When to Give and When to Take

I had a conversation with my teenage daughter about the law of consecration and the United Order.

Before I describe the conversation to you I feel like you need a little bit of background on me.

I am something of a minimalist. I try to live by Sarah Lazarovi's "Buyerarchy of Needs" (a play off of Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs).

This, along with the quote "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful" from William Morris are the guided principles of my consumerism.

My daughter was not familiar with the United Order, so I described it to her, definitely oversimplifying things, with this statement, "Basically you gave everything you had to the church, and then they would give you back anything you needed." I followed up with, "That didn't mean no one had nice things - but for example, if you needed a ball gown for a fancy dance, you got one. If you didn't need it, someone else got it."

My daughter's response: "That sounds like something you would love."

You have no idea how much I would love it. So so much.

This essay is about sacrifice. I think minimalism and the law of consecration are very much tied to the law of sacrifice. But sacrifice is so tricky.

Young mothers tend to sacrifice so much that they don't get enough to eat, enough sleep, or enough mental health support. This leads to devastating outcomes like postpartum depression, and suicide.

Spouses of abusive partners tend to sacrifice so much that they stay in abusive relationships, which leads to depression, suicidal thoughts, and in some instances murder or suicide. When children are involved, the heartbreaking outcomes can be devastating for these kids.

Members of the church who make covenants to obey and live the laws of consecration and sacrifice often give so much of themselves that they become disillusioned with at least the church, and in extreme cases even deny the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The problem with sacrifice and the law of consecration is pride. Pride is a barrier.

Being a survivor of abuse I have found some bitterness in my heart toward the law of sacrifice. I sometimes find myself saying in my head "But I sacrificed everything, and it got me into an abusive relationship where I felt robbed of my very being, where my children's quality of life was diminished, where my safety and the safety of my children was not guaranteed. Why should I sacrifice? People will just take advantage of me." In my mind, living the laws of sacrifice and consecration were the gates to abuse. Indeed, very often they are. It is easy to be taken advantage of if you sacrifice and give. So how do we protect ourselves from abuse when we are living the law of sacrifice?

Here is the not-so-easy answer I have come up with: we don't.

Oh, I believe in boundaries, definitely. But we have to be careful that our boundaries come from a place of Doctrine & Covenants 121:43 - "when moved upon by the Holy Ghost" - rather than from a place of pride.

The past several years I have been recovering mentally and spiritually from an abusive relationship. I have learned a lot about boundaries, and at the same time I have developed a lot of pride.

Ironically, pondering the law of sacrifice as I have been doing the past several months seemed to increase my feelings of pride. The elusive balance between sacrifice and boundaries was something I couldn't quite grasp until a month or so ago when I had this inspired thought:

The Savior gave everything. Not just His time and His talents and His love. He gave His very life. His life. And who appreciated him? Very few people. What happened to him? He was abused. In fact, in the words of my beloved Isaiah, "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

That thought was humbling, and I try to use it whenever I want to withhold something - time, money, love, compassion, my talents, whatever it is. I try to come back to that thought. He gave everything - He sacrificed everything and He didn't stop when people abused Him.

Now, am I saying that you should find ways to be abused and taken advantage of? No way. Remember that the Holy Ghost might prompt you not to give - but you have to be very very in tune with that and make sure it isn't pride motivating your stinginess.

I am saying that when you find yourself in a position to give of your time, talents, energy, compassion, love, etc and you want to withhold because you are worried about being taken advantage of, or you start feeling those begrudging feelings of "But who is going to take care of my needs?", remember the Savior and give anyway.

And then take.

Take the Savior's yoke. Take and take and take from the Savior. That is the place to take. No spouse, no friend, no child, no church leader, no human being will ever be able to give you everything you want and need (remember that thing about pride?). So you have to take it from the Person who is immune to Satan's tricks and lies. The only human who has no pride. Not one drop. The only person capable of giving you absolutely everything you need.

And sometimes the only thing you can get from Him is the assurance that some day you will be able to enter into His rest.

Surrender by Reflections of Christ

A friend of mine once said that she imagines our reunion with the Father will consist of us falling, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted into his arms, and He, with tears streaming down his face, will say, "That was hard, wasn't it? I am so glad you are safe at home with me now."

How do you find a balance between sacrifice and mental health? How do you keep pride out of the picture? Have you learned to rely on the power of the Savior?

GCBC Week 9: “Abide in the Lord’s Territory” & “To Hold Sacred”

Elder Ulisses Soares was my husband’s mission president in the Portugal Porto Mission (which has since been combined with the Portugal Lisbon Mission), so hearing him speak in General Conference is always a treat. My husband speaks very highly of him, and loves him like a father (as I imagine many missionaries view their mission presidents). I met him once at a mission reunion several years ago when we were newlyweds, and the talk he gave at the fireside has stuck with me ever since. Maybe I’ll write a blog post about it some day.

I was bummed that my husband didn’t get to hear President Soares speak (he was on a flight back from Paris), but I am grateful for the Ensign and the videos made available online so my husband can sort of have the chance to hear his president speak again.

Abide in the Lord’s Territory – By Elder Ulisses Soares

Jesus Christ established the perfect behavior pattern by which we can build upon our attitudes to be able to fulfill these sacred covenants. The Savior banished from His life any influence that might take His focus away from His divine mission, especially when He was tempted by the enemy or by his followers while He ministered here on earth. Although He never sinned, He had a broken heart and a contrite spirit, full of love for our Heavenly Father and for all men. He humbled Himself before our Father in Heaven, denying His own will to fulfill what the Father had asked of Him in all things until the end. Even at that moment of extreme physical and spiritual pain, carrying the burden of the sins of all mankind on His shoulders and shedding blood through His pores, He told the Father, “Nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt”

“You can’t be right by doing wrong; you can’t be wrong by doing right.”

