GCBC Week 8: “Coming to Ourselves”

This was one of those talks for me where the principles are ones I don’t struggle with. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t an important talk – after all, President Holland reminded last year that at General Conference,

“we understand not everyone is viewing pornography or shirking marriage or having illicit sexual relationships. We know not everyone is violating the Sabbath or bearing false witness or abusing a spouse. We know that most in our audience are not guilty of such things, but we are under a solemn charge to issue warning calls to those who are—wherever they may be in the world. So if you are trying to do the best you can—if, for example, you keep trying to hold family home evening in spite of the bedlam that sometimes reigns in a houseful of little bedlamites—then give yourself high marks and, when we come to that subject, listen for another which addresses a topic where you may be lacking. If we teach by the Spirit and you listen by the Spirit, some one of us will touch on your circumstance, sending a personal prophetic epistle just to you.”

So this talk hasn’t had a big impact on me, but I am anxious to hear what impact is has had on your life and your spirituality.

“Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service”
by Elder Rober D. Hales

Throughout our lives, whether in times of darkness, challenge, sorrow, or sin, we may feel the Holy Ghost reminding us that we are truly sons and daughters of a caring Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we may hunger for the sacred blessings that only He can provide.

…

We become converted and spiritually self-reliant as we prayerfully live our covenants—through worthily partaking of the sacrament, being worthy of a temple recommend, and sacrificing to serve others.

How did this talk touch your life?

If you are new to General Conference Book Club, find out more here.

Pay it Forward

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart,
so let him give;
not grudgingly, or of necessity:
for God loveth a cheerful giver.

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you;
that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things,
may abound to every good work:

2 Corinthians 9:7-8

I’ve been thinking a lot about the seasons of womanhood and motherhood, and it got me thinking about a certain friend of mine who always seems to be helping me out, but who never seems to need my help.

I thought back to when my second child was born, and I was suddenly the mother of a barely 2-year-old and a brand new baby. I didn't do much of anything. I barely cleaned the house, and I mostly just sat around reading books, nursing, and sitting with my kids on the trampoline while V jumped around merrily, and J nursed merrily. There were a lot of days when my friend would have V over for a play date so I could stay home and rest with J (one particular time was when I had a nasty infection, and I just needed to sleep and nurse).

I remember thinking about how badly I wanted to repay my friend, but it never seemed like she needed anything from me (she still seems that way to me - we are still very good friends, and it always seems like she takes care of me more than I take care of her).

Image Credit: WPW

After several months of this friend helping me with absolutely no way to "pay her back" I realized that this life is not about "getting even" with people who help us. It's about using our resources to help those we can help, and accepting help from those with resources to help us. As the scripture I quoted above says, God will make “all grace abound toward” us (send us people to help us out) so that we will have sufficient for our needs, and we will be able to help others and do good things. He doesn’t say “that ye will be able to serve them that have served you in the same capacity in which they have served you.”

And so I decided that I was going to "pay it forward" and help anyone I had resources to help.

I have since had many experiences where a friend has said the same thing to me. "I feel like you help me so much, but I have nothing to give in return!" And I gently explain to them, "You don't need to feel like you need to repay me for the things I do to help you. Some day you will be in a position to help someone, so just help them.”

I am at a period in my life when I am able to help a lot of people while not needing much help myself. I am in a relatively emotionally stable state, my children are a little older, and my husband has a really good, stable job. I have lots that I can give, emotionally, spiritually, and temporally. But I know that my life won’t always be that way, and there will be times when I will have to accept help, emotionally, spiritually, and temporally.

Have you ever felt like you needed to “pay back” someone who had helped you, but realized that they didn’t have any needs you could fill? How do you “pay it forward” when you are shown grace and kindness by others?

The Opportunity and the Treasure

(find the talks here – Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church – and here – The Opportunity of a Lifetime)

Over at Diapers and Divinity, we’re winding down General Conference Book Club (GCBC) – finishing up the last few talks in time for April General Conference! Who’s excited?! I am so ready for General Conference again. I think I get this way just before General Conference. It’s kind of the same feeling I get a few weeks before my birthday or Christmas. That excitement in the pit of my stomach that fills me up and makes it hard to think about anything else.

Okay, I know – I’m a Conference nerd. I know it.

Well, one thing I kind of miss when I’m participating in Steph’s GCBC is studying the talks from the Priesthood session as well as from the Relief Society and Young Women General Sessions. So when I noticed the talk for this week was Missionaries are a Treasure of the Church it reminded me of a talk I have been listening to from the Priesthood session called The Opportunity of a Lifetime (which has been on my mind lately anyway). So I decided to study both for this week, and I am glad that I did.

Your Mission – the Best Two Years For Your Life

While I liked Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita’s talk, it wasn’t one of those “Wow, this is amazing!” talks for me. However, Elder W. Christopher Waddell’s? Like candy. Especially because around the time leading up to October General Conference I had kind of got on to my husband for saying things like “On my mission I studied the gospel all the time.” “On my mission I was such a good time manager.” etc etc. Finally I told him, “Well, you know, you were supposed to be learning those things on your mission so you could do them for the rest of your life. For instance… when you became a husband and father.”

Elder Waddell talked about how to apply your mission to the rest of your life. I loved how Elder Matthew Richardson said it was “the best two years for [his] life.” Elder Waddell echoed that sentiment in his talk. He likened missionary service to the sacrifice of the unspotted lamb of the Passover, but how simply sacrificing the animal wasn’t good enough – the blood had to be applied to the door posts. This is where my husband has been struggling to apply his mission to his life now. Elder Waddell said “the ongoing blessings associated with missionary service require application after the sacrifice.” One way he encouraged his missionaries to “apply” the sacrifice of their mission to their lives was to have them “take time to consider the lessons and gifts provided to them by a generous Father in Heaven. They were asked to prayerfully list and consider how to best apply those lessons in a post-mission life”. However, Elder Waddell went on to say that, “there is no returned missionary for whom it is too late to consider the lessons obtained through faithful service and to apply them more diligently.”

The Lord Knows Where He Wants You To Serve

In Elder Waddell’s talk he mentioned that “Prophets, seers, and revelators assign missionaries under the direction and influence of the Holy Ghost.” If you have ever wondered exactly how this happens, I encourage you to read a talk give in the Priesthood Session of April 2010 General Conference given by Elder Ronald A. Rasband called “The Divine Call of a Missionary” – you won’t be disappointed. It is a really touching talk, and if you received a mission call and didn’t think it was where you should go, his talk will definitely remedy that emotion!

If you ever served a mission in a “hard” area with not many baptisms, or felt like you didn’t make a difference in your mission, please read Elder Waddell’s talk. His story of Elder Misiego is poignant and powerful and it is definitely a testimony that “the Lord knows where He wants each missionary to serve.”

I wrote a bunch more about these talks and how they applied to motherhood, but then the post started getting too long, and I am trying not to have overwhelmingly long posts, so I decided to post them separately, and I will probably post the motherhood one later this week.

Did you serve a mission? Did you feel like it was the best two years for your life? Did you feel like the Lord had called you to your specific mission purposefully? How did you prepare for your mission?

Perfect Love Casteth Out All Fear

(find the talk here)

I love to share the gospel. I enjoy posting links to Mormon Messages and “I’m a Mormon” ads on my personal Facebook page. I love to talk to people about Christ, and the scriptures.

Maybe it’s because I was raised in the Evangelical south, maybe it’s because my father is a convert, maybe it’s because I am not a very private person and I really like to talk. Whatever the reason, I have rarely experienced fear in talking about the gospel.

I was really grateful for Elder L. Tom Perry’s talk at General Conference. He seemed to lay out – in no uncertain terms – how we should be sharing the gospel.

“First, we must be bold in our declaration of Jesus Christ.”

Growing up I had a lot of really close friends who were very religious Christians, and I think that it was their example of testifying of Christ that I follow in being “bold” in my declaration of Jesus Christ. My Evangelical Christian friends were always proclaiming Christ (both with their actions and with their words). I specifically remember in high school participating in “See You at the Pole” where a group of students came early to school and joined hands around the flagpole in front of our public school and took turns praying, whether in our hearts or out loud. It was a really interesting experience for me, since I was one of only six LDS students at my school (my younger sister being another of the six). I was so impressed that so many students were unashamed to be there, praying in front of the school. Certainly I am sure there were students there who were maybe there to “be seen” – but I knew several of the students there personally, and I knew that they had great faith in Christ, and believed in God.

