Patriarchal Order

(Note: these are mostly my raw notes from a class I attended at BYU Education Week. I haven’t included much of my own insights and feelings, so feel free to chime in with some of your own observations, and quotes, etc from other sources I haven’t mentioned)

(EDIT 1/20/2013: A fellow blogger, Heather @ Women in the Scriptures recently posted an excellent piece about what it means to "preside" which I think goes hand in hand with the ideas in this post, and would be an excellent read if you are looking for more of what that means: find the post here

The priesthood structure in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is patriarchal. That is exactly what it is, and it is designed to be that way by God. But what that means is sometimes confusing, and leads a lot of men (and women) to think that men are somehow superior to, more important than, or the “ruler” of some kind – basically that men should lead and women should follow. This understanding is an inaccurate understanding of what patriarchal order means in the Church.

Last summer I attended BYU Education Week and attended a class about the patriarchal order and leadership in marriage. I haven’t typed up my notes for the blog yet, and I figured I should since I learned a lot of good things.

The instructor talked about three doctrines involved in the understanding of patriarchal order. We talked a little bit about other doctrines that have to be taken together to get the whole picture – for example, grace and works, justice and mercy, etc. If you look at only one of the doctrines, then you miss the picture and you get an incomplete understand of the full doctrine.

In order to understand the patriarchal order in the Church, we have to look at three doctrines:

1.) Men Preside
2.) Men and Women are Absolute Equals
3.) Gospel Leadership Means Service

Men Preside

The first doctrine, “Men Preside” at first sounds like men are in some way above women. The Merriam-Webster definition of preside states “to exercise guidance, direction, or control.” I think the first two are the most suitable in this situation – that a father presides to exercise guidance and direction, not necessarily control. The definition also includes “to occupy the place of authority.”

Elder Deal L. Larsen said, “In the Lord’s system of government, every organization unit must have a presiding officer. He has decreed that in the family organization the father assumes this role. He bears the priesthood ordination. He is accountable before the Lord for this leadership.”

Our instructor also mentioned that the patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose. We may not know exactly what that is in this life. We may know ever really know why men preside and not women, but we know that’s the way the Lord has instructed us to do it, and I do not think that it takes something away from women to not preside. I think it’s more about order.

Some responsibilities associated with presiding are
- lead with love, gentleness, and kindness
- preside at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening
- teach correct principles
- give father’s blessings
- conduct father’s interviews
- participate in children’s discipline
- sacrifice for the well being of the family
- set a good example
- live a family centered life

I don’t see anything in this list that would suggest that a man is “above” a woman in presiding. It is simply the order of things. And just because something is in this list does not mean that women cannot also do it. Even presiding at family prayer, family meals, and family home evening – at times a mother may preside in these instances.

Presiding implies taking initiative. The husband, in presiding, initiates gospel living in the home. He should not be the one dragged along by his wife or children.

Satan takes a lot of divine things and twists them around. He takes things that are sacred and beautiful and makes them profane and obscene. He has done the same thing with the patriarchal order and convinced men (and women) that since a man presides over his family that somehow means that he is more important than his wife, or he has the final say, or his wife’s input is not as important.

If we look only at the doctrine that men preside, our doctrine certainly appears chauvinistic and oppressive. We can’t stop here, we have to look at the other very important doctrines.

Men and Women are Absolute Equals

The second doctrine in the patriarchal order is “Men and Women are Absolute Equals”.

Elder L. Tom Perry said,

Remember, brethren, that in your role as leader in the family, your wife is your companion. As President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.”  Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity. Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.

While the husband may preside spiritually over the family (which really just means that he has a responsibility to guide and direct his family – basically show his family how to live the gospel and how to return to Heavenly Father), the wife stands by his side at the head of the family. She is not like the husband’s child. She is to stand with him, united “as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit.”

We talked about a few different kinds of “leaders” in a family.

The Dictator – there are actually two different types of dictators. There is a tyrant, who terrorizes his wife into doing what he wants her to do. “You will do this.” And then there is what our teacher called the “benevolent dictator”. This is the man who comes to his wife when it is time to make a decision on something, such as buying a new car, and says “Honey, what kind of car do you think we should buy?”, listens politely, and then goes out and buys whatever he wants to buy.

Reluctant Leader – this is the man who doesn’t really want to lead a family. He would rather let his wife take care of everything while he goes out to play (or stays in to play, as the case may be). The wife has to step up and lead the family because her husband won’t.

Figurehead – this is the leader who gets pushed out of the way by her wife. He appears to be the leader in the family, but the wife takes everything over without even consulting him (this, I might add, would be when the wife is the dictator). This man may want to be the leader in the home, and when questioned the wife may actually say he is the leader, but in reality she does it all. A lot of times this comes because the wife has an attitude of “I can do it better than you” rather than letting the husband lead the way he knows how, and encouraging him. In Father, Consider Your Ways, the twelve apostles counseled husbands (and wives) that fatherhood and the associated leadership “is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of law and [divine] appointment.” I think a lot of women might do well to remember that. It’s not about our husband’s being the best at being a husband or father, it’s about them being called. Just like it’s not about the Relief Society President being the best for the job – it’s about the Bishop having called her to be the president, and us sustaining her in that calling.

