Nothing, and Yet Everything

In Mosiah Chapter 4, King Benjamin has just finished speaking to his people when they "viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth." After they had learned about the atonement of Jesus Christ, an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness filled the people's hearts. King Benjamin responded to them by encouraging their sense of their nothingness.

Hundreds of years before this, Moses had a similar experience. In Moses 1 he says, "I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed." The irony of this statement is that Moses had just been in the presence of God, who had proclaimed to him, "behold, thou art my son... I have a work for thee, Moses, my son; and thou art in the similitude of mine Only Begotten". How did Moses' thought process go from "You are my son" to "I am nothing"? How did the King Benjamin's people go from learning of the atonement of Jesus Christ to feeling as if they 

It is as if learning of the beauty of the Love of God (which is the atonement of Jesus Christ - see 1 Nephi 11) stirs in man's heart an awareness of their nothingness and insignificance in the eternal plan - or rather, that the glorious truth that "the worth of a soul is great in the sight of God" stirs that very soul to the greatest depths of humility.

There is so much beauty in opposition, in contrast, and in juxtaposition. Indeed, the gospel requires a complement of seemingly opposing truths - justice and mercy, nothingness and infinite worth, dark and light. Jacob's discourse in 2 Nephi 2 eloquently describes this necessary opposition.

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

In King Benjamin's discourse, he goes on to testify to the people that their feelings of nothingness were the key to salvation - but not just those feelings on their own. He testified that a person also needs a knowledge of the goodness of God, and also the atonement, and needs to put his trust in the Lord. Then "this is the man who receiveth salvation, through the atonement which was prepared form the foundation of the world for all mankind... and this is the means whereby salvation cometh."

What a beautiful illustration of the "compound in one" spoken of by Jacob in the Book of Mormon. We are everything to God, indeed, we are His children and the very reason for the existence of the atonement. And yet, we are less than the dust of the earth - we are so small and insignificant, which makes the magnitude of the atonement even more glorious.

Oh it is wonderful, that He would care for me enough to die for me. Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.

What do you think about the contrast between the humility of feeling the nothingness of man compared to the glory of the atonement, which is everything for us? Are there other places where you have experienced the "compound in one"? 

 

 

Outward Performances and the Law of Moses

As I began to study the Come Follow Me lesson for this week, my attention was drawn to the section titled "My outward actions must reflect and increase inner conversion." The early Saints after the Savior's death still believed that they were required to practice the rites and rituals of the law of Moses to obtain salvation. I was then intrigue by this assertion in the manual:

This may seem like a problem that doesn't apply any more since we don't live by the law of Moses. But as you read Paul's writings... think about your own efforts to live the gospel.

This got me thinking about all of the rites and rituals we perform or participate in as members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ. Why, if the law of Moses has been fulfilled, and we profess to follow Jesus Christ, do we continue to participate in rites and rituals?

The first thing I did was head to Doctrine & Covenants Section 132 for a little refresher on the New and Everlasting Covenant (which is really most of what the temple rites and rituals are about). As I studied about the marriage covenant and sealing power and authority I was reminded that the New and Everlasting Covenant is in regards to exaltation rather than salvation.

Salvation vs Exaltation

In Moses chapter 1 verse 39, the Lord tells Moses, "Behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

President Russell M. Nelson taught, "To be saved - or to gain salvation - means to be saved from physical and spiritual death." This salvation comes because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, and His atoning sacrifice. We are all saved. This is what fulfilled the Law of Moses - Christ died for us, and made that eternal sacrifice so that we can all be saved. The Law of Moses was a way to remind the Jews that Christ would come and would die for all the world.

President Russell M. Nelson continued, "To be exalted - or to gain exaltation - refers to the highest state of happiness and glory in the celestial realm." This is different from salvation because it is not something that just comes to everyone - we have to make certain covenants and promises, and we make those covenants and promises through rites and rituals that are reminiscent of the Law of Moses.

Rites and Rituals

When we make covenants and promises with Heavenly Father toward our exaltation, such as baptism, receiving the priesthood for worthy males, and making temple covenants, we do so only once for ourselves. We are baptized only once ever for ourselves, and we participate in temple covenants only once for ourselves. Unlike the Law of Moses, where the rites and rituals had to be performed regularly, we only perform those rites and rituals once for our own exaltation, or eternal life. The only rite or ritual we perform multiple times for ourselves is the sacrament. However, partaking of the sacrament, while an important practice for remembering the Savior, is not essential for exaltation.

Outward Symbols of an Inner Commitment

So why all the rites and rituals? What is the point, if we believe the Law of Moses has been fulfilled and that salvation is given to all men, regardless of what we do?

The Book of Mormon gives a stirring account of some early Saints who lived prior to the life of Christ but knew of Him and the fullness of His gospel. Essentially, they already knew that Christ would come and that He would give us the beautiful gift of the atonement. However, they were still required to live the Law of Moses and participate in those rites and rituals.

Yea, and they did keep the law of Moses; for it was expedient that they should keep the law of Moses as yet, for it was not all fulfilled. But notwithstanding the law of Moses, they did look forward to the coming of Christ, considering that the law of Moses was a type of his coming, and believing that they must keep those outward performances until the time that he should be revealed unto them.

Now they did not supposed that salvation came by the law of Moses; but the law of Moses did serve to strengthen their faith in Christ; and thus they did retain a hope through faith, unto eternal salvation, relying upon the spirit of prophecy, which spake of those things to come.

The Saints in the Americas did not keep the Law of Moses because they thought they needed to do all of those things in order to gain salvation. They kept the Law of Moses because they used those rites and rituals to strengthen their faith in Jesus Christ.

Likewise, we are not required to take the sacrament, or participate in temple ordinances. Even if we have made covenants for ourselves in the temple, there is no requirement to return to the temple for our own exaltation. We did what was required. So why go back? Why take the sacrament? The Book of Mormon gives us this beautiful explanation and admonition: "to strengthen [our] faith in Christ."

It is easy to think of partaking of the sacrament and attending the temple as some kind of check box. Each week we take the sacrament on Sunday, "check"! Each time we attend the temple to perform vicarious works for the dead, "check"! We will probably get a lot more out of the rites and rituals that we perform regularly if we approach it as the Saints did in the Americas - as a way to strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ.

The section from the Come Follow Me manual ends with these questions:

Are your outward performances, such as taking the sacrament or attending the temple, leading you to conversion and strengthening your faith in Christ? How can you ensure that your outward actions are leading to a change of heart?

When to Give and When to Take

I had a conversation with my teenage daughter about the law of consecration and the United Order.

Before I describe the conversation to you I feel like you need a little bit of background on me.

I am something of a minimalist. I try to live by Sarah Lazarovi's "Buyerarchy of Needs" (a play off of Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs).

This, along with the quote "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful" from William Morris are the guided principles of my consumerism.

My daughter was not familiar with the United Order, so I described it to her, definitely oversimplifying things, with this statement, "Basically you gave everything you had to the church, and then they would give you back anything you needed." I followed up with, "That didn't mean no one had nice things - but for example, if you needed a ball gown for a fancy dance, you got one. If you didn't need it, someone else got it."

My daughter's response: "That sounds like something you would love."

You have no idea how much I would love it. So so much.

This essay is about sacrifice. I think minimalism and the law of consecration are very much tied to the law of sacrifice. But sacrifice is so tricky.

Young mothers tend to sacrifice so much that they don't get enough to eat, enough sleep, or enough mental health support. This leads to devastating outcomes like postpartum depression, and suicide.

Spouses of abusive partners tend to sacrifice so much that they stay in abusive relationships, which leads to depression, suicidal thoughts, and in some instances murder or suicide. When children are involved, the heartbreaking outcomes can be devastating for these kids.

