Wake Up! Don't You Know What We Have?

"Sometimes we sleepwalk on the path of discipleship." 

- Pres. Uchtdorf 

Saturday AM Session General Conference October 2016

One of those repetitive lessons that we hear over and over again is the plan of salvation. It seems like such a simple thing, such a plain truth, that it is easy to take for granted. In his Saturday morning address, President Uchtdorf explained that when people would ask about the Church he would usually start with something about the word of wisdom, or draw parallels between our beliefs and the beliefs of other religions. However, he mentioned, explaining the plan of salvation to people had the biggest impact. He said:

Some of my friends would say that this message felt familiar, even though such things were never taught in their religious upbringing. It was as if they had always known these things to be true, as if I was simply casting light on something that was always and deeply rooted in their hearts.

A few weeks ago, I came across this video - some missionaries in the Billings Montana mission rapping about the first lesson the missionaries usually teach - the lesson about the restoration and the plan of salvation. I enjoy rap in general (clean rap, which is hard to find!) but this song resonated with me in a way no other song outside of the hymnbook has ever been able to do.

I believe it is because the content is so powerful. The plan of salvation is such a powerful truth. I love President Uchtdorf's description of the plan of salvation in his talk. If you haven't read it I highly encourage you to read it. I may print it out and make a goal to read it at least once a week, even though it is so familiar to me. President Uchtdorf cautioned, "It seems to be human nature: as we become more familiar with something, even something miraculous and awe-inspiring, we lose our sense of awe and treat it as commonplace." I don't want to treat the glorious doctrine of restoration and the atonement and the gospel plan as commonplace! I want to adore it and appreciate it.

President Uchtdorf's sleepwalking comment hit me between the eyes. Do I sleepwalk on the path of discipleship? I think I have been sleeping walking for a while, and I want to wake up! Well, this is me waking up! What am I going to do to show that I am not sleepwalking? I am going to share the glorious message of the plan of salvation and the love of our Father in Heaven for us! I encourage you to do the same. Share the plan any time you can with whoever you can.

"What shall we give in return for the flood of light and truth God has poured out upon us?" (Pres. Uchtdorf)

An Eventful Year - Revelation and the Lord's Timing

I don't usually post "Year in Review" type blog posts. However, I was reading my New Years' post from 2012 in which I wrote that 2011 and been "the best of times and the worst of times". Perhaps that statement could sum up life in general, because 2013 definitely fits that same description.

I'm sure you have all been missing me, dear readers. And I just want to warn you that this is not me "coming back" really. I hope to be back eventually, and I imagine the summers will be better, but life has thrown me a few curve balls.

In 2013, I had five major life events: birth of a child, starting school, divorce, new job, and remarriage.

Birth of a Child

There are so many thoughts and feeling that are rushing around inside of me about the birth of my second son. His birth was amazing and spiritual and perfect and wonderful and everything I wanted it to be.Heather, from Women in the Scriptures, was my doula - and she was an amazing doula. She will deny it up and down, but I regard Heather as a spiritual giant. I feel like the labor and delivery went so well because she was there, with her faith and her knowledge and her testimony, I could just feel the power of God around me and with me. And if not from Heather, then from what she has taught me about the priesthood and womanhood and motherhood through the past several years, both on her blog and in personal conversations. She is an amazing woman.

Starting School

I felt inspired this year that I should go back to school to finish the few courses I need to qualify for a teaching license. Although I have a bachelor's degree in Math, I don't have a teaching license, and I had been feeling something nagging at me to get my license and teach. Because I was married to a soldier I didn't know how much time I would have in any one place, so I figured that I needed my education to be as portable as possible. So in May I applied to an online university to finish my teacher prep courses. Because of the next major life event, I am so grateful that I listened to the prompting to go back to school and prepare to be a teacher.

Getting a Divorce

This is probably the longest story, and I am not going to tell it all right here, right now (but you can read my emotions about a lot of it in my previous posts about my faith crumbling through adversity and trials). Suffice it to say that when I was scared to death (literally) of leaving my marriage, when I thought it would be better to be dead that divorced, when I argued with Heavenly Father, wondering why He would ask me to do something I knew was against His plan, when my faith seemed to be threadbare, something happened. I got strength from a place I had forgotten about, and somehow, I got out.

And there I was, hurting, broken, but feeling like I had burst out of a dark prison.

I felt like my life had crumbled around me, but God gave me a vision of what my new life could be if I would just cling to Him. And that is what I have been doing.

Starting a New Job

Due to the previous major life event, I needed to get a job so I could provide for my family. I submitted applications for a job on Monday in between filling out divorce papers. I filed for divorce on Tuesday, interviewed for a job on Friday, and was offered the job on Tuesday of the next week. A full time job teaching math at a middle school in a nice neighborhood about 10 minutes from my house. My good friend was looking for a job and is a fantastic mother and I asked and she offered to be our day care practically at the same moment. It was meant to be.

However, my first paycheck wasn't going to come until late September. Because I had started school I had just received some student loan funds. Between the student loans and my amazing ward I was able to make it to September with money to spare. Heavenly Father is watching out for me.

Getting Remarried
This story is probably longer than the divorce story, but I am pretty sure it can be summed up in two principles: receiving and understanding personal revelation (which I wrote about here) and the Lord's timing is not always our timing - which the Stake President mentioned in that blessing.

Did you know that "in due time" doesn't necessarily mean "in a loooong time"? That's what I thought when the Stake President promised me that I would experience the joy of marriage again and followed that promise up with "in due time" which he repeated! I was thinking "so, I'll get married again in a really really really long time. Imagine my surprise when I met my new husband and three days later Heavenly Father informed me that he would be my new husband. Come to find out "in due time" means "at the appropriate time" - which apparently is 3 months after a divorce (for me). Who knew? It didn't take my husband long to receive the same revelation, so then the only question was "when"? We prayed about it and I felt inspired that we should pick a date and take it to Heavenly Father for approval. We looked at my calendar (being a teacher I don't get a lot of time off work) and picked a date mid-January. After a few days I had a nagging feeling that it wasn't soon enough. So we thought "After Christmas would be great". Nope, wrong again. Finally we picked the day before Thanksgiving (which at this point was about a month away). Yep. It felt right. We talked to my bishop, we talked to my parents, we talked to his parents, we told our kids (six of them altogether!), and it happened! So yeah, it all boils down to receiving and understanding revelation and the Lord's timing is not always our timing.

So now you know where I have been for the last 6-12 months. Going through a painful divorce, starting school and a job, and getting remarried to a wonderful man who loves God with all of his heart, might, mind and strength, with me as a close second.

I hope to be able to write more often, but don't hold your breath. Of course, now that I have "come out" and you all know my little secrets, it will be easier for me to write. I always like being open and "real" on my blog, and I feel like I have been lying the past year or so because my marriage was so awful. So, comment on here and tell me you're still reading and I will try to post more often. If no one cares that I was gone I will probably just post whenever it happens (which might not be very often!).

What lessons did you learn last year?

I Never Would Have Known

I have written before about feminist topics, and it's no secret that while I feel compassion for the women who have suffered because of the ignorance of men (and women) in the Church, I have been completely unimpressed and sometimes annoyed by the Mormon feminist movement.

Today, my feelings changed.

I have never been particularly concerned about what it meant to be a woman. I loved the Young Women's organization but was excited to be a member of the Relief Society where I could mingle with woman of all ages and learn from their wisdom. I knew that I had a lot to learn from such amazing women, women I wanted to be like - but if you had asked me what it meant to be a woman I wouldn't have been able to tell you. I may have said something involving service and motherhood and Relief Society, but I doubt I would have said anything about the priesthood, and I probably wouldn't have said anything about Heavenly Mother (although I was firmly convinced of her existence and love for me - as a lover of the hymns, my favorite lines of "O, My Father" are the ones that mention her - "Truth is reason, truth, eternal, tells me I've a mother there" and "Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?").

Then the Relief Society published the book Daughters in My Kingdom. At first I didn't read it. In fact, I  only briefly leafed through the pages. I was a busy mother of small children, and reading a book about the Relief Society didn't really interest me at the time.

But then something stirred in me.

Image Credit: epSos.de

I think it was around the time of the General Relief Society broadcast in September 2011, although my heart was being prepared during perhaps the year before that as I talked to my sister about starting a blog for LDS women, with authors in all walks of life - young women, young wives with children, young wives without children, those who had adopted, those who were infertile, older women, working moms, stay at home moms, retired mom, older women who had never married or had children. I envisioned a Zion for women.

Then I started searching for blogs for LDS Women. I eventually found and fell in love with Heather's blog, Women in the Scriptures, among others, but in my searching I also stumbled across some not-quite-what-I-was-looking for blogs. Like Feminist Mormon Housewives, and Mormon Mommy Wars, to name a few. As I read what other women were writing I realized that there were women who didn't understand what it meant to be a woman in the Church, and I found myself wondering if I really knew what it meant.

That was when something stirred in me.

I wanted to know, really know, what it meant to be a woman, a daughter of God. I knew what it meant to be a mother - I had been preparing for that my entire life. But I wasn't sure I knew what it meant to be a woman.

About the same time I was going through this quest for an understanding of womanhood, the Mormon feminist movement gained momentum. I am pretty sure a large part of that was fueled by questions about Mormonism surrounding the United States presidential primaries, since one of the most likely candidates was a Mormon. But every time I turned around, people were talking to women like Joanna Brooks - disillusioned, non-practicing Mormon women who had been hurt and oppressed by unrighteous men in their lives, and were taking out their frustration and anger on the Church. I became increasingly frustrated and annoyed with their presence in the media and their criticism of Church leaders. Where were the women like me?

Over the past few years I have learned a lot about what it means to be a woman. Most of my new understand has come, ironically, through discussion and articles prompted by the Mormon feminist movement. Today I realized that most of the things that I have learned and the perspectives I have gained I can attribute directly to the Mormon feminist movement - either because something they said prompted my own fierce studying of a topic, or because of the responses of other women who understand what it means to be a woman.

So, in hindsight, I am grateful for all the feminist commotion because of the things I never would have known.

Have you learned things because of something that originally annoyed or frustrated you? Has someone else's questions or concerns about the gospel prompted you to study the gospel more fervently, and resulted in a greater understanding?

Mine Angels Will Encircle Thee

Some days are First Vision days, and some days are Liberty Jail days.

Today was more like a Liberty Jail day. You know, where you wonder where God is hiding, and you just want Him to come and save you.

Thankfully I live in an awesome ward, and several wonderful ladies came to my aid - came to save me.

And the awesome truth is that God will never hide from us.

"So hold on thy way,
For I shall be with thee.
And mine angels shall encircle thee.
Doubt not what thou knowest,
Fear not man,
for he Cannot hurt thee."

If you need a reminder (like I did) this song is a great one:

What are your favorite reminders that God is never hiding?

Search, Ponder, and Pray

I have been doing a lot of searching and pondering lately – but probably not as much praying as I should.

My mind has been full of thoughts in the past several weeks, which may be why I have postponed writing anything for the blog. I guess I just feel like there is too much to write, I don’t know where to begin. There is so much confusion in this world that I believe could be resolved with a clear understanding of the doctrines of Christ – an understanding it seems some very public members of the Church are lacking.

Ironically, one of the other problems with much of the public discussion I have found involves members of the Church either making claims of doctrinal issues with the Church when the actual doctrine says nothing of the sort, or making a statement about perceived attitudes and behaviors that “the members” of the Church or “the culture” of the Church produces. It just seems as if the most vocal members of the Church are those who are dissatisfied. And that is anyone is fully satisfied with the Church, they are considered to be “unintellectual” or somehow brainwashed, or chauvinistic, or otherwise criticized. But those who would criticize Church culture and speak negatively about Church doctrine, or suggest that the general membership of the Church does not understand Church doctrine are lauded as “intellectuals” and has somehow having a point.

I think there is significance in asking questions. After all, the pattern of revelation is that we ask questions. However, I feel that far too often the members in the public eye who are asking questions are not seeking revelation, but are rather seeking change in doctrine, or they simply want to complain about how wrong they thing the Church is… yet they still want to claim they are faithful members of the Church.

As I have been exposed to these influences (those who would criticize the Church while claiming to remain faithful to it) I have asked similar questions to the ones they have posed, yet in a spirit of seeking revelation and inspiration – and the beautiful thing is that I have received personal revelation about gospel principles. I feel as if my understanding has been enlarged in a substantial way in the past several months, and I am grateful for that opportunity.

At the same time, my soul is still in a little turmoil wondering how I can reach out to those who seem confused or those who lack faith. How do we encourage those who are not exercising faith to do so? When Elder Perry asked us to follow the spirit as we decide to add our voice to an online discussion, I didn’t think it would be so heartbreaking to refrain when required. I have added my voice to a few discussions in the online world where I have felt prompted to do so, yet even in doing so I remain in a state of turmoil, wondering what I can do to help those around me see what I see.

How do we help people see what we see? How do we help them have what we have? Can we ever do it?

I feel so blessed with the understanding of the gospel and testimony that I have, and my greatest desire is that others can have the same understand and testimony. I do not know everything, but I feel like what I have helps me understand even more complex principles of the gospel – which are all actually very basic, once you get over looking at them through a mortal lens.

I don’t really even know if this post made any sense beyond just me rambling – I just felt like I needed to get some of this out of me and on paper where it mattered (not that it really matters on this blog – but maybe someone will find this and read it and maybe they will be able to help me, or maybe this will help them, or maybe a comment one of you will make will help someone – who knows).

So I guess my point is that in all of these questions and issues that have been coming up in the public forum I have done a lot of searching (the scriptures, books, articles, websites, etc) and a lot of pondering on these subjects, and yet in spite of my feelings of testimony and understand I still feel disquieted.

And as I thought of a title for this post, I realized that the missing key is prayer. I have not prayed about all these things that have been a whirlwind in my mind. Perhaps as I take my turmoil to the Father in prayer He can help quiet my soul and put me at peace and help me find a way to express these thoughts that are laying deep inside me, waiting for something.

Pay it Forward

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart,
so let him give;
not grudgingly, or of necessity:
for God loveth a cheerful giver.

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you;
that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things,
may abound to every good work:

2 Corinthians 9:7-8

I’ve been thinking a lot about the seasons of womanhood and motherhood, and it got me thinking about a certain friend of mine who always seems to be helping me out, but who never seems to need my help.

I thought back to when my second child was born, and I was suddenly the mother of a barely 2-year-old and a brand new baby. I didn't do much of anything. I barely cleaned the house, and I mostly just sat around reading books, nursing, and sitting with my kids on the trampoline while V jumped around merrily, and J nursed merrily. There were a lot of days when my friend would have V over for a play date so I could stay home and rest with J (one particular time was when I had a nasty infection, and I just needed to sleep and nurse).

I remember thinking about how badly I wanted to repay my friend, but it never seemed like she needed anything from me (she still seems that way to me - we are still very good friends, and it always seems like she takes care of me more than I take care of her).

Image Credit: WPW

After several months of this friend helping me with absolutely no way to "pay her back" I realized that this life is not about "getting even" with people who help us. It's about using our resources to help those we can help, and accepting help from those with resources to help us. As the scripture I quoted above says, God will make “all grace abound toward” us (send us people to help us out) so that we will have sufficient for our needs, and we will be able to help others and do good things. He doesn’t say “that ye will be able to serve them that have served you in the same capacity in which they have served you.”

And so I decided that I was going to "pay it forward" and help anyone I had resources to help.

I have since had many experiences where a friend has said the same thing to me. "I feel like you help me so much, but I have nothing to give in return!" And I gently explain to them, "You don't need to feel like you need to repay me for the things I do to help you. Some day you will be in a position to help someone, so just help them.”

I am at a period in my life when I am able to help a lot of people while not needing much help myself. I am in a relatively emotionally stable state, my children are a little older, and my husband has a really good, stable job. I have lots that I can give, emotionally, spiritually, and temporally. But I know that my life won’t always be that way, and there will be times when I will have to accept help, emotionally, spiritually, and temporally.

Have you ever felt like you needed to “pay back” someone who had helped you, but realized that they didn’t have any needs you could fill? How do you “pay it forward” when you are shown grace and kindness by others?

Friday Fragments

I’m going to do a little break from the ordinary here, mostly because I need it, and list 5 things I am grateful for (not necessarily in order of importance).

-1-

My Family.

Not just my family – everything about them. My heritage. The values my parents and my grandparents have instilled in their children and grandchildren. I am a member of a very giving, open, loving, caring, generous family. I could go on and on with examples of ways the Joseph Theron Smith family is amazing, but I’ll just say they are wonderful. Amazing and wonderful.

-2-

My husband.

Although he isn’t always very patient with me, he does help me see my weaknesses, and I can’t change what I don’t know is wrong. Marriage has been a great tool to help me grow and develop my personal characteristics. I just hope my husband can stand me long enough to let me grow.

-3-

The gospel.

Just read my blog. You’ll know why. I’m particularly fond of the Book of Mormon lately.

-4-

Search Engines.

Particularly the one on LDS.org, but any one that assists me in a search for knowledge and information.

-5-

My body.

I am always amazed at the ingenuity of our physical bodies. Their ability to heal themselves is miraculous to me. I wish I could say I take excellent care of my physical body, but sometimes I let it slide… and there really isn’t a good excuse. I need to take better care of it. Speaking of which… I better go get some breakfast so we can go the the gym! We’re going as a family today, with my sister and her husband, too! It’s going to be great (I hope – I’m still pretty sore from pump class on Tuesday…)

What are you grateful for?

Find more random bits of Friday
over at Women in the Scriptures

And don’t forget to come back tomorrow morning and link up your Sunday Reads!

Look Up When You Can’t Sing

(find the talks here – It Is Better to Look Up - and here – The Songs They Could Not Sing)

Elder Quentin L. Cook pointed out that one of the questions General Authorities hear the most is “Why does Heavenly Father allow bad things to happen to good people?”

My husband and I have talked about this principle a lot. It is also spoken about in General Conference pretty frequently. There are three sources of suffering that we may experience in this mortal life.

1.) suffering caused by our own sins/disobedience to God’s commandments
2.) suffering caused by the sins of others/their disobedience to God’s commandments
3.) suffering caused by the mortality and imperfection of this world and our bodies – disease, natural disasters, etc

Elder Quentin L. Cook made a really good point when he said, “Adverse results in this mortal life are not evidence of lack of faith or of an imperfection in our Father in Heaven’s overall plan.” First of all – of course it is not evidence of an imperfection in Heavenly Father’s plan! His plan is perfect, and His plan and purpose for each of us is beautiful and perfect and will ultimately bless our lives in ways we never thought possible if we will have faith and turn to Him. I think that we are quick to judge both ourselves and others when we encounter adversity. It is easy to think that someone “brought upon themselves” their trials. But remember those three sources of suffering? Only one of them has anything to do with our own choices.

“The refiner’s fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God.” Lately I have been enduring some trials that have been caused by source #2. I have found myself staring at the floor, wondering what is wrong with me and why this his happening to me, and trying to figure out what I did to deserve this (that is, I was thinking that I was enduring these trials because of source #1). Elder Carl B. Cook asked, “Why is it a challenge to consistently look up in our lives? Perhaps we lack the faith that such a simple act can solve our problems.” I did not have the faith that looking up would solve my problems. My problems were being caused by the agency of another person. How could anything I could do change anything? I wasn’t the one making poor choices – I can’t make choices for other people. That was when I read Corine’s post on charity and I realized that even though the suffering was caused by another’s choices, I could choose how to deal with the trial.

Elder Carl B. Cook said, “As I thought of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s power, my heart found the comfort I had sought in vain from the floor of that descending elevator.” Notice that Elder Cook’s problems didn’t go away – but he did find comfort. He went on to say that if we “exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy.” I have really been experiencing a refiner’s fire lately, and as I have been turning to the Lord for strength, and practicing charity, I have been learning that these trials are the Lord’s way of perfecting me and purifying me. For what? Maybe nothing other than to live with Him again someday. But as I look to the Lord for strength in my trials, and as I learn to forgive and love, I am feeling myself grow and develop in ways I didn’t even know I needed to grow.

When Elder Quentin L. Cook spoke about songs that will not be sung, it reminded me of my older brother. My oldest brother passed away a little over a year ago. There were so many songs he didn’t get to sing – and yet, there were so many things he was able to do in his life. Elder Cook pointed out “A unique challenge for those who have lost loved ones is to avoid dwelling on the lost opportunities in this life.” For me, this lost opportunity would be the opportunity to encourage my brother to come back to the Church.

The prophet Joseph Smith said “The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope.” The glorious part about loosing my brother is that he is not gone forever. He is in the Spirit world (which is all around us) and he can still learn and progress, and I feel like he may come back to the Church. I know at least that he is with our family – our grandparents and aunts and uncles, and they are looking after him and teaching him and testifying to him.

What did you learn about adversity and trial from these talks? Do you look up when you are feeling discouraged or when trials are in your way? Have you felt like you were in a refiner’s fire? Did you feel yourself growing? Did you see a more perfect version of yourself come out of the fire?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

Friday Fragments Vol 5

 

On Fast Sunday I was fasting for a particular thing (some answers to some very important questions). As I prayed at one point during our meetings, I had a very distinct stupor of thought during which I basically forgot about what I had been fasting for. After that stupor, I received some of the most beautiful revelation about a subject that was significantly more important at this moment in my life – revelation I wouldn’t have received if I had been occupied with getting answers I thought I needed.

Turns out Heavenly Father knows my needs better than I know them. Good thing.

My husband and I were talking last night about a woman he works with who’s husband, when her family was much younger, was always serving in bishoprics and stake presidencies. All but one of their seven children are no longer active in the Church, and in fact, want nothing to do with the Church because they see it as this horrible organization that took away their father and mother (their mother, for some reason, also had many leadership callings while their father was a bishop and their children were young). This broken-hearted woman told my husband that she thought the sacrifices they made for the Church were going to “save” her children in a sense.

Unfortunately, she didn’t understand that the Church’s role is to support the family, not the other way around. I suppose it is easy for people serving in time-intensive, leadership callings in the Church to say “Oh, I am sacrificing for the Lord’s kingdom – He will take care of my family” and proceed to virtually ignore his/her familial duties because they are so busy with their job and with their Church calling.

One important thing we discussed is that our children have agency, and even two of Lehi’s sons rebelled and chose to leave the Church – and their father was a prophet.

I commented to my husband about how President Monson was called to the apostleship at age 32, and his oldest child was nine, I believe. To the best of my knowledge (correct me if I’m wrong) all of his children are still active in the Church. I imagine that this has less to do with the Lord “taking care of it” and more to do with the fact that I am sure President Monson did his best to lead his family, even as he helped lead the Church. I am sure the Lord blessed his efforts – but that’s just it, I’m sure he made an effort to still be there for his young family.

It just something to think about, especially if you have young children and you are in leadership callings – as you sacrifice for the kingdom of God in leadership callings, don’t leave your family to chance. The Lord will bless your efforts, but you have to make an effort.
 

Ha, I guess the last one was a little more than a ‘fragment’ – I’ll make up for it here. After talking about making sure you are taking care of your family duties, I’ll tell you my husband spends a lot of time away from home (between military assignments and Church assignments, there were a few weeks this summer when we maybe saw him for a few days every few weeks). He’ll be gone this weekend, too. Anyone up for a girl’s night out tonight?
 

My Dad is Canadian, and although the use of poppies for Veteran’s Day (or Remembrance Day in Canada) is seen in the United States as well, I don’t think it is nearly as prolific here as in other countries. Sometimes I think that is because in the United States we don’t know exactly how to honor veterans. I have associated the red poppy with Veteran’s day my entire life.

May we remember those who have given everything for freedom.

Yesterday, the US Army’s Facebook Page wrote,

A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, National Guard or Reserve - is someone who, at one point in his or her life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to, and including my life."

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
      Between the crosses, row on row,
   That mark our place; and in the sky
   The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
   Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
         In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
   The torch; be yours to hold it high.
   If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
         In Flanders fields.

All Hallows

Note: Although this post doesn’t have much to do with the scriptures, it does sort of talk about the Church Handbook of Instruction, so that’s how I am justifying posting it on this blog. And I think you’ll get a kick out of my kids, and maybe you want to hear all about Halloween 2011.

Our ward does a Trunk or Treat every year on Halloween.

This year posed a problem.
Halloween was on Monday night.

Why is that such a problem? you ask.

Here’s why:

Monday nights are reserved for family home evening throughout the Church. No Church activities, meetings, baptismal services, games, or practices should be held after 6:00 p.m. on Mondays. Other interruptions to family home evening should be avoided. An exception may be made when New Year’s Eve is on a Monday.

That’s straight from the Church Handbook of Instructions. No ward activities on Monday nights.

However, somehow our ward got special permission (from the Stake Pres? From President Monson?) to do the Halloween chili cook-off and Trunk or Treat on a Monday night! I think it helped that the entire partay is in the parking lot. And the fact that it’s probably one of the biggest non-member/less actives drawing event. Everyone in the neighborhood comes (and brings chili) – even people who never come to Church on Sundays (or any other day of the week). I also think that a lot of neighborhood kids who are in other wards come and start their trick or treating out in our church parking lot. It’s safe, fun, and you get a warm bowl of chili! Plus, we usually start at 6pm and it’s not quite dark yet.

Keeping with tradition, we were about 30 minutes late (last minute costuming, last minute chili preparations… you know, the usual).

Last year we made the mistake of taking the kids on our street after the Trunk or Treat. Duh – all the people at the houses were the same folks at the Trunk or Treat. So this year we got smart and went to the neighborhood on the other side of the main road. The kids made it up one side and down half of the other side of one street (probably about 1/8 of a mile – which is pretty good for little ones!)

Toward the end, J’s bucket got so heavy she couldn’t carry it anymore! And by the last few houses, Papai was carrying her. But she really enjoyed everyone doting on her and gushing over her costume. J the paper doll. A costume that cost under $1. Score.

We also had one of those scary car-almost-running-over-small-trick-or-treater experiences with V. They had just scored some candy at a house with a very big, but gentle, Mast-weiler (Mastiff/Rottweiler mix – one of the most beautiful dogs I have seen!) and we were headed back down his walkway to cross his driveway to the sidewalk when a chick comes ripping into the driveway. V was already making his way to the sidewalk. I don’t think she saw him, but we yelled at him, and he took off toward their garage, away from the car. We were all freaking out, but there were no injuries, and after some great big hugs, we were all fine.

When we got home and started getting ready for bed, I was asking J if she had fun trick or treating. Of course she had fun. Here is the rest of our conversation:

  Me: What did you say when you went to the houses?
J: Trick or treat!
Me: And what did you get?
J: Candy!
Me: And then what did you say? (expecting her to say “Thank you” – my favorite part about trick or treating is getting to practice manners!)
J: Strawberries!

Me: …

Okay. Well, we’ll work on that.

The Divine Gift of Gratitude

(find the talk here)

When I was a child, I was somewhat afraid of President Thomas S. Monson. He was a counselor in the First Presidency for as long as I can remember, but something about his face always made me think of a villain from a children’s story. Before you think I am being blasphemous, you should see a picture of him:

This is what I’m talking about! I’m not saying he looks evil – but he has that prominent nose and forehead that you usually see in villain characters.

Thankfully, the Spirit is a good testifier of truth, and when he was called as the prophet I was able to receive a testimony of his calling as prophet and President of the Church. It might also have something to do with his softened appearance as he has aged:

Doesn’t he look a lot more friendly now? I love this man. Even though I have never met him in person, I love him, and I know that he is a prophet of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he speaks the things that Heavenly Father would have us do, and I know that if we follow his teachings, we will be led closer to our Savior and to our Father in Heaven.

President Monson’s talk about gratitude was another of those that I really needed to read before I could understand what was in it for me.

Cleansing the Inner Vessel

(find the talk here)

Well.

I don’t want to say much about President Boyd K. Packer’s talk, because a lot of what I would say, I said back in October.

Sometimes, I am worried about the world and how wicked things seem to be getting. But then I see good people, repentant people, righteous people, and I remember that in the last days, the wicked will become wicked, and the righteous will become more righteous. I can definitely see that happening. And I hope that I am becoming more righteous.

Recently, I have been hearing this quote from President Packer’s talk constantly in my mind:

“And the Gods said: We will bless them. And … we will cause them to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.”

This commandment has never been rescinded.

We are still commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth. I thought this was interesting, especially in today’s world of having 2.5 children.

Even more interesting was when I found this policy from the Church’s Handbook 2: Administering the Church:

21.4.15 Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy)

The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.

Definitely if the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth still stands, then surgical sterilization would be strongly discouraged. Of course, as President Packer points out in his talk, “Lehi taught that men are free and must be ‘free … to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day.’ … our agency is more powerful than the adversary’s will. Agency is precious. We can foolishly, blindly give it away, but it cannot be forcible taken from us.” So, of course, it is given us to choose what we will do. But it behooves us to choose the path that follows the Lord’s will for us. “There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.” My mind always goes back to the example of a kite being held by a kite string. When the kite is being held taught by the string, it can soar. If the string were to be cut, the kite would fall to the ground.

What can obedience do for us? It can help us break the chains of addiction and bad habits. “If one is obedient, the priesthood can show how to break a habit and even erase an addiction.” I have bad habits in my life – maybe not particularly heinous sins, but there are parts of my parenting, and parts of my actions towards others in general that have become habits, and I would like to change them. President Packer’s message is one of hope:

Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate. The key is labeled “repentance.” If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you. … If you are bound by a habit or an addiction that is unworthy, you must stop conduct that is harmful. Angels will coach you, and priesthood leaders will guide you through those difficult times.

I am so grateful for the power of the atonement, and the power of the priesthood to heal my life, and the lives of those around me. As a mother, I worry that some of my bad parenting will have a lasting a permanent effect on my children. But just when I feel that way, President Packer offers even more encouragement. “The priesthood has the power to unlock the influence of our habits …  however tight the grip. It can heal over the scars of past mistakes.” If I can change how I parent – if I can become more patience, more humble, and more charitable toward my children – then my past mistakes of impatience, scolding, and punishment will be healed by the Savior, and I will still be able to raise healthy, well-adjusted, righteous children.

What scars would you have Christ heal? Are you willing to be obedient to the laws of God? Are you willing to submit to our Father and be obedient so that He might heal you and your family?

Trust in God, Then Go and Do

(find the talk here)

President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from the Sunday morning session of General Conference was timely for several reasons. The first reason I can think of is because President Boyd K. Packer spoke just after President Eyring’s talk, and President Packer’s talk garnered a lot of criticism among the world, and, ironically, among members of the Church. When a prophet of God speaks, we should trust that he is speaking for the Lord. We have even  been instructed to pray and learn for ourselves that what the prophets say is true. I’ll say more about President Packer’s talk when I read that talk again for this blog (probably tomorrow).

It’s interesting how I end up re-reading the conference talks at exactly the right time for me to hear some counsel that I am particularly needing at that moment. Maybe I didn’t need to hear President Eyring’s counsel to “Trust in God, Then Go and Do” back in October last year, but I surely need it now.

My husband and I are in the process of making a few very significant, very important decisions for our family. About both of which we have recently received individual promptings from the Spirit. However, we, in our “perceived” infinite wisdom (“I know my circumstances, so I know how to proceed in my situation.”) have attempted to postpone, put off, or other wise ignore the promptings we have received. On Sunday afternoon, the Lord sent one of his messengers to help us understand His will for us. President Eyring says that he “trust[s] His apostles and prophets today and those they call to serve God.” (emphasis added) The Lord has called righteous bishops to preside over our wards, and the bishop from our neighborhood ward visited us on Sunday and confirmed our feelings from the past few months. Now the job is ours to decide if we will “go and do.”

The other decision is much more personal and I will not share the details here, but I will mention that both my husband and I feel completely inadequate to go forth with the Lord’s plan in this regard. We both feel that we do not have what it takes, that following what we have felt prompted to do would make our lives more crazy and stressful than we are right now, and that we lack the strength necessary to do the Lord’s will. But President Eyring reminds us of Nephi’s proclamation of trust and obedience:

Nephi … said these words of trust that we can and must feel steadily in our hearts: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

I want to have the kind of faith where I will obey the Lord’s will for me even when I think that I know that there is a better way.  President Eyring says that kind of trust “comes from knowing God.” In my talk yesterday I spoke about President Uchtdorf’s talk Of Things that Matter Most and one of the relationships he mentioned was our relationship with Heavenly Father. President Uchtdorf even taught us how to improve our relationship with our Father. He said:

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him,by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by[Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

I can learn to trust God by improving my relationship with him and coming to really know God. Studying the scriptures to learn about Him, looking in the world around me to learn about Him, looking into my heart and listening to the Spirit to learn about Him. As I stay close to God, I know that He will make known to me the things he would have me do.

I must trust in the Lord, and then go and do.

I can learn to trust more in the Lord, and I do have a desire to do His will. And as I learn to trust in the Lord, I know that He will be able to trust me, and that He will reveal more and more of His plan for me, as I show Him that I am willing to do His will, trusting that He will prepare a way for it.

President Eyring closed with this remark, and I think it is appropriate for my post as well:

You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks. If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song, and prayer in this conference, you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed with gratitude to find that He has come to trust you.

May we learn to have trust in the Lord – and then be willing to go and do what He would have us do. I know that our power to trust Him will grow as we demonstrate that trust to Him.

Have you struggled to trust in the Lord? How do you feel when  you work to find out His will for you, and then go and do the things He has asked for you to do? Do you feel like He prepares a way for you to do all the things He asks you to do?

Three Rs of Choice

(find the talk here)

This is the last of the talks from the Priesthood session, and then I have 18 more talks to study before the next General Conference, which convenes in 23 days. I am going to try to study them all before General Conference comes around again so that I can focus on the new talks after that.

I think that this talk stuck out to me first because of the title and the fact that this week we have been learning about the letter “R” in our casual at-home preschool.

And then I read the talk and I loved it. I didn’t remember listening to this talk until I got to a story President Thomas S. Monson tells at the very end of this talk. I’ll share pieces of it later.

President Monson laid out the doctrine of choice clearly in this talk. I liked his “Three Rs” of choice. They are:

1. The right of choice.
2. The responsibility of choice.
3. The results of choice.

Right

Here, President Monson mostly speaks about the gift of agency. He quotes President David O. McKay who said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.” And a gift I find myself more and more grateful every day. We have the right to do with our life what we will. God did not write out every detail of our life before we were born. He did not force us to become who we are, and He does not force us to make decisions. He may plead, cajole, and send the strongest promptings of the Spirit, but in the end, it is up to us to make the decision.

We are in the process of becoming licensed to be foster parents, and we have taken a lot of parenting courses in this process. One of the things that always comes up in parenting and child development is teaching children how to make choices. It is so important that we teach them how to make decisions (preferably correct decisions – but as the Prophet Joseph Smith said, We teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves). This is what God wants – He wants to teach us correct principles and then have us govern ourselves. It is given to us to do so. God cannot force us to make correct choices. Which puts the pressure on us to teach our children (and each other) how to make correct choices.

President Monson speaks of Lucifer and his plan for us. “He insisted that with his plan none would be lost, but he seemed not to recognize – or perhaps not to care – that in addition, none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed.”

Making choices does make us wiser. When we make incorrect choices, we (hopefully) learn from our mistakes, and when we make correct choices, we are blessed with more light and truth from Heavenly Father. Making choices makes us stronger. As we make correct choices, we receive even more strength to make future correct choices – which may be even more difficult to make. We are more compassionate, because we understand that others have to make choices as well – and because we  are making choices, we respect the seriousness of that challenge. Being able to make choices certainly makes me grateful. I think about living in this great land of America, instead of in a land in the Middle East, or in Asia, in which people are not free to choose their own life. This land is truly a promised land. But that’s a topic for another day.

The only “down” side to choice is that men are “free to choose liberty and eternal life … or to choose captivity and death.” Which means that we can choose incorrectly and damage our eternal souls. President Monson reminds us that “within the confines of whatever circumstances we find ourselves, we will always have the right to choose.”

Responsibility

Because we have been given the gift of agency, we must choose. We have a divine responsibility to act and not be acted upon. President Monson says, “We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground. The Lord knows this; Lucifer knows this. As long as we live upon this earth, Lucifer and his hosts will never abandon the hope of claiming our souls.” This reminds me of the saying “You’re either with me or against me.” Which is a very true statement when it comes to the Lord.

We can choose not to choose – because that right is given to us. However, if we choose not to choose, then we are choosing Satan, who will lead our souls miserably down to @#!*% .

President Monson reminds us that Heavenly Father didn’t send us to Earth with the power to choose and no help to make correct choices. We know that “The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, tha the may know good from evil.” More specifically, we have prayer, the gift of the Holy Ghost, the scriptures, and latter-day Prophets (like President Monson).

Satan is not content to have only the “so-called refuse of humanity” but “seeks all of us, including the very elect of God. … whether we are 12-year-old deacons or mature high priests, we are susceptible.”

We need courage to make decision correctly.

Results

“All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it.”

President  Monson talks about the difference between whether to wear a green or blue shirt one day, and whether or not to view pornography. What color shirt to wear doesn’t make a difference, but the choice about viewing pornography “can make all the difference in your life. … you are taking a detour from which you may not return.”

We are the person accountable for our choices. Brigham Young said, “Salvation is an individual operation.”

Paul stated, “but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

President Monson closes with a story of a basketball player who was the first string center on his team, and chose not to play in the championship game because it was to be played on Sunday.

That fateful, difficult decision was made more than 30 years ago. Brother Christensen has said that as time has passed, he considers it one of the most important decisions he ever made. It would have been very easy to have said, “You know, in general, keeping the Sabbath day holy is the right commandment, but in my particular extenuating circumstance, it’s okay,just this once, if I don’t do it.” However, he says his entire life has turned out to be an unending stream of extenuating circumstances, and had he crossed the line just that once, then the next time something came up that was so demanding and critical, it would have been so much easier to cross the line again. The lesson he learned is that it is easier to keep the commandments 100 percent of the time than it is 98 percent of the time.

How do you feel about being given the right to choose? Do you take the responsibility to choose seriously? How do you deal with the results of your choices? Does knowing that there will be consequences help you to choose wisely? How does the atonement help you to correct your wrong decisions?

Because of Your Faith

(Find the talk here)

Elder Jeffery R. Holland’s talk in the Saturday morning session of General Conference was quite different than most talks I have heard him give. Usually Elder Holland talks about spiritual purity, or about the Priesthood. He always speaks with boldness and clarity – and that was no different his October. But instead of giving his usual admonitions and direction, instead his talk was one of gratitude to those who do good things.

My thanks to all you wonderful members of the Church – and legions of good people not of our faith – for proving every day of your life that the pure love of Christ “never faileth.”

And then he closed his talk with a statement I don’t think I have ever heard from the pulpit at General Conference:

Brothers and sisters, seeing your example, I pledge anew my determination to be better, to be more faithful – more kind and devoted, more charitable and true as our Father in Heaven is and as so many of you already are.

It was fascinating to see an apostle of God get up and say that he was impressed by our example as doers of good. That shows humility and meekness, in my opinion. Elder Holland is a great man – I feel he is very much a doer of good, and I’m sure that he demonstrates charity daily. But he took his opportunity to speak in Conference to tell us that we are doing a great job and that he admires us for our sacrifice and hard work.

One of his statements that really hooked me was that “the personal value, the sacred splendor of every one of you, is the very reason there is a plan of salvation and exaltation.” He made me feel like he was talking about all the good things I do, even though I definitely don’t do that many good things. And to be reminded about the personal nature of the atonement of our Savior and the plan of salvation is something I can always hear again and again.

Elder Holland spoke a lot about all the various things members of the Church do to serve, and then he said

Smile, if you will, about our traditions, but somehow the too-often unheralded women in this church are always there when hands hand down and knees are feeble. They seem to grasp instinctively the divinity in Christ’s declaration: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the lease of these ..., ye have done it unto me.”

I want to be more like Elder Holland seems to think I am – charitable and sacrificing. And I especially want to be more grateful for the unselfish, sacrificing, charitable people in my own life. So many people have done so much for me, without expecting anything in return – simply because they live by the pure love of Christ.

More thank you cards need to be sent, more prayers of gratitude, and more “paying it forward.”

How does it make you feel to be publicly, individually appreciated on the pulpit by a prophet of God? How have you been blessed by the charity of others? How have you shown your appreciate for the charity others have shown you? Do you understand the personal significance of the plan of salvation?