“We declare our belief in Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Savior. He willbless us and guide us in all of our efforts. As we labor here in mortality,He will strengthen us and bring us peace in time of trials. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints walk by faith in Him whose Church it is.”

“Second, be righteous examples to others.”

Again, growing up, I was able to join with the righteous example of my fellow Christians, even though they were of other faiths. My friends used clean language, they kept themselves morally pure, they were quick to help and serve, they were honest, trustworthy, responsible teenagers. They lived the gospel of Jesus Christ. They truly acted as Jesus would have them act.

I have noticed the scripture from 1 Timothy 4:12 has been quoted several times in the last two or three conferences. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we need to let our lives be proof of our faith in Jesus Christ.

My sister and I babysat a lot when we were younger. Usually we would tend for the same families – whoever was available would take the job. We mostly worked for families in the ward. One summer, however, I had a daily job tending for one of my dad’s coworkers, and my sister occasionally helped out. They also had a friend who we would occasionally sit for. This friend emailed my dad one day and said, “Those girls are so happy and cheerful, and so responsible! What’s their secret?” or something (I’m paraphrasing). We were able to share with that family that we are so happy because of our knowledge of the gospel. We were also able to share with them the doctrine of eternal families. They had an older daughter who had passed away several years before we met them, and we gave them pamphlets and the video “The Road Home.”

Jocelyn blogged about this exact thing the other day - "Why Mormons Smile So Much”. If we have a testimony of Christ and have really received the Spirit, we can’t help but smile! The gospel is a “plan of happiness” – hence the smiling.

“Next, speak up about the Church.”

I was blessed to be able to speak freely about religion with my friends. They didn’t fully understand the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, and I was probably not very good at explaining things for them. However, our conversations were usually “two way” – as Elder Perry has suggested they be, “When our professional and personal associates inquire about our religious beliefs, they are inviting us to share who we are and what we believe…Your associates are not inviting you to teach, preach, expound, or exhort. Engage them in a two-way conversation—share something about your religious beliefs but also ask them about their beliefs. Gauge the level of interest by the questions they ask. If they are asking a lot of questions, focus the conversation on answering those questions. Always remember that it is better for them to ask than for you to tell.”

I think that many people are uncomfortable talking to Mormons about their religion because they are worried that we’re going to go all “missionary” on them. If we would simply answer their questions and even ask questions about their faith, we would be able to be much more effective in sharing the gospel. I had a recent experience where I was able to ask question about Job’s Daughters, a program sponsored by the Free Masons that is similar to Boy Scouts. It was a really great opportunity to get to know more about what my friend was involved in, spiritually. We never talked much about the Church, since I was the one asking questions about a program she participated in, but showing interest in the beliefs of another person can build bridges that they may feel comfortable crossing in the future. This friend happens to know more about the Church than your average person, but perhaps now she will come to me when she has questions about the Church, and I can answer them for her.

If you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and you haven’t already, I encourage you to go to Mormon.org and create your profile (you will need your membership number which is on your temple recommend, or you can get it from your ward membership clerk). If you aren’t a member, I encourage you to go to Mormon.org and browse through the profiles of other members there, and the answers to FAQs posted on the site by members of the Church.

I recommend Elder Perry’s talk as required reading material for every member of the Church – especially those who are either afraid to share the gospel, or those who scare people off when they are trying to share the gospel.

How do you share the gospel with your friends? Do you have a two-way conversation about faith and religion? Do you ask your friends questions about their faith? Are you an “example of the believers”? How do you declare Jesus Christ?

Find more insight on this talk (and others) over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

Counsel to Youth

(find the talk here)

Last night my husband and I watched the CES Devotional that President Boyd K. Packer gave. At the beginning of his talk, almost as an aside, President Packer mentioned how when he was first called as an apostle, when they would walk back to the Church office building from their weekly temple meeting, President Packer would hang back and walk with Elder LeGrand Richards. The other members of the Twelve would say to President Packer, “It’s so nice of you to stay back and help Brother Richards.” President Packer said they didn’t know why he did it. He then talked about how Elder Richards could still remember President Wilford Woodruff (the fourth president of the Church) – he had last heard President Woodruff speak when he was twelve years old. President Packer walked with Elder Richards so that he could learn from him. When my husband and I were looking for houses, I told him that I would rather live in an older neighborhood with established families, rather than the young military community near us. I told him the reason was that I would rather live around families who had already successfully raised children (and grandchildren in some cases) rather than families in the same situation as us – young, freshly married, small children – because I didn’t want to be around people making the same parenting mistakes I was going to be making. I wanted to be around people who could show me how to be a better parent.

I think in general as a society we don’t value the wisdom and experience of those who are older than us. We think that we can just learn it all, from books, TV, the internet, college. Last night my husband and I were talking about how it must have been when we were in Heaven talking with Heavenly Father about how this life was going to be. I’m sure He showed us what was going to happen, and we saw spirits with bodies and thought, “That is awesome! I want to do that!” but of course, we had never actually done that, so we didn’t know exactly what it was going to be like (which is part of why we are here). We can’t fully understand something we have never experienced. You can’t really know what it is like to loose a child unless you have lost one. You can’t really know what it is like to commune with God unless you have communed with Him. You can’t really know how to raise children until you have actually raised children.

President Packer read this poem as part of his talk at General Conference:

The old crow is getting slow.
The young crow is not.
Of what the young crow does not know
The old crow knows a lot.

At knowing things the old crow
Is still the young crow’s master.
What does the slow old crow not know?
—How to go faster.

The young crow flies above, below,
And rings around the slow old crow.
What does the fast young crow not know?
—Where to go.

That’s why it is so important to surround yourself with people who have experienced more than you have. Because they can help you learn the way to fly – even though you may be able to fly faster than them, it doesn’t do you any good if you don’t know where to fly.

(Image credit: expertinfantry)

One thing that specifically stood out to me from President Packer’s talk was when he said, “you young people are being raised in enemy territory.” I heard this as, “You parents are raising your children in enemy territory.” That sounds pretty frightening, to say the least. But I know that if I listen to the prophets, and to Heavenly Father, I will be able to successfully raise my children in this world.

I really appreciated President Packer sharing with the youth (and all of us) how he gained his testimony, and how at first he relied on the testimony of his seminary teachers. I also thought it was interesting that President Packer had not received a Patriarchal Blessing before he had enlisted in the Air Force (he had to have been at least 18 years old at that point). That made me wonder a little what his upbringing was like – it was probably just normal like any other child, rather than particularly extraordinary. But thought correct use of his agency, look where he is now! Look at how valuable he has been to furthering God’s work. I am grateful that he was willing to share such personal tidbits about his youth with our youth. I will have to remember to share this talk with my children when they are a little older.

President Packer also talked a bit about agency and the importance of and proper use of our bodies. I have been studying Elder David A Bednar’s CES Devotional talk titled Things as they Really Are in which he talks about our bodies. It has really been an enlightening experience for me, and I feel like I am coming to understand the importance of our physical bodies a little better.

What stood out to you from President Packer’s talk? How do you learn from those who are older and more experienced than you? Do you look for opportunities to learn from them as President Packer did?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

My Yoke Is Easy

This morning I read Matthew chapters 11 and 12 and while I was reading them I was trying to answer this question, “What do I learn about the character of Christ from these chapters?”

To be honest, it was kind of a hard task this morning. The Savior did a lot of teaching in these two chapters, but a lot of it was hard words to the Pharisees and others who were hard of heart. But then when I read Matthew 11:8-30 I thought about our baptismal covenants, and the Savior’s promise to us, and how we can use His promise as an example of how to keep our baptismal covenants.

In Matthew the Lord promises us:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

In Mosiah in the Book of Mormon, we learn about our baptismal covenants:

and now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort…

Because we take Christ’s name upon us in baptism, we must learn to become like Him and do the things that He does.