Members of the church who make covenants to obey and live the laws of consecration and sacrifice often give so much of themselves that they become disillusioned with at least the church, and in extreme cases even deny the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The problem with sacrifice and the law of consecration is pride. Pride is a barrier.

Being a survivor of abuse I have found some bitterness in my heart toward the law of sacrifice. I sometimes find myself saying in my head "But I sacrificed everything, and it got me into an abusive relationship where I felt robbed of my very being, where my children's quality of life was diminished, where my safety and the safety of my children was not guaranteed. Why should I sacrifice? People will just take advantage of me." In my mind, living the laws of sacrifice and consecration were the gates to abuse. Indeed, very often they are. It is easy to be taken advantage of if you sacrifice and give. So how do we protect ourselves from abuse when we are living the law of sacrifice?

Here is the not-so-easy answer I have come up with: we don't.

Oh, I believe in boundaries, definitely. But we have to be careful that our boundaries come from a place of Doctrine & Covenants 121:43 - "when moved upon by the Holy Ghost" - rather than from a place of pride.

The past several years I have been recovering mentally and spiritually from an abusive relationship. I have learned a lot about boundaries, and at the same time I have developed a lot of pride.

Ironically, pondering the law of sacrifice as I have been doing the past several months seemed to increase my feelings of pride. The elusive balance between sacrifice and boundaries was something I couldn't quite grasp until a month or so ago when I had this inspired thought:

The Savior gave everything. Not just His time and His talents and His love. He gave His very life. His life. And who appreciated him? Very few people. What happened to him? He was abused. In fact, in the words of my beloved Isaiah, "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

That thought was humbling, and I try to use it whenever I want to withhold something - time, money, love, compassion, my talents, whatever it is. I try to come back to that thought. He gave everything - He sacrificed everything and He didn't stop when people abused Him.

Now, am I saying that you should find ways to be abused and taken advantage of? No way. Remember that the Holy Ghost might prompt you not to give - but you have to be very very in tune with that and make sure it isn't pride motivating your stinginess.

I am saying that when you find yourself in a position to give of your time, talents, energy, compassion, love, etc and you want to withhold because you are worried about being taken advantage of, or you start feeling those begrudging feelings of "But who is going to take care of my needs?", remember the Savior and give anyway.

And then take.

Take the Savior's yoke. Take and take and take from the Savior. That is the place to take. No spouse, no friend, no child, no church leader, no human being will ever be able to give you everything you want and need (remember that thing about pride?). So you have to take it from the Person who is immune to Satan's tricks and lies. The only human who has no pride. Not one drop. The only person capable of giving you absolutely everything you need.

And sometimes the only thing you can get from Him is the assurance that some day you will be able to enter into His rest.

Surrender by Reflections of Christ

A friend of mine once said that she imagines our reunion with the Father will consist of us falling, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted into his arms, and He, with tears streaming down his face, will say, "That was hard, wasn't it? I am so glad you are safe at home with me now."

How do you find a balance between sacrifice and mental health? How do you keep pride out of the picture? Have you learned to rely on the power of the Savior?

What Did I do Wrong?

The question "Why is this happening to me?" can be a soul expanding question when we ask it in humility and learn what God wants us to learn, sometimes that question can become debilitating if we ask it in shame or embarrassment or anger.

It is easy to believe that your trials come because you were faithful enough. If only I had enough faith, if only I was more obedient, if only I had a stronger testimony.

Prior to a major trial, you may have felt confident in your faith and testimony. I know that prior to my divorce I felt like I had unshakeable faith and never ending courage. In spite of the difficulties of my marriage I felt like if I pressed forward with faith my marriage could be saved and we could be happy. When that didn't happen, you can see how my faith might have been shaken.

After my divorce I constantly questioned my testimony and my faith. In fact, three years later and I am still questioning my faith and testimony. Is it strong enough? Do I really believe what I say I believe? Do I have an unshakable testimony? Do I have enough faith?

Satan wants us to believe that our faith isn't strong enough. He wants us to think our testimony isn't good enough. But those are lies.

No matter the source of our trials, whether caused by our own sin and weaknesses, the sin and weaknesses of others, or simply this fallen world, the Savior's atonement can strengthen us.

Maybe my testimony wasn't as strong as I thought it was. Maybe I don't have as much faith as I thought I had. But if I turn to the Savior during my trials my testimony and faith will be strengthened. As the father in the New Testament pled with the Savior, "Lord, help thou mine unbelief" so, too, can the Savior help strengthen our faith and testimony.

Deeply Understanding the Atonement

Note: I wrote and gave this talk a year ago on Sunday, April 20, 2014. A sister in my ward asked me for a copy, and I kept putting off typing up the edits I made to it on the stand (as I am wont to do when giving a talk). But now here it is, in the form I delivered it. I hope you enjoy it this Easter season!

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Nephi quoted Isaiah extensively. Afterwards, he recorded his own prophecies of Christ. He gave this explanation for such a record:

“For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God, for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do… and we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”

The source for the remission of our sins is our Savior, Jesus Christ, and my purpose in this talk is to “persuade [my] children, and also [you, my] brethren [and sisters], to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God”, and perhaps together we can come to better remember that source, Jesus Christ.

At a literacy conference I attended last month I learned something about how we come to remember things. One of the presenters was discussing techniques to teach reading comprehension to students. She said, “Children remember what they deeply understand.” I would say this applies to all of us as well. I wasn’t looking for a gospel connection at the time, but unexpectedly found one the following Sunday during a Relief Society lesson on the sacrament.

In that week’s lesson, Joseph Fielding Smith said, “To eat in remembrance of him. Does that mean that I would just remember that nearly 2,000 years ago wicked men took him, hung him on the cross, drove nails in his hands and feet and left him there to die? To me it has a far deeper meaning than that. To remember him—why was he on the cross? What benefit comes to [me] because he was on the cross? What suffering did he go through on the cross that I might be redeemed or relieved of my sins?” To remember the Savior means more than just to remember what happened. Remembering the Savior involves striving to more deeply understand this monumental gift we have been given.

For the past few months I have been studying the atonement with a greater purpose than I have in several years. In the years since I last made a meaningful study of the atonement, I have studied various principles of the gospel, and with great fervor. However, none of that studying as changed my heart and my life as much as the past few months have. Elder Tad R. Callister explained this change in his book, The Infinite Atonement, “Every attempt to reflect upon the Atonement, to study it, to embrace it, to express appreciation for it, however small or feeble it may be, will kindle the fires of faith and work its miracle towards a more Christlike life. It is an inescapable consequence of so doing.”

I would like to share a few of the things with you that I have learned about the atonement in the past few months - probably nothing new to many of you, but maybe, like me, you put your study of the atonement on the back burner for a while as you studied other gospel topics, and so a refresher might be nice. If these concepts seem new to you, and even if they aren’t new, I challenge you to immerse yourself in a study of the atonement of Jesus Christ and see if it doesn’t change your life for the better.

One of the most life-changing principles of the atonement is that it is infinite. The word infinite probably conjures up images of eternity, or the number of grains of sand on the beach. But when we talk about the atonement being infinite, what we mean is that the atonement covers everything. The atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ is so much more far-reaching than any one of us has probably ever experienced. But I am sure that if you look in your own life you can see the atonement touching you in many different ways.

If you have repented of a serious sin, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have lost a loved one and found peace after their death, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have been given what seemed like an insurmountable task and found motivation and strength to achieve it, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have suffered at the hands of another and been able to find healing and forgiveness, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have struggled through physical ailments or infirmities and received healing, or simply the fortitude to endure, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have ached because of the injustices of this life but been given the gifts of patience and compassion, you have experienced the atonement.

If you have struggled with the idea of being perfect, feeling like you can never do enough, and felt that burden of perfection lifted as you took upon you the Savior’s yoke, you have experienced the atonement.

I hope you can see the connection between all of these situations, even though they may not seem to have much in common. Committing a sin may seem different than suffering at the hands of an abuser, but the underlying theme is the healing, peace, and perfection that can come through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

In the New Testament is recorded a story about a young ruler who came to the Savior asking what he could do. The young man asked the Savior, “Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?” The Savior proceeded to list the ten commandments, to which the young man, apparently free of any major sins, responded, “All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?” Of course, when the Savior responded with the higher laws of consecration and discipleship, the young man either decided that he didn’t have what it takes or he didn’t have the desire to make that kind of commitment, and so he left, sorrowful.

This young man had kept all of the commandments from his youth until the day he questioned the Savior. To me it appears that he had not committed any grievous sins, and had lived a reasonably good life. This young man had probably never needed to confess a sin to his bishop and work through the painful process of repentance for a serious transgression. But the atonement is so much more than just a tool for the abandonment of serious sin.

General Relief Society President Linda K. Burton taught, “Like the rich young man in Jesus’ day, sometimes we are tempted to give up or turn back because maybe we think we can’t do it alone. And we are right! We cannot do the difficult things we have been asked to do without help. Help comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the guidance of the holy Ghost, and the helping hands of others.”

The atonement is the source of power that allows us to “do all things”, as the apostle Paul wrote, “through Christ who strengtheneth [us].” The atonement of Jesus Christ can give us strength to do those things that seem impossible to do. Former Relief Society president Sheri Dew said, “Our responsibility is to learn to draw upon the power of the Atonement. Otherwise we walk through mortality relying solely on our own strength. And to do that is to invite the frustration of failure and to refuse the most resplendent gift in time or eternity. “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed … and he receive not the gift?””
We must learn to access the atonement if we want to receive power to “do all things” and “be perfect.”
But what about if we aren’t quite where the young ruler was yet? What if we aren’t ready to say, “What lack I yet?” because we are caught up in sin? What if we were once like the young ruler, able to say that we have kept the commandments from our youth, but today we have stumbled and fallen and now feel as if our perfect record has been tarnished?

Former General Relief Society president Julie B. Beck said, “Everyone makes mistakes… I often hear about the chosen, royal generation of this dispensation, but I have never heard it called the perfect generation. Teenagers are especially vulnerable because the power of Satan is real, and they are making their first big, independent choices. Consequently, they are also making their first big mistakes.”

First, do not despair. Isaiah wrote, “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” If you have ever spilled red punch on a white blouse, you know how hard it is to get those red stains out of that white cloth. More often than not, the white clothing is tarnished forever and good for nothing but a rag. Our lives are much more precious to God than a piece of clothing, and He has given us the ultimate stain remover. The atonement of Jesus Christ can surely erase those sins and cleanse our souls so that not only are we white again, but we can be even better than before. The only barrier between our crimson present and our pure white future is true repentance.

President Beck taught, “We are commanded to repent. The Savior taught that unless we repent and “become as a little child, … [we] can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” We must not let one little cup of coffee, one bad habit, one bad choice, one wrong decision derail us for a lifetime.” When we take a step off the path, we must not let despair or feelings of failure keep us from continuing to step forward and allowing the atonement of Jesus Christ to change our very nature.

The repentance process can change us in a very real way, but true repentance requires us to really gain a deeper understanding of the atonement. True repentance cannot be reduced to a process with steps that we simply check off as we proceed through them. Teaching a five step process to children is useful, but later insufficient for us to develop the understanding of the atonement that we will need in order to truly change. Elder Callister describes repentance as “a melting, softening, refining process that brings about a mighty change of heart… It is a burning resolve to make amends with God at any cost.”

But even with that burning resolve, President Beck explained that, “It is not possible to make real change all by ourselves. Our own willpower and our own good intentions are not enough. When we make mistakes or choose poorly, we must have the help of our Savior to get back on track. We partake of the sacrament week after week to show our faith in His power to change us. We confess our sins and promise to forsake them.” We cannot change on our own. All the burning resolve in the world will not change us if we do not allow the atonement to change us. Elder Callister taught that the power of the atonement is key to that change, (quote) “If there were no atonement, there would be no opportunity to repent. Men might feel sorrow; they might change their behavior within certain parameters; but no divine rehabilitation process would be in operation. Simply stated, without the atonement, there would be no cleansing of the sinner’s soul regardless of any actions on his part.” (close quote)

We need the atonement in order to truly change and become more than we are, better than we were yesterday.

So how do we allow the atonement to change us, to change our lives? Whether we are seeking purification from a transgression, or healing for a wounded heart, or strength to become perfect through Christ, the power of the atonement can help us, if we can only figure out how to access that power.

I suggest that the key to accessing the power of the atonement is through studying the atonement. It seems like such a simple thing, to study the atonement of Jesus Christ - but the doctrine of the atonement is more complicated than one family home evening lesson, one Sunday school lesson, one Conference talk, or one read through of the Book of Mormon can unravel. There is a depth and breadth to the atonement of Jesus Christ that we will only come to understand as we make the atonement a focus of our regular gospel study. The prophet Joseph Smith taught, “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.” Because the atonement of Jesus Christ is the central doctrine of His gospel, a study of that atonement can change our lives more than a study of any other gospel doctrine will change our lives. Elder Callister wrote, “As our vision of the atonement is enhanced, our motivation to embrace its full effects is proportionally increased.” An understanding of the atonement inspires us to live the gospel more fully. President Howard W. Hunter gave this promise, “As we come to understand [Christ’s] mission and the atonement which He wrought, we will desire to be more like him.” and Elder Neal A. Maxwell testified, “The more we know of Jesus’ Atonement, the more we will humbly and gladly glorify Him, His Atonement, and His character.”

If you aren’t convinced that a deep understanding of the atonement can change our hearts and our lives, let me leave you with an example of such a change. In Mosiah chapters 3 and 4 we find one of the most beautiful discourses on the atonement. King Benjamin taught his people about the atonement of Jesus Christ, about his life, suffering, death, and resurrection. After hearing King Benjamin’s teachings and testimony, his people shouted, “Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.”

King Benjamin’s discourse brought the spirit into the lives of the people, and their hearts were changed by the power of his words and testimony. The evidence of their change of heart was that they had “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” We will find this evidence in our own lives as we study the atonement of Jesus Christ and come to more deeply understand that central doctrine of the gospel, is my testimony.

Change Your Life

There are a lot of things I don't know yet. And it seems the more I study, the more I realize I don't know. But I am trying to learn and study and grow. For the past several years I have done a lot of gospel studying. Mostly I have been studying about womanhood and what it means to be a woman and what my place and my responsibilities are as a mother.

But then a few weeks ago I was asked to give a talk on Easter Sunday (today) on the atonement. I put a lot of my other studies on hold to do an in depth study of the atonement and what I found was remarkable. My life changed. My attitudes, actions, my ability to receive revelation, everything changed. I was given more strength to do the impossible (and with a full time job, a husband, and six kids twelve and under it seems like every day is impossible!). It took me a while to figure out what had changed, but then I was writing my talk and I realized that studying the atonement of Jesus Christ is the single most important thing that changed my life.

From now on in my study of gospel topics I am looking for the connections to the atonement. What does the atonement teach me about my purpose as a woman?

There is a power that comes from studying the atonement, and I hope that putting the atonement at the center of my other studies will help me better understand those other studies.

(by the way, Elder Callister's book is a fantastic place to start your study of the atonement!)

Do you notice a change in your life when you study the atonement? How does the atonement help you understand other gospel topics that you study?

Divorce and Family

I love learning about motherhood and the family, and my testimony of eternal families and the importance and benefit of a strong nuclear family unit is one of the reasons divorce was such a hard decision for me.

In October 2013
General Conference, Elder D Todd Christofferson (quickly becoming one of my favorite general authorities - if having favorites is allowed) said,

A woman's moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home. There is no better setting for rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture their children.

This would have been lemon juice in a paper cut if it wasn't for the next statement:

Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to duplicate it's benefits as best they can in their particular circumstances.

Yes! I can strive to duplicate the benefits of a traditional family! However, in order to do that, I need to know what the benefits are, and how to duplicate them. So that is my quest as a mother of a blended family - to create the benefits of a traditional family for my non-traditional family.




The most influential doctrine that will make this quest possible is the atonement of Jesus Christ. His eternal and universal atonement can and will cover all the gaps between what should be, and what is.

Isn't that what we expect the atonement to do in our personal lives? Then why not in the lives of our children? Can the atonement help my children experience the benefits of a traditional family, even though the family they are a part of now doesn't meet that ideal?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Easter Thoughts

This is me timidly dipping my toes back in the water of blog-world. I really should be sleeping as my little bundle of amazing babyness sleeps next to me in his bassinet.

I haven't been taking time to ponder and meditate lately. I think I am a little afraid of the spirit lately. It's almost as if I don't want to receive instruction and revelation, because I don't want to follow it. I make up all sorts of excuses. I'm too busy, I have three children who take up my time, I'm too tired, etc. But the real reason is that it is hard. Living the gospel is hard. And sometimes it can be very lonely.

I don't like being lonely.

But then, Christ was lonely. I am sure He felt alone a lot.

I am sure my loneliness doesn't even compare. But you know, if I truly believe in the atonement (and I do) then I should believe that the Savior knows my heart. He knows how lonely I feel, and because He felt it too, he will "know ... how to succor [me] according to [my] infirmities". 

This weekend is Easter weekend. The great atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection are remembered this weekend in homes and hearts around the world. I wish that I remembered those sacred events more often.

This dipping my toes feels really good.

Maybe I am back?

I am definitely back to pondering. I will do this more often. Much more often.

Waiting for More Light and Knowledge

I was re-reading Sister Burton's talk from the most recent General Relief Society meeting and I loved what she said here:




The part that stood out to me, especially in light of recent events, was her final concern, "we feel [Heavenly Father] would have us work in unity with the other auxiliaries and with our priesthood leaders, striving to seek out and help those in need to progress along the path."
I remember sitting in the meeting and feeling as if Sister Burton understand and sees the struggle some wards have with counseling together, and specifically counseling with the sisters in the ward.
Her topic for the rest of the meeting was fantastic, absolutely needed, and of course the perfect foundation for discussing covenants and unity. But I found myself anxious to hear her speak more. That was when I realized that I hadn't even studied her first talk. How can I want more when I am not appreciating what I have?
So I am going to study Sister Burton's talk multiple times so that I will be prepared for the next time I hear her speak. I think she is going to have some inspiring things to say. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long for her counsel!
Patience. That thing I struggle with.
What are you excited to hear Sister Burton discuss? Have you studied her talk from September? If you could hear more from Sister Burton what format would you like to see? A podcast? A blog? Articles in the Ensign?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My Cup Runneth Over

Remember the Lie of Perfection? I read an excellent post about the same principle written by Kathryn over at Daring Young Mom called Drops of Awesome. It was really beautiful. I especially loved her story about walking her son to the bus stop. You’ll have to head over to her blog to read that and more of her Drops of Awesome.

As an object lesson … I gave [each girl] each a small dropper and I put a 2-quart bowl on the table. I told them that throughout the lesson they would get the chance to put drops in the bucket for every Drop of Awesome they could think of that they’d done. I promised them that we would fill the bowl to overflowing by the end of the lesson.

With about 5 minutes to go, we had barely begun to fill the bowl and the girls were looking around at each other nervously. The promised overflow did not look likely. Were they not awesome enough?

At that point, I pulled out a large pitcher labeled ATONEMENT and poured water into the glass bowl until it was spilling out all over the table and the towel the bowl was resting on. The class went silent.

Read the whole post here.

Surrender

Letting myself be happy has turned out to be harder than I thought.

I’ve been thinking about the atonement for the past few days, after we had our Teachings for Our Times lesson on Sunday about President Uchtdorf’s message (which ironically was the General Conference Book Club talk for last week).

For some reason my testimony of the atonement and my understanding and conviction that it is the key to happiness and can help me bear pain and disappointment doesn’t seem to translate into something doable. I can’t figure out how to use the atonement to help assuage the pain.

Something I thought about on Sunday was how I healed (am healing) from the loss of my brother. For a while I didn’t heal – I was too busy to deal with the grief – but once I faced the grief head on, and allowed the atonement to work in me, I felt the healing. I still feel it every day (for that trial). The loss of my brother will always be a hole in my heart, but it is much less painful now than it was two years ago.  I feel like I was able to heal because nothing was ongoing. Once the initial shock was gone, there was not much left to do other than heal. There are always little moments when it’s harder – like when we’re taking family pictures, or on his birthday, or on the anniversary of his death, or when I watch someone else deal with the loss of a loved one. But in general, the pain is past. The trial is, for the most part, over.

This trial is different.

It may never be over. It may never end. Things may never, in this life, get better – at least not the way I want them to.

And I think accepting that is hard for me. Learning how to live with the situation how it is feels like giving up. It feels like being okay with things the way they are is failure. Accepting that I don’t have any power over this situation is like accepting defeat.

I guess I just don’t want to endure pain for the rest of my life. This is a spiritual and emotional pain, rather than a physical one – but I think the concept is the same. I can’t imagine living in chronic pain. I know there are people who do it. A good sister in my ward is in constant pain and confined to a wheelchair. There are actually two sisters in our ward in that condition. How do they stand it? How do they find happiness? It wasn’t their choice to be in that situation.

I think deep down I feel a little bit like this trial is my fault. I feel as if there is something I could have done. If only I had made this decision, or that decision, I wouldn’t be in this position.

Sometime in the past year I remember thinking to myself that Heavenly Father wanted me to be in this position. He knew before I did the pain I would be in. He knew it a long time ago, before I even saw it coming. He knew when He told me to make the decision I made that would lead me to this place. He knew this was the only way I would learn the things I needed to learn.

I read this quote from Orson F. Whitney earlier today in a General Conference talk by Elder Robert D. Hales,

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.

I loved what Bonnie said about tanning leather on my most recent post at Real Intent:

You would think that the strongest leather comes from hides with lots of flesh left on them, nice and thick, that haven't been treated too badly. In fact, the strongest leather comes from well-scraped hides that have been acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun, then acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun, and acid-soaked and worked and left in the sun. Unworked leather cracks under pressure. Well-worked leather is soft and supple, water-proof and flexible. We don't grow strong by being left alone.

Tender. How do you tenderize something? Usually by beating it repeatedly. Ever seen a meat tenderizer? They come in different varieties, but almost always they have some kind of prongs or texturized surface. Ours is a very scary looking hammer. If you want to cook some really tender meat, you beat the meat repeatedly with the scary hammer. How do we become tender? By being beating, spiritually, emotionally, sometimes physically. By undergoing trials and adversity.

I once wrote about the three sources of trials and adversity in this life. Suffering is usually caused either by our own sins, the sins of others, or just by the natural conditions of this world. The suffering I experienced when my brother passed away was part of the natural conditions of this world. No one made him get cancer. His cancer wasn’t a result of some sin he committed. It just happened. It was tragic and painful, but it just happened. This trial is hard for me because I can’t help feeling like I am suffering it because of a sin I committed. I keep wanting to simply repent and make it better – but I can’t because it isn’t my sin to repent of.

Elder Hales said, “In this mortal life, each of us is going to experience pain in one form or another… It often comes as a result of our disobedience to the commandments of God, but it also comes to those who are doing all they can to keep their lives in line with the example of the Savior.” I have been spending all this time thinking that this kind of pain shouldn’t come to me because of the way I was living my life. I made good choices, so I shouldn’t have to experience this trial. But life doesn’t work that way. All the good choices I could ever make can’t stop others from making bad choices.

I really liked the last part of Elder Hales’ talk where he talked about how important caregivers are as we are experiencing pain. “There are times when, no matter how independent we may be, we must entrust others with our care. We must surrender ourselves to them. Our caregivers are those who assist in the healing process.”

If you know anything about me, you know that I am fiercely independent, strong willed, and incredibly head strong. In fact, earlier this year when my husband was gone on frequent business trips a member of our Relief Society presidency called me and asked if I needed anything. She commented that she wasn’t too worried about me because she could tell how independent I am, but she wanted me to know that they were there if I needed anything. I told her that she’s right, I can take care of everything, but it was nice to know they were thinking about me (and it was – it always helps me take care of myself when I know people are thinking of me).

So “surrendering” to outside help is something I would not consider doing. Last fall when I was having some emotional issues my husband made me see a therapist a few times. I would never have made the appointments on my own. A few months ago I finally broke down and talked to the bishop. It felt good to talk to him and get counsel, but I didn’t go back, thinking I could take care of it from there.

This week I am going to work on finding some caregivers. A person in chronic pain probably sees a doctor regularly. I think I should probably learn to surrender to some caregivers.

Surrendering to the ultimate Caregiver is probably going to be the hardest thing for me. Elder Hales said,

The Lord is our ultimate caregiver. We must surrender ourselves to the Lord. In doing so, we give up whatever is causing our pain and turn everything over to Him. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee”. “And then may God grand unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son”. Through faith and trust in the Lord and obedience to His counsel, we make ourselves eligible to be partakers of the Atonement of Jesus Christ so that one day we may return to live with Him.

Giving up the thing that is causing me pain is going to feel like defeat. I don’t know how not to feel like it is. I don’t know how not to feel like I have somehow failed. I don’t know how to do it, and I am pretty sure that is the thing causing me the most pain.

The Lie of Perfection

Earlier this summer I wrote about spending “some” time in the scriptures every day. Today I was thinking about that again.

I know you all have been missing me on the blog (don’t tell me if you haven’t – I like to pretend I am important), and if you read my most recent post on Real Intent you might understand why I have been out of commission for a while. It’s hard to write about spiritual things when you feel utterly non-spiritual.

In short, my soul has not been doing a lot of delighting lately.

Part of that is pregnancy hormones (antepartum depression, anyone?), and part of it is a lack of patience and accepting God’s will. Cheryl wrote recently about how she always thought curve balls would come in a certain way, and the curve balls actually came in different forms than she had anticipated. I think part of my failure to endure is because the trials and adversity that I am experiencing are exactly the last thing I thought I would ever have to endure. I thought that because of choices I had made that I would be protected somehow from these trials.

Ha.

God can’t/won’t/doesn’t (not sure which one) usually protect us from any trials. He gives them to us maybe a little too willingly for our tastes, but He knows that we can handle it. And He provides a way for us to overcome or bear them. Every time.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

You’d think I had failed seminary with all the scripture mastery verses I seem to be forgetting these days.

You’re probably wondering at this point what on earth the title of this post has to do with the actual post. Well, nothing, yet. I got distracted.

This post has to do with me learning (again … funny how Heavenly Father has to teach us the same lessons over and over and over again … if only I would learn it the first time!) that I do not have to do everything all the time every day.

What does that mean?

It means that I do not have to study the scriptures for four hours a day. One verse, even reading my favorite verse is sufficient, and if I have time one day to study for an hour or so, then great. But forgoing scripture study because I can’t study the way I want to or think I should is a dumb reason not to study the scriptures.

“Spend some time in the scriptures each day.” – Sister Beck

It means that I do not have to clean all three bathrooms in my house all the way in one day. There is no way I can feed my children, dress my children, eat healthy food myself, and keep the house reasonably clean, plus have a little time to read or do something relaxing/recreational and clean all the bathrooms all the way in one day. It’s just not possible. Even if I think to myself “I have no plans today, I can do the bathrooms today.” Ha. Not likely, and I am probably just setting myself up for failure. However, not being able to clean every corner of the bathrooms every day does not mean I should never clean the bathrooms at all.

The other day I wiped down the counters and called it good. And guess what? I felt like I had done something! I didn’t need to be perfect. Today I cleaned all of one bathroom, (the counter was already wiped – ha!) and mopped the kitchen floor. There are still dishes to be done, but the floor is clean.

I don’t have to do it all, all at once.

“Oh, please. Just let the Savior cover this day.
Let Him cover my inability to do and be everything I need to be and can’t be today.
Please let the atonement cover it.”
– Becca Riding, Cover Me, I’m Going In

The lie of perfection is that it is required of us to be 100% perfect 100% of the time, or we are complete and utter failures.

Hello – we are, by virtue of our mortal state, imperfect, and thereby “failures” (through this lens of this lie of perfection).

The hope comes in the atonement, and in doing the best we can.

Yes, I am applying the atonement to cleaning bathrooms.

Because of the atonement, I can wash the toilet in one of my bathrooms and feel like I have done enough. Some days it might be an entire bathroom, and some days it might be all three bathrooms but not the kitchen floor. Some days it might be one load of laundry and we eat frozen corn dogs for dinner.

The atonement covers all that. (if you haven’t read Becca Riding’s post about that over at Diapers and Divinity, you should. It is excellent).

One of the commenters on that post said, “As a mother I tend to put things off til the moment when all is well and no one needs me” But someone or something will always need us, and we cannot do it all, all at the same time, perfectly.

Thank heavens for the atonement.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of “perfection”? Or do you rely on the Savior’s atonement to perfect you, rather than your own works? Do you do nothing, for fear of coming up short? Or do you realize that no matter how much you do, you will always come up short, and then do as much as you can and let the atonement cover everything else?

Image Credit: Heath Robbins

Follow the Prophet

Note: This blog post was originally posted on our private family blog on October 18, 2010. I first reposted it on this blog on March 23, 2011 so that I could refer to it in another post. I am reposting it today because I want to get some more feedback on these thoughts. How do you sustain our prophets when others seem to attack them from every side - and sometimes might even seem to have rational arguments for doing so?

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, President Boyd K. Packer, whom members of the church sustain to be a “prophet, seer and revelator” gave this talk.

As a prophet, President Packer’s responsibility is to call the world to repentance – much like Noah did in his day as he built the ark, like Lehi in Jerusalem, and like many other prophets in the past.

Unfortunately, as they did with Noah and Lehi, the world has rejected the words of the prophets, and have even gone so far as to petition him to withdraw his statements. This is not a new thing. It has happened again and again throughout history, and God’s word has always remained unchanged. As President Packer so bluntly put it:

...there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature...There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed...To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I also believe in God’s word, and I firmly believe in God’s prophets who deliver His word to us – especially in these latter days.

Satan is stirring up the hearts of men. A war is waging. “Who’s on the Lord’s side, who? Now is the time to show...” This particular battle hits really close to home for me. I have had to make some really difficult decisions about some people who are very dear to me. All I can think about is how to “love one another” while still being devoted to righteousness, and not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” This article, a Q&A with Elder Oaks and a member of the 70, has been particularly helpful. I also read something Joseph Smith said in one of the first Relief Society meetings. He said, "God does not look on sin with allowance, but when men have sin'd there must be allowance made for them." We still need to be caring and compassionate - no matter the circumstance.

In response to the petition I mentioned earlier, the brethren had this to say:

Much of this was not new, but there were a lot of really great things said. A few of my favorites:

“As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman.”

“None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.”

“The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.”

I believe that people have same-gender, or homosexual, attractions, and that they can sometimes be very strong. But those people are still just children of God to me. I believe that there is nothing fundamentally different between someone who struggles with same-gender attraction, and the rest of God’s children who struggle with something else. We are all children of God experiencing trials and struggles on this earth with Satan tempting us and trying us. We inhabit imperfect bodies with imperfect emotions and chemical make ups. We all face trials. (read more about that here)

God made man and woman. He created them specifically different – to fulfill different purposes. From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

As I write this, I realize that I am not writing it to an audience of people who don’t believe in Christ and the atonement. I am writing it in hopes that someone who feels unsure about the word of God on this issue can maybe read my testimony and perhaps feel the spirit and have a little better understanding of God’s word.

It is not easy to stay true to the Savior. Especially in today’s social and political climate. There is so much of the Adversary’s influence in our societies that we can be easily confused by the arguments out there.

Sometimes I get very discouraged because the world is getting more and more wicked – good is called evil, and evil is called good. But I know that there is hope and happiness available to those who live the gospel – for those who earnestly call on God in the name of His Savior, Jesus Christ and ask for a confirmation of that which is true. The Spirit will guide us. I know that because I beg the Lord for His Spirit to be with me as I raise my children - often I feel like I don’t know anything.

If there is one thing I know is absolutely true, it is that God lives and loves us and has given us living prophets on the earth to help guide us when we become confused about how to live in the world and not be of the world.

And I hope and pray that you will try to get that testimony for yourself.

Recommended reading:

Cleansing the Inner Vessel by President Boyd K. Packer
The Q&A with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman
The Response to the HRC Petition
Many of These Articles
This Proclamation
Another Good Article by Elder Oaks

Why We Write

Note: This post was originally published on September 17, 2010. I'm reposting it because I'm on vacation! And because it was one of the first posts I wrote on this blog, before people actually read this blog - by the way, shout out to my readers - you guys are awesome, and not just because you read my blog, but for the awesome insights you share. That's what I want this blog to be about anyway - about sharing our thoughts about the scriptures. I love to learn from others and hear/read their perspectives, especially about the scriptures. So please! Keep sharing! I love your thoughts!

One of my favorite scriptures lately has been 2 Nephi 25:26:

And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. (emphasis added)

As a mother I am always striving to find ways to teach my children the gospel. More than anything, I want my children to know “to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” Christ is our Savior, our Redeemer – He has taken upon Himself the sins of the world and has conquered death. It is to Him that we must teach our children to look.

We Talk of Christ

In General Conference back in April, Elder David A. Bednar of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

Parents should be vigilant and spiritually attentive to spontaneously occurring opportunities to bear testimony to their children. Such occasions need not be programmed, scheduled, or scripted. In fact, the less regimented such testimony sharing is, the greater the likelihood for edification and lasting impact. “Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man” (D&C 84:85).

Elder Bednar’s talk about “bearing testimony spontaneously” really hit home to me. Growing up my parents didn’t really talk about the gospel outside of family home evenings, and maybe when “special” events came up, such as when my oldest brother was endowed. But there were people in my life who did talk about the gospel outside of those times, and now I find that even more.

When we are in the car, I try to talk to my children about all the things Heavenly Father created, and bear testimony of His love for us, and His love of variety and good things. The world is such a manifestation of God’s love for us.

Now that my oldest is developing a more active imagination, I have the opportunity to bear testimony to him of the power of the Holy Ghost to bring comfort to us when we are scared. I also have the opportunity to bear testimony to him of the power of prayer, and that God hears and answer him – even a little child.

These moments are not scripted – I simply talk to him about how to calm his fears. “You know, V, if you are scared, you can pray to Heavenly Father and He will send the Holy Ghost to help you sleep and have good dreams.” Even though I didn’t start out with “I’d like to bear you my testimony...” that is my testimony – loud and clear.

We Rejoice in Christ

In order for me to have something about Christ to share with my children, I have to be having experiences with Christ myself. I need to be rejoicing in Christ every day, gaining a testimony that I can share with my children.

“When we are on the path our Savior has taught us to follow, additional gifts from our Lord will be manifest in our lives, both in blessings upon us and in the blessings that we share with others through service. Charity will motivate us, and we will have reason to rejoice in Christ, ... I have had opportunities to see this truth verified over and over, in many different areas of the Church.” (here)

And this:

“Rejoice in the power you have within you from Christ to be a nucleus of love, forgiveness, and compassion.” (here)

We can rejoice in Christ by having charity, being forgiving, serving others – there are so many ways to “rejoice in Christ” and receive that testimony.

We Preach of Christ

The definitions of preach in the Merriam-Webster dictionary are: 1. to deliver a sermon, 2. to urge acceptance or abandonment of an idea or course of action, 3. to set forth in a sermon, 4. to advocate earnestly, 5. to deliver (as a sermon) publicly, 6. to bring, put, or affect by preaching.

I made bold the definitions I like the best. Preaching of Christ, to me, is urging our children to accept Him as their Savior. As the Savior is our advocate with the Father, I imagine that we are something like His advocate with our children. There is a “public” feeling to the definitions of “preach” – whereas “talking of Christ” has a more private connotation. So not only should we be talking of Christ in our homes with our children, but we must preach of Christ – around us, to our friends, to our neighbors, to the world. As our children see us unabashedly declare the divinity and mission of our Savior Jesus Christ, they will come to understand that divinity and mission themselves.

We Prophesy of Christ

Joseph Smith wrote in the articles of faith that “We believe in the gift of ... prophecy.” Prophecy is not just limited to the President of the Church, President Thomas S. Monson, and Christ’s apostles. We can prophesy of Christ in our own lives. The dictionary says that to prophesy is “to utter by or as if by divine inspiration.”

In Revelations 10:10, we learn that “...the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” So, if we have a testimony of Jesus, then we can prophecy of Him by bearing testimony.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “’We prophesy of Christ’ means that we express our testimony of Him by the power of the Spirit... As those who anciently prophesied of His first advent, we also confirm in word and deed the prophecies of His Second Coming.”

So we prophesy of Christ by echoing in testimony the prophesies of the Bible, of the Book of Mormon, and of Latter Day prophets.

We Write According to Our Prophecies

My children are young right now, almost four and almost two, and they do not understand (nor would they appreciate) some of the trials that I face in my life, and my testimony that guides my approach to these trials, and grows in the aftermath of the trials.

In order to preserve these experiences for my children, and for my posterity, I write in a journal, and I write on my blogs. Some day I will read to them from my journal, or allow them to read from my journal, and I as we publish our blogs into books, they will be able to read those at their leisure as well.

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“What could you do better for your children and your children’s children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved? Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity.”

I am working on writing more of the “rich passages” that my posterity might quote, and talking about my “triumphs over adversity, [my] recovery after a fall, [my] progress when all seemed black, [and my] rejoicing when [I] had finally achieved.”

It doesn’t do to be negative or belittling of your life in your journal. “The truth should be told, but we should not emphasize the negative. Even a long life full of inspiring experiences can be brought to the dust by one ugly story.” (Pres. Kimball) It also doesn’t need to be made to seem more glamorous than it really is. “Your journal should contain your true self rather than a picture of you when you are ‘made up’ for a public performance.” (Pres. Kimball)

I don’t think I have a problem with painting a more glamorous picture of myself, but occasionally I do dwell on the negative, without talking about how I overcame the negative trial. My goal for my journal writing from now on will be recording those things President Kimball talked about – the triumphs, recoveries, progress, and rejoicing.

 

I testify that as we talk of Christ, preach of Christ, testify of Christ, prophesy of Christ, and write according to our prophesies, our children will come to know to “what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” I have seen it in my own life as I testify to my children, and I know you will see it in your life with your children.

In what ways to you bear spontanteous testimony, as Elder Bednar counseled? Do you keep a personal journal? What kinds of things do you write about? How do you rejoice in Christ? Have you seen your children look to Christ because of your living this scripture?

Nephi and the Law of Moses

I have been intrigued recently by the fact that Nephi and his descendants obeyed the law of Moses, even when it is apparent that they understood the fullness of Christ's gospel.

Nephi's understanding of the plan of salvation is impressive, given that he lived six hundred years before the coming of Christ, and he lived in Jerusalem in a time when the Jews did not even understand the Law of Moses.

And, notwithstanding we believe in Christ, we keep the law of Moses, and look forward with steadfastness unto Christ, until the law shall be fulfilled. For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law because of the commandments.

It is significant that Nephi said the law of Moses was dead to them because they knew that it was only a type of Christ, a reminder of what was really important.

I believe this is one of the reasons Lehi and his family were led to the promised land. They understood that the law of Moses wasn't the important part of the gospel. The important part was faith in Christ and his atonement and sacrifice.


Nephi understood that the law of Moses would be fulfilled.

Wherefore, we speak concerning the law that our children may know the deadness of the law; and they, by knowing the deadness of the law, may look forward unto that life which is in Christ, and know for what end the law was given. And after the law is fulfilled in Christ, that they need not harden their hearts against him when the law ought to be done away.

Nephi and his brethren took care to teach their children that the law of Moses was only a type of Christ, and a way to be reminded of His coming. It was important to them to teach their children tha the law of Moses is "dead" and that life is found only in and through the Savior, Jesus Christ. They wanted to make sure that when Christ finally came their children would be willing to accept Christ's fulfillment of the law of Moses, rather than harden their hearts toward the Savior, as the Jews in Jerusalem would do when he came.

Why do you think it is significant that Nephi described the law of Moses as being "dead"? Why did they continue living the law of Moses when they knew of the fullness of the gospel?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Relief Society - catch the vision

One of my favorite quotes about Relief Society is from President Spencer W Kimball. He said,

"There is a power in this organization that has not yet been fully exercised to strengthen the homes of Zion and build the Kingdom of God - nor will it until both the sisters and the priesthood catch the vision of Relief Society."

I don't know about you, but most days I feel like I could use a little extra of God's power. I believe Satan is trying to keep us from fully experiencing all the power God has for us to use. He attacks women from every side. We think men have all the temptations - but women are not exempt from the attacks of Satan and his followers.

One of the ways that I believe we are attacked is by the voices who claim that lack of ordination to a priesthood office in some way diminishes a woman's significance and ability in God's plan. I frequently hear people talk about how blacks did not have the priesthood, and then came the revelation - and many are "waiting" (some more... actively... than others) for a similar revelation extending ordination to priesthood offices to women.

What those women (and men) fail to realize is that while black women and men were actually kept from obtaining all of the saving priesthood ordinances - for example, black men could not be endowed or sealed in the temple - women can receive every priesthood ordinance. In my mind there is no comparison between the two circumstances. Moreover, women are already eligible for every priesthood ordinance and power.

But I have written that post. I just feel like it needs to be said again. Satan keeps us from the power God would bestow upon us by distracting us with feelings of inferiority or indignation due to a perceived "lack". (I will add a disclaimer here to say that I believe men - and women - in the Church cause a lot of the misconceptions and bitter feelings about the priesthood - from women who are oppressed and don't care to men who exercise unrighteous dominion, there are those in the Church who misuse and misunderstand priesthood authority (which is different from priesthood power).)

If we can allow ourselves to get past the feelings of maltreatment and really focus on what the priesthood really is then I think we will see the power of the sisters in Relief Society grow in ways that will be surprising to all of us.

Another way Satan attacks is women is by attacking and diminishing motherhood.

If we thought of our Heavenly Mother as a co-creator with God and if we understood her divine role as nurturer of our eternal souls, would we not crave to be like her?

Society and the world would reduce motherhood down to the drudgery of changing diapers and doing laundry. But God's mothers have a divine, dignified role. We are not simply nannies or child care professionals. Our purpose is much higher. It is God's purpose - "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

We are preparing covenant keeping Saints who are ready and willing to enter the waters of baptism and the doors of the temple. This is no small task, nor is it menial or dreary (although some of the mortal aspects can seem that way). I have been getting a lot more enjoyment out of the drudgery as I have come to more fully understand the sanctity of motherhood and what it really means to be a woman.

I have felt overwhelmed and inadequate as I have come to better understand my responsibility and role as a mother. To be honest, I have been scared quite out of my mind.

And then I fall to my knees and beg for help with these precious spirits. The atonement covers all pain. Including the pain of motherhood, and it covers the gaps between the mother we should be and the mother we are.

These are the two major ways I see Satan attacking women and distracting us from "catch[ing] the vision of Relief Society". Men have p*rnography and work, women have priesthood-confusion and mother-demeaning. Satan will do whatever he can to destroy God's plan.

This talk I have been studying by President Julie B Beck about quorums and Relief Societies has been really great. I especially loved this quote about quorums and Relief Societies:

We are not in the entertainment business; we are in the salvation business.

I hope that we can all remember that we do have all the blessings and powers available through the priesthood, and that we can remember how sacred motherhood is and view it with the significance and importance it deserves, and not be caught up in the drudgery.

Have you caught the vision of Relief Society? What is the vision of Relief Society to you? In what ways do you see Satan distracting women from the vision of Relief Society?

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Pleasing Unto God

My post yesterday was only the first part of a two part story.

I did struggle for a few days with that scripture - 2 Nephi 5:21. In fact, I kept rereading it every night for a few nights thinking that by really paying attention I might come to understand what was going on there. After a few nights I finally gave up, sort of.

I just pressed on.

It didn't get better, in fact it just got worse, talking about the Lamanites being a scourge to the Nephites (of course, that prophesy is fulfilled over and over again in the Book of Mormon).

But then, quite abruptly, the talk about the cursed Lamanites stops, and suddenly Nephi feels it is pertinent to include here that he is making this record by the commandment of God, and that he is trying to write things that are pleasing to Him.




Then Nephi writes, "And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates."

And suddenly, that knot left in my stomach by 2 Nephi 5:21 unwound itself, and I felt peace.

Why?

Because I am pleased with the things of God (most of the time). And so, I can be pleased with (or my soul can delight in) that controversial verse in 2 Nephi chapter 5 in the Book of Mormon. Especially after writing out all my thoughts in the previous post (a post which I thought about writing when I first read the verse, but the thoughts weren't complete yet) I now feel comfortable, even happy, with that verse.

God doesn't make bad things happen, but He knows bad things will happen, and He also knows how to protect us from the potentially spiritually damaging side effects of those bad things - but we have to obey Him, and come unto Him, and be saved by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ whom He sent.

What examples can you think of where the Lord has protected good people from the effects of wickedness? What about times when He has allowed wicked men to affect the wicked? How can we protect ourselves (and our families) from the wickedness in the world?


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Washed Clean

I was sitting in sacrament meeting at the organ - which meant that someone else had my kids and I could ponder during the sacrament. My thoughts drifted to the events of the previous day, Saturday.

One of the perks of playing the piano is being asked to play at baptisms. Saturday was one of those occasions for me. The member of the bishopric who was presiding told the young woman who was baptized that she had been washed clean and that it she would continue to repent and be worthy to partake of the sacrament she could be washed clean each Sunday as she partook of the sacrament.




I knew this doctrine before and I have always believed it, but that day as I took the tiny cup of water and felt the cool liquid wash down my throat, I actually felt clean. I felt as if in that moment I was as perfect and clean as I was after my baptism.

Recently I have been thinking (and writing) about repentance and the atonement, and I feel like as this has been a focus in my personal study, I have been applying the principles of repentance more effectively.




It is this application of the atonement that has made the difference. In order for the sacrament to cleanse us, we must be repentant.

I know that I am clean - perfectly clean - after repenting and partaking of the sacrament. I know that as I strive to live the gospel and repent when I fall short and rely on Christ, I can partake of the sacrament and be cleansed as if by the waters of baptism.

Do you feel clean when you take the sacrament? How do you feel as you apply the principles of the atonement in your life?


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Teach the Plan

I realized the other day that it has been a while since I posted anything scripture related - and, well, since the title of this blog is "My Soul Delighteth in the scriptures" I thought I should probably write about the scriptures.



I feel like there has been a theme in the things I have been reading and studying and feeling over the past few weeks. It has not been a theme I picked out for myself, but I believe Heavenly Father needs me to learn something about this.

Julie commented on a post the other day saying she had been inspired to "Teach repentance." I have felt a similar prompting. It seems like every thing that I pick up to read or study has this theme - teach the atonement and repentance. I listened to the General Sunday School board testify of the importance of teaching the plan of redemption. I read about it in Teaching, No Greater Call. I was impressed to write a post about teaching our children about repentance and the atonement, and then tonight I sat down to read the Book of Mormon with the intent to find something in the scriptures to post about on this blog and I discovered that the next passage of scripture in my read-through of the Book of Mormon is 2 Nephi 2. If you aren't very familiar with that chapter I would suggest you go read it. It's one of the best sermons on the plan of salvation. Right up there with Alma 32 and Mosiah 4.

In verse 5 Lehi says that "men are instructed sufficiently that they may know good from evil" and then he testifies "how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth." In order to fully exercise our agency, we must be "instructed sufficiently" so that we can know good from evil.

Remember that post I wrote a while ago about the connection between knowledge and agency?

In order to choose eternal life, men must be instructed sufficiently to be able to discern right from wrong, and they must be aware of what the choices are. Freja wrote an excellent post on the same topic on Faithful Freja, and I recommend her post (and her blog).

How to you learn and teach repentance and the plan of salvation? Do you feel more free to choose as you learn about the Father's plan? How does having a knowledge and understanding of the plan of salvation help you properly use your agency?

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What if I make a wrong choice?–the miracle of forgiveness

I have mentioned before that I am kind of tender hearted (i.e., a sap) and just about anything will make me bawl like a baby.

Like today when we got our April Ensign and Friend magazines and I started looking through the Friend magazine (I like to find the stories that will be applicable to our family so I can turn to them quickly when I want to read them with the kids – although we usually end up reading the entire magazine) I cried reading just about every single story in there. Little children are very precious to me, and perhaps this is why I am such a softy when it comes to kids (a few weeks ago the choir sang A Child’s Prayer with a children’s chorus and let me tell you how I cried – I couldn’t help myself!)

I am assuming the editors chose a theme of repentance for the Friend this month because we will celebrate Easter this month, and that’s what Easter is all about (the atonement and resurrection). But whatever their reasoning, I want to give a big hug to the editing team of the Friend this month. Toward the middle of the magazine was a big colorful spread about making good media choices. There were some cute stories from kids around the United States, and then I saw this in the middle of the page:

If you don’t know how important it is that we teach children that making unwise choices is part of this mortal experience let me tell you now.  Please, please teach your children that it is okay to make mistakes – Why? Because you need to teach them how to access the atonement.

I cannot stress the importance of this enough. I have seen the despair and hopelessness that comes from an understanding of the commandments without an understanding of the atonement. Please do not teach your children the commandments of the Lord if you are not following up immediately with teachings of the atonement.

Think about what you are teaching your children if you spend all your time teaching them about obedience and do not teach – by word as well as by example – about the power of the atonement. You are teaching them what they should or should not be doing, but you haven’t taught them what to do when they don’t get it right. It’s like you are throwing your child into the ocean without teaching them how to swim. Who would do that to their child?

What do you do when you make a poor decision? Do you use the atonement? Let your children see you using the atonement. Teach by example.When you get frustrated with your children, apologize to their faces, and ask for forgiveness, and tell them that you are going to pray to Heavenly Father to forgive you as well. Our children need to see us using the atonement.

We cannot just teach our children what the atonement is by giving them the cute little “ABC’s” of the repentance process. What would we expect if we gave our kids a neat little rhyme that tells them how to swim, but we never take them to the pool to practice swimming?

I think that teaching the atonement by example is harder for us to do as parents than maybe teaching other gospel principles (such as service) because we often think of repentance as a private thing. Of course I am not suggesting that you tell your kids every bad things you have done/said, but when they witness you make a poor choice let them also witness the repentance process. You don’t have to invite them to come watch you pray, but you can let them know that you are going to go say a prayer now to ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness, and you can tell them how you are going to make things right (and be really specific with this one, and let your children watch you make the thing right).

When your child makes a poor choice, do not scold them or lecture them. Use it as a teaching moment to bear your testimony to them of the power of the atonement.

There are too many people who were raised in the Church who have either left the Church or are still active but in deep despair and pain because they were not taught the true Gospel – that the Savior suffered for our sins and that by His blood we can be made perfect. Not just okay again, but perfect. Absolutely sin-free through the atonement. I see the hurt in their hearts and in their lives when they think because they broke a commandment (even a very serious commandment) that there can be no forgiveness for them – and they are good for nothing. But how wrong are they! They are good for everything, and if only someone had taught them of the atoning sacrifice of their Savior and how to use it!

Can you tell this is close to my heart?

I believe in the atonement of our Savior. I know that He took upon Himself every poor choice we can even imagine making. I know more perfectly than I know just about anything that we are not lost causes, that we can be okay with ourselves because He loves us and wants us to come to Him with our burdens and our struggles and our pain and our agony because He suffered it first. He already took everything on Himself. We just need to be wiling to give it all to Him.

I realize that in order for us to teach this gospel principle to our children we need to understand it and be applying it ourselves. If you don’t have a testimony of the atonement, if you don’t know how to use it, start today and learn about it. Study about the atonement, talk to your bishop/parent/spouse. And most importantly, start using the atonement in your life! (it is a daily-use principle)

Here are some resources I found for you:

What is the Atonement of Jesus Christ? (mormon.org)
The Atonement of Jesus Christ (lds.org)
Sins and Mistakes, Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Helping Children Repent
The Miracle of Forgiveness, Spencer W. Kimball
Believing Christ, Stephen E. Robinson (there is a BYU speech here that is probably like a short version of the book, but I highly recommend the book – you can get it for about $1 on Amazon)
everything I have written about the atonement – me

How do you teach your children about the atonement? Do you let your children see you use the atonement?