Welcome to GCBC Week 4! I have an apology to make – last week I was going to pair Sis. Esplin’s talk with Elder Baxter’s talk (this week’s talk – the message to single parents). For some reason (probably because I was thinking only about going chronologically) I paired her talk with Elder Hallstrom’s instead. That’s why the pairing seemed to be kind of random…
I’ll be getting my reading glasses this week so hopefully that will prevent me from being completely clueless in the future… improving your eyesight improves your brain function, too, right?
“How can we help each individual develop a desire to know more about Heavenly Father? How do we help them feel His Spirit? How can we help them know that we love them?”Closely tied to helping others remember is the way we personally live the gospel and apply it in our lives. When we actually live the gospel in the pattern taught by the Lord Jesus Christ, our ability to help others increases.
I really appreciated Elder Koelliker’s talk for this point that he made about helping others develop a desire to know more about Heavenly Father. As a parent, my greatest desire is to help my children desire to know Heavenly Father. I felt like Elder Koelliker’s talk gave some great instruction on how to do that.
Please never feel that you are in some kind of second-tier subcategory of Church membership, somehow less entitled to the Lord’s blessings than others. In the kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens.Members and leaders, is there more that you could do to support single-parent families without passing judgment or casting aspersions? Might you mentor young people in these families, especially providing for young men examples of what good men do and how good men live? In the absence of fathers, are you providing role models worthy of emulation?
We have a good friend who is divorced. She has two boys, and her ex-husband is not a very good example to his children of Priesthood leadership. I admire my husband a lot as he has developed a relationship with these boys when we have the opportunity to spend time with them. I am grateful that my husband is willing to be an example to any boy who needs one to follow.
What are your thoughts after studying these talks? Please share in the comments, and come back throughout the week to engage in the conversation!
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To anyone who is checking out GCBC for the first time, the goal is to read one General Conference talk a week and discuss it together as an on-line “book club.” If you want more information about how it works, go here. And then join us.
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Also, I have teamed up with Dave from Downright Dave to coordinate our GCBC schedule with his Weekly #ldsconf Chat. It happens on Twitter on Wednesdays from 8-9pm MST. So if you are itching for some more “real time” discussion format, I encourage you to head over to Twitter. Not sure how to participate in a “chat” on Twitter? Head over to this post from Dave’s website for more information. He gives some pretty good instructions after the schedule.
Elder Koelliker's talk is very powerful to me. I love God's patterns. I teach 6 year olds in primary and I am always teaching them to look for patterns in the scriptures, in the things that they learn, so they will have the tools to go Home. As I remind them, I'm reminding myself that it's all about going Home. For me, the patterns found in the scriptures are like those formulas in geometry I learned in school, only infinitely more important than the area of a circle.
ReplyDeleteI loved Elder Koelliker's sentence: "Because of the heaven-designed pattern of the family, we more fully understand how our Heavenly Father truly loves each of us equally and fully." I have felt this eternal principle work in my own life--as I parent with the desire to follow my Heavenly Father, I feel His love tangibly in my own heart. As I study how He parents His children, I learn better how to care for and teach my own children.
Years ago, my mission president taught that when we are seeking a blessing, we should search the scriptures to find the requirements for that blessing, because every blessing is predicated upon obedience to God's laws (D&C 130:20-21). God wants us to understand His patterns. He wants to bless us. I am so grateful they are laid out so clearly, so frequently for me to follow, to teach.
I absolutely love your comments! Thank you for sharing them!
DeleteHow amazing that your class of 6-year-olds is learning to look for God's patterns! What a wonderful thing you are teaching them!!
DeleteI feel like there is a lot of learning I could get from Elder Koelliker's talk if I take the time to really study it. I wrote some notes and thoughts as we re-watched it last night, but I felt like it was powerful and could really teach me. I want to study it some more.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely. Thankfully my Ensign came so I can mark it up.
DeleteI really enjoyed elder koellikers talk. A part that really stuck Out to me was the scripture about nephi & how he had the desire to know of the truths his father taught. My biggest fear (like many) is that one of my children will choose a different path. Many times I remember on my mission wondering "what makes one have a believing heart over another? Now as a parent I wonder the same thing! Granted my children are still very young (2 & 4 mo), I still think about that often. Im a convert to the church and know very well what life outside the church can bring; nothing but mediocre happiness. Compared to pure joy.
ReplyDeleteAnyway sry for the ramble, any thoughts pls share!
I really enjoyed elder koellikers talk. A part that really stuck Out to me was the scripture about nephi & how he had the desire to know of the truths his father taught. My biggest fear (like many) is that one of my children will choose a different path. Many times I remember on my mission wondering "what makes one have a believing heart over another? Now as a parent I wonder the same thing! Granted my children are still very young (2 & 4 mo), I still think about that often. Im a convert to the church and know very well what life outside the church can bring; nothing but mediocre happiness. Compared to pure joy.
ReplyDeleteAnyway sry for the ramble, any thoughts pls share!
Our two college-age sons returned home for the summer yesterday; the phrase "youthful energy" from Elder Koelliker's talk really resonates with me! We're at the point, gratefully, where we can see the fruits of our labors when they were little, trying to help them feel the Spirit so they could have a strong foundation. The power of teaching by example is incredible. For the most part our children do what we do, not what we say. That continues to be an incentive to me to be modeling righteous behavior. I also thought it was interesting that he explained patterns and the gospel before bringing up the example of the family.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciated Elder Baxter's talk. It was nice to have something geared specifically to single parents. I have a lot of friends in that position, and I am totally amazed at all they do. I hope I can do my part to help them feel that, and that God loves them. It's nice to know that even if things aren't perfect or ideal in this life, everything will be set right in the next. Another great motivation to keep choosing the right!
Here to talk about Elder Baxter's talk... I'll be back another day for Elder Koelliker's talk.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite quote: "In the kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens." I would like to print this on a banner and hang it outside of our Relief Society room. I am serving in the Relief Society presidency in my ward right now and my heart aches for all the women that feel like they are somehow second-class citizens. I don't feel that way about them, I know God doesn't feel that way about them and I don't think other members of the ward feel that way about them, but somehow, because they aren't married or their marriage didn't work out or they haven't been able to have kids, they feel that way. As someone who has been in every one of those categories in my life, I do know it is hard. But I think it is so important for all of us to remember that God loves each one of us, God has promised every one of us ALL that he has, ALL blessings if we remain faithful. I also love how he points out that even when we aren’t in the ideal family situation, we can still be grateful for a church that teaches about families: “We hope that when you attend meetings and see seemingly complete and happy families or hear someone speak of family ideals, you will feel glad to be part of a church that does focus on families and teaches of their central role in Heavenly Father’s plan for the happiness of His children; that in the midst of world calamity and moral decay, we have the doctrine, authority, ordinances, and covenants that do hold out the best hope for the world, including for the future happiness of your children and the families they will create.”
"Along the way you will obtain compensatory blessings, even if they are not immediately apparent." This is something I've been pondering lately - sometimes I look at situations around me and just ache for the trials that people go through. Yet, I think one of the great joys of the gospel, is knowing that when we and others are in the midst of trials, there is also unseen help. I love the story of Elisha’s servant who finds they are surrounded by the Syrian army and when he tells Elisha, Elisha tells him that “they that be with us are more than they that be with them.” (2 Kings 6:16). And the servant saw hosts of angels protecting them. I know that there are angels that help and minister to us in this life and I believe that someday we will look back on times when we felt that everything was against us and see that we were also surrounded by angels.
And, of course, I can’t talk about blessings from heaven and unseen angels, without also committing myself to help where I can. I loved his call to action: “Members and leaders, is there more that you could do to support single-parent families without passing judgment or casting aspersions? Might you mentor young people in these families?” There was one family in particular that came to my mind during this talk and I have been looking for opportunities to reach out.
One last thought: "Whilst reluctant to be overly personal, I am the product of such a home."
We heard Elder Baxter speak the day before this talk and he talked more about his home and family. I was very touched by his personal experiences. He talked about the missionaries finding his family when he was about 12 years old and how they brought love, peace, and goodness into his home and his life that hadn't seen much of those things to that point. (We heard him speak at the Scottish Missionary Reunion, my husband served a mission in Scotland, and every April they have a reunion for everyone that ever served in Scotland, they meet together and then separate into rooms by Mission President.)
Megan--I really loved your insights and thoughts about Elder Baxter's talk. I really love the phrase "compensatory blessings"--something I was promised in my mission setting apart that I gained a strong testimony of. I loved his application of a principle that I've really seen in my life. I, like you, wish there could be a sign for every Relief Society room. Really.
DeleteI have studied and studied Elder Koelliker's talk and have yet to really feel like I'm internalizing it. Don't you hate it when that happens???? The one thing that really rang true for me was the line that we can be active in the church and inactive in the gospel. When I heard that, my initial thought, honestly, was "That's me!" At this point in my life with 3 young kids, 1 on the way, and a husband with a demanding calling, many of those "active in the gospel" activities have fallen to the side. I read scriptures every day with my kids, pray with my kids, pray with my spouse, check in on visiting teachees, prepare my primary lesson... but I can't remember the last time I really read scriptures alone and just for me. Or when prayer felt powerful. So I know that I need to spend some time reworking. I guess that's not a bad take away. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for Elder Baxter's talk--loved it. Love, love, loved it. Because I felt like it applied so beautifully to ALL members of the church, but also because it addressed some of those sad hurts that members of the church tend to hide so carefully and carry around so bravely every Sunday. I felt like it was a really heartfelt message... I don't know. It just really touched me.
I loved Elder Baxter's counsel, that I believe applies to one and all who feel alone:
ReplyDelete"Although you often feel alone, in truth you are never totally on your own. As you move forward in patience and in faith, Providence will move with you; heaven will bestow its needful blessings. Your perspective and view of life will change when, rather than being cast down, you look up.
Many of you have already discovered the great, transforming truth that when you live to lift the burdens of others, your own burdens become lighter. Although circumstances may not have changed, your attitude has. You are able to face your own trials with greater acceptance, a more understanding heart, and deeper gratitude for what you have, rather than pining for what you yet lack.
You have discovered that when we extend lines of hopeful credit to those whose life accounts seem empty, our own coffers of consolation are enriched and made full; our cup truly “runneth over” (Psalm 23:5)."
Somehow I missed Elder Koelliker's talk during conference. When I looked back through my notes it was blank beside his name. Probably had a fussy baby needing me! So as I read it I realized it was a very powerful talk and that I need to spend more time on it. I think this might be the talk that my DH and I looked at each other and said, "Wow, that is amazing parenting guidance."
ReplyDeleteI do remember Elder Baxter's talk bacause I was caught up in his Scottish accent! It was a very loving message to a group of people who probably often feel at odds in a church so centered on traditional family ideals. It is so important to help all God's children understand that it's ok to talk about the ideal without feeling discouraged or diminished. It should inspire us. My DH and I have never understood why some women so vehemently dislike church on Mother's Day, saying that it makes them feel like they can never measure up to that ideal mother. Should we stop talking of Christ? He is the ideal. We all fall short of that ideal but we need to learn of him and how to emulate him.
I know in my Beehive class we have a couple of girls from broken marriages and we have to be sure to stress that although their family might not be the "ideal" now, it's ok and to look to the future to the family they will help create some day. The main thing I try to get through to them each week is how much He loves them.