I love this little saying Elder Soares quoted from President Monson. I am sure it has been made into many printables out there, and I’d even bet that several Relief Society sisters already have it in vinyl lettering on a tile or wood block. And they should. It is absolutely true.

To Hold Sacred – By Elder Paul B. Pieper

Today the struggle continues. Secular voices are growing in volume and intensity. They increasingly urge believers to abandon beliefs the world considers irrational and unreasonable.

…

The sacred cannot be selectively surrendered. Those who choose to abandon even one sacred thing will have their minds darkened, and unless they repent, the light they have shall be taken from them. Unanchored by the sacred, they will find themselves morally adrift on a secular sea.

Elder Paul B. Pieper’s talk really hit me, especially the last several paragraphs. I reread his talk one day after worrying about all the pulls of the secular world, and the discussion about “Mormonism Lite” (or “unorthodox” Mormonism) and all the people who are pulled apart by the secular voices all around us. His talk was very timely for me, and I am trying to hold sacred the truths that I have received, so that my mind won’t be darkened. What a scary thought!

What struck you in these talks?

I should have kept my mouth shut

Well, I got a new calling (two actually, but that’s another story) a few weeks before Christmas – choir director! Which wasn’t a huge surprise – what was mostly surprising was that it took them so long. That was probably because when we started attending this ward I complained (only a little!) about having had so many music callings, and I kind of just wanted to try out something else, you know?

Well, it turns out that callings are actually from Heavenly Father and we don’t get to pick, and I will probably be a choir director for the rest of my life (or in some other music calling) and I have finally realized that I don’t mind that one bit! I love music. Love it. I am passionate about music, especially music in the Church.

So, I gave a talk in Sacrament meeting several years ago when I was the choir director for a different ward (I posted an edited version of that talk here). One of the talks I read in preparation for that talk was Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ talk in November 1994 General Conference titled “Worship through Music.”

Last week I was talking with one of the counselors in the bishopric and he mentioned that the Bishop was thinking about spending some time during Ward Conference (in two weeks) talking about singing during Sacrament meeting, because he had noticed that a lot of the members of our ward don’t even pick up the hymnbook during the hymns. I mentioned that I had given that talk on the importance of music and had read that amazing talk by Elder Oaks addressing the exact topic!

That’s where I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

Because now I am giving that talk (well, another edit of it, since the other talk was actually about teaching children music) in Sacrament meeting next week.

And leading the choir in a special musical number.

Good thing I already taught today in Relief Society (oh yeah, I have three callings – but they call the RS teacher and ward organist “part time” callings…). I wonder how long until my ward gets sick of seeing me? (my husband and I gave talks in October, the same day that I gave the lesson in Relief Society. It was great).

In other news, my two year old came down from bed a little while ago with my economy Book of Mormon clutched to her chest. She loves the Book of Mormon, and she can’t even read yet! She mostly just loves carrying it around with her – but she doesn’t carry around any other book – just the Book of Mormon. In fact, she just fell asleep on the couch beside me snuggling it like a teddy bear.

All I know is seeing her hugging the Book of Mormon made my heart swell. I love my kids. Being a mother is the greatest thing I have ever done, and I love it. Absolutely love it. I try to remind myself how much I love it every day – especially when I am tempted to complain about how hard it is. It is hard! But what good things aren’t?

Children

(find the talk here)

“In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth,
there was no decorated nursery or designer crib –
only a manger for the Savior of the world.”

I have been thinking a lot about Elder Neil L. Andersen’s talk since General Conference. When I was a teenager, I thought a lot about being a mother. It was really all I wanted to be. I dreamed of having a house full of kids. Mothering children has always been on my mind.

The thing about having children (in God’s way, at least) is that it isn’t a one-person decision. I don’t get to just decide to have kids, or not to have kids – it is a decision I have to make with my husband, “with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.”

There are many women in today’s world who want to have children and raise them as a single mother. They don’t see anything wrong with that. I see a lot wrong with that.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” When single women decide to bear and raise children by themselves, they are teaching those children the complete opposite. Sure, it’s hard to be married, and it is hard to compromise and maybe not do things exactly the way you want to, or the way you think is right. But that is where children belong – with a mother and a father who are trying to work together, to be unified. They may not always be perfect, but children are entitled to being raised with a father and a mother who are trying to make things work.

Unity in marriage is another post entirely, but there needs to be unity in marriage for the decision of bearing children – obviously, since neither a man nor a woman can biologically have children without the other. Which means that the choice to have children rests with both the husband and the wife.

Just as the world has succumbed to Satan’s lie that it’s okay for single, unmarried women to raise children on their own (I’m not talking about women who get pregnant from a dumb decision, or a mistake – I’m talking about women who purposefully get pregnant while they are single because they don’t want to get married, yet they want to have children. I am also not talking about women who would get married in a heart beat, but want to raise children and so they adopt or foster as a single woman – those women are to be praised for their courage), Elder Andersen says, “Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family.” I have thought of this a lot – if there is no reason you shouldn’t have more children (you don’t have a job, your health won’t permit bearing children, you are physically unable to bear children, etc – and even in some of these cases, people will bear children), then why shouldn’t you bear children? The world will tell you ___ number of children is enough. I have a boy and a girl, and I can’t tell you how many times the world has told me, “Oh, you have a boy and a girl, that’s perfect, you can be ‘done’ having kids!” What a horrible lie. Sure, I enjoy my boy and my girl, but I have never once thought that I was going to be “done” after two children – regardless of their genders! What a crazy lie the world would have us believe.

