thought it was interesting that they included “family parties” in this, because I know many people who use Sunday dinner as an excuse to get all the family together, but often that means getting together for a very labor-intensive meal, followed by chatting, games, movies, or other not-so-appropriate Sunday activities. It would be one thing if a mother and father had all their grown children over on the Sabbath for a light dinner (think sandwiches, or a crockpot soup prepared the night before, or a casserole or something prepared the night before) and followed their dinner with a gospel discussion, reading from the scriptures and the words of the prophets, or watching Church videos about Christ and the plan of salvation. But too often, “visiting family” on the Sabbath turns into a chance to “play” with your family, watch a movie together, and partaking in worldly activities.

Our situations are all different, and that is the beauty of personal revelation. The Lord can help us find, through revelation, the activities that are appropriate for the Sabbath and the things that will bring us closer to Him and help us worship Him on His holy day. Whether you are single, married with no children, a part member family, or a grandma and grandpa with many grown children, you can still put forth an effort to keep the Sabbath day holy, and the Lord will bless your efforts.

The prophet Isaiah taught

If thou turn away … from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways,nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

The Sabbath day isn’t a day to deprive us of “fun” things – it is a day for us to practice putting our will in line with the Lord’s will, finding the things that He would have us do, and growing closer to Him in the process.

What a blessing it is that the Lord would set aside an entire day so that we can devote all that time to growing closer to Him without having to worry about all our worldly cares!

So this Sunday, as you plan activities with your family, ask yourself, “Does it bring me closer to Heavenly Father?”

What kinds of activities do you participate in on the Sabbath? Do you have specific struggles that make Sabbath day observance a challenge?

Part IV

The Sabbath Part IV – Rest From Our Labors

(This is Part IV of a five part series on The Sabbath)

To Rest From our Labors

Elder Perry said, “Sometimes we think of resting from our labors as merely letting the hay baler stand idle in the field or putting a Closed sign on the business door.” President Kimball said, “Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient.”

Our “work” these days is often done in the home, from the home, and sometimes it is hard to stay away from those work related activities in our homes. There are also other types of “work” we must rest from. “business activities we may accomplish from home, athletic competitions, and other pursuits that take us away from Sabbath day worship and the opportunity to minister to others.” I think that Elder Perry’s description of “work” can help us make our own judgments about what we should and should not do on the Sabbath. Anything that “takes us away from Sabbath day worship and the opportunity to minister to others” is probably not an appropriate activity for the Sabbath.

President Kimball warned, “Strange as it may seem, some Latter-day Saints, faithful in all other respects, justify themselves in missing their church meetings on occasion for recreational purposes, feeling that the best fishing will be missed if one is not on the stream on opening day or that the vacation will not be long enough if one does not set off on Sunday or that one will miss a movie he wanted to see if he does not go on the Sabbath.” Anything that takes us away from Sabbath worship is not keeping the Sabbath day holy, for sure. Our place is in our meetings on the Sabbath day – particularly sacrament meeting, but also Sunday School and Relief Society and Priesthood meetings.

I know some people (I won’t name names…) who like to nap all Sunday afternoon, or sleep in Sunday morning if they have afternoon Church meetings, but President Kimball says, “The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it.” What? It’s breaking the Sabbath to lounge around? I thought we were supposed to “rest from our labors”?

A few weeks ago we studied the Gospel Principles lesson on the Spirit World and one of the characteristics of the Spirit world is that “The spirit world is a place of waiting, working, learning, and, for the righteous, resting from care and sorrow.” It seems contradictory to talk about “working” and “resting” in the same sentence, but that is exactly what the Spirit world will be like – we will rest from care and sorrow (from worldly things) and yet we will be working to save souls. Do you see the parallel with the Sabbath? On the Sabbath we rest from worldly pursuits and instead focus all our efforts on spiritual pursuits.

Taking a nap to rejuvenate your body and mind is obviously very appropriate for the Sabbath, but if your nap is three hours long you are probably missing out on “the opportunity to minister to others” on the Sabbath. And if you are needing a nap or to sleep in because you were out partying all night long on Saturday, or because you stayed up late Saturday night playing videos games or watching movies, then that is not really a good reason for a nap. Our preparation for the Sabbath day begins on Saturday. Remember that Primary song? “Saturday is a special day it’s the day we get ready for Sunday.” My family used to sing that song on Saturday as we did chores around the house getting it ready for the Sabbath. We try to retire early on Saturday night so that we will be rested and refreshed for the Sabbath day.