But none of these types of leaders are in harmony with gospel doctrine. The doctrine says that we should be equal partners. So what does that look like?

Equal Partners – both partners have veto power. Decisions are unanimous. If husband and wife don’t both agree, then the issue is tabled until they can agree. Honestly this is hard because sometimes it means that nothing gets done. Look at the United States Congress – and they don’t even have to have a unanimous vote! But that doesn’t change the fact that in order to be equal partners you must both agree. And sometimes that involved compromise (which is not a bad thing). Marion G. Romney reminded us that “Neither [husband nor wife] should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together.”

Another example our instructor used was that of two signatures on a check. Every decision requires two signatures – the husband’s, and the wife’s. He also mentioned that this is how the quorum of the twelve apostles works – all decisions have to be unanimous before the decision is official.

Gospel Leadership Means Service

The third doctrine we have to consider is that “Gospel Leadership Means Service”. “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” Christ presides over His Church this way – as our servant. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught us that we should be a “leader-servant”. The question a gospel leader should ask is “How can I help?” rather than “How can I help myself?” The father, as the leader of the family, is this “leader-servant”.

It’s almost important to remember that the presiding done by a father in the home is a spiritual leadership, rather than a governmental or political leadership. That is what Elder Perry meant when he said there is no “president” in the family. There is a man who is a spiritual leader, which means he is a “leader-servant”.

Joseph F. Smith taught men how to treat their wives, “Parents … should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children.”

President Boyd K. Packer also taught men about serving their wives and children.

It was not meant that the woman alone accommodate herself to the priesthood duties of her husband or her sons. She is of course to sustain and support and encourage them.

Holders of the priesthood, in turn, must accommodate themselves to the needs and responsibilities of the wife and mother. Her physical and emotional and intellectual and cultural well-being and her spiritual development must stand first among his priesthood duties.

There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not his equal obligation. The tasks which come with parenthood, which many consider to be below other tasks, are simply above them.

Those outside the Church think that ordination to the Priesthood means “power” in the worldly sense. The true meaning of the Priesthood in the Church means service and protection. President David O. McKay described Priesthood power like the power of a reservoir of water,

We can conceive of the power of the priesthood as being potentially existent as an impounded reservoir of water. Such power becomes dynamic and productive of good only when the liberated force becomes active in valleys, fields, gardens, and happy homes. So the priesthood, as related to humanity, is a principle of power only as it becomes active in the lives of men, turning their hearts and desires toward God and prompting service to their fellowmen.

…I say that because the priesthood you hold means that you are to serve others.

The Priesthood has no power until it is used to serve others.

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How have you seen the principle of patriarchal leadership twisted by Satan? What blessings come to families when patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly, when husbands and father are servant-leaders and equal partners with their wives? Do you feel like patriarchal leadership is practiced correctly in your home? In your ward?

A Lion Among the Beasts

As you may know, I tried to finish the Book of Mormon before the end of 2011 and it didn’t happen, and so now I am trying to finish it by the end of the week. (as of Wednesday I have about 80 pages to go!)

My husband told me that I will probably have to do a less thorough reading to get through it in that time, but I was sure I would be able to get through it quickly while still studying and gleaning.

Then I hit 3 Nephi 20. You think 2 Nephi is hard, try reading 3 Nephi 20. I kept reading, even though I didn’t really understand what the Savior was talking about, and about a page and a half into chapter 20 I decided that I really needed to understand what was going on here.

I went back to verse 10, when the Savior starts talking about the remnant of Israel. I read it over and over again and I still couldn’t figure it out. I was a little unnerved that I couldn’t understand this passage, and so I finally prayed for Heavenly Father to open my mind and my hearts (“and their hearts were open and they did understand in their hearts the words which [Christ] prayed” – 3 Nephi 19:33).

And then I went back and read it again.

“Behold now I finish the commandment which the Father hath commanded me concerning this people, who are a remnant of the house of Israel.”

Great. I’ve got this – the Nephites are a remnant of the house of Israel, and Christ had to come to the Nephites, because that was part of God’s plan. That’s all stuff I knew from seminary.

“Ye remember that I spake unto you, and said that when the words of Isaiah should be fulfilled – behold they are written, ye have them before you, therefore search them – And verily, verily, I say unto you, that when they shall be fulfilled then is the fulfilling of the covenant which the Father hath made unto his people, O house of Israel.”

I had to stop here for a second and ask myself, “What words of Isaiah is the Savior talking about? Obviously not all of them, since there are some words that haven’t been fulfilled yet. And what covenant is He talking about?” The covenant God made with Israel was that Christ would come to them, and that He would gather His people. Also, that when Christ would come, the Mosaic law (which was part of the original covenant with Israel) would be fulfilled.

“And then shall the remnants, which shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the earth, be gathered in from the east and from the west, and from the south and from the north; and they shall be brought to the knowledge of the Lord their God, who hath redeemed them.”

The first line of this verse caught me off guard for a minute - “the remnants, which shall be scattered” – but I thought the House of Israel had already been scattered? And then I realized that he was talking about scattering the remnants of the House of Israel – the Nephites/Lamanites. We can see the “scattering” of the Nephites and Lamanites all over the American continents today.

Then the Savior must be talking about more of the words of Isaiah than just the Messianic prophecies. And the covenant He is talking about here must be the covenant to gather Israel.

Much clearer now (Note to self: praying before reading complex scripture passages is a great idea)

“And the Father hath commanded me that I should give unto you this land, for your inheritance.”

Also a well-known fact – America is the “promised land”.

“And I say unto you, that if the Gentiles do not repent after the blessing which they shall receive, after they have scattered my people –”

Here I am pretty sure the Savior is getting ready to talk about what will happen if the Gentiles don’t accept the gospel after they scatter the Nephites and the Lamanites and are given the promised land – remember, the Gentiles were given America as well to restore the gospel, because of the wickedness and eventual apostasy of the Nephites.

“Then shall ye, who are a remnant of the house of Jacob, go forth among them; and ye shall be in the midst of them who shall be many; and ye shall be among them as a lion among the beasts of the forest, and as a young lion among the flocks of sheep, who, if he goeth through both treadeth down and teareth in pieces, and none can deliver. Thy hand shall be lifted up upon thing adversaries, and all thine enemies shall be cut off.”

This is where I got stuck again. My first thought was that if the Gentiles reject the gospel, the Lord will allow the remnant of the Lamanites (the native people of the Americas) to destroy the Gentiles. *(see note at bottom of post)

(Image Source: Animal Planet)

Because I don’t like to speculate, I pulled out my old Book of Mormon seminary manual to see if there was anything in there. Nope. Just the “gathering of Israel” part. I even checked out this commentary video on BYUtv about it, but they did the same thing – talked about how important the words of Isaiah are, and about the gathering of Israel.

No one seemed to mention these verses, so I headed to Google (which I only use as a last resort when it comes to gospel study – I don’t like to find a bunch of stuff written by crazy people…)

I came across this blog, Feast Upon the Word, and discovered a series of posts discussing just this topic! The author is … very educated, it seems, and the posts are not for the faint at heart (I had to move to my desktop computer to read them, instead of my phone – it was really that intense – and I had to actually look up a few words he used online. And I consider myself pretty well educated with a decent size vocabulary).

I have a feeling that in order to really understand this part of 3 Nephi I am going to have to dedicate some time to studying Isaiah 52 and Micah 4-5, so I probably will just “skim” through these chapters and pick out what I can for now while I am trying to finish the Book of Mormon.

I am excited to study these passages in more depth, and hope to do so in the next few weeks!

*Turns out this passage is simply talking about the power of the House of Israel during the gathering of Israel to teach the gospel to the Gentiles and purify them. The Gentiles who won’t accept the gospel will be cut off from Heavenly Father.

Have you ever been absolutely stumped by a passage of scripture? Have you prayed to be able to understand the scriptures better? Where do you look for help understanding passages that stump you? Do you have thoughts on these passages in 3 Nephi?

Exactly One Line

(find the talk here – The Book of Mormon – A Book from God)

You may not know this about me, but a few years ago I finished my bachelors degree in Mathematics with a minor in Physics from Brigham Young University. I love math. I even love geometry. I didn’t at first, but the more I studied physics, the more I realized I loved geometry.

One of the basic postulates of geometry is that through any two points there is exactly one line. When I heard this postulate spoken of in General Conference by Elder Tad R. Callister I almost cheered! I love when the General Authorities talk about math and science concepts in Conference. I feel that there is something really divine about math and science.

But I digress.

The Book of Mormon. Elder Callister says that with it there is no middle ground, “It is either the word of God as professed, or it is a total fraud.” From a logical viewpoint, this makes sense. It can’t just be a “good book,” since it talks about the atonement of Jesus Christ and professes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God it either has to be from the devil or from God – because you can’t just write an untrue book about Jesus Christ without it being false. So either Joseph Smith received gold plates from an angel and translated them by the power of God as he said he did, or he was possessed by the devil and conjured up this book.

Elder Callister compared it to C. S. Lewis’ argument of why a person must either accept or reject the divinity of Jesus Christ – not merely think of him as a “good person” or a “prophet.” Said C. S. Lewis,

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. …You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God:or else a madman or something worse. … But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

I love C. S. Lewis. I enjoy a little bit of logic when it comes to the gospel – even though the ultimate test of truth comes through the Holy Ghost.

Back to the geometry lesson -  Elder Callister described why we need both the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

The principles of geometry state that there are an infinite number of lines that can be draw through one point. In every direction – not just the lines we can think of on a plane, but an entire space. Lines going everywhere! Who wouldn’t be confused with all those possibilities?

But add just one more point, and suddenly you have only one possibility – through any two points there is exactly one line. There are absolutely no other possibilities.

When you think of it that way, it is easy to see why there is only one true Church of Jesus Christ, and why that Church is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. The doctrine of the Church is based on the Bible and the Book of Mormon, together as testaments of Jesus Christ. As Elder Callister puts it, “Only one interpretation of Christ’s doctrines survives the testimony of these two witnesses.”

In his talk, Elder Callister described several instances where the Book of Mormon clarifies doctrine put forth in the Bible, but says, “none is more powerful nor poignant than the Book of Mormon’s discourses on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” I love reading about the Savior, both in the gospels, and in the epistles of Paul in which he teaches people about the Savior. I love reading the words of Isaiah, which are rich in prophesies of the Savior. But by far my favorite place to read about the Savior and His mission is in the Book of Mormon. Some of my favorite passages are Mosiah chapter 4 and Alma chapter 42 – although nearly every page is full of testimonies of the Savior and His mission and atonement. There is something about reading the Book of Mormon that seems to pull me toward the Savior. My thoughts are turned to the Savior more often, my life is more in line with the teachings of the Savior, and my testimony of His divinity and atonement is strengthened.

In the Book of Mormon, Moroni teaches, “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.” Which is exactly what the Savior taught when He said, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every … house divided against itself shall not stand. And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?” So, the Savior himself taught that if anything persuades people to believe in Him, it must be of God – because Satan cannot persuade people to believe in Christ, otherwise he would be divided against himself.

The Book of Mormon draws me closer to Christ almost involuntarily – without even trying, it pulls me to the Savior with an indescribable force. Then, as the Savior himself taught, it must be of God.

To any who have not read the Book of Mormon and think they know whether the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true Church of Christ, I tell you that you cannot know if it is true if you do not know whether or not the Book of Mormon is true. Elder Callister testified, “An honest, unbiased reading of the Book of Mormon will bring someone to the same conclusion as my great-great-grandfather, namely: ‘The devil could not have written it—it must be from God.’”

And as the 14 year old girl testified, “I have read every page of the Book of Mormon and I know it’s true.”

I, too, have read every page of the Book of Mormon, and I know it is of God. Every page draws me close to the Savior and testifies of Him. How grateful I am for its power and its truths.

How do you know the Book of Mormon is true? Have you experienced “an honest, unbiased reading of the Book of Mormon”? Do you judge the truthfulness of the Church without having read that book?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

Becoming a False Prophet

I was reading a post over on How to Be Superwoman about Personal Revelation, and I skimmed over an article she linked to that one of her readers had sent to her. The article was basically arguing that there is no such thing as personal revelation (or “personal words from God” – his words) because we can’t always be 100% accurate 100% of the time, and a prophet has to be 100% accurate 100% of the time.

I think the author of the article made a really good point. I don’t mean to say I agree that there is no personal revelation – of course I believe there is – however, I still think he brought up some valid concerns about personal revelation.

People who believe in personal revelation (especially us Mormons, since we rely so heavily on it) can be very susceptible to become false prophets to ourselves.

How do we avoid become false prophets to ourselves? Here is the (edited) comment I wrote on Amy’s blog. It is mostly my testimony of personal revelation, and maybe some of the scriptures or points I brought up will help us understand and discern between true personal revelation from God, and what we think is from God, but is not.

The Bible tells us to ask God "Ask, and ye shall receive... knock and it shall be opened unto you." (Luke 11:9, Matt 7:7) "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." (James 1:5) I can tell you right now, I lack wisdom on just about every topic in my life. Especially as a mother. I have no clue what I'm doing - so I ask God, and He helps me. I am so grateful for that knowledge that God will answer my prayers.

I have asked, and I have received answers to many questions - including whether or not the Bible is true, whether or not the Book of Mormon is true, and most importantly, if Christ is my Savior. He is.

Paul said, "for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." So if we have a testimony of Jesus, we have the spirit of prophecy (when we are testifying of Christ).

I would also add that I do not believe I (or anyone) will ever receive revelation from God that will be contrary to His word in scripture and from His prophets. (i.e., the person receiving "revelation" that he should not marry - that isn't from God, IMO). The scriptures make a really good measuring stick for what is revelation from God, and what is not. The Book of Mormon says, "all things which are good cometh of God...(see James 1:17 & 1 John 4:1-6) that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve Him, is inspired of God... for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." Moroni 7:12-13,16

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit... Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." (Matt 7:15-20)

I think that the author of the article makes a good point that people can become false prophets to themselves, and quite possibly to others. I see it all the time both in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and out of the Church. You have to be very cautious with personal revelation. It is very easy to become a false prophet if you aren't careful. But I think the author throws the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. If we don't have any revelation, how are we to know anything? How do you know the Bible is true? How do you know Christ is your Savior? If you know these things, how did you come to a knowledge of them? Or are you simply just hoping they are true?

Or did you get that knowledge from God? (knowledge from God = revelation)

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that the fullness of that gospel is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that God loves me and that He speaks to me.

Maybe God doesn't speak to me in a burning bush, but He does speak to me through a burning in my heart. And I am grateful for it.

How do you recognize when personal revelation is from God? How do you avoid becoming a false prophet to yourself? Have you ever had what you thought was a prompting from God, only to realize, upon further inspection, that it was indeed not from God?

Mysteries of Heaven

I started reading this morning in Matthew chapter 13, but instead of reading straight through I decided I want to study each parable a little more in depth. Before studying the parables, though, I want to study parables in general.

Whenever I read parables, or read about parables, I am reminded of my days in high school English classes, reading great literature and writing papers about what the author was actually saying. I remember getting annoyed at this once my junior year of high school. In fact, I wrote a poem, trying to make it sound all allegorical, when in reality I was just writing about the topic at hand. I remember having my English teacher read it and tell me what He thought it was about. I don’t think he fell for my little trick, but I do know that my attitude about analyzing literature got a lot better my senior year. I was really good at it, after all. I got to the point where I actually enjoyed reading literature and analyzing it.

I didn’t realize how perfectly that skill would translate into my gospel study until I got to Brigham Young University and took my first Book of Mormon class. My professor was not a religion professor – he was a Mechanical Engineering professor, and his class was probably one of the best religion classes I took my entire time at BYU. He really taught me how to study the scriptures. In his class, we had one assignment each day. We were to read an assigned section of the Book of Mormon, and then write a one page paper (didn’t matter what font size, margins, spacing, etc – whatever got our thoughts to fit on one sheet of paper, and take up the whole paper) asking a question about what we read, and answering it. Our midterm was a paper on the words of Isaiah, and our final was a paper about our own personal testimony. I learned so much about studying the gospel from following that pattern – ask a question, then find the answer.

Another thing I learned in high school (from a seminary teacher? from a Young Women’s leader? a Sunday School teacher? my parents? not sure…) was that truth can be found anywhere, and that the Spirit will help us discern truth. It was during high school that I started seeking for truth in all of my studies. As I would read textbooks and other reading assignments, as I would listen to my teacher’s lectures, I would carefully listen to the Spirit to discern what was true, and what was simple man’s philosophies. It wasn’t always easy, and I am sure that I wasn’t always accurate, but developing that ability to find truth in all things has been a real blessing in my life.

Between these two skills – being able to ask questions and find answers, and being able to find truth in all things – I have felt my study of the gospel has been greatly enriched.

One of the places I feel I have really been able to apply these two skills are in studying the words of Isaiah, and in studying parables.”

The word parable means “setting side by side, a comparison”. In a parable, gospel principles and doctrine are described by ordinary things – things in every day life. The Lord often taught this way (in parables) – and more so during his Galilean ministry. This is not really surprising, since the Savior was a Galilean, and His teaching was a lot harder to stomach by people who knew Him, and knew His family. Such an “ordinary” person could not be the Savior. Could he?

Why did the Savior teach in parables? He tells us in Matthew 13. “Because it is given unto you [the disciples] to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them [people who don’t believe Christ] it is not given.” We get as much truth from parables as we are ready to receive. I feel like we get as much truth out of life as we are ready to receive. My husband and I were recently talking about finding meaning in everything, and one of us made the observation that life must be more worth living if you can find meaning in everything. I think that is a true statement – because the more truth we are willing to see, the more truth we will find, and the more truth we have (light and knowledge) the closer to Heavenly Father we can be.

Do you find meaning in parables and the words of Isaiah? Are you able to find truth and meaning in everything? What is your favorite parable from the Savior? What is your favorite Latter-day parable?

Sweet Testimony

“… inasmuch as parents have children in Zion… that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.”
                                                                Doctrine & Covenants 68:25

The first Sunday of each month is what members of the Church call “Fast Sunday”. It is a day that we all fast (abstain from eating or drinking for twenty-four hours) and during our worship services, rather than have sermons or talks, we have the opportunity to share our testimonies with each other, when moved upon by the Spirit. We then donate the money that we would have used to feed our family to the Church to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and shelter the homeless.

In September, Fast Sunday was the first Sunday we had in our new ward. We had been attending a Portuguese ward, but in September we started attending our neighborhood, English speaking ward.

We were sitting with our friend who is living with us and her two boys who are eight and seven. They wanted to bear their testimonies, so Russ (my husband) went up with them. Then our four-year-old wanted to bear his testimony. Usually a four year old needs a little help with his testimony, but V? Nope. He went right on up there, didn’t even want my help, and proceeded to say things like “I know Jesus loves me and love all the people.” (all the people = everyone… our son says the funniest things) – I had him tell me what he was going to say before he went up there, just to make sure he wasn’t going to be a goof ball at the pulpit. I completely underestimated him.

Don’t think my kid just spontaneously bears his testimony. We had practiced bearing our testimonies at family home evening one week. That particular family home evening we “practiced” going to Church. We set up the chairs in the living room, made a pulpit out of one of our bar stools and some cardboard, put the hymn numbers up on the wall, had our scriptures and crayons and we even made a pretend sacrament table out of the piano bench. We sang the songs in order, had opening prayers, had announcements, had “ward business” and then had a testimony meeting. We didn’t actually bless and pass the sacrament – instead when it got to the sacrament portion of the meeting we simply talked about the importance of the priesthood and the sacrament ordinance, what it means, what we should be thinking about, and we practiced being reverent. The kids did surprisingly well, and it was all in all a great family home evening that I think we will duplicate many times over the course of our children’s growing-up years.

We talk about the gospel doctrines daily in our home. They are a part of our every day conversation. This openness about the gospel is what helps our children learn about the doctrines of the gospel, and since we simply let it be part of our lives instead of something we “teach” our children about formally, I think that our children are developing a love for the scriptures and for the gospel.

Our four year old has his own testimony and isn’t afraid to share it. What an example to me!

How do you teach your children the gospel? How do you teach your children to share their testimonies? Do you encourage your children to talk about the gospel? Do they encourage you? Is gospel conversation an every day part of your home?

“To This End Was I Born”

(find the lesson here)

And here I thought writing about Gethsemane was going to be hard. This week’s lesson is on the crucifixion, and I’m sure I will do it even less justice than I did the first part of the atonement. But I do have a testimony of Christ’s atonement, so I will share what I have learned and what stood out to me, and then just bear my simple testimony – since that is just about all I can do.

I pointed this out last week, but I think it is important enough to point out again. Jesus Christ’s life was not taken, and the sins of the world were not put upon him. He, of Himself, took upon himself the sins of the world, and He, of Himself, gave His life. At any time during the life of Christ He could have stopped what was happening. He could have ascended into Heaven. He had the power to stop the Jews from taking Him. He had the power to save Himself from the cross. And yet, He didn’t. He gave His life for us.

In the Garden, when Peter wanted to fight the men who came to take the Savior, Christ said to Peter, “Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” (here) Christ knew what had to be done, and He was willing. “Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?” The Savior testified of His own power by reminding Peter that He could save Himself if He wanted to. Jesus didn’t need Peter to fight for His life – for He was willing to give it.

When the Savior asked the priests what they wanted of Him, He asked them why they never took Him when He had been teaching in the temples. He reminded them that “in secret have I said nothing.” Christ was not trying to be sneaky. He wanted the whole world, and all the Jews, to hear His message and accept Him as Christ. He had been very visible.

When the Savior was taken from the garden of Gethsemane, His disciples “forsook him, and fled” – all but Peter and John who stayed with Him as the priests took Him to trial. Later, Peter denied Christ three times, which Christ had prophesied would happen. Because I can’t say it any better the President Hinckley did, and because I completely agree with President Hinckley, I will just include this quote from him:

“My heart goes out to Peter. So many of us are so much like him. We pledge our loyalty; we affirm our determination to be of good courage; we declare, sometimes even publicly, that come what may we will do the right thing, that we will stand for the right cause, that we will be true to ourselves and to others.

“Then the pressures begin to build. Sometimes these are social pressures. Sometimes they are personal appetites. Sometimes they are false ambitions. There is a weakening of the will. There is a softening of discipline. There is capitulation. And then there is remorse, followed by self-accusation and bitter tears of regret. …

“… If there be those throughout the Church who by word or act have denied the faith, I pray that you may draw comfort and resolution from the example of Peter, who, though he had walked daily with Jesus, in an hour of extremity momentarily denied the Lord and also the testimony which he carried in his own heart. But he rose above this and became a mighty defender and a powerful advocate. So, too, there is a way for any person to turn about and add his or her strength and faith to the strength and faith of others in building the kingdom of God” (“And Peter Went Out and Wept Bitterly,” Ensign, Mar. 1995, 2–4, 6).

Peter didn’t deny Christ and then run away. Peter denied Christ in a moment of extreme emotional and spiritual turmoil – for all of the disciples. But later, Peter repented and continued to defend Christ until his death. The key here is that he repented and so can we, because life is hard, and we won’t be perfect, even though we want to be. Which is why Christ atoned for us and was crucified for us – so that we can be perfect, because we can’t do it alone.

I discovered something interesting in the scriptures about Pilate. When Jesus was brought to Pilate, Pilate knew that the Jews “for envy they had delivered him.” (here) So Pilate knew that the Jews were just being ridiculous and that they didn’t really have anything to charge Jesus with. That was why Pilate suggested that the Jews release Barabbas. Because Barabbas was such a vile murderer, Pilate was sure the Jews would rather have Jesus back than Barabbas. But the Jews chose Barabbas.

I know that the Savior lived for us, that He died for us, and that He was resurrected – all so that we can live with Him and with our Father forever. I know that as we study His life and His teachings and His words that we will grow closer to Him and that we will be able to understand the atonement so that we can apply it in our lives.

I am forever grateful that the Lord laid down His life for us. That He gave up His life to save us.

“Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done”

(find the lesson here)

“We cannot of ourselves,
no matter how we may try,
rid ourselves of the stain which is upon us
as a result of our own transgressions.”
(Marion G. Romney)

This is kind of an intimidating post to write – and part II of this lesson (the Crucifixion) will be next week. The atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is so sacred, so important, and so meaningful that I feel like I cannot do justice writing about it. I don’t even feel like I completely understand His atonement, but I am learning more about it each time I study the scriptures, study the account of His atonement, and listen to the words and testimonies of our living prophets – and of my friends and acquaintances in the gospel.

There are three important blessings that we receive because of the atonement of the savior. They are peace, forgiveness, and eternal life. Sometimes I forget that the atonement can give me all three things. I think most of us agree that the atonement can give us eternal life in the physical sense. We usually have no doubt in our minds that we will all be resurrected. It’s a pretty straightforward concept, and a blessing that we all receive unconditionally, due to the Savior’s atoning sacrifice. And I think that maybe most of us are pretty solid in our testimony that through the atonement we can be forgiven for our sins (although sometimes we have serious misconceptions about that, too – which I’ll get to later). The concept I struggle with the most is remembering that the atonement can give us peace – even, and especially, when we are suffering due to either this natural world, or the sins of others.

There were a few things that stuck out to me as I read the three accounts of the Savior’s atonement in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. In Matthew and Mark, the Savior is recorded as saying “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death.” In Luke’s gospel, he leaves that part out, but includes an account of an angel with Christ “strengthening him.” Another thing that Luke included in his account was the Christ was “wont” to visit the garden of Gethsemane. (wont = accustomed). It makes me wonder if the Savior was on the look out for the perfect place to atone for the sins of the world. Like Joseph, who prayed in the private grove of trees, I wonder if the Savior had noticed that this particular garden was relatively quiet and few people ever went there. Maybe a disciple owned the garden, and had told the Savior that if He ever needed a quiet place to go and pray, He was welcome to use His friend’s garden. The fact that the Savior was accustomed to being in Gethsemane makes the atonement seem very thoughtful. He didn’t just stop one day and take upon Himself the sins of the world. He had been thinking about it, probably since He was a child and was “about [His] father’s business.” I wonder how many times  He had prayed previously in Gethsemane, perhaps asking the Father to give Him strength, so that when the time came, He could do what was necessary to save the world. 

Image source.

The Savior Took Upon Himself The Sins of the World

I think that it is especially important to remember that the Savior voluntarily took upon himself “suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind;” (Alma 7:11). No one made Him do it. No one took the Savior’s life. And no one put the sins of the world on His shoulders. The scriptures usually say that He “took upon himself” the sins, afflictions, and infirmities of the world. He took all the suffering and put it on himself.

And it was painful. Very painful. “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18) The pain and suffering the Savior endured in the garden was so painful that even He, the Son of God asked God the Father to remove the cup from Him. But even as He said it, He knew it had to be done, and so He said “Not my will, but thine, be done.”

Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. (Doctrine and Covenants 19:19)

We Need the Atonement

As soon as Adam and Eve fell from the garden, we needed the atonement. Our bodies and this world are in a fallen state, and the only thing that can return them to their perfect state is the sacrifice of the Savior. When we sin, we move ourselves even farther from Heavenly Father, and nothing can return us except the Savior’s atonement.

My favorite talk ever is The Mediator, which was given in a Conference address many years ago by Elder Boyd K. Packer. I have included the video on this post so you can watch it. I can never get through it without bawling my eyes out – especially when Elder Packer starts talking about mercy and justice.

Mercy and justice are the two main reason we need the Savior’s atonement. Because I think that Alma says it best, I will include mostly what he says in Alma chapter 42. When Adam and Even fell from the garden, they became mortal so that “there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God.” If Adam and Eve and been allowed to stay in the Garden of Eden after they had transgressed and partaken of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they would not have been able to repent for their transgression and they would have lived forever in their sin, which means that they would not have been able to live in the presence of God. “But behold, it was appointed unto man to die—therefore, as they were cut off from the tree of life they should be cut off from the face of the earth—and man became lost forever, yea, they became fallen man. And now, ye see by this that our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will.” Because our souls do not die (not in the same sense as our bodies die – our souls never end), the fall of Adam and Eve brought a kind of death to our souls – the inability to be in the presence of our Father. When we talk about spiritual death, that is what we mean – not being in the presence of the Father – because our spirit don’t actually die.

So now we have mortal men, who are in a state of spiritual death, and who will eventually experience a physical death. If the world had been left that way, God would have lost everything – His children and His world. And there would have been no way for His children to come back to Him again.

“Therefore, according to justice, the plan of redemption could not be brought about, only on conditions of repentance of men in this probationary state, yea, this preparatory state; for except it were for these conditions, mercy could not take effect except it should destroy the work of justice. Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God. And thus we see that all mankind were fallen, and they were in the grasp of justice; yea, the justice of God, which consigned them forever to be cut off from his presence.” It is important to note that it was the justice of God which cut us off from His presence. God follows laws – He has to adhere to justice. He cannot make His own arbitrary rules about justice. And so, in order to adhere to justice and save His children, “God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also.”

And now, for my favorite verses of scripture of almost all time (this combined with Mosiah 4 would probably do it for me):

“But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.

“But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.

“For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.

“What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit.” (Alma 42:22-25)

Before you watch this video, I want you to read what Elder Packer said before he began his talk (from which this video was made). Read the words carefully, and take this video seriously.

“What I shall say I could say much better if we were alone, just the two of us. It would be easier also if we had come to know one another, and had that kind of trust which makes it possible to talk of serious, even sacred things.

“If we were that close, because of the nature of what I shall say, I would study you carefully as I spoke. If there should be the slightest disinterest or distraction, the subject would quickly be changed to more ordinary things.”

I have a testimony of the Savior’s atonement. I am amazed at how intricate and thought out and thorough the whole plan of salvation is. I am grateful for a perfect, just God who also found a way to be a merciful God. I know that the Savior took upon himself the sins and suffering of the world, and I know that through the atonement we can find peace, forgiveness, and eternal life.

Please share your thoughts and testimony about the Savior’s atonement with me.

New Testament Lesson 17: “What Shall I do?”

The Young Rich Ruler and the Widow’s Mite

A young rich man came to Christ asking what he should do to obtain eternal life.

At first, Christ told the young man to keep the commandments. After the young man professed his obedience to the commandments, Christ told the young man that he needed to sell everything he had, give it to the poor, and follow Christ. They young man was unwilling to do this because “he had great possessions.” The Lord probably instructed this young man to give up his riches because He knew that the young man had set his heart on his riches – that the young man loved his riches more than he loved the Lord.

For us, perhaps it is not a love of worldly possessions that is keeping us from eternal life. Perhaps it is a love of TV shows, a love of good food, or a love of social media. These things in an of themselves are not particularly negative, but when we are unwilling to give them up (“I can’t go to my Relief Society meeting – I have to watch    (insert TV show)  “ or “I can’t fast today, my friend/family/neighbor is cooking the best Barbeque today!” or “I have to check my Facebook/Twitter/blogs on my smartphone during sacrament meeting – I’ll miss something important if I put it away!”, I’m sure you can think of some other examples) When we are willing to “give away all our sins to know [Him]” we are also willing to give away all worldly things to know Him, and only then will we qualify for eternal life.

In Mark 10, Christ mentions that it is hard for people “who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God.” It wasn’t that this young man had riches. It was that the young man loved his riches more than He loved God.

After this experience with the young rich ruler, Christ witnessed the widow who cast in her two mites at the temple.

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called  his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all  did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, all her living. (Mark 12:41-44)

The poor widow was willing to give all she had to the kingdom of God. This is a stark contrast to the rich young ruler who loved his possessions more than God. The widow was willing to possibly not eat for days by giving all she had in an offering.

We shouldn’t look at the examples of the young ruler and the poor widow and think that Christ wants us to be poor and needy. In fact, in the Book of Mormon, Jacob even says that “after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them”. Of course, Jacob also adds a qualifier to that obtaining and seeking of riches by saying, “ye will seek them for the intent to do good”. Christ simply wants us to be willing to live the law of consecration. I enjoyed President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from General Conference about the Church Welfare program, which I will hopefully write about soon. I think that it really goes well with this topic.

President Joseph F. Smith taught, “God is not a respecter of persons. The rich man may enter into the kingdom of heaven as freely as the poor, if he will bring his heart and affections into subjection to the law of God and to the principle of truth; if he will place his affections upon God, his heart upon the truth, and his soul upon the accomplishment of God’s purposes, and not fix his affections and his hopes upon the things of the world”.

How often to we give all we have, or even part of what we have, to the building up of the kingdom? Are we more like the rich young ruler, or more like the widow? Do we have our heart set upon riches of this world? Or, having obtained a hope in Christ, do we seek riches with the intent to do good?

The Parable of the Rich Fool

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

The thing I found most interesting about this parable was when the rich fool said to himself, “I have no room where to bestow my fruits… [Therefore] I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.” This reminds me of the mentality of those who get a new, better paying job and think that what they should do with their money is go out and get a better, more expensive car, house, stereo system, etc. There is no need for such things, but they think that more money means they should have more stuff. This parable, and the scripture about seeking riches with the intent to do good, makes me think of our family’s goals. We want to adopt and foster as many children as we can. We used to joke that we want to have a hundred children, but as we’ve become aware of the situation in the world around us (the number of children without parents) we are actually serious about it. We want to have a hundred children. Granted, having a hundred children means that we will need to be able to provide for those hundred children, so this means we seek riches. But we have obtained a hope in Christ (it is this hope in Christ that leads us to desire to be parents to a hundred children) so the Lord, I believe, will bless us in those efforts. He has so far, and I know that He will continue to bless us in our righteous desires.

Do you seek riches for the intent to do good? What do you plan on doing with your riches as you receive them? Do you intend to “pull down” your current house, cars, possessions to “build greater”? Or are you going to give away that excess, taking care of those who need your help? Are you going to consecrate your worldly possession and materials to the Lord? Or are you going to set your heart upon them?

The Parable of the Great Supper

16 Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: 17 And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. 18 And they all with one  began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. 19 And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused. 20 And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. 21 So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. 23 And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel to come in, that my house may be filled. (Luke 14:16-23)

This parable is really interesting to me, too, because I know that I have made excuses to get myself out of doing something I didn’t really want to do. But I hope none of those things were as important as being a follower of Christ. Christ teaches us over and over again that we must forsake everything to obtain eternal life. Not just money and wealth – we have to forsake our land, our animals, our spouses, even! The Lord goes on to say “If any  come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.” Now, I think that we can be smart enough to understand the Christ does not mean that we need to hate our family. In fact, those may or may not have been the exact words He used. In Matthew, the wording is, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Either way – the point here is that we need to love Christ more than anything else in our lives, and that we need to be willing to give up everything – relationships, possessions, activities, habits, sins – to know Christ.

Do you make excuses for neglecting your devotion to the Lord? Do you make excuses for not studying the scriptures, not attending the temple, not accepting callings, not going to church…?

The Parable of the Unjust Steward

I won’t quote this parable, because it is a little awkward for me, and will probably be better read on your own. You can find it here.

The point of this parable is to show us that we should seek for spiritual wealth with as much determination and craftiness as the servant sought after material wealth.

We often spend a lot of time in the pursuit of material wealth. For example, job interviews (and preparing for said interviews), doing a “good job” at work, selling stuff, working extra jobs, etc. Maybe we don’t spend quite as much time on interviews with our Heavenly Father, or with our Priesthood leaders – and preparing for said interviews. Do we sometimes spend more time on our resume for work than we spend on our “spiritual resume”?

How much time, thought, and energy do you spend in the pursuit of material wealth? Is it more time, thought, and energy than you spend on the pursuit of spiritual wealth? What things do you do to pursue spiritual wealth?