I love when the prophets and apostles quote other good Christians at General Conference. Frequently quoted are C.S. Lewis, Charles Dickens (best of times, worst of times), and William Wordsworth, but Elder Andersen actually quoted a contemporary Christian blogger, Rachel Jankovic. I almost fell over backwards when I heard him quote her, and then after conference I had to go look her up. Of course, her quote is now being spread around the internet attributed to Elder Andersen (if you spread her quote, please give her credit). The entire blog post she wrote was very powerful. The part Elder Andersen quoted was this

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Part of me wonders what Rachel thinks of being quoted from the pulpit at LDS General Conference. I took the time to read her entire post that this quote was taken from, and it was excellent. I decided today to go buy her book, Loving the Little Years. That sentiment reminds me of a quote from President Monson in General Conference of October 2008 where he said, “If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.”

The other day I came in to my bedroom where I had laid our two and a half year old to sleep on our bed. She was asleep – next to my journal and my economy Book of Mormon. When I opened up my journal, I noticed she had scribbled on a few pages and on the inside covers. I expected to get upset (my journal is very precious to me) and then I thought about reading through that journal when my little J is grown up and independent and doesn’t need me to snuggle her and put her down for naps anymore. And I thought what a beautiful reminder that scribble in my journal will be of the innocence of her childhood, and the precious child that grew up under my care.

I enjoyed the story Elder Andersen told about Elder Mason’s talk with President Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball asked Elder Mason “Where is your faith?” When I first heard that story, and that question, I thought differently about it than I do right now. At first I thought that I didn’t have enough faith and that is why we aren’t expecting a third child yet. But now I am realizing that the Lord wants me to have faith that all my righteous desires will be realized. I need to have faith that I will have all those children my heart desires to have. And I don’t need to be bitter because I won’t have what I want right now.

I was particularly pleased that Elder Andersen reminded us not once, but twice “we should not judge one another on this matter… we should not be judgmental with one another in this sacred and private responsibility.” I think that goes both ways – we should not judge people who do not have children yet, and we should not judge people who choose to have many children, even though it may seem that they have “too many” children. It is a very personal decision, and one made between a couple and the Lord.

How have you had to have faith when it comes to bearing children? Do you think there are things that you need to do before you have children? Are children highest on your list of priorities? Do you cherish each child the Lord places into your family?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

The Song of the Righteous

Note: This is an edited version of a talk I was asked to give in Sacrament meeting in 2008 when I was the ward choir director in a ward in Springville, UT. I tried to shorten in a bit, but it’s still pretty long (it was a 10-15 minute talk…) I have been enjoying the Mormon Channel’s new Music Stream, and it made me think of this talk and all the wonderful principles I learned while studying for it.

I have a great testimony of the power of music. I have played and sung many pieces of musical importance, and performed in various venues throughout my life. I have several favorite pieces among the great composers of Debussy, Mendelssohn, Mozart, Bach, and others. But by far my favorite music to experience, whether by listening or performing, are the hymns.

There have been times when I have been able to share my testimony through the hymns, and those are the times when my testimony feels the strongest – unbreakable, unshakeable, and immoveable. In a way, I feel that the hymns, especially those in the Children’s Songbook, have provided the foundation for my gospel knowledge.

But the hymns didn’t provide that foundation on their own. I credit that foundation to the exposure my parents gave me to the hymns from an early age.

Ever since I can remember, there has been music in our home. The earliest of those memories has to do with the hymns. When my mother was a member of the Stake Relief Society Presidency, our family would travel to the different wards in our stake, often an hour or more away from our home. It would have been a lot easier for my mother to simply take the trip herself, but she would make us go with her, and our family would sing in the ward’s sacrament meeting. Often, the song was “Love is Spoken Here.”

My father has worked in family therapy for years, and once as a young child, our family went with him to a family retreat sponsored by his agency. One evening, while all the families were gathered after dinner, our family sang “Love at Home.” Our parents loved sharing truth through music, and so experiences like these were common for us.

President Boyd K. Packer said, “Parents ought to foster good music in the home and cultivate a desire to have their children learn the hymns of inspiration.” It is hard to cultivate that desire to learn the hymns if we ourselves, as their parents, do not cultivate the desire in us to learn the hymns.

Several years ago, Elder Oaks shared the following experience,

“I had finished a special assignment on a Sunday morning in Salt Lake City and desired to attend a sacrament meeting. I stopped at a convenient ward meetinghouse and slipped unnoticed into the overflow area just as the congregation was beginning to sing these sacred words of the sacrament song:

’Tis sweet to sing the matchless love
Of Him who left his home above
And came to earth—oh, wondrous plan—
To suffer, bleed, and die for man!
(Hymns, 1985, no. 177)

My heart swelled as we sang this worshipful hymn and contemplated renewing our covenants by partaking of the sacrament. Our voices raised the concluding strains:

For Jesus died on Calvary,
That all thru him might ransomed be.
Then sing hosannas to his name;
Let heav’n and earth his love proclaim.

As we sang these words, I glanced around at members of the congregation and was stunned to observe that about a third of them were not singing. How could this be? Were those who did not even mouth the words suggesting that for them it was not “sweet to sing the matchless love” or to “sing hosannas to his name”? What are we saying, what are we thinking, when we fail to join in singing in our worship services?

I believe some of us in North America are getting neglectful in our worship, including the singing of hymns. I have observed that the Saints elsewhere are more diligent in doing this. We in the center stakes of Zion should renew our fervent participation in the singing of our hymns.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Worship through Music,” Ensign, Nov 1994)

I witnessed this myself when our family was attending a Portuguese ward here in Utah. The Brazilians in our Portuguese ward sang the hymns with such vigor and testimony I was almost moved to tears each Sunday during Sacrament meeting. Contrast that with our English speaking ward we recently started attending. The hymns during sacrament meeting are barely whispered, and there are many who do not sing or even mouth the words. We must sing the hymns. There is no other way to gain a testimony of their significance and importance.

You can download almost all the hymns of the Church, including the hymns from the Children’s Songbook, from the Church website. There are a few hymns that are not available for download due to copyright restrictions, but for the most part, you can download (for free) and listen to and learn any hymn that might be sung in Sacrament meeting.

The First Presidency Preface to the Hymnbook says, “Teach your children to love the hymns. Sing them on the Sabbath, in home evening, during scripture study, at prayer time. Sing as you work, as you play, and as you travel together. Sing hymns as lullabies to build faith and testimony in your young ones.” These are simple suggestions that make an eternal impact of the testimonies of your children. There is nothing more special than rocking my children to sleep singing “I am a Child of God.”

My husband often comments that I have a song for everything (almost any phrase or topic can get me singing something). This is especially true for gospel topics. The songs found in the Children’s Songbook teach very deep and significant doctrinal truths in a simple, joyous manner. If our children learn the songs of the Children’s Songbook, their gospel understanding will be much more advanced by the time they graduate from primary. There are songs in Primary that teach about the Plan of Salvation, as so eloquently and simply stated in the song “I Lived in Heaven.” Children learn of baptism through dozens of simple songs. They learn of the life of the Savior, the Savior’s love for them and for all His children. They learn about the importance of helping at home, of service, of love, of scripture study, and prayer by the words of a song. There is no basic gospel principle left out of the Children’s Songbook. Do you understand what a significant blessing that music is to your children?

Elder Packer encouraged all families to make sure that music lessons are a part of their children’s upbringing, and especially that parents provide the opportunity for children to learn to play the hymns of the Church. He said,

“The time for music lessons seems to come along when there are so many other expenses for the family with little children. But we encourage parents to include musical training in the lives of their children.

Somehow Andrew and Olive Kimball did, and Spencer learned to play. Somehow Samuel and Louisa Lee managed to do it, and Harold learned to play. And now, as the leaders of the Church assemble for our sacred meetings in the upper room of the temple, we always sing a hymn. At the organ is President Spencer W. Kimball or President Harold B. Lee.

How wonderful is the music instructor who will teach children and youth to play and will acquaint them with good music in their formative years, including the music of worship. To have such music as a part of one’s life is a great blessing.” (Boyd K. Packer, “Inspiring Music—Worthy Thoughts,” Ensign, Jan 1974)

My mother is a piano teacher, and she makes sure that her LDS students learn how to play the hymns. That didn’t start with her students, however. My brothers and sister and I have always been required to learn to play the hymns. It started with learning from the Hymns Made Easy book, and as our ability to play the hymns increased, if it increased, we moved on to the regular hymnbook. Some of my siblings still play from the Hymns Made Easy. Nevertheless, for each of us, it has been a great blessing in our lives, as we have been able to provide the service of accompanying any kind of meeting. It has helped us learn the importance of music, of service, and of the gospel.

You do not need to force your child to become a great performance musician. It can be as simple as teaching them to play a few simple hymns, or having someone you know teach them how to read music and play from the Hymns Made Easy book. That simple ability to play the hymns will bless them throughout their lives. Maybe you will even be inspired to learn to play the hymns as well.

I encourage each of you to ponder the words of the prophets on this subject. Think about President Packer’s admonition to give our children music lessons. I hope you take to heart Elder Oak’s counsel to sing the hymns in our worship services, to be an active participant in the music of the gospel. Cultivate the desire to understand and gain a testimony of the significance of music in the gospel. Please come to Sister Taylor or myself for help with increasing your musical abilities.

I pray that we will use the gift of music to bring the Spirit of God into our homes, into our meetings, and into our lives, and let that Spirit testify to us of the truthfulness of the gospel and the reality of our Savior.

How have you made good music a part of your life? Do you worship through song with the hymns and songs from the Children’s Songbook? Do your children learn how to play the hymns? Sing the hymns? How do you study the gospel through music?

To Think About Jesus – violin obligato

So our Primary Presidency asked me to play a violin obbligato with the primary for the primary program in a few weeks. First, they asked me to play something with If I Listen With My Heart. The conversation went something like this:

Primary Gal: Hey, Becca, could you play your violin with the primary for If I Listen with My Heart?
Me: Sure! (I never turn down an opportunity to play the violin. Love love love my violin!)
Primary Secretary: Great. So… do you need us to get you some music…?  (I knew where this was going)
Me: I could just make something up.
Primary  Secretary (voice dripping with relief): That is exactly what we wanted to hear! Thank you so much!

About a week later

Primary Secretary: Hey, Becca, so could you play with To Think About Jesus instead?
Me (thinking how great it is that I am a procrastinator and haven’t even pulled out my violin since she first asked): Sure! No problem.

So this morning I was frantically scratching out an obligato part on MuseScore (a fabulous free, open source music composition program) because we were supposed to have practice for the Primary program at 10am. Around ten o’clock I finally print off the finished product (thankful that we live around the block from the chapel), load my violin and my Sunbeam (V) into the car, and off we go. I get to the church parking lot and it is completely empty. Oh snap, practice isn’t until next weekend.

Well, at least now I am prepared a week in advance!

And I thought perhaps I would share my arrangement in case any one else wants to use it (either for this year’s program or for whatever – family home evening, you know, or something).

Please feel free to share a link to this page (please don’t copy and distribute the actual image on your own blog). And if you use the music, please print it in it’s entirety with the copyright tag in place.

If you would like a PDF copy (better quality for printing) don’t hesitate to email me at mysouldelighteth (at) gmail.com and I’ll send one right your way!

The Sanctifying Work of Welfare

(find the talk here)

I have been gaining a stronger testimony recently that many Church programs are not simply organizations made up by man to help the members of the Church. They are revealed programs by the Lord, and existed in the ancient Church, whether they were called by the same name. Recently the leaders of the Church have been testifying of the organization of the Relief Society and the Welfare program, reminding us that these programs existed in Christ’s day, even if they were called something else.

Bishop H. David Burton said, “It is in the benevolent practice of sacrifice and giving of ourselves to others that we learn the celestial principles of sacrifice and consecration.” Since celestial glory is the goal of members of the Church, learning to live celestial principles is definitely our goal here on earth. The principles of welfare are really principles of sacrifice and consecration, two covenants that we make with our Father.

The welfare work is led by bishops all over the world to help the members of the ward – not just those who attend their congregation, but those within their ward boundaries who are in need of assistance. That seems like a huge responsibility, but the bishops are assisted by ward councils including Relief Society presidents, who, President Eyring said, may receive revelation for how to help before the bishop does.

I was really impressed by the story Bishop Burton told of the priesthood leader in South America who was distressed by the hunger and poverty of the members of his ward. Instead of writing to Church headquarters for food or clothing, the priesthood leader found a little plot of land, and with help from the brethren and sisters in the ward cultivated the land and grew crops to feed the ward member – despite trials and setbacks.

I think this is the key to the welfare program of the Church – it is not simply to help people, but to “help people help themselves.” The whole gospel message is that – the leaders of the Church can teach us the principles of the gospel, and can provide a place to meet, and manuals and scriptures to study, but we have to do the actual work. We have to want to become spiritually self-sufficient, just as we have to want to become temporally self-provident. Of course, we cannot become self-proficient at anything without the necessary tools, so it is our job as members of Christ’s kingdom to help give our neighbors the things they need to learn how to help themselves.

Bishop Burton gave a great illustration of how we have to take care of the temporal needs of those who also have spiritual needs.

In 1897 a young David O. McKay stood at a door with a tract in his hand. As a missionary in Stirling, Scotland, he had done this many times before. But on that day a very haggard woman opened the door and stood before him. She was poorly dressed and had sunken cheeks and unkempt hair.

She took the tract Elder McKay offered to her and spoke six words that he subsequently would never forget: “Will this buy me any bread?”

This encounter left a lasting impression on the young missionary. He later wrote: “From that moment I had a deeper realization that the Church of Christ should be and is interested in the temporal salvation of man. I walked away from the door feeling that that [woman], with … bitterness in[her heart] toward man and God, [was] in no position to receive the message of the gospel. [She was] in need of temporal help, and there was no organization, so far as I could learn, in Stirling that could give it to[her].”¹

The Savior himself often healed physical infirmities before healing spirits. He knew that when people feel taken care of they are more likely to accept the gospel. I would not believe in a gospel or a Church that preached anything but left its members out in the cold. President Gordon B. Hinckley told members in distress that, “As long as the Church has resources, we will not let you go hungry or without clothing or without shelter. We shall do all that we can to assist in the way that the Lord has designated that it should be done.” Bishop Burton quoted President Heber J. Grant who said he would “close the seminaries, shut down missionary work for a period of time, or even close the temples, but they would not let the people go hungry.” What a beautiful statement – the welfare program of the Church is truly inspired.

It seems to me that the success of the Church’s welfare program is based on the self-sufficiency of the members, and the education and eventual self-sufficiency of those who may receive assistance at one time or another. Bishop Burton listed the foundational principles of self-reliance, “avoid debt, implement principles of thrift, prepare for times of distress, listen to and follow the words of the living oracles, develop the discipline to distinguish between needs and wants and then live accordingly.” I thought it was interesting that a principle of self-reliance would be to listen to and follow the words of the prophets. But, indeed, following the prophets leads not only to spiritual prosperity, but temporal prosperity as well.

Bishop Burton’s talk is inspiring me to be more self-sufficient so that I can contribute to the welfare work of God’s kingdom. It also gives me the courage to ask for help when I need it. When we help each other and consecrate our time and means for each other and for the Church, we are truly learning the meaning of sacrifice and consecration.

In what ways do you participate in the Church’s welfare program? Have you had to accept help from the welfare program? Did you feel more able to provide for your family because of the assistance of the Church? How have you been able to help others as you have become self reliant?

This is the last week to enter my 100th Blog Post giveaway! I’m giving away framed prints of the Salt Lake Temple. Make sure you enter!

The Sabbath Part II – Staying Unspotted

(This is Part II of a five part series on The Sabbath)

To Keep Ourselves Unspotted from the World

In President Kimball’s article, he gave several examples of communities which kept the Sabbath, and communities that broke the Sabbath. He spoke of communities where the hay balers stood idle in the field and the businesses were all closed. He spoke of other communities where people were lined up at the theater, or heading off for the hunt on the Sabbath. The Lord expects us to avoid recreation and business transactions on the Sabbath. Elder Perry called these “worldly distractions.”

President Kimball clarified the problem with recreation and business on the Sabbath. “There is no criticism of legitimate recreation—sports, picnics, plays, and motion pictures… But there is a proper time and place for all worthwhile things—a time for work, a time for play,a time for worship.” It is good to have one day where we remove ourselves completely from the world and simply worship. He went on to say, “Sometimes Sabbath observance is characterized as a matter of sacrifice and self-denial, but it is not so. It is merely a matter of shifting times and choosing seasons. There is time enough, particularly in our era of the world’s history, during the six days of the week in which to do our work and play. Much can be done to organize and encourage weekday activities, avoiding the Sabbath.” There is a time and a season for all things, and with careful planning, we can do all our work and play in the other six days of the week, and save the Sabbath for worshipping the Lord. As I have been working on preparing for the Sabbath each Saturday (all the while singing in my head the song “Saturday is a special day, it’s the day we get ready for Sunday.”) I have discovered this counsel from President Kimball to be true.

There is some work that must be done on the Sabbath. People don’t stop getting sick on the Sabbath, no matter how healthy we all try to be (although there are probably people who would go to the hospital on the Sabbath instead of waiting for Monday when they really could wait), people don’t stop breaking the law on the Sabbath, and accidents and tragedies don’t rest on the Sabbath, unfortunately. So there is a place for those jobs that never sleep. However, President Kimball pointed out, “Many industries have processes which, it is said, cannot be interrupted for the Sabbath—in those industries the workers ‘have to work’ on Sunday.This may be true. But ‘necessity is the mother of invention,’ and I have often wondered how long it would take to invent new methods of production, which would not require Sunday work, if everyone in a particular industry simply decided to keep the Sabbath day holy.” There are certainly industries where I think this is true, but there are also industries (such as the ones I mentioned) that truly do have a need on the Sabbath.

There are some “jobs” that we must do on the Sabbath that may actually be good to do on the Sabbath. President Kimball said, “some of the work that is truly necessary—caring for the sick, for example—may actually serve to hallow the Sabbath.” Because caring for the sick, and offering that service to the feeble is something that we may do to keep the Sabbath even if it isn’t our paid job, working that job can be an experience that brings us closer to Heavenly Father, and helps us honor Him. President Kimball, however, cautioned, “in such activities our motives are a most important consideration.”

“When men and women are willing to work on the Sabbath to increase their wealth, they are breaking the commandments.” To me, this would be like a nurse taking on Sunday shifts at the hospital because she wants to earn more money to buy a car or a house. On the other hand, I’ll share an experience my sister had. She works in a hospital lab. She normally works a week day shift, but a few weeks ago, when they were working out the winter holiday schedule at work, a mother who usually works the Sunday shift asked if someone would take her shift on Christmas day (since Christmas day this year is a Sunday). My sister doesn’t have any children of her own, and she offered to take the shift – not because she wants to work on the Sabbath, but because she knew that this woman would be able to spend Christmas (and the Sabbath) with her children if my sister took her shift. My sister was also more than willing to switch a shift with this woman. My sister’s motivations were pure – she wanted her colleague to be able to spend Christmas with her children. Her heart was not set on the extra money she would earn from the shift, but helping the other woman’s family. If we work on the Sabbath, we would be wise to carefully consider our motives, as well as the need – is it really necessary?

Sometimes, even if we do not work on the Sabbath, the ox may fall in the mire, and we are not condemned if we pull out our ox to save it. However, President Kimball pointed out that “no one deliberately puts the ox in the mire every week, or lets him get in the mire with no effort to keep him out.” I like both parts of this – we should not deliberately put the ox in the mire (that is, we shouldn’t try to make there be situations where we must break the Sabbath) and we should try to keep the ox out of the mire. An example of deliberately putting the ox in the mire would be choosing to cook a meal on the Sabbath that requires an ingredient you don’t have, therefore “requiring” that you go to the store to obtain the necessary ingredient. An example of taking no steps to keep the ox out of the mire would be letting your car run empty on Saturday evening and thus you must purchase gas on the Sabbath in order to get to your Church meetings. I think most of us would not deliberately put ourselves in a situation in which we must pull the ox out of the mire, but I know that I have sometimes neglected to take the necessary precautions to keep the ox out of the mire.

Elder Perry also explained that the way we dress on the Sabbath has something to do with keeping ourselves unspotted from the world. “We know that when Sunday dress deteriorates to everyday attire, attitudes and actions follow…by the clothing we encourage [our children] to wear and the activities we plan, we help them prepare for the sacrament and enjoy its blessings throughout the day.” I think this is important. And at the same time, I worry that sometimes the Saints judge each other because of their Sunday dress, perhaps thinking that Sister So-and-so isn’t as righteous because she brings her children to church in sneakers and a t-shirt. The greatest thing I ever learned about the term “Sunday best” is that “best” is relative to the other things in your closet, not the other things in someone else’s closet. The reason I don’t put my children in sneakers for church on Sunday is because I have dress shoes and a suit for my son, and I have nice dresses for my daughter. The reason I don’t wear flip-flops to Church is because I own dress shoes. We should wear our Sunday best, but we should also be careful not to judge others whose Sunday best might be more casual than our Sunday best.

How do you keep yourself and your family “unspotted from the world” on the Sabbath? If you work on the Sabbath, what is your motivation? What steps do you take to keep the ox out of the mire? How do you organize your week so that you can devote the Sabbath to the Lord? What does “Sunday best” mean to you?

Part I            Part III

“Opportunities to do Good”

(find the talk here)

I have listened to this talk several times and I always get a little teary-eyed when President Henry B. Eyring talks about the couple who lost their home when the Teton dam broke in Idaho. You’ll have to read the whole talk to find out what happened.

The thing that struck me this time when I read this talk was how timely this talk is (aren’t all the General Conference talks pretty timely?). I think that this talk directly and indirectly addressed some major issues in today’s disaster-ridden world. Natural disasters and financial disasters and political disasters abound in every country. Some of us are asking “Why does God let such bad things happen to His children?” My favorite question to ask is “Why is this happening?” – not in a despairing, or a “questioning” way – but as an  invitation to myself and to Heavenly Father to teach me His will, and to teach me what I need to learn from the situation.

As I attended BYU Campus Education Week recently, I observed that I believe that one of the beautiful effects of agency is that we have the capacity to hurt each other, which gives us the opportunity to learn how to use the atonement both to repent, and to forgive.

The question about natural disasters and other accidents and disasters has led me to believe that God allows bad things to happen so the we have opportunities to do good. If people never lost their homes to floods, earthquakes, fires, and other disasters, we would never have opportunities to shelter the homeless. If there was not drought and famine, we would not have opportunities to feed the hungry. If there were not fires and tornados and hurricanes, we would not have the opportunities we have to clothe the naked.

I believe the God is providing opportunities for us to grow through doing good deeds for each other and taking care of each other. Trials and tribulation are definitely a part of this earthly life – but I think the deeper purpose of those trials and tribulations is to give us opportunities to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:18-19) and “to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.” (Jacob 2:19).

President Eyring pointed out that those who take advantage of the opportunities to do good are “people who out of love have consecrated themselves and what they have to God and to His work.” Something that really stuck out to me in his talk was when he described the Lord’s way of providing these opportunities.

“Because the Lord hears their cries and feels your deep compassion for them, He has from the beginning of time provided ways for His disciples to help. He has invited His children to consecrate their time, their means, and themselves to join with Him in serving others.

“His way of helping has at times been called living the law of consecration.In another period His way was called the united order. In our time it is called the Church welfare program.”

I have always been interested in the law of consecration and the united order, and I often wondered why we do not live the law of consecration in our day. After attending the temple for the first time, I realized that we really do still live in the law of consecration. As President Eyring pointed out, today we call it the “Church welfare program.”

Those who help others have consecrated their lives to building up God’s kingdom on earth – and that means helping those in need. Whenever they need it.

My father used to tell us, “Never deny others the blessings they can receiving from giving (or serving).” His point was that we should let people give us things and serve us, because we would not be the only ones getting blessings – those who served and gave would also be blessed. This has really been significant for me, because I often feel that I am in a “better position” (financially, spiritually, temporally, etc) than those who so often offer to help me. But what I realize my father was trying to teach us was that no matter a person’s position in life, they can always benefit from the blessings the Lord will give them for serving and loving His children.

President Eyring echoed my father’s words when he said, “I have seen the blessings that come to the person in need who receives help and to the person who seizes the opportunity to give it.” Blessings always come to both the giver and the receiver. Later on President Eyring quoted President Marion G. Romney who said, “You cannot give yourself poor in this work.” and President Melvin J. Ballard who said, “A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return.” Both the giver and the receiver area always blessed, and often it is the giver who is blessed more abundantly than the receiver – hence my father’s counsel to never deny those blessing to the person who would serve us.

President Eyring listed four principles that have guided him when he wanted to help in the Lord’s way, and I will simply list them. You can read more about them in his talk.

1. “[A]ll people are happier and feel more self-respect when they can provide for themselves and their family and then reach out to take care of others.”
2. “The power and blessing of unity. When we join hands to serve people in need, the Lord unites our hearts.”
3. “Draw your family into the work with you so that they can learn to care for each other as they care for others.”
4. “[T]he Lord sends the Holy Ghost to make it possible to ‘seek, and ye shall find’ in caring for the poor as He does in finding the truth.”

He then listed three suggestions as you plan to do service

1. “Prepare yourself and those you lead spiritually.”
2. “Choose as recipients of your service people within the kingdom or in the community whose needs will touch the hearts of those who will give the service.”
3. “Draw on the power of the bongs of families, quorums, of auxiliary organizations, and of people you know in your communities. The feelings of unity will multiply the good effects of the service you give.”

I hope that I can put President Eyring’s counsel to work in my life as I consecrate my life to the kingdom and look for those whose lives I can touch through meaningful service.

How do you find and take advantage of “opportunities to do good”? Have you found the principles President Eyring discussed to be true as you have served others? Do you deny others the blessings of giving service when they would serve you? Or do you welcome offers of service, knowing that the giver often receives more than the recipient of the service?

Find more great comments on President Eyring’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

Trust in God, Then Go and Do

(find the talk here)

President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from the Sunday morning session of General Conference was timely for several reasons. The first reason I can think of is because President Boyd K. Packer spoke just after President Eyring’s talk, and President Packer’s talk garnered a lot of criticism among the world, and, ironically, among members of the Church. When a prophet of God speaks, we should trust that he is speaking for the Lord. We have even  been instructed to pray and learn for ourselves that what the prophets say is true. I’ll say more about President Packer’s talk when I read that talk again for this blog (probably tomorrow).

It’s interesting how I end up re-reading the conference talks at exactly the right time for me to hear some counsel that I am particularly needing at that moment. Maybe I didn’t need to hear President Eyring’s counsel to “Trust in God, Then Go and Do” back in October last year, but I surely need it now.

My husband and I are in the process of making a few very significant, very important decisions for our family. About both of which we have recently received individual promptings from the Spirit. However, we, in our “perceived” infinite wisdom (“I know my circumstances, so I know how to proceed in my situation.”) have attempted to postpone, put off, or other wise ignore the promptings we have received. On Sunday afternoon, the Lord sent one of his messengers to help us understand His will for us. President Eyring says that he “trust[s] His apostles and prophets today and those they call to serve God.” (emphasis added) The Lord has called righteous bishops to preside over our wards, and the bishop from our neighborhood ward visited us on Sunday and confirmed our feelings from the past few months. Now the job is ours to decide if we will “go and do.”

The other decision is much more personal and I will not share the details here, but I will mention that both my husband and I feel completely inadequate to go forth with the Lord’s plan in this regard. We both feel that we do not have what it takes, that following what we have felt prompted to do would make our lives more crazy and stressful than we are right now, and that we lack the strength necessary to do the Lord’s will. But President Eyring reminds us of Nephi’s proclamation of trust and obedience:

Nephi … said these words of trust that we can and must feel steadily in our hearts: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

I want to have the kind of faith where I will obey the Lord’s will for me even when I think that I know that there is a better way.  President Eyring says that kind of trust “comes from knowing God.” In my talk yesterday I spoke about President Uchtdorf’s talk Of Things that Matter Most and one of the relationships he mentioned was our relationship with Heavenly Father. President Uchtdorf even taught us how to improve our relationship with our Father. He said:

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him,by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by[Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

I can learn to trust God by improving my relationship with him and coming to really know God. Studying the scriptures to learn about Him, looking in the world around me to learn about Him, looking into my heart and listening to the Spirit to learn about Him. As I stay close to God, I know that He will make known to me the things he would have me do.

I must trust in the Lord, and then go and do.

I can learn to trust more in the Lord, and I do have a desire to do His will. And as I learn to trust in the Lord, I know that He will be able to trust me, and that He will reveal more and more of His plan for me, as I show Him that I am willing to do His will, trusting that He will prepare a way for it.

President Eyring closed with this remark, and I think it is appropriate for my post as well:

You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks. If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song, and prayer in this conference, you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed with gratitude to find that He has come to trust you.

May we learn to have trust in the Lord – and then be willing to go and do what He would have us do. I know that our power to trust Him will grow as we demonstrate that trust to Him.

Have you struggled to trust in the Lord? How do you feel when  you work to find out His will for you, and then go and do the things He has asked for you to do? Do you feel like He prepares a way for you to do all the things He asks you to do?

Reflections on a Consecrated Life

(find the talk here)

I have actually listened to this particular talk maybe three or four times in the last several days. I listened to it really for the first time on Sunday, and listened to it twice on the way to pick up a friend from the airport.

One of the principles of the gospel that has always been concerning to me is that of the law of consecration. It seems like a simple thing, but in reality, I find it very complex and at times confusing.

I imagine that part of the confusion comes from not really knowing God’s will. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.” (here)

Elder D. Todd Christofferson says “True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives – that is, our time and choices – to God’s purposes.” So, first we have to actually understand God’s purposes, or His will, and then we have to do His will – dedicating our time and choices to His will.

“Consecration therefore means repentance. Stubbornness, rebellion, and rationalization must be abandoned, and their place submission, a desire for correction, and acceptance of all that the Lord may require.” It is hard for me to realize when I am being stubborn, rebellious, and rationalizing. Sometimes I just feel like I am being stalwart and firm in the faith. The only thing that can help me know the difference is the Holy Ghost – but sometimes when I am being stubborn, it’s hard for me to admit that the Holy Ghost might be telling me I am wrong.

The other appealing part of this talk for me was how Elder Christofferson spoke about work. “God has designed this mortal existence to require nearly constant exertion.” I have been struggling to understand the meaning of constant work in my life –especially with two small children at home. “A  consecrated life is filled with work, sometimes repetitive, sometimes menial, sometimes unappreciated but always work that improves, orders, sustains, lifts, ministers, aspires.” It’s good to know that the menial tasks of changing diapers and cleaning up mess after mess after mess are still parts of a consecrated life – sometimes I feel like I can’t consecrate my life to the Lord, because I’m too busy doing the menial things that “sustain” us. But doing those things right now is what a consecrated life means for me.

“Just as honest toil gives rest its sweetness, wholesome recreation is the friend and steadying companion of work.” To be honest, I am a harder worker than I am a “leisurer” – if that makes any sense. It is hard for me to relax and enjoy “wholesome recreation.”  Probably because “much of what passes for entertainment today is coarse, degrading, violent, mind-numbing, and time wasting.” I think I am so afraid of choosing wrong forms of recreation that I just keep “working.” I do enjoy working, and some of it doubles as recreation for me, but there are times, I think, when we need to just sit down, put up our feet, and enjoy something that is pure entertainment – something made mostly to make us laugh or smile.

The last thought I want to share from Elder Christofferson’s talk is this: “Those who quietly and thoughtfully go about doing good offer a model of consecration.” Then he speaks of President Monson, “He has cultivated a listening ear that can discern even the faintest whisper of the Spirit signaling the need of someone he can reach and help.”

How do you consecrate your life to the Lord? How do you understand and come to know the will of the Lord? How do you make sure that you are making wholesome choices in your recreation? Are you cultivating a listening ear for the Spirit’s whisper?