How do you rest on the Sabbath day? Do you choose only activities that will allow you to attend your meetings and that will allow you to find opportunities to minister to others?

Part III            Part V

The Sanctifying Work of Welfare

(find the talk here)

I have been gaining a stronger testimony recently that many Church programs are not simply organizations made up by man to help the members of the Church. They are revealed programs by the Lord, and existed in the ancient Church, whether they were called by the same name. Recently the leaders of the Church have been testifying of the organization of the Relief Society and the Welfare program, reminding us that these programs existed in Christ’s day, even if they were called something else.

Bishop H. David Burton said, “It is in the benevolent practice of sacrifice and giving of ourselves to others that we learn the celestial principles of sacrifice and consecration.” Since celestial glory is the goal of members of the Church, learning to live celestial principles is definitely our goal here on earth. The principles of welfare are really principles of sacrifice and consecration, two covenants that we make with our Father.

The welfare work is led by bishops all over the world to help the members of the ward – not just those who attend their congregation, but those within their ward boundaries who are in need of assistance. That seems like a huge responsibility, but the bishops are assisted by ward councils including Relief Society presidents, who, President Eyring said, may receive revelation for how to help before the bishop does.

I was really impressed by the story Bishop Burton told of the priesthood leader in South America who was distressed by the hunger and poverty of the members of his ward. Instead of writing to Church headquarters for food or clothing, the priesthood leader found a little plot of land, and with help from the brethren and sisters in the ward cultivated the land and grew crops to feed the ward member – despite trials and setbacks.

I think this is the key to the welfare program of the Church – it is not simply to help people, but to “help people help themselves.” The whole gospel message is that – the leaders of the Church can teach us the principles of the gospel, and can provide a place to meet, and manuals and scriptures to study, but we have to do the actual work. We have to want to become spiritually self-sufficient, just as we have to want to become temporally self-provident. Of course, we cannot become self-proficient at anything without the necessary tools, so it is our job as members of Christ’s kingdom to help give our neighbors the things they need to learn how to help themselves.

Bishop Burton gave a great illustration of how we have to take care of the temporal needs of those who also have spiritual needs.

In 1897 a young David O. McKay stood at a door with a tract in his hand. As a missionary in Stirling, Scotland, he had done this many times before. But on that day a very haggard woman opened the door and stood before him. She was poorly dressed and had sunken cheeks and unkempt hair.

She took the tract Elder McKay offered to her and spoke six words that he subsequently would never forget: “Will this buy me any bread?”

This encounter left a lasting impression on the young missionary. He later wrote: “From that moment I had a deeper realization that the Church of Christ should be and is interested in the temporal salvation of man. I walked away from the door feeling that that [woman], with … bitterness in[her heart] toward man and God, [was] in no position to receive the message of the gospel. [She was] in need of temporal help, and there was no organization, so far as I could learn, in Stirling that could give it to[her].”¹

The Savior himself often healed physical infirmities before healing spirits. He knew that when people feel taken care of they are more likely to accept the gospel. I would not believe in a gospel or a Church that preached anything but left its members out in the cold. President Gordon B. Hinckley told members in distress that, “As long as the Church has resources, we will not let you go hungry or without clothing or without shelter. We shall do all that we can to assist in the way that the Lord has designated that it should be done.” Bishop Burton quoted President Heber J. Grant who said he would “close the seminaries, shut down missionary work for a period of time, or even close the temples, but they would not let the people go hungry.” What a beautiful statement – the welfare program of the Church is truly inspired.

It seems to me that the success of the Church’s welfare program is based on the self-sufficiency of the members, and the education and eventual self-sufficiency of those who may receive assistance at one time or another. Bishop Burton listed the foundational principles of self-reliance, “avoid debt, implement principles of thrift, prepare for times of distress, listen to and follow the words of the living oracles, develop the discipline to distinguish between needs and wants and then live accordingly.” I thought it was interesting that a principle of self-reliance would be to listen to and follow the words of the prophets. But, indeed, following the prophets leads not only to spiritual prosperity, but temporal prosperity as well.

Bishop Burton’s talk is inspiring me to be more self-sufficient so that I can contribute to the welfare work of God’s kingdom. It also gives me the courage to ask for help when I need it. When we help each other and consecrate our time and means for each other and for the Church, we are truly learning the meaning of sacrifice and consecration.

In what ways do you participate in the Church’s welfare program? Have you had to accept help from the welfare program? Did you feel more able to provide for your family because of the assistance of the Church? How have you been able to help others as you have become self reliant?

This is the last week to enter my 100th Blog Post giveaway! I’m giving away framed prints of the Salt Lake Temple. Make sure you enter!

The Sabbath Part II – Staying Unspotted

(This is Part II of a five part series on The Sabbath)

To Keep Ourselves Unspotted from the World

In President Kimball’s article, he gave several examples of communities which kept the Sabbath, and communities that broke the Sabbath. He spoke of communities where the hay balers stood idle in the field and the businesses were all closed. He spoke of other communities where people were lined up at the theater, or heading off for the hunt on the Sabbath. The Lord expects us to avoid recreation and business transactions on the Sabbath. Elder Perry called these “worldly distractions.”

President Kimball clarified the problem with recreation and business on the Sabbath. “There is no criticism of legitimate recreation—sports, picnics, plays, and motion pictures… But there is a proper time and place for all worthwhile things—a time for work, a time for play,a time for worship.” It is good to have one day where we remove ourselves completely from the world and simply worship. He went on to say, “Sometimes Sabbath observance is characterized as a matter of sacrifice and self-denial, but it is not so. It is merely a matter of shifting times and choosing seasons. There is time enough, particularly in our era of the world’s history, during the six days of the week in which to do our work and play. Much can be done to organize and encourage weekday activities, avoiding the Sabbath.” There is a time and a season for all things, and with careful planning, we can do all our work and play in the other six days of the week, and save the Sabbath for worshipping the Lord. As I have been working on preparing for the Sabbath each Saturday (all the while singing in my head the song “Saturday is a special day, it’s the day we get ready for Sunday.”) I have discovered this counsel from President Kimball to be true.

There is some work that must be done on the Sabbath. People don’t stop getting sick on the Sabbath, no matter how healthy we all try to be (although there are probably people who would go to the hospital on the Sabbath instead of waiting for Monday when they really could wait), people don’t stop breaking the law on the Sabbath, and accidents and tragedies don’t rest on the Sabbath, unfortunately. So there is a place for those jobs that never sleep. However, President Kimball pointed out, “Many industries have processes which, it is said, cannot be interrupted for the Sabbath—in those industries the workers ‘have to work’ on Sunday.This may be true. But ‘necessity is the mother of invention,’ and I have often wondered how long it would take to invent new methods of production, which would not require Sunday work, if everyone in a particular industry simply decided to keep the Sabbath day holy.” There are certainly industries where I think this is true, but there are also industries (such as the ones I mentioned) that truly do have a need on the Sabbath.

There are some “jobs” that we must do on the Sabbath that may actually be good to do on the Sabbath. President Kimball said, “some of the work that is truly necessary—caring for the sick, for example—may actually serve to hallow the Sabbath.” Because caring for the sick, and offering that service to the feeble is something that we may do to keep the Sabbath even if it isn’t our paid job, working that job can be an experience that brings us closer to Heavenly Father, and helps us honor Him. President Kimball, however, cautioned, “in such activities our motives are a most important consideration.”

“When men and women are willing to work on the Sabbath to increase their wealth, they are breaking the commandments.” To me, this would be like a nurse taking on Sunday shifts at the hospital because she wants to earn more money to buy a car or a house. On the other hand, I’ll share an experience my sister had. She works in a hospital lab. She normally works a week day shift, but a few weeks ago, when they were working out the winter holiday schedule at work, a mother who usually works the Sunday shift asked if someone would take her shift on Christmas day (since Christmas day this year is a Sunday). My sister doesn’t have any children of her own, and she offered to take the shift – not because she wants to work on the Sabbath, but because she knew that this woman would be able to spend Christmas (and the Sabbath) with her children if my sister took her shift. My sister was also more than willing to switch a shift with this woman. My sister’s motivations were pure – she wanted her colleague to be able to spend Christmas with her children. Her heart was not set on the extra money she would earn from the shift, but helping the other woman’s family. If we work on the Sabbath, we would be wise to carefully consider our motives, as well as the need – is it really necessary?

Sometimes, even if we do not work on the Sabbath, the ox may fall in the mire, and we are not condemned if we pull out our ox to save it. However, President Kimball pointed out that “no one deliberately puts the ox in the mire every week, or lets him get in the mire with no effort to keep him out.” I like both parts of this – we should not deliberately put the ox in the mire (that is, we shouldn’t try to make there be situations where we must break the Sabbath) and we should try to keep the ox out of the mire. An example of deliberately putting the ox in the mire would be choosing to cook a meal on the Sabbath that requires an ingredient you don’t have, therefore “requiring” that you go to the store to obtain the necessary ingredient. An example of taking no steps to keep the ox out of the mire would be letting your car run empty on Saturday evening and thus you must purchase gas on the Sabbath in order to get to your Church meetings. I think most of us would not deliberately put ourselves in a situation in which we must pull the ox out of the mire, but I know that I have sometimes neglected to take the necessary precautions to keep the ox out of the mire.

Elder Perry also explained that the way we dress on the Sabbath has something to do with keeping ourselves unspotted from the world. “We know that when Sunday dress deteriorates to everyday attire, attitudes and actions follow…by the clothing we encourage [our children] to wear and the activities we plan, we help them prepare for the sacrament and enjoy its blessings throughout the day.” I think this is important. And at the same time, I worry that sometimes the Saints judge each other because of their Sunday dress, perhaps thinking that Sister So-and-so isn’t as righteous because she brings her children to church in sneakers and a t-shirt. The greatest thing I ever learned about the term “Sunday best” is that “best” is relative to the other things in your closet, not the other things in someone else’s closet. The reason I don’t put my children in sneakers for church on Sunday is because I have dress shoes and a suit for my son, and I have nice dresses for my daughter. The reason I don’t wear flip-flops to Church is because I own dress shoes. We should wear our Sunday best, but we should also be careful not to judge others whose Sunday best might be more casual than our Sunday best.

How do you keep yourself and your family “unspotted from the world” on the Sabbath? If you work on the Sabbath, what is your motivation? What steps do you take to keep the ox out of the mire? How do you organize your week so that you can devote the Sabbath to the Lord? What does “Sunday best” mean to you?

Part I            Part III

The Eternal Blessings of Marriage

Remember to enter my 100th blog post Giveaway!

(find the talk here)

I loved Elder Richard G. Scott’s talk when I heard it in Conference, and I have loved it each of the 10+ times I have read or listened to it since. The love that he expresses for his wife was really touching, and made me crave to have that in my own marriage.

“Two of the vital pillars that sustain Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness are marriage and the family.” Marriage and family are under attack by Satan, because he wants to do everything he can to destroy God’s plan for us. We need to fight back with strong, righteous families and rock-solid temple marriages.

I struggle sometimes with the words of the prophets on marriage, because they are usually speaking to the men about how to treat their wives, or to both partners about how to have a strong marriage, but the prophets don’t usually speak about how to be a good wife. I have been married for six years, and I still feel like I’m just doing the best I can, but that I don’t have a clue how to be a good wife.

“Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered.” I am a very stubborn person, so I think that marriage has helped me to become less stubborn. It also helps me to look outside of myself and serve others. I can serve my husband and my children. “I think one of the reasons that we are counseled to get married early in life is to avoid developing inappropriate character traits that are hard to change.” Hopefully by being married early in my life I will be able to avoid developing inappropriate character traits! I feel myself softening as the years go by in my marriage. Marriage is hard, and I can feel my soul stretching and expanding as I try to be a righteous wife and mother. Sometimes the stretching hurts, but I am trying to be open minded and humble. I don’t always succeed (actually, most of the time I am still just stubborn – but I am trying!)

Finally, I want to be more like Elder Scott’s wife who, “in her morning prayer she would ask her Father in Heaven to lead her to someone she could help. That sincere supplication was answered time and again. The burdens of many were eased; their lives were brightened. She was blessed continually for being an instrument directed by the Lord.” Sometimes I feel like I am barely able to keep my own head above water, but I think that as I continue to look outside myself for ways to help God’s children He will give me strength to bear my own infirmities.

What blessings have you received from Eternal Marriage? Do you share sweet messages with your spouse, like Elder Scott described with his wife? Does marriage stretch you? If you are not married, are you actively seeking someone to spend eternity with?

The Sabbath Part I – A Holy Day

(this was going to be one article, but it started getting really long, so I decided to divide it into a five part series. I will be posting one part of the article each week for the next four weeks. I hope it can help someone who is trying to deepen their understand of the Sabbath)

I have been thinking a lot about Sabbath day observance lately, thanks to Elder L. Tom Perry’s General Conference talk at April General Conference

I had already had proper Sabbath day observance on my mind because of a post I read over at LDS Women of God about the Sabbath day.

From the Church website, I read, “Because the Sabbath is a holy day, it should be reserved for worthy and holy activities. Abstaining from work and recreation is not enough. In fact, those who merely lounge about doing nothing on the Sabbath fail to keep the day holy.” This is similar to what Elder Perry mentioned in his talk. It is not enough just to “rest” from our labors. We need to devote the time on the Sabbath to the Lord and His work.

So I decided to do a little more research on LDS.org about the Sabbath, and I found a few really helpful articles. The first was an article by President Spencer W. Kimball, The Sabbath: A Delight which gave a lot of really great insight into the purpose of the Sabbath and what kinds of activities are and aren’t appropriate for the Sabbath. The other was an issue of The New of the Church which outlined the change back in the 80s from the old, spread-throughout-the-week schedule of Church meetings to the current three hour block of Church meetings on Sundays. These two articles together really helped me get a better understanding of the Sabbath, and helped me recommit to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.

President Kimball mentioned that we have “become a world of Sabbath breakers.” He pointed out that while some may think the breaking the Sabbath is not a very serious sin, “to our Heavenly Father it is disobedience to one of the principal commandments.” The commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy has been around since before this world. And when God created the world, He even rested on the seventh day. Moses was given the commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy in the ten commandments on Mount Sinai. The commandment was reiterated in latter day revelation. And yet, so many faithful Latter-day Saints (I say faithful because they are faithful in all other respects – paying full tithes, giving service, etc) break the Sabbath and barely bat an eyelash. President Kimball was concerned that “in their breach of the Sabbath they often take their families with them.”

When the Church switched the Church meeting schedule to the three hour block, about two years after President Kimball’s article, they mentioned that one purpose for the change was to “emphasize home-centered Sabbath activities.” Which leads us to the age-old question: “What activities are appropriate for the Sabbath?” or perhaps, the question many ask, “What can I do on the Sabbath?”

Elder Perry said, “As we consider the pattern of the Sabbath and the sacrament in our own lives, there appear to be three things the Lord requires of us: first, to keep ourselves unspotted from the world; second, to go to the house of prayer and offer up our sacraments; and third, to rest from our labors.”

The articles and talks referenced in this series will be:
The Sabbath and the Sacrament, Elder L. Tom Perry, April 2011 General Conference
The Sabbath – A Delight, President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign January 1978
News of The Church, March 1980
Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament, Elder Dalin H. Oaks, October 2008 General Conference

The parts of this series will be:

Part II – Staying Unspotted: What it means to keep ourselves unspotted from the world
Part III – Offer Up Thy Sacraments: The Sacrament, sacrament meetings, and what it means to offer up sacraments
Part IV – Rest From Our Labors: a discussion about resting on the Sabbath and appropriate Sabbath day “labor”
Part V – Worthy and Holy Activities: a few pointers to help you decide if your Sabbath day activities pass the test

What questions do you have about the Sabbath? Do you feel like your Sabbath day worship is in line with gospel principles? How do you determine if an activity is appropriate for the Sabbath? Do you feel like Sabbath day worship is a chore, or is it a delight for you?

“Opportunities to do Good”

(find the talk here)

I have listened to this talk several times and I always get a little teary-eyed when President Henry B. Eyring talks about the couple who lost their home when the Teton dam broke in Idaho. You’ll have to read the whole talk to find out what happened.

The thing that struck me this time when I read this talk was how timely this talk is (aren’t all the General Conference talks pretty timely?). I think that this talk directly and indirectly addressed some major issues in today’s disaster-ridden world. Natural disasters and financial disasters and political disasters abound in every country. Some of us are asking “Why does God let such bad things happen to His children?” My favorite question to ask is “Why is this happening?” – not in a despairing, or a “questioning” way – but as an  invitation to myself and to Heavenly Father to teach me His will, and to teach me what I need to learn from the situation.

As I attended BYU Campus Education Week recently, I observed that I believe that one of the beautiful effects of agency is that we have the capacity to hurt each other, which gives us the opportunity to learn how to use the atonement both to repent, and to forgive.

The question about natural disasters and other accidents and disasters has led me to believe that God allows bad things to happen so the we have opportunities to do good. If people never lost their homes to floods, earthquakes, fires, and other disasters, we would never have opportunities to shelter the homeless. If there was not drought and famine, we would not have opportunities to feed the hungry. If there were not fires and tornados and hurricanes, we would not have the opportunities we have to clothe the naked.

I believe the God is providing opportunities for us to grow through doing good deeds for each other and taking care of each other. Trials and tribulation are definitely a part of this earthly life – but I think the deeper purpose of those trials and tribulations is to give us opportunities to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:18-19) and “to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.” (Jacob 2:19).

President Eyring pointed out that those who take advantage of the opportunities to do good are “people who out of love have consecrated themselves and what they have to God and to His work.” Something that really stuck out to me in his talk was when he described the Lord’s way of providing these opportunities.

“Because the Lord hears their cries and feels your deep compassion for them, He has from the beginning of time provided ways for His disciples to help. He has invited His children to consecrate their time, their means, and themselves to join with Him in serving others.

“His way of helping has at times been called living the law of consecration.In another period His way was called the united order. In our time it is called the Church welfare program.”

I have always been interested in the law of consecration and the united order, and I often wondered why we do not live the law of consecration in our day. After attending the temple for the first time, I realized that we really do still live in the law of consecration. As President Eyring pointed out, today we call it the “Church welfare program.”

Those who help others have consecrated their lives to building up God’s kingdom on earth – and that means helping those in need. Whenever they need it.

My father used to tell us, “Never deny others the blessings they can receiving from giving (or serving).” His point was that we should let people give us things and serve us, because we would not be the only ones getting blessings – those who served and gave would also be blessed. This has really been significant for me, because I often feel that I am in a “better position” (financially, spiritually, temporally, etc) than those who so often offer to help me. But what I realize my father was trying to teach us was that no matter a person’s position in life, they can always benefit from the blessings the Lord will give them for serving and loving His children.

President Eyring echoed my father’s words when he said, “I have seen the blessings that come to the person in need who receives help and to the person who seizes the opportunity to give it.” Blessings always come to both the giver and the receiver. Later on President Eyring quoted President Marion G. Romney who said, “You cannot give yourself poor in this work.” and President Melvin J. Ballard who said, “A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return.” Both the giver and the receiver area always blessed, and often it is the giver who is blessed more abundantly than the receiver – hence my father’s counsel to never deny those blessing to the person who would serve us.

President Eyring listed four principles that have guided him when he wanted to help in the Lord’s way, and I will simply list them. You can read more about them in his talk.

1. “[A]ll people are happier and feel more self-respect when they can provide for themselves and their family and then reach out to take care of others.”
2. “The power and blessing of unity. When we join hands to serve people in need, the Lord unites our hearts.”
3. “Draw your family into the work with you so that they can learn to care for each other as they care for others.”
4. “[T]he Lord sends the Holy Ghost to make it possible to ‘seek, and ye shall find’ in caring for the poor as He does in finding the truth.”

He then listed three suggestions as you plan to do service

1. “Prepare yourself and those you lead spiritually.”
2. “Choose as recipients of your service people within the kingdom or in the community whose needs will touch the hearts of those who will give the service.”
3. “Draw on the power of the bongs of families, quorums, of auxiliary organizations, and of people you know in your communities. The feelings of unity will multiply the good effects of the service you give.”

I hope that I can put President Eyring’s counsel to work in my life as I consecrate my life to the kingdom and look for those whose lives I can touch through meaningful service.

How do you find and take advantage of “opportunities to do good”? Have you found the principles President Eyring discussed to be true as you have served others? Do you deny others the blessings of giving service when they would serve you? Or do you welcome offers of service, knowing that the giver often receives more than the recipient of the service?

Find more great comments on President Eyring’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity: