Answers Come

In my last post I talked about not really knowing how to prioritize all that there is to do. 

I still don’t know all the answers, but this quote from President Oaks showed up on my news feed the other day and I felt as if it was an answer to my prayers. 

I have been trying to pray for that inspiration to know what things MUST be done, according to eternal principle. I am finding this inspiration harder to receive than I thought, but I did feel like I could at least name a few:

1.) scripture study (both individual and with my family)

2.) prayer (both individual and with my family)

Beyond this I haven’t been able to come up with much else that is required by eternal principles. When I try to add to my list I end up going down a rabbit hole of “Well, if that is important, than so is this.” And I start getting in debates with myself, “What makes this more important than the other thing? Could I choose between doing these two things?” Because that thought process gets so mangled and complicated I feel that it is safe to assume that anything beyond those first two priorities falls in the “pray for wisdom to exercise our preferences” category. 

I am still working on actually following these priorities. Having a clean house is incredibly important to me. But I wonder if it would become less important if I was studying the scriptures and praying more regularly on my own and with my children...? Teaching my children to work is important to me, but should it be more important than teaching them to study the scriptures and pray? I don’t think so. 

And so I continue working on prioritizing my time and I spend a lot of time in prayer and counsel with Heavenly Father, beggin Him for the inspiration I so desperately need!

How do you decide what is most important in your life? How do you discern what is required by eternal principles? How do you use wisdom to exercise your preferences for all the other things?

Surrender

Letting myself be happy has turned out to be harder than I thought.

I’ve been thinking about the atonement for the past few days, after we had our Teachings for Our Times lesson on Sunday about President Uchtdorf’s message (which ironically was the General Conference Book Club talk for last week).

For some reason my testimony of the atonement and my understanding and conviction that it is the key to happiness and can help me bear pain and disappointment doesn’t seem to translate into something doable. I can’t figure out how to use the atonement to help assuage the pain.

Something I thought about on Sunday was how I healed (am healing) from the loss of my brother. For a while I didn’t heal – I was too busy to deal with the grief – but once I faced the grief head on, and allowed the atonement to work in me, I felt the healing. I still feel it every day (for that trial). The loss of my brother will always be a hole in my heart, but it is much less painful now than it was two years ago.  I feel like I was able to heal because nothing was ongoing. Once the initial shock was gone, there was not much left to do other than heal. There are always little moments when it’s harder – like when we’re taking family pictures, or on his birthday, or on the anniversary of his death, or when I watch someone else deal with the loss of a loved one. But in general, the pain is past. The trial is, for the most part, over.

This trial is different.

It may never be over. It may never end. Things may never, in this life, get better – at least not the way I want them to.

And I think accepting that is hard for me. Learning how to live with the situation how it is feels like giving up. It feels like being okay with things the way they are is failure. Accepting that I don’t have any power over this situation is like accepting defeat.

I guess I just don’t want to endure pain for the rest of my life. This is a spiritual and emotional pain, rather than a physical one – but I think the concept is the same. I can’t imagine living in chronic pain. I know there are people who do it. A good sister in my ward is in constant pain and confined to a wheelchair. There are actually two sisters in our ward in that condition. How do they stand it? How do they find happiness? It wasn’t their choice to be in that situation.

I think deep down I feel a little bit like this trial is my fault. I feel as if there is something I could have done. If only I had made this decision, or that decision, I wouldn’t be in this position.

Sometime in the past year I remember thinking to myself that Heavenly Father wanted me to be in this position. He knew before I did the pain I would be in. He knew it a long time ago, before I even saw it coming. He knew when He told me to make the decision I made that would lead me to this place. He knew this was the only way I would learn the things I needed to learn.

I read this quote from Orson F. Whitney earlier today in a General Conference talk by Elder Robert D. Hales,

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.

I loved what Bonnie said about tanning leather on my most recent post at Real Intent:

You would think that the strongest leather comes from hides with lots of flesh left on them, nice and thick, that haven't been treated too badly. In fact, the strongest leather comes from well-scraped hides that have been acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun, then acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun, and acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun. Unworked leather cracks under pressure. Well-worked leather is soft and supple, water-proof and flexible. We don't grow strong by being left alone.

Tender. How do you tenderize something? Usually by beating it repeatedly. Ever seen a meat tenderizer? They come in different varieties, but almost always they have some kind of prongs or texturized surface. Ours is a very scary looking hammer. If you want to cook some really tender meat, you beat the meat repeatedly with the scary hammer. How do we become tender? By being beating, spiritually, emotionally, sometimes physically. By undergoing trials and adversity.

I once wrote about the three sources of trials and adversity in this life. Suffering is usually caused either by our own sins, the sins of others, or just by the natural conditions of this world. The suffering I experienced when my brother passed away was part of the natural conditions of this world. No one made him get cancer. His cancer wasn’t a result of some sin he committed. It just happened. It was tragic and painful, but it just happened. This trial is hard for me because I can’t help feeling like I am suffering it because of a sin I committed. I keep wanting to simply repent and make it better – but I can’t because it isn’t my sin to repent of.

Elder Hales said, “In this mortal life, each of us is going to experience pain in one form or another… It often comes as a result of our disobedience to the commandments of God, but it also comes to those who are doing all they can to keep their lives in line with the example of the Savior.” I have been spending all this time thinking that this kind of pain shouldn’t come to me because of the way I was living my life. I made good choices, so I shouldn’t have to experience this trial. But life doesn’t work that way. All the good choices I could ever make can’t stop others from making bad choices.

I really liked the last part of Elder Hales’ talk where he talked about how important caregivers are as we are experiencing pain. “There are times when, no matter how independent we may be, we must entrust others with our care. We must surrender ourselves to them. Our caregivers are those who assist in the healing process.”

If you know anything about me, you know that I am fiercely independent, strong willed, and incredibly head strong. In fact, earlier this year when my husband was gone on frequent business trips a member of our Relief Society presidency called me and asked if I needed anything. She commented that she wasn’t too worried about me because she could tell how independent I am, but she wanted me to know that they were there if I needed anything. I told her that she’s right, I can take care of everything, but it was nice to know they were thinking about me (and it was – it always helps me take care of myself when I know people are thinking of me).

So “surrendering” to outside help is something I would not consider doing. Last fall when I was having some emotional issues my husband made me see a therapist a few times. I would never have made the appointments on my own. A few months ago I finally broke down and talked to the bishop. It felt good to talk to him and get counsel, but I didn’t go back, thinking I could take care of it from there.

This week I am going to work on finding some caregivers. A person in chronic pain probably sees a doctor regularly. I think I should probably learn to surrender to some caregivers.

Surrendering to the ultimate Caregiver is probably going to be the hardest thing for me. Elder Hales said,

The Lord is our ultimate caregiver. We must surrender ourselves to the Lord. In doing so, we give up whatever is causing our pain and turn everything over to Him. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee”. “And then may God grand unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son”. Through faith and trust in the Lord and obedience to His counsel, we make ourselves eligible to be partakers of the Atonement of Jesus Christ so that one day we may return to live with Him.

Giving up the thing that is causing me pain is going to feel like defeat. I don’t know how not to feel like it is. I don’t know how not to feel like I have somehow failed. I don’t know how to do it, and I am pretty sure that is the thing causing me the most pain.

The Title of Liberty and the Anti-Nephi-Lehis

Note: This post was originally published on November 18, 2010. I was reminded of some thoughts I had in this post when Paul at A Latter-day Voice wrote about the Anti-Nephi-Lehis. I forgot that I had written about it on this blog until I was looking through some of my first posts on this blog and I found this one. I think the story of the ANL's is one worth discussing in depth, and I enjoyed Paul's insights. If you're itching to read something after you read this, head over and check out his post. It was very good.

I was reading in the Book of Mormon last night (and honestly I’ve been in the same chapter for about 5 nights, because I’ve been so tired it’s been all I could do to read just one verse). I’ve been reading about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies(ANLs) and last night I got to the part where the Lamanites came against the ANLs in war, and the ANLs “prostrated themselves before [the Lamanites] to the earth, and began to call on the name of the Lord...” A few verses later we read that “the people of God were joined that day by more than the number who had been slain; and those who had been slain were righteous people ... there was not a wicked man slain among them; but there were more than a thousand brought to the knowledge of the truth; thus we see that the Lord worketh in many ways to the salvation of his people.” We also learn that the people who were converted were “actual descendents of Laman and Lemuel” and not other “mixed breeds” of Lamanites (Amalekites or Amulonites or those after the order of the Nehors).

This time reading the story of the ANLs, I was impressed with the statement that more people joined the ranks of God than were slain, and the only people that were slain were righteous people.

Should we all just lay down our weapons of war and let the wicked kill us?

The first thing I thought of when that question popped into my mind was of Captain Moroni raising the title of liberty.

In the Book of Mormon, Moroni is described this way: “Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.”

He is the one who “rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it—In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children—and he fastened it upon the end of a pole.”

So obviously, Moroni was a righteous man. So righteous that if every man was like Moroni, Satan would have no power over our hearts. Now there’s righteousness if I ever saw it.

But I had just thought the same thing about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies! So how can both laying down your weapons of war and taking up your weapons of war be righteous actions? Doesn’t that seem contradictory? We should either lay down our weapons of war to be righteous or take them up to be righteous.

How do we decide whether to fight, or whether to lay down our lives?

My next thought was that perhaps it isn’t the fighting for your lives that is bad, but just that the ANLs had chosen their weapons of war, and bloodshed, to be their chosen sign for their covenant of conversion with Heavenly Father. What if instead they had chosen to never take the Lords name in vain again, or if they had covenanted that they would always pray two times a day? What if they hadn’t covenanted to lay down their weapons of war? Well, think of all the thousand people who were converted because the ANLs did lay down their weapons of war. Those people probably would have been killed in their wickedness (because the ANLs were pretty fierce warriors, it seems like). That makes me never want any LDS member of the military anywhere to fight and kill.

But didn’t Captain Moroni and his fellow captains and soldier kill many wicked men in their wickedness?

I guess I just want to know that the ANLs were doing what was right, letting the Lamanites attack and kill them, but also that Captain Moroni was right in fighting for his family and children. And what about Nephi killing Laban? Sometimes wicked people are spared, and sometimes they are killed.

In my search for truth I found a neat article about this subject by Eugene England, a Mormon scholar and former professor at BYU.

He says this: “Like Moroni, Mormon refused to let the long, desperate fighting lead him to bloodthirstiness; instead, as the Lord directed him, he resigned his command to stand by ‘as an idle witness’ when their wickedness led them to fight in a spirit of vengeance.”

Perhaps because the ANLs had been so bloodthirsty before their conversion (killing just for the sake of killing), they chose their weapons of war and bloodshed for the sign of their covenant with Heavenly Father. Kind of like a recovering alcoholic who never takes another drink – even a sip – for fear it will turn them back to their alcoholic ways.

This probably speaks about the righteousness of captain Moroni – that he didn’t let all the warfare and bloodshed make him bloodthirsty, and when his soldiers became wicked and fought for vengeance instead of for freedom,  he stood idly by instead of fighting with them. Perhaps the ANLs were worried that if they ever fought again for their own lives and the lives of their families, once that righteous desire was obtained, they would want to avenge the deaths of their brethren.

My husband and I talk about the seeming paradox between the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” and Nephi killing Laban, and captain Moroni leading his men into battle. However, there is no paradox. Commandments (especially Mosaic law) are God’s way of keeping us out of trouble. Because we should not kill people, but God may use us as instruments to save others, or in the case of Nephi, to save a nation. Even when God gave the commandment “thou shalt not kill,” he still later led His people into battle, or instructed them to wipe out entire peoples. I think God also wants us to understand the grave responsibility of taking another person’s life. Two of the three most abominable sins have to do with life – wrongfully using our power to create life, and wrongfully using our power to take life. Human life is so important to Heavenly Father.

So I think that as long as we have not made a covenant with God not to take up arms, and as long as we are not bloodthirsty, and are not killing for revenge (for “vengeance is mine, Saith the Lord”), it is absolutely righteous for us to take up arms and go to war “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children”.

What do you think about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies and captain Moroni and other righteous people who waged war in defense of their families, freedoms, and religion? Do you think there is a hard and fast rule to when we should lay down our weapons and when we should take them up?

We Are All BORN BRAVE {CD Giveaway!!}

The last time I did a giveaway on this blog was almost a year ago(!) in celebration of me writing the 100th blog post for this blog. Since then I have written nearly 200 more posts and the readership of the blog has grown at about the same rate! I’d say it’s definitely time for a giveaway, and thanks to YourLDSRadio.com, I’ve got a couple of great CDs to give away this month.
YourLDSRadio is an online streaming radio station that provides constant uplifting music, mostly from LDS composers and artists, although I was just listening and they played I Hope You Dance by LeAnn Womack, so it looks like they throw in some other stuff every now and then. If you’re looking for some nice background music you know is safe to listen to with the kids around, this would probably be it.

If there’s one thing you should know about me it is that I love music. Now, I am not your average music lover. I love music. I get emotional when I am listening to music – just about any music. Seriously, The Itsy Bitsy Spider can get me choked up. I don’t know what it is, but music speaks to me in a way that nothing else ever has or probably ever will. It may be the reason why I end up being the choir director in every ward I attend. I am passionate about music. I believe that music is a very spiritual thing – and can be used to uplift, or to tear down.

When YourLDSRadio contacted me and asked if I would like to review a few CDs for them, and give a few away on the blog, I jumped at the chance.



The first CD I listened to was Katherine Nelson’s new CD, Born Brave. I popped it into my CD player and pressed play. At first I almost cringed. Country? I’m not a huge country fan. A few of my favorite songs these days are a little more country, but I’m still not all about the country music. But it didn’t take long for the catchy tunes, pick-me-up beat, and uplifting words of Katherine’s songs to get me moving. Her album is officially my first country album, and it’s probably my favorite album (of all of them).
The feel of Katherine’s music reminds me a little bit of Kelly Clarkson’s the “girl power” songs. But much less angry. Each song I listen to on this album makes me feel more empowered. I feel like she really gets what it means to be a woman – and that there are so many different faces of women who need to feel empowered.


You know how you listen to an album and you usually have one or two favorites from the album? Not so with Katherine. I love every single one of her songs. The ones that move me the most (remember, I cry when I hear music) are “Good for Me” and “What’s Mine is Yours”.

The lyrics for the chorus of “Good for Me” are especially poignant for me. I studied math and physics in college. I always thought I would be an engineer. Or maybe an accountant or businesswoman. Some days I thought about going to law school after my undergraduate studies. I would have been a “courageous woman out there in shiny shoes and business suits.” But there was something else I needed to do – which doesn’t mean that there aren’t women out there who should be out there in the world. Good for them. But there is a significant work to be done in homes, and if people think that a woman who “gives up” a career in order to raise a family is “doing it all wrong”, my house isn’t a place to do it – I’m doing it all right. And good for me.

“Here’s to courageous women out there in shiny shoes and business suits
Good for you
But hats off to the women in the kitchen who run the world
Raising boys and girls.”

The story behind, and in, “What’s Mine is Yours” is about infertility, pregnancy and infant loss, and giving up children for adoption. I’ve never personally been in that situation, and I honestly don’t know if I would be able to survive such a trial. My heart feels like breaking when I hear of the heartache of others who lose children, and I just can’t imagine going through it myself. I am positive I would die of a broken heart.
However, the chorus of this song seems to go beyond that for me. It is about giving up what we think we want for what God really wants for us.

“What’s mine is yours
It’s always been
What slips through my hands has your fingerprints on it
I’m letting go
Remembering
Though Heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours”

I think about Emma Smith and how everything she had she gave to the Lord – what’s hers was his, and she understood that. I want to have faith to be able to truly say to God “What’s mine is yours”. That is definitely a brave thing to do.

Speaking of Emma Smith, one of the songs on this album is about Emma, who was probably the bravest woman who ever lived, except maybe Mary, the mother of Christ. I had actually heard this song on The Nashville Tribute Band’s CD “Joseph: A Nashville Tribute to the Prophet” that I won in a giveaway last summer, and it quickly became my favorite song – especially because I was going through a particularly hard time in my life when I felt like I “couldn’t let the world see [me] cry”, and “Every time your life turned a page, It seemed like your heart might break.” Now I don’t want to compare my trials to those of Emma, but we all have times in our lives when that is true – when each turn of life’s pages seems like it brings more heartache and sorrow, and we wonder, when will be our joy?
The line of Emma’s song that really does a number on me says, “And I’m sure your heart breaks When some people still say Somewhere down the line you lost your faith.”

It’s a really powerful song, and is one I’ll listen to on repeat for hours (okay, maybe not that long, but you get the idea). I actually like the Nashville Tribute version better, sung by Mindy Gledhill, but perhaps that’s just because it was the first one I heard. I think it has more to do with the instrumentals than with the vocals (the Nashville Tribute’s instrumentals are more robust than Katherine’s). But the song is just as powerful – and almost more powerful because it’s coupled with all the other songs on this amazing CD.

(random interesting tidbit – I wanted to listen to Katherine’s CD while I wrote this review, so I typed in “Katherine Nelson” on iTunes so it would bring up her album. Who would’ve known, she also sang two of my very favorite EFY songs from my EFY days! I love it when I find out amazing people wrote or sang my favorite songs.)

Want a chance to win this amazing CD? Well, here’s your chance, thanks to Your LDS Radio. I’ve got one copy of Katherine’s new CD to give away – so you can rock out to some uplifting “girl power” music!

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment on this post telling me about a time when you or another woman you know showed that they were BORN BRAVE.

The giveaway will end on Monday August 13, 2012 at 11:59pm. The winner will be chosen by a random number generator at random.org. I will post the winner on Tuesday, August 14 so check back then to see if you have won!

This giveaway is closed.

Equality and the War on Gender

I went through a few different titles for this post, thinking about what I was going to write: Women and the Priesthood, Women and Equality, Culture vs Doctrine, Feminist or Disciple of Christ? I hope this title describes the post accurately.

My mind has been really full lately. This post, I think, is really just me trying to sort out all those thoughts.

I am not sure what piqued my interest in the Mormon feminist movement, but I am pretty sure it had something to do with all the talk about Joanna Brooks’ book and Ralph Hancock’s responses and critiques of the book. It may have been a post I read on Segullah about the “war on womanhood”. Regardless, a few months ago I started doing a lot of thinking about equality, gender, and the doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I also started thinking about the way women (and men) in the Church seem to misunderstand the fundamental doctrines of Jesus Christ.

Manhood/Womanhood vs Discipleship

A commenter on the Segullah post said, “I don’t think in terms of womanhood and manhood. We are all children of God with eternal potential. There is nothing uniquely female about the godly characteristics I am asked to develop.” I agree with this in a major way. In the Church’s handbook for parents there is a section that talks about teaching children to accept and understand their gender roles. If you are unfamiliar with the A Parent’s Guide, I will point out that it was published in 1985 and has not been revised since. When I read this section yesterday I was fully expecting to read about how the Church encourages stereotypical gender roles, such as cooking and cleaning for women, and college and job skills for men. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Church has been teaching equality of the genders at least since the mid-80s, but obviously the doctrine of Jesus Christ has been around for longer than that, and as “all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33), this doctrine of equality has been part of the gospel since before any women’s movements.

A quote from the book that supports the commenter at Segullah says, “There are many patterns of behavior that are appropriate for all people. Everyone, male and female, is invited to examine the character of Jesus Christ and emulate him … Among the traits Christ revealed as proper for men and women alike are faith, hope, charity, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, kindness, godliness, humility, diligence, and love. These virtues transcend gender. They are Christlike attributes to which both sexes should aspire … Spiritual gifts, as described in Doctrine and Covenants 46, are not restricted to one gender either. Included are gifts of knowledge, belief, administration, organization, healing, and discernment.” There is more of the same through the section, including statements such as, “You should provide opportunities for your children to develop talents in various directions unhindered by improper stereotypes … Teach your daughters and your sons to seek opportunities to learn and to exploit every such opportunity fully … Boys must learn basic domestic skills, and girls must be able to earn a living if necessary.”

Gender as an Eternal Characteristic

However, the same guide says, “members of the Church must not be deceived about one immutable truth: there is eternal significance in being a man or a woman.” And recall that in The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” So, if gender is so important, but each gender is equally expected (by Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father) to develop all of the characteristics of Christ (many of which, ironically, are “naturally” attribute to women) and any of the spiritual gifts available to God’s children, then what is the difference between the genders?

The same commenter at Segullah pointed out this problem we often encounter in trying to learn and teach about the significance of gender, “Our efforts to teach women of their spiritual equality often overreach into expressions of otherness, specialness, or even betterness [than men]. If we truly believed we were equal in God’s eyes we wouldn’t need to find ways to feel set apart or special.”

So, how do you teach the importance of gender and identity while staying away from expressions of “otherness” and “betterness”?

When Equality Gets in the Way

Equality is a hard principle. What does it really mean? Does equality mean that we should all be the same? Does it mean that everyone should have the exact some opportunities in this life? Does it mean that we should all be treated the exact same? Children should be treated like adults, young adults should be treated like mature adults, the elderly should be treated like young adults?

What does equality really mean? What do we really want when we say we want “equality for women”?

Men today are pressured to be worldly. They are pressured to neglect their families for their jobs, often using their families as an excuse for how much they work. They are pressured to provide the luxuries of the world for their families.

Image Credit: Alex E. Proimos

Families are used by the world as an excuse for men to focus on their jobs and careers, rather than focus on their family. It seems like the opinion of women is, “Why do we only pressure men to be worldly? I want pressure to be worldly, too!” That’s not what they say, but think about it – as women we are not fighting for men to come home, man up, and protect and lead their families. Instead we are fighting for women to be pressured to do more outside the home. We want equality, but we want it in the wrong direction. We are sick of the stereotype of women being housewives and staying at home and doing the laundry while our husbands are out smoking cigars and going to bars with their coworkers and bosses. Should we instead be sick of the stereotype of men being workaholics, spending more time pursuing their careers than spending time with their families?

Is our fight for equality perhaps pushing all of us in the wrong direction?

Manhood/Womanhood and Discipleship

Although there are cultural stereotypes for gender roles which, as members of Christ’s Church we should not espouse, gender is still a significant part of our creation.

In the world today I think that some would like to remove all distinction between the genders. In fact, we are moving at an alarming rate toward a society where you can choose your gender. You can choose to marry someone of the same gender, as if there isn’t a reason why we were created male and female. It was just chance, or it was a mistake nature or God made. If you don’t like it, don’t be that gender, don’t follow the “gender roles” of that gender (and I don’t mean the stereotypical ones here, I mean the we-need-a-man’s-reproductive-organs-and-a-woman’s-reproductive-organs-to-make-babies roles).

Why would we be created the way we are if there wasn’t a reason for it? There is a reason for it. Gender is essential to our identity as children of God. I am just still learning exactly what that means.

From the proclamation again, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

What does this really mean, though? I do not think it means what a lot of people think it means. I do not think it means that men or women are necessarily more naturally inclined to perform their divinely appointed roles. I take this as more of a commandment. Rather than God saying, “Women, you are more naturally predisposed to nurturing, so you guys nurture. Men, you are more predisposed to protecting your families and earning a living, so you guys do that.” I think what God is saying is more like, “Regardless of what your ‘natural’ tendencies are, I want you, women, to nurture children. Men, I want you to provide a safe environment for women to do that, and make sure women and children are clothed and fed and sheltered, and help her out in the nurturing.”

My husband and I have talked at length about this. As far as providing for a family goes, I could make probably two or three times my husband’s income. But my husband has been commanded to provide for his family, and we feel that it is really important for him to do that. Staying home with kids and being nurturing is hard for me, even though I know a lot about raising kids (from a research stand point – not from experience). I can deal with workplace stress a lot easier than I can deal with children-induced stress. But we feel that it is really important that I learn how to nurture our children, even though I would rather provide for our family than nurture our family, and my husband would rather have it be that way, too.

I am aware that there are individual circumstances, but as with every other area in the gospel where there is an “ideal” we should not be looking for reasons to not live the ideal. Nor should we judge others who are not living the ideal for whatever reason.

Questions Without Answers

I’ve been asking a lot of questions in the past few months, and I don’t have all the answers yet – and I was hoping that I would have more answers as I wrote this post, but they seem to elude me. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings, and especially quotes from talks or scripture passages that help you answer these questions. Maybe I can find some more answers, too.

The Opportunity and the Treasure

(find the talks here – Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church – and here – The Opportunity of a Lifetime)

Over at Diapers and Divinity, we’re winding down General Conference Book Club (GCBC) – finishing up the last few talks in time for April General Conference! Who’s excited?! I am so ready for General Conference again. I think I get this way just before General Conference. It’s kind of the same feeling I get a few weeks before my birthday or Christmas. That excitement in the pit of my stomach that fills me up and makes it hard to think about anything else.

Okay, I know – I’m a Conference nerd. I know it.

Well, one thing I kind of miss when I’m participating in Steph’s GCBC is studying the talks from the Priesthood session as well as from the Relief Society and Young Women General Sessions. So when I noticed the talk for this week was Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church it reminded me of a talk I have been listening to from the Priesthood session called The Opportunity of a Lifetime (which has been on my mind lately anyway). So I decided to study both for this week, and I am glad that I did.

Your Mission – the Best Two Years For Your Life

While I liked Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita’s talk, it wasn’t one of those “Wow, this is amazing!” talks for me. However, Elder W. Christopher Waddell’s? Like candy. Especially because around the time leading up to October General Conference I had kind of got on to my husband for saying things like “On my mission I studied the gospel all the time.” “On my mission I was such a good time manager.” etc etc. Finally I told him, “Well, you know, you were supposed to be learning those things on your mission so you could do them for the rest of your life. For instance… when you became a husband and father.”

Elder Waddell talked about how to apply your mission to the rest of your life. I loved how Elder Matthew Richardson said it was “the best two years for [his] life.” Elder Waddell echoed that sentiment in his talk. He likened missionary service to the sacrifice of the unspotted lamb of the Passover, but how simply sacrificing the animal wasn’t good enough – the blood had to be applied to the door posts. This is where my husband has been struggling to apply his mission to his life now. Elder Waddell said “the ongoing blessings associated with missionary service require application after the sacrifice.” One way he encouraged his missionaries to “apply” the sacrifice of their mission to their lives was to have them “take time to consider the lessons and gifts provided to them by a generous Father in Heaven. They were asked to prayerfully list and consider how to best apply those lessons in a post-mission life”. However, Elder Waddell went on to say that, “there is no returned missionary for whom it is too late to consider the lessons obtained through faithful service and to apply them more diligently.”

The Lord Knows Where He Wants You To Serve

In Elder Waddell’s talk he mentioned that “Prophets, seers, and revelators assign missionaries under the direction and influence of the Holy Ghost.” If you have ever wondered exactly how this happens, I encourage you to read a talk give in the Priesthood Session of April 2010 General Conference given by Elder Ronald A. Rasband called “The Divine Call of a Missionary” – you won’t be disappointed. It is a really touching talk, and if you received a mission call and didn’t think it was where you should go, his talk will definitely remedy that emotion!

If you ever served a mission in a “hard” area with not many baptisms, or felt like you didn’t make a difference in your mission, please read Elder Waddell’s talk. His story of Elder Misiego is poignant and powerful and it is definitely a testimony that “the Lord knows where He wants each missionary to serve.”

I wrote a bunch more about these talks and how they applied to motherhood, but then the post started getting too long, and I am trying not to have overwhelmingly long posts, so I decided to post them separately, and I will probably post the motherhood one later this week.

Did you serve a mission? Did you feel like it was the best two years for your life? Did you feel like the Lord had called you to your specific mission purposefully? How did you prepare for your mission?

The Importance of a Name

(find the talk here)

This talk inspired me to make this with Photoshop. I’m not great with Photoshop, but I think it turned out okay. I loved how Elder M. Russell Ballard dissected the name of the Church and talked about the significance of every part – even the seemingly insignificant article “The” at the beginning of the name.

 (please feel free to share this image, pin it, whatever – just make sure to give credit)

I was also somewhat pleased that Elder Ballard’s talk was kind of a follow-up and clarification of President Boyd K. Packer’s talk in April 2011 General Conference when he talked about how important it was to use the full and proper name of the Church and to refer to ourselves as “members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” or simple “Latter-day Saints.” I know many people wondered what was going to happen to the Church’s “I’m a Mormon” campaign, so I am glad that Elder Ballard clarified that for now, it wasn’t going anywhere, but it’s purpose was to teach people who “Mormons” really are (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

Elder Ballard said, “I have thought a lot about why the Savior gave the nine-word name to His restored Church. It may seem long, but if we think of it as a descriptive overview of what the Church is, it suddenly becomes wonderfully brief,candid, and straightforward.” I am sure many people wonder why the Lord decided to give His Church such a mouthful of a name, but, like Elder Ballard pointed out, it is wonderfully descriptive, and rather brief, when you look at all it really says (see image above).

“I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Because we believe in the Book of Mormon, which is named after an ancient American prophet-leader and is another testament of Jesus Christ, we are sometimes called Mormons.” I hope that I get the opportunity to use this response to the question “Do you belong to the Mormon Church?” I believe this response can also be appropriate when asked the question “Are you Mormon?” It’s wonderfully succinct and hits all the important points, while validating the person’s question.

Elder Ballard said, “Surely it would be easier for [people] to understand that we believe in and follow the Savior if we referred to ourselves as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” Just think of how the media coverage might be different today if we had spent the last 100+ years referring to ourselves as “members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”? I do understand that when the Church was first organized it was important to distinguish us from other Christians – and that is still important. We don’t mind being “different” Christians – in fact, it’s the best part of our Church – we are not just another protestant religion. We belong to the restored Church of Jesus Christ.

“The Savior’s name is the only name under heaven by which man can be saved.”

“Do we realize how blessed we are to take upon us the name of God’s Beloved and Only Begotten Son? Do we understand how significant that is?” Do you refer to yourself as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? How do you tell people about the full name of the Church?

The Time Shall Come

(find the talk here)

I have been reading a lot lately about prophesies and their fulfillment. Maybe I was motivated to study the fulfillment of prophesy because I have been reading in Matthew, and that gospel is basically an accounting of all the prophesies that were fulfilled by the life of Christ.

Elder L. Whitney Clayton’s talk pointed out the fulfillment of several prophesies concerning the growth of the Church. I have always loved this quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith, “You know no more concerning the destinies of this Church and kingdom than a babe upon its mother’s lap… this Church will fill North and South America—it will fill the world.” I can’t even imagine being among the members there at that meeting – and now, that prophesy has come true. This Church is indeed filling the world. It is incredible!

President Hinckley’s prophesy is just as amazing, though we have not completely seen if fulfilled at this time. He said, “We have scarcely scratched the surface. …Our work knows no boundaries. … Those nations now closed to us will someday be open.” It will be amazing to see nations opened for missionary work that are close to us today. The nation I am most excited for is China. Can you imagine what will happen when China is opened for missionary work? I can only imagine the rapid growth that will happen there.

I saw this video once in a Sunday School class years ago, and it was amazing to watch the growth of the Church happen right before your eyes.

“This work of the Lord is indeed great and marvelous, but it moves forward essentially unnoticed by many of mankind’s political, cultural, and academic leaders.” It is ironic that the growth of the Church has been so rapid, so world-encompassing, and yet people have hardly noticed. I loved that Elder Clayton pointed out “It progresses one heart and one family at a time,silently and unobtrusively, its sacred message blessing people everywhere.” This is probably the reason the growth goes unnoticed. There are not huge mass baptisms. Large groups of people don’t join the Church all at once. Conversion is a personal event, something that happens to one person’s heart. And as each person joins the Church and begins living the gospel, other hearts are touched. The Lord’s work progresses on an exceptionally personal level - “one heart and one family at a time.”

“Our most important message, which we are both divinely commissioned and commanded to take everywhere in the world, is that there is a Savior. He lived in the meridian of time. He atoned for our sins, was crucified, and was resurrected. That matchless message, which we proclaim with authority from God, is the real reason this Church grows as it does.” At our Regional Stake Conference yesterday, Elder David A. Bednar talked about this principle. We cannot be converted to programs, people, or policies. We are converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ – which is that He lives and that He atoned for our sins. Sometimes I think that we lose sight of the “most important message” of the Church. We need to remember that our message is of the Savior – and that is the message that we need to take to the world.

When we think about the gospel we need to remember that “this mighty latter-day work is not about [us]. It is the work of Almighty God and His Son, the Prince of Peace.” This work isn’t about the Prophet Joseph Smith – it isn’t about any of the prophets, it isn’t about us, it isn’t about our neighbors, our bishop, or anyone else – this work is about our Father and His Son. We are humble recipients of what they have to offer us, and their work will go forth regardless of our imperfections. Yesterday Elder Bednar testified that He alone does not have any of the capacity or ability to be an apostle – but that through the atonement of the Savior and through the power of the Holy Ghost, he is made to be more than he is. I loved Elder Bednar’s thoughts about that and I think they fit in with Elder Clayton’s testimony that this work is God’s work. We participate in God’s work as we allow the Savior to make us more than we are – and God does his work through us, but it is still God’s work. And we would do well to remember that.

In what ways have you seen prophesy fulfilled around you? In the world? Do you remember that this work is God’s work? Have you felt your abilities and capacities enlarged through the Lord?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

The Sabbath Part V – Worthy and Holy Activities

(This is Part V of a five part series on The Sabbath)

Several months ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a recent convert to the Church. I mentioned something about not going to the pool on Sunday, and she said to me, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” My friend was sincerely wanting to learn more about the Sabbath, and later when she and her boys moved in with us for a few weeks, we had an opportunity to talk more about the Sabbath.

The first thing that struck me when she asked, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” was that word “can’t.” To me, it’s not as much about can’t  as it is about don’t. We don’t go to the pool (or participate in other recreational activities) on the Sabbath because we are too busy participating in “worthy and holy activities.” President Kimball said, “The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things.” Of course, that leaves us with the question “What is a worthy or holy activity?”

When the Church reorganized the meeting schedule to have only the three hour block of meetings on Sunday, they issued some instruction about what to do with all the time they would now have on the Sabbath. When before, families were attending meetings or traveling between meetings nearly all Sunday long, now they would attend their three hour block, then have the rest of the day to choose their activities. “Because the new schedule will give families time together on Sundays, parents will want to plan activities for the Sabbath that will spiritually strengthen the family.” So there is the key – worthy and holy activities will be those that spiritually strengthen families.

The Family Home Evening Manual has a really good “test” for Sabbath day activities. “To determine whether a specific activity is appropriate, ask, ‘Does it bring me closer to my Heavenly Father?’” This should be a pretty easy question to answer,  but the answer for this question might not be the same for every person. Each of us must ask this question about our own situation. Prayerfully ask this question, and you will probably be keeping the Sabbath day holy.

President Kimball had some suggestions for appropriate Sabbath day activities. “The Sabbath … is a day for consistent attendance at meetings for the worship of the Lord, drinking at the fountain of knowledge and instruction, enjoying the family, and finding uplift in music and song.” He also said that to observe the Sabbath day, “one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected.”

The Church News listed some good suggestions as well.

[Families] may wish to spend some time with the family each Sunday in gospel discussion and instruction, under the direction of the head of the household. They may use the scriptures, the most recent general conference talks, family home evening manuals, Church publications, and other publications as a resource.

Other appropriate Sunday activities include (1) writing personal and family journals, (2) holding family councils, (3) establishing and maintaining family organizations for the immediate and extended family, (4) personal interviews between parents and children, (5) writing to relatives and missionaries, (6) genealogy, (7) visiting relatives and those who are ill or lonely, (8) missionary work, (9) reading stories to children, and (10)singing Church hymns.

As somewhat of an illustration of what is not appropriate for the Sabbath, President Kimball shared this story, “A seminary group planned a service in the mountains on Sunday. They felt justified in the have their meeting and enjoyed a spiritual hour together, but after that hour the day became a day for picnicking, games, hiking,and climbing, with no further thought of the Sabbath. The one hour of devotion did not make of that day a holy day.” We have to make sure that we don’t fall into the mindset of being able to whatever we want to on the Sabbath just because we spent a few hours meditating and studying the gospel.

Further, the Church News article stated, “Many activities are not appropriate on the Sabbath day, such as gardening, family parties, and household projects. Families may wish to plan family household and recreational activities for Saturday or other weekdays when parents are home with their children.” I thought it was interesting that they included “family parties” in this, because I know many people who use Sunday dinner as an excuse to get all the family together, but often that means getting together for a very labor-intensive meal, followed by chatting, games, movies, or other not-so-appropriate Sunday activities. It would be one thing if a mother and father had all their grown children over on the Sabbath for a light dinner (think sandwiches, or a crockpot soup prepared the night before, or a casserole or something prepared the night before) and followed their dinner with a gospel discussion, reading from the scriptures and the words of the prophets, or watching Church videos about Christ and the plan of salvation. But too often, “visiting family” on the Sabbath turns into a chance to “play” with your family, watch a movie together, and partaking in worldly activities.

Our situations are all different, and that is the beauty of personal revelation. The Lord can help us find, through revelation, the activities that are appropriate for the Sabbath and the things that will bring us closer to Him and help us worship Him on His holy day. Whether you are single, married with no children, a part member family, or a grandma and grandpa with many grown children, you can still put forth an effort to keep the Sabbath day holy, and the Lord will bless your efforts.

The prophet Isaiah taught

If thou turn away … from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways,nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

The Sabbath day isn’t a day to deprive us of “fun” things – it is a day for us to practice putting our will in line with the Lord’s will, finding the things that He would have us do, and growing closer to Him in the process.

What a blessing it is that the Lord would set aside an entire day so that we can devote all that time to growing closer to Him without having to worry about all our worldly cares!

So this Sunday, as you plan activities with your family, ask yourself, “Does it bring me closer to Heavenly Father?”

What kinds of activities do you participate in on the Sabbath? Do you have specific struggles that make Sabbath day observance a challenge?

Part IV

LDS Women Are Incredible!

(find the talk here)

Being a woman, of course I enjoyed this talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook! While he did spend a lot of time extolling the wonderful qualities of women, I was also impressed with how strongly Elder Cook testified of the divine role of women, and their significance in God’s kingdom.

“God placed within women divine qualities of strength, virtue, love, and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of His spirit children.” Sometimes I don’t feel very strong, virtuous, or loving, but I do have a persistent desire to raise generations of God’s spirit children. Since I was young I have wanted to have many children of my own, as well as help to teach and love any child I come in contact with. I was talking with my husband on Sunday about my profound regard for children, and my sincere belief in their innocence, and our sacred duty to help them return to Heavenly Father. It seems like the desire in me to love, teach, and protect children comes from a place beyond my own desires. Elder Cook says that God placed it inside me, and I believe that He has.

Elder Cook went on to talk about equality between men and women. I attended a class from Brother Richard Miller at BYU Campus Education Week about the Patriarchal Order and Equality in Marriage. It was very enlightening and gave me a completely new perspective on equality between a husband and wife, and the patriarchal order. The two doctrines sound contradictory, but when you fully understand them, they make complete sense and give the marriage relationship a completely different meaning.

I thought it was interesting when Elder Cook mentioned that “Women by divine nature have the greater gift and responsibility for home and children and nurturing there and in other settings” but instead of going on to talk about how women should stay home with their kids rather than work outside the home, he mentioned how amazing it was that faithful latter day saint women in the pioneer era would take their children and leave their homes and travel across the continent. It gave me a new understanding of my responsibility to nurture my children “in other settings.”

Going back to the patriarchal order and the Priesthood, I loved Elder Cook’s comment about the Priesthood and women working together, “it is a beautiful thing to see the priesthood and the Relief Society work in perfect harmony. Such a relationship is like a well-tuned orchestra, and the resulting symphony inspires all of us.”

Elder Cook did a good job of reminding me that even though my work in the home is not paid monetarily, and may have no economic compensation, the eternal blessings I receive from being a righteous mother are more significant. I frequently find myself wondering if my husband and I made the right decision to have children as early as we did. What if we had waited and I had started a career and been a career woman for a while? Sure it would have put us in a better financial position. But would it have been worth it, spiritually? We knew that our ultimate calling in this life is to raise children up to the Lord. Could we have postponed fulfilling that calling simply to have a little more money when we did? We are learning to live frugally, within our means, and we are raising beautiful children to the Lord. Elder Cook said, “no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children.” Sometimes I feel like I could make a greater contribution to society outside the home, but Elder Cook testifies that my contribution to society inside the home is much more significant, both in this life and in the next.

It is really easy to judge women who choose to work out of the home, just as it is easy to judge women who choose not to work out of the home. One of the chief principles of the gospel is that of agency and accountability. “Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions.” This principle is repeated several times in the Church Handbook of Instructions when talking about Church policies. We make our own decisions, and we are accountable for our actions. We can never blame anyone but ourselves, and we must make sure that we carefully make choices – and try to make the righteous choice.

Do you find yourself discounting your contribution as a wife and mother? Do you sometimes find yourself judging women who make choices differently than you do? Do you feel the divine qualities of “strength, virtue, love, and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of His spirit children”?

Find more great comments on Elder Cook’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

“To This End Was I Born”

(find the lesson here)

And here I thought writing about Gethsemane was going to be hard. This week’s lesson is on the crucifixion, and I’m sure I will do it even less justice than I did the first part of the atonement. But I do have a testimony of Christ’s atonement, so I will share what I have learned and what stood out to me, and then just bear my simple testimony – since that is just about all I can do.

I pointed this out last week, but I think it is important enough to point out again. Jesus Christ’s life was not taken, and the sins of the world were not put upon him. He, of Himself, took upon himself the sins of the world, and He, of Himself, gave His life. At any time during the life of Christ He could have stopped what was happening. He could have ascended into Heaven. He had the power to stop the Jews from taking Him. He had the power to save Himself from the cross. And yet, He didn’t. He gave His life for us.

In the Garden, when Peter wanted to fight the men who came to take the Savior, Christ said to Peter, “Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” (here) Christ knew what had to be done, and He was willing. “Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?” The Savior testified of His own power by reminding Peter that He could save Himself if He wanted to. Jesus didn’t need Peter to fight for His life – for He was willing to give it.

When the Savior asked the priests what they wanted of Him, He asked them why they never took Him when He had been teaching in the temples. He reminded them that “in secret have I said nothing.” Christ was not trying to be sneaky. He wanted the whole world, and all the Jews, to hear His message and accept Him as Christ. He had been very visible.

When the Savior was taken from the garden of Gethsemane, His disciples “forsook him, and fled” – all but Peter and John who stayed with Him as the priests took Him to trial. Later, Peter denied Christ three times, which Christ had prophesied would happen. Because I can’t say it any better the President Hinckley did, and because I completely agree with President Hinckley, I will just include this quote from him:

“My heart goes out to Peter. So many of us are so much like him. We pledge our loyalty; we affirm our determination to be of good courage; we declare, sometimes even publicly, that come what may we will do the right thing, that we will stand for the right cause, that we will be true to ourselves and to others.

“Then the pressures begin to build. Sometimes these are social pressures. Sometimes they are personal appetites. Sometimes they are false ambitions. There is a weakening of the will. There is a softening of discipline. There is capitulation. And then there is remorse, followed by self-accusation and bitter tears of regret. …

“… If there be those throughout the Church who by word or act have denied the faith, I pray that you may draw comfort and resolution from the example of Peter, who, though he had walked daily with Jesus, in an hour of extremity momentarily denied the Lord and also the testimony which he carried in his own heart. But he rose above this and became a mighty defender and a powerful advocate. So, too, there is a way for any person to turn about and add his or her strength and faith to the strength and faith of others in building the kingdom of God” (“And Peter Went Out and Wept Bitterly,” Ensign, Mar. 1995, 2–4, 6).

Peter didn’t deny Christ and then run away. Peter denied Christ in a moment of extreme emotional and spiritual turmoil – for all of the disciples. But later, Peter repented and continued to defend Christ until his death. The key here is that he repented and so can we, because life is hard, and we won’t be perfect, even though we want to be. Which is why Christ atoned for us and was crucified for us – so that we can be perfect, because we can’t do it alone.

I discovered something interesting in the scriptures about Pilate. When Jesus was brought to Pilate, Pilate knew that the Jews “for envy they had delivered him.” (here) So Pilate knew that the Jews were just being ridiculous and that they didn’t really have anything to charge Jesus with. That was why Pilate suggested that the Jews release Barabbas. Because Barabbas was such a vile murderer, Pilate was sure the Jews would rather have Jesus back than Barabbas. But the Jews chose Barabbas.

I know that the Savior lived for us, that He died for us, and that He was resurrected – all so that we can live with Him and with our Father forever. I know that as we study His life and His teachings and His words that we will grow closer to Him and that we will be able to understand the atonement so that we can apply it in our lives.

I am forever grateful that the Lord laid down His life for us. That He gave up His life to save us.

“Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done”

(find the lesson here)

“We cannot of ourselves,
no matter how we may try,
rid ourselves of the stain which is upon us
as a result of our own transgressions.”
(Marion G. Romney)

This is kind of an intimidating post to write – and part II of this lesson (the Crucifixion) will be next week. The atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is so sacred, so important, and so meaningful that I feel like I cannot do justice writing about it. I don’t even feel like I completely understand His atonement, but I am learning more about it each time I study the scriptures, study the account of His atonement, and listen to the words and testimonies of our living prophets – and of my friends and acquaintances in the gospel.

There are three important blessings that we receive because of the atonement of the savior. They are peace, forgiveness, and eternal life. Sometimes I forget that the atonement can give me all three things. I think most of us agree that the atonement can give us eternal life in the physical sense. We usually have no doubt in our minds that we will all be resurrected. It’s a pretty straightforward concept, and a blessing that we all receive unconditionally, due to the Savior’s atoning sacrifice. And I think that maybe most of us are pretty solid in our testimony that through the atonement we can be forgiven for our sins (although sometimes we have serious misconceptions about that, too – which I’ll get to later). The concept I struggle with the most is remembering that the atonement can give us peace – even, and especially, when we are suffering due to either this natural world, or the sins of others.

There were a few things that stuck out to me as I read the three accounts of the Savior’s atonement in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. In Matthew and Mark, the Savior is recorded as saying “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death.” In Luke’s gospel, he leaves that part out, but includes an account of an angel with Christ “strengthening him.” Another thing that Luke included in his account was the Christ was “wont” to visit the garden of Gethsemane. (wont = accustomed). It makes me wonder if the Savior was on the look out for the perfect place to atone for the sins of the world. Like Joseph, who prayed in the private grove of trees, I wonder if the Savior had noticed that this particular garden was relatively quiet and few people ever went there. Maybe a disciple owned the garden, and had told the Savior that if He ever needed a quiet place to go and pray, He was welcome to use His friend’s garden. The fact that the Savior was accustomed to being in Gethsemane makes the atonement seem very thoughtful. He didn’t just stop one day and take upon Himself the sins of the world. He had been thinking about it, probably since He was a child and was “about [His] father’s business.” I wonder how many times  He had prayed previously in Gethsemane, perhaps asking the Father to give Him strength, so that when the time came, He could do what was necessary to save the world. 

Image source.

The Savior Took Upon Himself The Sins of the World

I think that it is especially important to remember that the Savior voluntarily took upon himself “suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind;” (Alma 7:11). No one made Him do it. No one took the Savior’s life. And no one put the sins of the world on His shoulders. The scriptures usually say that He “took upon himself” the sins, afflictions, and infirmities of the world. He took all the suffering and put it on himself.

And it was painful. Very painful. “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18) The pain and suffering the Savior endured in the garden was so painful that even He, the Son of God asked God the Father to remove the cup from Him. But even as He said it, He knew it had to be done, and so He said “Not my will, but thine, be done.”

Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. (Doctrine and Covenants 19:19)

We Need the Atonement

As soon as Adam and Eve fell from the garden, we needed the atonement. Our bodies and this world are in a fallen state, and the only thing that can return them to their perfect state is the sacrifice of the Savior. When we sin, we move ourselves even farther from Heavenly Father, and nothing can return us except the Savior’s atonement.

My favorite talk ever is The Mediator, which was given in a Conference address many years ago by Elder Boyd K. Packer. I have included the video on this post so you can watch it. I can never get through it without bawling my eyes out – especially when Elder Packer starts talking about mercy and justice.

Mercy and justice are the two main reason we need the Savior’s atonement. Because I think that Alma says it best, I will include mostly what he says in Alma chapter 42. When Adam and Even fell from the garden, they became mortal so that “there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God.” If Adam and Eve and been allowed to stay in the Garden of Eden after they had transgressed and partaken of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they would not have been able to repent for their transgression and they would have lived forever in their sin, which means that they would not have been able to live in the presence of God. “But behold, it was appointed unto man to die—therefore, as they were cut off from the tree of life they should be cut off from the face of the earth—and man became lost forever, yea, they became fallen man. And now, ye see by this that our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will.” Because our souls do not die (not in the same sense as our bodies die – our souls never end), the fall of Adam and Eve brought a kind of death to our souls – the inability to be in the presence of our Father. When we talk about spiritual death, that is what we mean – not being in the presence of the Father – because our spirit don’t actually die.

So now we have mortal men, who are in a state of spiritual death, and who will eventually experience a physical death. If the world had been left that way, God would have lost everything – His children and His world. And there would have been no way for His children to come back to Him again.

“Therefore, according to justice, the plan of redemption could not be brought about, only on conditions of repentance of men in this probationary state, yea, this preparatory state; for except it were for these conditions, mercy could not take effect except it should destroy the work of justice. Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God. And thus we see that all mankind were fallen, and they were in the grasp of justice; yea, the justice of God, which consigned them forever to be cut off from his presence.” It is important to note that it was the justice of God which cut us off from His presence. God follows laws – He has to adhere to justice. He cannot make His own arbitrary rules about justice. And so, in order to adhere to justice and save His children, “God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also.”

And now, for my favorite verses of scripture of almost all time (this combined with Mosiah 4 would probably do it for me):

“But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.

“But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.

“For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.

“What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit.” (Alma 42:22-25)

Before you watch this video, I want you to read what Elder Packer said before he began his talk (from which this video was made). Read the words carefully, and take this video seriously.

“What I shall say I could say much better if we were alone, just the two of us. It would be easier also if we had come to know one another, and had that kind of trust which makes it possible to talk of serious, even sacred things.

“If we were that close, because of the nature of what I shall say, I would study you carefully as I spoke. If there should be the slightest disinterest or distraction, the subject would quickly be changed to more ordinary things.”

I have a testimony of the Savior’s atonement. I am amazed at how intricate and thought out and thorough the whole plan of salvation is. I am grateful for a perfect, just God who also found a way to be a merciful God. I know that the Savior took upon himself the sins and suffering of the world, and I know that through the atonement we can find peace, forgiveness, and eternal life.

Please share your thoughts and testimony about the Savior’s atonement with me.

Establishing Eternal Families

(read the handbook here)

It has long been established that families are central to God’s plan. Even in the beginning, with Adam and Eve, they were commanded to have a family. Establishing a family should be the first priority of every faithful Latter day Saint man and woman.

The first element of that priority should be obtaining a temple marriage. You can read many recent talks by the General Authorities to understand just how important that is. The adversary is definitely working hard on this front.

I read an article recently that was published in 2005 which stated that the divorce rate was declining, but so was the marriage rate. Instead of getting married and then divorced, people are simply moving in together. Of course, people who just live together without getting married are also more likely to break up – so the “sociological” divorce rate is probably higher – since a live-in relationship that breaks up is probably almost as bad for all parties involved – including the children.

The article also stated an interesting trend that Europe has more live-in couples than the USA, but that couples with children in Europe usually live together, even if they aren’t married. So in the USA, we have single moms (or dads) who end up living with multiple “partners,” bringing their children into the mix, and then leaving when things don’t work out. And then in Europe, you have non-married biological parents of a child living together, but they stay together. It’s hard to tell which of the two are worse – children having to endure several messed up relationships, or children living with their parents who are unwed. I would say that of the two, the latter is less damaging for children. But both are perversions of the Lord’s way, which is exactly what Satan wants.

“Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred responsibility. Parents and priesthood and auxiliary leaders should do all they can to reinforce this teaching.” This is a teaching which has gone the way of the world (literally). The whole meaning of sex and relationships has been completely corrupted by Satan. His influence can be seen all over society, and nowhere more prevalent than in the realm of sexual relations. We need to protect that. I don’t mean we need to never talk to our kids about sex. The complete opposite is true – from the time they are infants we need to teach them about the purpose of their bodies, the sanctity of their bodies, the emotions that we can feel, and the proper expression of the physical feelings they will have at some point.

After obtaining a temple marriage (which should be the first priority of every faithful Latter Day Saint man and woman), the next priority should be bearing and raising children. If bearing children isn’t an option (for whatever reason) then raising children can still be done. “By divine design, both a man and a woman are essential for bringing children into mortality and providing the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.” (emphasis added) Bearing children isn’t the end of it, and it’s not even really the beginning of it. The Lord’s Church is one of adoption so it makes sense that adoption is a very important part of the Lord’s plan. Especially when it comes to those who don’t have “the best setting” for rearing and nurturing. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” To me this would also mean that children who don’t get that birth should be entitled to it by adoption. Of course, both how many children and when to have them (whether through bearing children or adopting them) is completely a personal matter between a couple and the Lord.

What principle of establishing eternal families is the most significant to you? Have you found different principles more applicable to your life over the years? How are you defending marriage and the family?

God the Father's Plan for His Eternal Family

(read the Handbook here)

It is not surprising to me that the first chapter in the Church Handbook of Instruction is about the importance of families to the work of God. It has been known (at least since the 90s) that the Church places greatest importance on families.

In Doctrine & Covenants 138:55, we read that “even before [we] were born, [we]… received [our] first lessons in the world of spirits”. The family unit existed before this earth – with God as our Father, and all of the other future inhabitants of this world as sisters and brothers. Even our children were our sisters and brothers in the pre-mortal world. We have all been commanded to serve and love each other, and help each other back to live with Heavenly Father. Before we were born, He even taught us our “first lessons” so that we would be better prepared to help each other in this world.

“The purpose of God’s plan is to lead us to eternal life.” A long time ago I had a small square of green paper in my scriptures on which I listed all the things the were equivalent to eternal life. When I would read something in the scriptures that described eternal life or likened it to something else or described how to obtain eternal life, I would write it down on my little green sheet of paper. I’m not entirely sure where that piece of paper is now, but I remember feeling so blessed to read over and over again all the things that were necessary for obtaining eternal life. That Heavenly Father would make sure it was spelled out clearly for us was a blessing for me. He loves us and wants to make His plan plain and simple for us. I have a testimony that this is why we have the Book of Mormon. The instruction in it is plain and simple.

I love how simple the plan of happiness really is. With the fall of Adam and Eve from the garden, their mortality brought with it two obstacles – death and sin. “Because we cannot overcome either obstacle by ourselves, Heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our Savior and Redeemer.” The Saviors atonement made possible the resurrection from the dead – meaning that the obstacle of physical death had been overcome. And His atonement also made it possible for men to repent and overcome sin through the Savior. We cannot be perfect alone, and we cannot return to live with Heavenly Father on our own – but we can be perfect and return to Him through the atoning sacrifice of the Savior. With all my heart and mind I know this to be true.

“As part of our Heavenly Father’s plan, we were born into families. He established families to bring us happiness, to help us learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare us for eternal life.” (emphasis added) I think that sometimes we miss this part of the purpose for families – the loving atmosphere part. Most of the time I think parents understand their responsibility to teach their children – but I believe most parents misunderstand that to mean that is their responsibility to discipline, lecture, and correct their children. Teaching has an entirely different connotation – one that is more loving, less rebuking; more gentle and understanding, and less criticizing. Maybe it would help to remember that our children are also our brothers and sisters. Our positions could easily be turned around – our children, having been born before us, could be our parents, and we their children. And let us always remember that our children will be parents some day – as the words from a Primary song go, “How will they live when they at last are grown? What will they give to children of their own?”

So if we generally learn what we need to know in our families, what is the purpose of the Church?

“The Church provides the organization and means for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of God’s children. It provides the priesthood authority to administer the ordinances of salvation and exaltation to all who are worthy and willing to accept them.”

I don’t want to say “that’s it” because these things are vital to our eternal progression – but at the same time, that’s it! That’s all the Church is for – it provides the organization and means for teaching the gospel – but we as members of the kingdom, as parents, teachers, brothers and sister – we are the hands. We do the work. The Church is just an organization, which, without the members, would be completely ineffective.

And so, it is important for us to learn about the organization of the Church, and more importantly, to learn about our duties as members of the Lord’s kingdom so that we can be effective members of this great work the Father has for us.

For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)

What role do you see for the family in God’s work? How have families and the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ worked in your life to bring you closer to Heavenly Father? Do you think the organization of the Church helps families accomplish the duties and commandments that God has given us?