Christ is “meek and lowly in heart” and bears our burdens. When we are baptized, we covenant to do the same for others – bear their burdens to make them feel light.

What does it mean to be meek and lowly in heart? A definition for “meek”  in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “easily imposed on.” The Savior is easily imposed on – we don’t have to plead and argue with Him for Him to agree to take our burdens. He just does it when we come to Him and ask. And we barely even have to ask, because He already knows that we have a burden.

In our lives, there are always people around us with burdens to be born. There are those who mourn, and those who need comfort. We do not need to wait for them to plead with us to take their burdens – the Savior is easily imposed on for comfort, and we should be the same way.

Sometimes we may feel that we can only bear our own burdens, but I know that we can bring both our burdens, and the burdens of others which we bear for them, to the Lord, and He will lighten our load. In Elder Alonso’s talk from General Conference, he said, “When we serve our neighbor, we help those who are in need. In the process we may find solutions to our own difficulties.” So as we bear the burdens of others, often we can find that our burdens are lightened as well.

What things have you learned about the character of Christ from the scriptures? How do you keep your baptismal covenant to bear one another’s burdens? How do you feel your burdens being lightened by the Savior?

Without Delay

(find the talk here – Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time, without Delay)

When Elder José L. Alonso spoke of losing his young son in Mexico city, my heart pounded and tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t know if it was just the mother in me, but hearing of any parent losing a child, whether temporarily, or for this life, evokes a lot of emotion in me. We lost site of our then three year old once in a big box department store, and I can still remember how my heart raced as we ran around the clothing department calling his name. I remember being grateful for the store employees who calmly communicated on their radios the situation, and our son was quickly located.

I appreciated Elder Alonso’s comment that they did not need a planning meeting to go to the rescue of their son. They “simply acted, going out in search of the one who had been lost.” I think that I am often guilty of waiting for instruction to go to the rescue. We recently started attending a new ward, and I want to serve and help people, but I haven’t received a visiting teaching assignment yet. That has been my (quite lame) excuse for not helping or serving more. Why am I waiting to be instructed to go to the rescue? I am sure that I am quite capable of searching out and helping those in need, and I know the Lord will help me in that effort if I actually step forward and go to work. Elder Alonso reminded us that “Each day we have the opportunity to give help and service—doing the right thing at the right time, without delay.” Why do I delay when the opportunities are all around me?

Elder Alson began his talk with this statement, “In our day many people are living in the midst of sadness and great confusion. They are not finding answers to their questions and are unable to meet their needs.” This made me think about times in my life when I have been in the “midst of sadness and great confusion,” feeling lost, and not finding answers to my questions. Thankfully, I have frequently been rescued by the help of wise parents, loving teachers, good friends, and righteous priesthood leaders. In those times, though, feelings of despair often threatened to overcome me. The rescue that I found was not necessarily those good people in themselves – they rescued me by reminding me of the Savior, sharing their testimonies and urging me to rely on Him. Indeed, “true happiness is found in following the example and teachings of Christ.”

Have you been rescued at times in your life? How do you go to the rescue of others? Do you need to be instructed before you go to the rescue? Or do you search and rescue when it is needed, “without delay”?

Find more insight on this talk over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club

To Think About Jesus – violin obligato

So our Primary Presidency asked me to play a violin obbligato with the primary for the primary program in a few weeks. First, they asked me to play something with If I Listen With My Heart. The conversation went something like this:

Primary Gal: Hey, Becca, could you play your violin with the primary for If I Listen with My Heart?
Me: Sure! (I never turn down an opportunity to play the violin. Love love love my violin!)
Primary Secretary: Great. So… do you need us to get you some music…?  (I knew where this was going)
Me: I could just make something up.
Primary  Secretary (voice dripping with relief): That is exactly what we wanted to hear! Thank you so much!

About a week later

Primary Secretary: Hey, Becca, so could you play with To Think About Jesus instead?
Me (thinking how great it is that I am a procrastinator and haven’t even pulled out my violin since she first asked): Sure! No problem.

So this morning I was frantically scratching out an obligato part on MuseScore (a fabulous free, open source music composition program) because we were supposed to have practice for the Primary program at 10am. Around ten o’clock I finally print off the finished product (thankful that we live around the block from the chapel), load my violin and my Sunbeam (V) into the car, and off we go. I get to the church parking lot and it is completely empty. Oh snap, practice isn’t until next weekend.

Well, at least now I am prepared a week in advance!

And I thought perhaps I would share my arrangement in case any one else wants to use it (either for this year’s program or for whatever – family home evening, you know, or something).

Please feel free to share a link to this page (please don’t copy and distribute the actual image on your own blog). And if you use the music, please print it in it’s entirety with the copyright tag in place.

If you would like a PDF copy (better quality for printing) don’t hesitate to email me at mysouldelighteth (at) gmail.com and I’ll send one right your way!

The Sabbath Part V – Worthy and Holy Activities

(This is Part V of a five part series on The Sabbath)

Several months ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a recent convert to the Church. I mentioned something about not going to the pool on Sunday, and she said to me, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” My friend was sincerely wanting to learn more about the Sabbath, and later when she and her boys moved in with us for a few weeks, we had an opportunity to talk more about the Sabbath.

The first thing that struck me when she asked, “Wait, we can’t go to the pool on Sunday?” was that word “can’t.” To me, it’s not as much about can’t  as it is about don’t. We don’t go to the pool (or participate in other recreational activities) on the Sabbath because we are too busy participating in “worthy and holy activities.” President Kimball said, “The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things.” Of course, that leaves us with the question “What is a worthy or holy activity?”

When the Church reorganized the meeting schedule to have only the three hour block of meetings on Sunday, they issued some instruction about what to do with all the time they would now have on the Sabbath. When before, families were attending meetings or traveling between meetings nearly all Sunday long, now they would attend their three hour block, then have the rest of the day to choose their activities. “Because the new schedule will give families time together on Sundays, parents will want to plan activities for the Sabbath that will spiritually strengthen the family.” So there is the key – worthy and holy activities will be those that spiritually strengthen families.

The Family Home Evening Manual has a really good “test” for Sabbath day activities. “To determine whether a specific activity is appropriate, ask, ‘Does it bring me closer to my Heavenly Father?’” This should be a pretty easy question to answer,  but the answer for this question might not be the same for every person. Each of us must ask this question about our own situation. Prayerfully ask this question, and you will probably be keeping the Sabbath day holy.

President Kimball had some suggestions for appropriate Sabbath day activities. “The Sabbath … is a day for consistent attendance at meetings for the worship of the Lord, drinking at the fountain of knowledge and instruction, enjoying the family, and finding uplift in music and song.” He also said that to observe the Sabbath day, “one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected.”

The Church News listed some good suggestions as well.

[Families] may wish to spend some time with the family each Sunday in gospel discussion and instruction, under the direction of the head of the household. They may use the scriptures, the most recent general conference talks, family home evening manuals, Church publications, and other publications as a resource.

Other appropriate Sunday activities include (1) writing personal and family journals, (2) holding family councils, (3) establishing and maintaining family organizations for the immediate and extended family, (4) personal interviews between parents and children, (5) writing to relatives and missionaries, (6) genealogy, (7) visiting relatives and those who are ill or lonely, (8) missionary work, (9) reading stories to children, and (10)singing Church hymns.

As somewhat of an illustration of what is not appropriate for the Sabbath, President Kimball shared this story, “A seminary group planned a service in the mountains on Sunday. They felt justified in the have their meeting and enjoyed a spiritual hour together, but after that hour the day became a day for picnicking, games, hiking,and climbing, with no further thought of the Sabbath. The one hour of devotion did not make of that day a holy day.” We have to make sure that we don’t fall into the mindset of being able to whatever we want to on the Sabbath just because we spent a few hours meditating and studying the gospel.

Further, the Church News article stated, “Many activities are not appropriate on the Sabbath day, such as gardening, family parties, and household projects. Families may wish to plan family household and recreational activities for Saturday or other weekdays when parents are home with their children.” I thought it was interesting that they included “family parties” in this, because I know many people who use Sunday dinner as an excuse to get all the family together, but often that means getting together for a very labor-intensive meal, followed by chatting, games, movies, or other not-so-appropriate Sunday activities. It would be one thing if a mother and father had all their grown children over on the Sabbath for a light dinner (think sandwiches, or a crockpot soup prepared the night before, or a casserole or something prepared the night before) and followed their dinner with a gospel discussion, reading from the scriptures and the words of the prophets, or watching Church videos about Christ and the plan of salvation. But too often, “visiting family” on the Sabbath turns into a chance to “play” with your family, watch a movie together, and partaking in worldly activities.

Our situations are all different, and that is the beauty of personal revelation. The Lord can help us find, through revelation, the activities that are appropriate for the Sabbath and the things that will bring us closer to Him and help us worship Him on His holy day. Whether you are single, married with no children, a part member family, or a grandma and grandpa with many grown children, you can still put forth an effort to keep the Sabbath day holy, and the Lord will bless your efforts.

The prophet Isaiah taught

If thou turn away … from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways,nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

The Sabbath day isn’t a day to deprive us of “fun” things – it is a day for us to practice putting our will in line with the Lord’s will, finding the things that He would have us do, and growing closer to Him in the process.

What a blessing it is that the Lord would set aside an entire day so that we can devote all that time to growing closer to Him without having to worry about all our worldly cares!

So this Sunday, as you plan activities with your family, ask yourself, “Does it bring me closer to Heavenly Father?”

What kinds of activities do you participate in on the Sabbath? Do you have specific struggles that make Sabbath day observance a challenge?

Part IV

Being Mormon – the Priesthood in the Family

(read the handbook of instruction here)

One of perhaps the most misunderstood principles of the Gospel (both outside and inside the LDS Church) is that of the priesthood and patriarchal leadership. I have to admit, until I attended a class at BYU Campus Education Week back in August, I didn’t really completely understand it either.

We believe that the father (hopefully a Melchizedek Priesthood holder) “presides in righteousness and love, serving as the family’s spiritual leader. He leads the family in regular prayer, scripture study, and family home evening.” We call this the “patriarchal order” and some people have a hard time with it.

First, let me talk about the priesthood. When a young man turns 12, he is ordained to the Aaronic (or “preparatory”) priesthood. Basically this priesthood is teaching young men how to be worthy Melchizedek priesthood holders. As a young man grows up, and as his knowledge increases, and as he remains worthy, he is ordained to each additional office of the Aaronic priesthood – a teacher, at fourteen; and a priest, at sixteen. When he turns eighteen, with plans of serving a full time mission, his ordained to the Melchizedek priesthood in the office of an Elder – now ready to preach the gospel to the world, and to ordain others to the priesthood (as authorized by Church leaders).

One of the biggest hang ups that some people have about men holding the Priesthood is just that – it’s men who hold the Priesthood. Many people (inside and outside the Church) assume that means that the LDS Church is a chauvinistic, man-run organization. That men get to tell the women what’s up, and that women are somehow inferior to men.

Not so.

First let me quote from The Family: A Proclamation to the World: “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” (emphasis added) So, if men and woman are “equal partners” then why don’t women have the priesthood? The short answer is that they do have the priesthood (or at least all the power of the priesthood). By the Holy Ghost, which is received at baptism, women have all the power of the priesthood within them that men have. (see D&C 84: 64-68)

Many gospel principles come in pairs, and if you take them out of their pairs, they get all messed up. Take faith and works – by faith we are saved through the grace of Jesus Christ, but faith without works is dead. We need both. Again, justice and mercy – we don’t need mercy if there wasn’t justice that needed to be satisfied, and we couldn’t satisfy justice without mercy (and still return to Heavenly Father) because we are all so imperfect. When we look at gospel principles as a whole, things make so much more sense.

So, we have the doctrine of patriarchal order in the Church – the Priesthood holder (a man) is the spiritual leader (notice I said spiritual – and it pretty well stops there). But we also have a very important doctrine that men and women are complete equals as well. President Howard W. Hunter said, “A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating thereto.” Women have full participation in all the decisions a man could make when it comes to the leadership of the home. The way our instructor at Education Week described it was the husband and wife are co-presidents, rather than the man “president” of the home and the wife “vice-president” – they are co-presidents, each holding equal veto power for all decisions, and making all decisions together. Being a little more stern, President Hunter continued, “For a man to operate independent of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion.” So this principle of equality between man and woman is actually very significant and important. A husband is not the “head” of the family – he presides over the family – and it is a spiritual presiding.

What does that mean? What does it mean to preside spiritually over something?

Let’s look to the life of the Savior. The Savior is the spiritual leader of everything. He’s basically the end-all,  be-all of spiritual leadership – and rightly so, since it is His Church. But how did the Savior lead? He blessed children, He healed people, He washed His disciples feet. “

He led by serving.

And so it is with the priesthood. There is something significant about the priesthood, and that is the priesthood can never be used for personal benefit. A man who holds priesthood cannot give himself a blessing – he has to ask another priesthood holder for that blessing. And another significant principle of the priesthood is that every woman on the earth has available to her every blessing of the priesthood. What’s that you say? Every blessing. There is nothing a man can receive that a woman cannot receive – including blessings of the priesthood. In the same talk, President Howard W. Hunter said, “Of necessity there must be in the Church and in the home a presiding officer.” That presiding officer comes from the priesthood – but remember, the presiding officer is really the serving officer. Basically, then, a man is given the priesthood of God so that he will serve. Serve his family, serve the Church, serve God, serve others.

So the priesthood calling and authority is really just a calling to serve – and women have that same calling and authority, just no formal ordination to the priesthood – however, we are entitled to the power and blessings of the priesthood. There is nothing keeping us from anything the priesthood has to offer. President Joseph Fielding Smith said, “While the sisters have not been given the Priesthood, that does not mean that the Lord has not given unto them authority.  Authority and Priesthood are two different things.  A person may have authority given to him, or a sister to her, to do certain things in the Church that are binding and absolutely necessary for our salvation, such as the work that our sisters do in the House of the Lord.”

To better understand this concept – that no blessing or power of the priesthood is withheld from women – I recommend an article written by Heather at Women in the Scriptures about the history of Relief Society sisters blessing each other. It is a really interesting article, and very enlightening. I want to share part of a scripture that she quoted.

"Therefore, as I said unto my apostles I say unto you again, that every soul who beleiveth on your words, and is baptized by water for the remission of sins, shall receive the Holy Ghost. And these signs shall follow them that believe. In my name they shall do many wonderful works; In my name they shall cast out devils; In my name they shall heal the sick...." (D&C 84: 64-68)

From Heather’s post, she said “The gift to heal is a gift given to all the followers of Christ, male and female. Women in the early days of the church often participated in healing as demonstrations of faith… Women who gave blessings never claimed priesthood power but always closed their blessings in the name of Jesus Christ.” And that “Joseph Smith clarified that women had the gift to heal and administer because of their faith and not because of their priesthood authority.” Women are eligible for every single blessing of the priesthood, because those blessings only come through the Holy Ghost, which is bestowed by the priesthood. Women can and do receive all the blessings of the priesthood.

In the Church Handbook of Instructions, the section I am reading today has a heading “Use of Priesthood Authority.” In this section, there is instruction given on delegating priesthood authority. If you still aren’t convinced that women can have ever blessing of the priesthood, let me tell you that they are also organized under priesthood authority and are given authority to preside in the Church. When the prophet Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society, he told them “This organization is divinely made, divinely authorized, divinely instituted, divinely ordained of God to minister for the salvation of the souls of women and of men.” (Daughters in My Kingdom, p.7) The Handbook of Instruction says that “Priesthood leaders can delegate authority by assigning others to assist them in fulfilling a calling.” By delegating responsibilities to Relief Society presidencies, Young Women presidencies, and Primary presidencies, and other callings, women have, by delegation, authority over their callings, under the direction of their priesthood leaders.

The ultimate illustration of the participation of women in the priesthood is that the priesthood needs woman for exaltation (to live with God and receive all that He has), and woman needs the priesthood for exaltation. A man holding the priesthood cannot be exalted without a woman, and a woman cannot be exalted without a man holding the priesthood. The full blessings of the priesthood can only be obtained with a man and a woman enter into the new and everlasting covenant of the priesthood – that of eternal marriage.

Do you feel that men and women are equal? Do you understand your priesthood privileges? How do you experience the blessings of the priesthood in your life? How do you bless others because of the priesthood?

The Sabbath Part IV – Rest From Our Labors

(This is Part IV of a five part series on The Sabbath)

To Rest From our Labors

Elder Perry said, “Sometimes we think of resting from our labors as merely letting the hay baler stand idle in the field or putting a Closed sign on the business door.” President Kimball said, “Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient.”

Our “work” these days is often done in the home, from the home, and sometimes it is hard to stay away from those work related activities in our homes. There are also other types of “work” we must rest from. “business activities we may accomplish from home, athletic competitions, and other pursuits that take us away from Sabbath day worship and the opportunity to minister to others.” I think that Elder Perry’s description of “work” can help us make our own judgments about what we should and should not do on the Sabbath. Anything that “takes us away from Sabbath day worship and the opportunity to minister to others” is probably not an appropriate activity for the Sabbath.

President Kimball warned, “Strange as it may seem, some Latter-day Saints, faithful in all other respects, justify themselves in missing their church meetings on occasion for recreational purposes, feeling that the best fishing will be missed if one is not on the stream on opening day or that the vacation will not be long enough if one does not set off on Sunday or that one will miss a movie he wanted to see if he does not go on the Sabbath.” Anything that takes us away from Sabbath worship is not keeping the Sabbath day holy, for sure. Our place is in our meetings on the Sabbath day – particularly sacrament meeting, but also Sunday School and Relief Society and Priesthood meetings.

I know some people (I won’t name names…) who like to nap all Sunday afternoon, or sleep in Sunday morning if they have afternoon Church meetings, but President Kimball says, “The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it.” What? It’s breaking the Sabbath to lounge around? I thought we were supposed to “rest from our labors”?

A few weeks ago we studied the Gospel Principles lesson on the Spirit World and one of the characteristics of the Spirit world is that “The spirit world is a place of waiting, working, learning, and, for the righteous, resting from care and sorrow.” It seems contradictory to talk about “working” and “resting” in the same sentence, but that is exactly what the Spirit world will be like – we will rest from care and sorrow (from worldly things) and yet we will be working to save souls. Do you see the parallel with the Sabbath? On the Sabbath we rest from worldly pursuits and instead focus all our efforts on spiritual pursuits.

Taking a nap to rejuvenate your body and mind is obviously very appropriate for the Sabbath, but if your nap is three hours long you are probably missing out on “the opportunity to minister to others” on the Sabbath. And if you are needing a nap or to sleep in because you were out partying all night long on Saturday, or because you stayed up late Saturday night playing videos games or watching movies, then that is not really a good reason for a nap. Our preparation for the Sabbath day begins on Saturday. Remember that Primary song? “Saturday is a special day it’s the day we get ready for Sunday.” My family used to sing that song on Saturday as we did chores around the house getting it ready for the Sabbath. We try to retire early on Saturday night so that we will be rested and refreshed for the Sabbath day.

How do you rest on the Sabbath day? Do you choose only activities that will allow you to attend your meetings and that will allow you to find opportunities to minister to others?

Part III            Part V

The Sanctifying Work of Welfare

(find the talk here)

I have been gaining a stronger testimony recently that many Church programs are not simply organizations made up by man to help the members of the Church. They are revealed programs by the Lord, and existed in the ancient Church, whether they were called by the same name. Recently the leaders of the Church have been testifying of the organization of the Relief Society and the Welfare program, reminding us that these programs existed in Christ’s day, even if they were called something else.

Bishop H. David Burton said, “It is in the benevolent practice of sacrifice and giving of ourselves to others that we learn the celestial principles of sacrifice and consecration.” Since celestial glory is the goal of members of the Church, learning to live celestial principles is definitely our goal here on earth. The principles of welfare are really principles of sacrifice and consecration, two covenants that we make with our Father.

The welfare work is led by bishops all over the world to help the members of the ward – not just those who attend their congregation, but those within their ward boundaries who are in need of assistance. That seems like a huge responsibility, but the bishops are assisted by ward councils including Relief Society presidents, who, President Eyring said, may receive revelation for how to help before the bishop does.

I was really impressed by the story Bishop Burton told of the priesthood leader in South America who was distressed by the hunger and poverty of the members of his ward. Instead of writing to Church headquarters for food or clothing, the priesthood leader found a little plot of land, and with help from the brethren and sisters in the ward cultivated the land and grew crops to feed the ward member – despite trials and setbacks.

I think this is the key to the welfare program of the Church – it is not simply to help people, but to “help people help themselves.” The whole gospel message is that – the leaders of the Church can teach us the principles of the gospel, and can provide a place to meet, and manuals and scriptures to study, but we have to do the actual work. We have to want to become spiritually self-sufficient, just as we have to want to become temporally self-provident. Of course, we cannot become self-proficient at anything without the necessary tools, so it is our job as members of Christ’s kingdom to help give our neighbors the things they need to learn how to help themselves.

Bishop Burton gave a great illustration of how we have to take care of the temporal needs of those who also have spiritual needs.

In 1897 a young David O. McKay stood at a door with a tract in his hand. As a missionary in Stirling, Scotland, he had done this many times before. But on that day a very haggard woman opened the door and stood before him. She was poorly dressed and had sunken cheeks and unkempt hair.

She took the tract Elder McKay offered to her and spoke six words that he subsequently would never forget: “Will this buy me any bread?”

This encounter left a lasting impression on the young missionary. He later wrote: “From that moment I had a deeper realization that the Church of Christ should be and is interested in the temporal salvation of man. I walked away from the door feeling that that [woman], with … bitterness in[her heart] toward man and God, [was] in no position to receive the message of the gospel. [She was] in need of temporal help, and there was no organization, so far as I could learn, in Stirling that could give it to[her].”¹

The Savior himself often healed physical infirmities before healing spirits. He knew that when people feel taken care of they are more likely to accept the gospel. I would not believe in a gospel or a Church that preached anything but left its members out in the cold. President Gordon B. Hinckley told members in distress that, “As long as the Church has resources, we will not let you go hungry or without clothing or without shelter. We shall do all that we can to assist in the way that the Lord has designated that it should be done.” Bishop Burton quoted President Heber J. Grant who said he would “close the seminaries, shut down missionary work for a period of time, or even close the temples, but they would not let the people go hungry.” What a beautiful statement – the welfare program of the Church is truly inspired.

It seems to me that the success of the Church’s welfare program is based on the self-sufficiency of the members, and the education and eventual self-sufficiency of those who may receive assistance at one time or another. Bishop Burton listed the foundational principles of self-reliance, “avoid debt, implement principles of thrift, prepare for times of distress, listen to and follow the words of the living oracles, develop the discipline to distinguish between needs and wants and then live accordingly.” I thought it was interesting that a principle of self-reliance would be to listen to and follow the words of the prophets. But, indeed, following the prophets leads not only to spiritual prosperity, but temporal prosperity as well.

Bishop Burton’s talk is inspiring me to be more self-sufficient so that I can contribute to the welfare work of God’s kingdom. It also gives me the courage to ask for help when I need it. When we help each other and consecrate our time and means for each other and for the Church, we are truly learning the meaning of sacrifice and consecration.

In what ways do you participate in the Church’s welfare program? Have you had to accept help from the welfare program? Did you feel more able to provide for your family because of the assistance of the Church? How have you been able to help others as you have become self reliant?

This is the last week to enter my 100th Blog Post giveaway! I’m giving away framed prints of the Salt Lake Temple. Make sure you enter!

The Eternal Blessings of Marriage

Remember to enter my 100th blog post Giveaway!

(find the talk here)

I loved Elder Richard G. Scott’s talk when I heard it in Conference, and I have loved it each of the 10+ times I have read or listened to it since. The love that he expresses for his wife was really touching, and made me crave to have that in my own marriage.

“Two of the vital pillars that sustain Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness are marriage and the family.” Marriage and family are under attack by Satan, because he wants to do everything he can to destroy God’s plan for us. We need to fight back with strong, righteous families and rock-solid temple marriages.

I struggle sometimes with the words of the prophets on marriage, because they are usually speaking to the men about how to treat their wives, or to both partners about how to have a strong marriage, but the prophets don’t usually speak about how to be a good wife. I have been married for six years, and I still feel like I’m just doing the best I can, but that I don’t have a clue how to be a good wife.

“Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered.” I am a very stubborn person, so I think that marriage has helped me to become less stubborn. It also helps me to look outside of myself and serve others. I can serve my husband and my children. “I think one of the reasons that we are counseled to get married early in life is to avoid developing inappropriate character traits that are hard to change.” Hopefully by being married early in my life I will be able to avoid developing inappropriate character traits! I feel myself softening as the years go by in my marriage. Marriage is hard, and I can feel my soul stretching and expanding as I try to be a righteous wife and mother. Sometimes the stretching hurts, but I am trying to be open minded and humble. I don’t always succeed (actually, most of the time I am still just stubborn – but I am trying!)

Finally, I want to be more like Elder Scott’s wife who, “in her morning prayer she would ask her Father in Heaven to lead her to someone she could help. That sincere supplication was answered time and again. The burdens of many were eased; their lives were brightened. She was blessed continually for being an instrument directed by the Lord.” Sometimes I feel like I am barely able to keep my own head above water, but I think that as I continue to look outside myself for ways to help God’s children He will give me strength to bear my own infirmities.

What blessings have you received from Eternal Marriage? Do you share sweet messages with your spouse, like Elder Scott described with his wife? Does marriage stretch you? If you are not married, are you actively seeking someone to spend eternity with?

Become as a Little Child

(find the talk here)

When I wrote about Elder Cook’s talk a few days ago, I mentioned that Heavenly Father has given me an indescribable love and profound regard for children. Sister Jean A. Stevens’ talk reminded me of that love.

I get emotional whenever I see, hear about, or read about children being children. My husband and I went through foster care training classes earlier this year and I cried through just about every class. When I think about or talk about children, I am overcome with a feeling of how precious and sacred little children are. I can barely get through singing the songs in the Children’s Songbook about children. One of my favorite songs is “How Dear To God are Little Children”

How dear to God are little children
With Him their spirit life began
So priceless their security, their innocence and purity
They are a part of His eternal plan.

To earthly parents God sends children
To guide and teach protect and love
Oh let us keep the sacred trust that He has placed with each of us
And help to guide them back to God above.

How dear to God are little children.

Sister Steven’s talk makes it clear exactly why little children are so dear to God. Their innocence and purity is a guide for us to learn from them. We have so much to learn from little children. Too often we think that it is our job to “make” our children “be good.” But Heavenly Father places us on earth as little children so that we can learn from the examples of their innocence and purity. “These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts. They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit. They exemplify humility, obedience, and love. They are often the first to love and the first to forgive.”

One of the things I believe most strongly in is the innocence of children. Too often I see mothers who talk about how their children are “trying to make them mad” or “testing them” or their kids want to make life hard for them. What these mothers would do well to realize is that their children are actually perfect, innocent, and precious and it is our job to become like them. The other part of our job is to “guide them back to God above.” But I think that we learn to lead by following. As we learn to become like a child – meek, submissive, humble, and willing to submit to all things – we become better able to lead our children.

“Have some of life’s experiences taken from you the believing heart and childlike faith you once had? If so, look around at the children in your life. And then look again… If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth.” If we could help children stay like children – if we could help them recognize their divine attributes of meekness, humility, and faith – we might be able to help them grow into much more faithful adults. And we might actually become more faithful adults ourselves.

How do you help children recognize their divine qualities? Do you see the divine in your children, or do you assign “adult” motives to their actions, rather than recognizing their innocence? Do you strive to become more like your children so that you can lead by following their Christ-like examples?

Find more great comments on Sister Stevens' talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

“Opportunities to do Good”

(find the talk here)

I have listened to this talk several times and I always get a little teary-eyed when President Henry B. Eyring talks about the couple who lost their home when the Teton dam broke in Idaho. You’ll have to read the whole talk to find out what happened.

The thing that struck me this time when I read this talk was how timely this talk is (aren’t all the General Conference talks pretty timely?). I think that this talk directly and indirectly addressed some major issues in today’s disaster-ridden world. Natural disasters and financial disasters and political disasters abound in every country. Some of us are asking “Why does God let such bad things happen to His children?” My favorite question to ask is “Why is this happening?” – not in a despairing, or a “questioning” way – but as an  invitation to myself and to Heavenly Father to teach me His will, and to teach me what I need to learn from the situation.

As I attended BYU Campus Education Week recently, I observed that I believe that one of the beautiful effects of agency is that we have the capacity to hurt each other, which gives us the opportunity to learn how to use the atonement both to repent, and to forgive.

The question about natural disasters and other accidents and disasters has led me to believe that God allows bad things to happen so the we have opportunities to do good. If people never lost their homes to floods, earthquakes, fires, and other disasters, we would never have opportunities to shelter the homeless. If there was not drought and famine, we would not have opportunities to feed the hungry. If there were not fires and tornados and hurricanes, we would not have the opportunities we have to clothe the naked.

I believe the God is providing opportunities for us to grow through doing good deeds for each other and taking care of each other. Trials and tribulation are definitely a part of this earthly life – but I think the deeper purpose of those trials and tribulations is to give us opportunities to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:18-19) and “to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.” (Jacob 2:19).

President Eyring pointed out that those who take advantage of the opportunities to do good are “people who out of love have consecrated themselves and what they have to God and to His work.” Something that really stuck out to me in his talk was when he described the Lord’s way of providing these opportunities.

“Because the Lord hears their cries and feels your deep compassion for them, He has from the beginning of time provided ways for His disciples to help. He has invited His children to consecrate their time, their means, and themselves to join with Him in serving others.

“His way of helping has at times been called living the law of consecration.In another period His way was called the united order. In our time it is called the Church welfare program.”

I have always been interested in the law of consecration and the united order, and I often wondered why we do not live the law of consecration in our day. After attending the temple for the first time, I realized that we really do still live in the law of consecration. As President Eyring pointed out, today we call it the “Church welfare program.”

Those who help others have consecrated their lives to building up God’s kingdom on earth – and that means helping those in need. Whenever they need it.

My father used to tell us, “Never deny others the blessings they can receiving from giving (or serving).” His point was that we should let people give us things and serve us, because we would not be the only ones getting blessings – those who served and gave would also be blessed. This has really been significant for me, because I often feel that I am in a “better position” (financially, spiritually, temporally, etc) than those who so often offer to help me. But what I realize my father was trying to teach us was that no matter a person’s position in life, they can always benefit from the blessings the Lord will give them for serving and loving His children.

President Eyring echoed my father’s words when he said, “I have seen the blessings that come to the person in need who receives help and to the person who seizes the opportunity to give it.” Blessings always come to both the giver and the receiver. Later on President Eyring quoted President Marion G. Romney who said, “You cannot give yourself poor in this work.” and President Melvin J. Ballard who said, “A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return.” Both the giver and the receiver area always blessed, and often it is the giver who is blessed more abundantly than the receiver – hence my father’s counsel to never deny those blessing to the person who would serve us.

President Eyring listed four principles that have guided him when he wanted to help in the Lord’s way, and I will simply list them. You can read more about them in his talk.

1. “[A]ll people are happier and feel more self-respect when they can provide for themselves and their family and then reach out to take care of others.”
2. “The power and blessing of unity. When we join hands to serve people in need, the Lord unites our hearts.”
3. “Draw your family into the work with you so that they can learn to care for each other as they care for others.”
4. “[T]he Lord sends the Holy Ghost to make it possible to ‘seek, and ye shall find’ in caring for the poor as He does in finding the truth.”

He then listed three suggestions as you plan to do service

1. “Prepare yourself and those you lead spiritually.”
2. “Choose as recipients of your service people within the kingdom or in the community whose needs will touch the hearts of those who will give the service.”
3. “Draw on the power of the bongs of families, quorums, of auxiliary organizations, and of people you know in your communities. The feelings of unity will multiply the good effects of the service you give.”

I hope that I can put President Eyring’s counsel to work in my life as I consecrate my life to the kingdom and look for those whose lives I can touch through meaningful service.

How do you find and take advantage of “opportunities to do good”? Have you found the principles President Eyring discussed to be true as you have served others? Do you deny others the blessings of giving service when they would serve you? Or do you welcome offers of service, knowing that the giver often receives more than the recipient of the service?

Find more great comments on President Eyring’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

The Home and the Church

(find the handbook here)

The fundamental unit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (and of society) is the family. If families don’t function, or don’t exist, or aren’t strong, then nothing else really happens. How do we all become well-adjusted, mature, educated adults? It’s not because we would just become that way on our own. It was because we had parents who nurtured us.

In our foster parent training, we learned that studies have found that children do better when they live and are raised by their biological parents, if that environment is physically and emotionally safe. No matter what – it doesn’t matter what kind of parenting style the parents have – being raised by biological parents who are at least semi-functional is a huge indicator of success in life. Of course that is not always possible, and children can do just fine in foster and adoptive families – but being raised in the biological family when it is a safe environment is always better for the child, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Not to mention that the natural way a human being is brought to this earth is through the most sacred intimate act that can occur between a man and a woman – and then comes a child. This would point to the truth that family is central to this whole world – and that a family is a husband and wife, and their children. The parent’s duty is to raise those children so that they will have families of their own some day and then the cycle continues in God’s eternal family.
“To be a strong and vital organization, the Church needs righteous families.” Just as society doesn’t function without families, neither would the Church, since the family is the basic unit of the Church. The Church exists to strengthen families, and strong families help create strong families. The church has many “ordinances, teaching, programs, and activities that are home centered and Church supported.” Think about that for a minute – the ordinances of the gospel (baptism, the sacrament, and temple ordinances) are home centered and Church supported. But that only makes sense – the ordinances of baptism and the sacrament and the temple endowment are all preparatory to receiving the crowing ordinance of celestial marriage, which is what is ultimately necessary for exaltation. And what is celestial marriage? It is the beginning of a family, which will never end as far as the partners in that marriage fulfill their temple covenants.

Sometimes as members of the Church, it is easy to think about “outsourcing” our children’s gospel education to Church leaders, primary teachers, and seminary. However, “Priesthood and auxiliary leaders and teachers seek to assist parents, not to supersede or replace them.” We send our children to Primary to reinforce the gospel instruction they receive at home, not the other way around. It is our duty as parents to instruct our children about the gospel in the home, at every moment of every day, and in every conversation with them so that when they go to Church, it is comfortable and familiar, because they learned it at home first.

Strengthening the Home

“[H]oly places include temples, homes, and chapels. The presence of the Spirit and the behavior of those within these physical structures are what make them ‘holy places.’” I have always loved the concept of “holy places” and was taught early in my youth that any place can be a holy place. I remember a story was told once of a young woman who wrote inside of her shoes “holy places” to remind herself that everywhere she went could be a “holy place” if she would strive to have the Spirit with her. Our homes can be holy places if we will strive to have the Spirit in our homes by loving each other, serving each other, talking often of Christ and His gospel, and filling our homes with things that are “virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy.”

In Doctrine & Covenants section 88, the Lord gives some instruction about how the temple should be – and since our home should be like a temple, these things apply to making our homes holy places. He said a temple (and thus, a home) should be a “house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God”. This is a pretty straightforward list of things we should do to make our homes holy places.

As I mentioned earlier, children do better with biological parents in a safe environment. Of course, any safe environment is better than biological parents who create an unsafe environment. So what is a safe environment? “A home with loving and loyal parents is the setting in which the spiritual and physical needs of children are most effectively met. A Christ-centered home offers adults and children a place of defense against sin, refuge from the world, healing from emotional and other pain, and committed, genuine love.” I don’t think I could have put it any more eloquently or straightforward.

“Strengthening families is the focus of inspired Church programs such as home teaching (see D&C 20:47, 51), visiting teaching, and family home evening.” All the Church programs support the family, but these programs are especially focused on supporting the families. And notice that it is families helping other families – home and visiting teaching take mothers and fathers from one home and bring them into another home, so that as families we can help each other. We do not have to feel like we are alone in strengthening our families. Good home and visiting teachers can help us to strengthen our families.

Family Home Evening

“Family home evening is sacred, private family time under the direction of the parents. Priesthood leaders should not give directions as to what families should do during this time.” We try to be consistent with our family home evenings, and while we are not always perfect, we do try. We cherish family home evening time as a time to specifically address the gospel – although gospel discussion can (and should) happen every day, in every setting.

“Family home evening may include family prayer, gospel instruction, testimony sharing, hymns and Primary songs, and wholesome recreational activities.” This is more or less how our Family Home Evening goes. Since we have small children, the gospel instruction is usually simple, and consists mostly of a few questions we ask the children to gauge their understanding of the principle, and then we give a little instruction, and then we try to participate in an activity together that will help us understand and apply the principle. For example, this week we talked about cleanliness – physical as well as spiritual cleanliness. And then for the activity we washed the van (it had been on a camping trip with the youth for Youth Conference, so it needed it badly). Washing the van became the object lesson for our gospel discussion as well as the activity for our family home evening, and working together is never a bad idea.

Strengthening Individuals

“Church leaders should give special attention to individuals who do not presently enjoy the support of a family of strong Church members. These members may include children and youth whose parents are not members of the Church, other individuals in part-member families, and single adults of all ages. They are covenant members of God’s eternal family, deeply loved by Him. These individuals should be given opportunities for service in the Church. The Church can provide wholesome sociality and fellowship that these members can find nowhere else.” This is an especially tender topic for me and my husband, as one of our goals is to be a family that is a family for anyone who needs one (hence our strong desire to foster and adopt). If a person needs a family, we will be that family. I feel that Heavenly Father is pleased with our desire to do this, and will assist us in reaching out to those in need of the support of a family. It is the job of the Church to reach out to those individuals, but aren’t we, as members of God’s kingdom, responsible to do the jobs of the Church, when really the job of the Church is to support families – that should be our job, too.

What things do you do to strengthen your own home and family? How do you strengthen other families? How do you strengthen those who do not have a strong family?

“Finding Joy Through Loving Service”

(find the talk here)

Let me tell you a secret. The first part isn’t so much a secret – I like to run. I have been running consistently for several years now, and I really enjoy it. It gives me a chance to get out and be on my own for a little while, and when I am running outside (my very favorite place to run) I get to see the beautiful reflections of God’s love for us, evident in this wonderful world He created for us.

The secret part is that when you see me with my headphones on while I’m running, don’t assume I’m listening to some 80’s rock (my favorite running music). More often than not (unless I’m running a race) I’m probably listening to General Conference talks.

What’s interesting is that I just listened to Elder M. Russell Ballard’s talk during my recent run – and I don’t remember any of it, except the story of the gold prospector, and the part about how we need to serve others in our community to help spread the gospel throughout the world.

So I was excited to read it. And then I read it. And nothing stood out to me. Which is weird, because usually when I read the talks from General Conference I love them. Not this one. Of course, I knew it was all true, and I kind of got excited when Elder Ballard started talking about how charity begins at home. But he only spent a few sentences talking about that, and moved on. It felt like he briefly touched on many different small “nuggets” of truth, and didn’t really expound on any of them. At first, I was disappointed, because I love delving into the doctrine of the gospel, especially when my study is led by a prophet and apostle. But then as I read Elder Ballard’s testimony at the end of his talk, I realized how appropriate it was for him to touch on all these nuggets, especially in light of how he told the story of how the young man panning for gold was looking for nuggets, and was missing all the flecks of gold.

I am like that a lot. I look for the nuggets and miss the flecks. I want to know the “big things” that will make me a good person. Especially in mothering. I feel guilty because I don’t do huge activities with my kids every stinking day. Half the time I don’t even really play with them one-on-one. I feel like I’m failing them. But then when I add up all the small “flecks” of fun things I do with my children, even just acknowledging them and the things they say, and including them in my activities as I clean the house and do chores, I know those things are adding up for my kids and their lives are being filled with all the flecks of gold that I can give them.

Elder Ballard spoke directly to my perceived dilemma right from the start of his talk, “Against this beautiful backdrop of spring and its symbolism of hope, there is a world of uncertainty, complexity, and confusion. The demands of everyday life—education, jobs, raising children, Church administration and callings, worldly activities, and even the pain and sorrow of unexpected illness and tragedy—can wear us down.” (emphasis added) I have felt the “uncertainty, complexity, and confusion” of this world all too well in the past few months. Just when I think I have things figured out, something goes “wrong” and I feel my life spiraling out of control. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Elder Ballard said, “Brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, no matter how much we try to make it complicated. We should strive to keep our lives similarly simple, unencumbered by extraneous influences, focused on those things that matter most.” (emphasis added) You’d think that after President Uchtdorf’s talk last fall, we would have ‘things that matter most’ down to an art. For some reason, I keep forgetting, and I need to be reminded at every General Conference.

Like I said, Elder Ballard’s talk was a collection of gold flakes, and taken together, you can see the importance of the principle he spoke about – love and charity for one another. My favorite flake was a quote from the Book of Mormon about how to receive this gift of love and charity. “…pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love…” I don’t know any other way to receive spiritual gifts. We can’t just read a self-help book and suddenly have spiritual gifts. Really, we can’t do anything of our own power. Everything we have, and everything we are, is through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Why should being able to express love and charity be any different? We have to pray for spiritual gifts. Patience and love for my children and my husband are probably the number one topics of my prayers to Heavenly Father. Mostly because I struggle with the patience part, but also because I know where patience comes from. I don’t just work hard at it and have it. Sure, I should work at it, but unless I am blessed with that gift from Heavenly Father, all my hard work won’t be enough.

How do you receive spiritual gifts? Do you pray for the gift of charity in your daily prayers? What flakes of spiritual gold did you find in Elder Ballard’s talk?

Find more great comments on Elder Ballard’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

Waiting on the Road to Damascus

(find the talk here)

I always love listening to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf speak. I don’t know if it is his German accent which reminds me of my days living in the German house and associating with native German speakers, or if it is his mastery of the English language, or his aviation stories, or his amazing testimony – probably a combination of all of the above.

With my love of listening to President Uchtdorf, you would think that I had heard this talk at General Conference in April. Well, I don’t really remember it. I remember maybe hearing part of it (the part about texting to people that he hadn’t given an aviation analogy in his talk) but other than that I was probably trying to keep the kids from fighting, or drawing on the walls, or spilling their snacks everywhere.

So I am very grateful to Steph at Diapers and Divinity for posting this talk for the General Conference Book Club this week. And I can’t wait to listen to this talk on my run (playlist of choice for my runs? General Conference – of course!)

President Uchtdorf talked about how some of us wait on the road to Damascus for a vision like Paul received, or like Joseph Smith received in the sacred grove. Instead of actively seeking the Lord, we wait for Him to come to us.

I don’t want to be waiting. I don’t want to wait for something spectacular to build my testimony – I want to be actively seeking the Lord.

I am reminded of the Primary song

“I’ll seek the Lord early while in my youth
and He will help me to know the truth.
I’ll search the scriptures and find Him there,
then go to our Father in fervent prayer.

I’ll seek the Lord early and I’ll obey
His living prophets in all they say
I’ll keep His commandments; His love will abound
I will seek the Lord early and He will be found.”
                                                  (here)

President Uchtdorf testified, “The truth is, those who diligently seek to learn of Christ eventually will come to know Him.” I am continually impressed with all of the doctrines that are taught in the Primary songs. And I first learned this Primary song when I was very very young – but the words have stuck with me.

I am glad that I was taught to seek the Lord in my youth, but I think that as I have grown, both in age, and in the gospel, I have not been seeking the Lord as diligently as I once was. I go through periods in my life when I am actively seeking the Lord, and then I have other periods in my life where I wait on the road to Damascus. And then I hear a talk like President Uchtdorf’s, and it kicks me in to action, so to speak.

I loved the following analogy by President Uchtdorf, especially because I was blessed to attend the Carl Bloch exhibit at Brigham Young University’s Museum of Art last month with my husband.

“[T]hose who diligently seek to learn of Christ … will personally receive a divine portrait of the Master, although it most often comes in the form of a puzzle—one piece at a time. Each individual piece may not be easily recognizable by itself; it may not be clear how it relates to the whole. Each piece helps us to see the big picture a little more clearly. Eventually, after enough pieces have been put together, we recognize the grand beauty of it all. Then, looking back on our experience, we see that the Savior had indeed come to be with us—not all at once but quietly, gently, almost unnoticed.”

Definitely my testimony of the Savior has come to me this way – quietly, gently, almost unnoticed. In fact, sometimes I forget that I even have a testimony of the Savior because it was built so quietly and so gently, and came in such small pieces. And, like a puzzle, sometimes some of the pieces get knocked off the table, or swept under the couch, and my portrait of the Savior has a few holes that I just can’t seem to fill in.

President Uchtdorf mentioned a few things we can do to move forward with faith and seek the Lord diligently. He mentioned that we should hearken and heed, serve, and share.

Among these, the hearken and heed is probably the hardest for me. I feel like I am not very good at understanding or hearing the promptings of the Spirit, and because of that, I don’t feel like I do a very good job heeding those promptings. I want to receive promptings from the Spirit, but sometimes I doubt that I will be able to recognize them, let alone follow the direction I might receive.

Perhaps I would be wise to follow the counsel of President Uchtdorf – “To better hear His voice, it would be wise to turn down the volume control of the worldly noise in our lives.” Anyone with one preschooler, let alone multiple preschoolers, will know that turning down the volume is hard, if not impossible. Of course, President Uchtdorf means more than just physical noise. He is also talking about all of the worldly distractions – books, TV shows, blogs, music, activities, even sometimes our thoughts can be distractions. One of the ways I get around this is by spending some quiet time by myself each morning studying the gospel, praying, and writing down my thoughts. I should incorporate more quiet time throughout the day, though. Too often I have my scripture study at the beginning and end of my day, but rarely do I take a few minutes to check in with Heavenly Father during the day. Mostly that only happens on the most trying days with my children when I am about to lose my temper and I give myself a little “count-to-ten” time out. Most of the time, while I am counting to ten, I am also praying for guidance and patience as a mother. I don’t always feel a strong impression about what to do, but the few moments of prayer always bring a better sense of calm to my spirit, and I am able to think a little more clearly. But I should try to have those quiet moments more than just at the craziest times of my day. I should frequently stop and check in. Perhaps that will help me turn down the volume on the worldly noise, and help me feel those promptings more frequently.

When President Uchtdorf spoke about serving, he quoted President Spencer W. Kimball who said, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.” I love this, because I believe strongly that we are frequently the answers to each others prayers. I have had friends, family members and others be the answer to my prayers, and I have been in the position to be the answer to the prayers of those around me. There is nothing more touching than being the answer to someone’s prayers. We must serve each other and get to know each other and notice when people need helps because “It is usually through another person that [God] meets our needs.”

I loved when President Uchtdorf talked about how his family shared the gospel. He said that when their friends and coworkers would ask about how their weekend was, they would skip the usual details like events, activities, and the weather, and share some spiritual experience instead. They would talk about what a speaker shared in sacrament meeting, or a gospel principle that helped them with a challenge. I love that he added “We tried not to be preachy or overbearing.” I struggle with that a lot. I love to share my testimony and talk about the gospel and its application in my life, but I feel that often I come across as preachy and overbearing. This is another of my goals – to sound less preachy and overbearing.

In his closing remarks, President Uchtdorf quotes one of my favorite scriptures, “Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” I want to believe. I want to seek the Lord, so that I can see Him piece by piece in my life. It won’t come all at once, I know, but if I can remember the words of the Primary song, “I’ll keep His commandments, His love will abound, I will seek the Lord early and He will be found” – I know that I will find him.

Do you seek the Lord? How do you recognize the promptings that you receive? Have you had a prayer answered by the service of others? Have you been the answer to someone’s prayer by your actions? Do you share the gospel with those around you? How do you try not to be preachy and overbearing? Have you found the Lord?

Find more great comments on President Uchtdorf’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity: