High Time

I was studying the Daughters in My Kingdom book this past week, anxiously reading so that I can finish it in time for the General Relief Society meeting on September 29. I was reading in Chapter 4 and the book started describing how the women of the Church boldly defended the practice of polygamy (the irony of that is not lost on me – especially given the amount of discomfort and desire to explain it away by women – and men – of the Church today). The book describes how the United States government passed legislation banning polygamy due to the opinion of the rest of society that Mormon women were degraded and abused under the law of polygamy. In January 1870, a group of Latter-day Saint women decided to speak to the world – for themselves – and let them know what active, faithful Latter-day Saint women were really like.

Image Credit: Daughters in My Kingdom p. 44

Eliza R. Snow said of the occasion:

“It was high time [to] rise up in the dignity of our calling and speak for ourselves. . . . The world does not know us, and truth and justice to our brethren and to ourselves demands us to speak. . . . We are not inferior to the ladies of the world, and we do not want to appear so.”

I have felt in the past several months that the world does not understand Mormon women. The world still thinks that Mormon women are oppressed, somehow treated as less than men in our Church, because we aren’t ordained to priesthood offices, and because a woman will never be The Prophet. And most of the people who seem to speak about what faithful Mormon want are not, in fact, faithful Mormon women.

Two cases to illustrate my point:

One of the most vocal Mormon women about the inequalities and injustices that Mormon women face is a woman who of her own choice (so she says) has never been through the temple, has never experienced the endowment of priesthood power given freely in the temple ordinances – and then vehemently argues that women should be ordained to priesthood offices in the Church (and that the Church should embrace same-gender marriage, among other things).

Recently, on the Mormon in America primetime special on NBC, the person they chose to interview about the temple was a Mormon woman who had left the Church and had never been through the temple – again, never been endowed with the knowledge and priesthood power that comes from the ordinances and covenants made in the Holy temple.

The loudest voices these days are women (and men) who criticize Church leaders, clamor for “change” in the Church structure, and describe most faithful saints as disillusioned, unintellectual, or somehow brainwashed. If you really knew anything, you would know that the Church needs some serious change to occur before it is actually the true Church. Oh, but the gospel is true. (says these people)

I have been feeling an increased urgency to stand up and speak out. To be louder than the dissenting voices. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she made the observation that most women in the Church are not like the women (and men) who are the loudest voices of the Church. As blogger SilverRain put it recently,

“In this dichotomy [perpetuated by the loudest voices], there are two groups of women in the Church: those who see a problem with the way women are utilized and heard in the Church, have likely been adversely affected by it, and who therefore choose to “agitate for change;” and those who have never felt the pain a male-only Priesthood can bring to women, who don’t question the authority, and who therefore urge women to, essentially, “sit down and shut up” about it.

But there is another group, of women who have likely been mistreated or misunderstood by a member of the male-only priesthood in the past, or of women who have never been hurt but have still pondered these issues deeply, who would like to see hearts change, but who believe that the male-only Priesthood structure is in place at the will of the Lord, and who support the Lord’s authority structure and the Lord’s established methods for any change that will come.”

In my experience, the largest group is the third group that SilverRain points out. Also, in my experience, the most silent group is that third group. They are the women who are not writing inflammatory blog posts. Rather, they are writing stories of spiritual inspiration in their journals for their posterity who have been born in the covenant. They are not openly criticizing Church leaders or policies on very public news websites, newspapers, and news channels. Rather, they are silently sustaining those Church leaders by magnifying their callings, providing compassionate service in their wards and branches, and instructing one another in the doctrines of the gospel. They are not fighting for same-sex marriage, but rather they are ardently defending the family within the walls of their own homes, shunning pornography, protecting their children from the influences of the world, studying the scriptures, and praying with their families. They may be silent, but from what I have seen they are strong.

Image Credit: LDS Church News

We cannot be silent any longer. It is “high time [to] rise up in the dignity of our calling and speak for ourselves. . . . The world does not know us, and truth and justice to our brethren and to ourselves demands us to speak. . . . We are not inferior to the ladies [of the Church who speak out], and we do not want to appear so.”

Women of the Church – you faithful, righteous women. It’s high time to rise up in the dignity of your calling and speak for yourselves. Come join us. Come speak up with us. Come help us show the world what it really means to be a Latter-day Saint woman, a disciple of Christ.

How can you speak up in your circle of influence? How can you expand your circle of influence and be part of a “wide and extensive sphere of action”? Will you rise up and speak for yourself?

Anger Can Lead to Sin

Recently my husband and I have been discussing anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. That is, anger is not an emotion we usually feel just because we are "angry". Think about the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? Did someone do something that hurt you? Were you embarrassed? Were you afraid of something?

Think of a father who is angry with his son or daughter for breaking curfew. There are a few "primary" emotions he might be feeling. One is fear - he is afraid of what might happen to his child if he or she stays out past curfew.
Another is hurt - he may be hurt that his child disobeyed the house rules. This hurt can be a prideful hurt ("I'm the dad, I make the rules and you are going to follow them!") or it can be a humble hurt ("I know the spiritual consequences of disobedience and I thought she knew them, too.")




In 2 Nephi 5:2, Nephi explains that the anger his brothers felt "did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life."

We have to be careful how we deal with our emotions. Anger is almost never the right method of dealing with our emotions. Laman and Lemuel were likely hurt because their brother was more righteous than they were and therefore had more authority than they did. But rather than dealing with their hurt feelings (which were actually caused by pride, rather than by genuine concern for Nephi) constructively, they allowed anger to grow in their hearts until they wanted to kill Nephi.

Now, I am not saying that letting yourself get angry is going to lead you to commit murder, but how many times have you let your anger with your children lead you to yelling or spanking or "unrighteous dominion"? (I only ask because I am very guilty of this)

Also, how often do you see a child get angry and hit or bite or yell or push, etc? I am not saying these children are sinning, because children are innocent until the age of accountability, however, chances are that child is not really angry. The child is most likely hurt, or confused, or hungry, or tired, or afraid. Little children don't always understand how to deal with those emotions; and so they become "angry". It is our job as their parents to teach them how to deal with hard emotions.

And we all know the best teaching tool is our own example.

How do you effectively deal with your primary emotions? Has anger ever led you to sin? What primary emotion most often leads to anger for you?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

“Be Men”

Book of Mormon Papers - a series of posts
containing papers I wrote for a
BYU Religion class my freshman year of college.

(Note: This is one of my favorite papers. Ever since I found out my first son would be a boy I have fretted over how to teach him to be a man. What does it even mean to be a man? Our society has such twisted ideas on what makes a “man” – they don’t usually include being a worthy priesthood holder, serving others, obeying God, and protecting your family. The world is more likely to see a “man” as someone who is “buff”, someone who can “get the ladies” and someone who does whatever he wants to, without regard for anyone else’s needs or feelings. The Lord’s way is not our way (Isaiah 55:9), and is definitely not society’s way. Let’s teach our sons to be men. Godly men.)

Lehi and his family traveled for many years in the wilderness. Near the end of Lehi’s life, he spoke to all of his sons and gave them words of wisdom and admonishment. Lehi spoke to Laman and Lemuel and counseled his sons to be men. What did Lehi mean when he gave his sons this counsel, and how can this counsel be applied to how one lives in today’s world? When Lehi gave this counsel to his sons, he was encouraging them to be strong in the faith and stay true to the gospel of Jesus Christ so that they would be able to receive eternal life and live with their families in glory for eternity. Men and women today can take the same counsel to heart if they desire the blessings promised to those who become men or women of Zion.

Lehi was concerned about the spiritual welfare of his sons, which is seen throughout his life as recorded by Nephi. Along with his father, Nephi tried several times to convince his brothers of the truthfulness and necessity of accepting the gospel. Throughout their journeys in the wilderness, Laman and Lemuel rarely showed the qualities of manhood which were desired of them by their father. Lehi showed his great concern for his sons when he instructed them to “arise out of the dust… and by men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity.” The dying prophet was trying to get his sons to understand what qualities would make them part of Zion – by being “of one heart and one mind, and [dwelling] in righteousness.”(Moses 7:18) To Lehi, being a man meant possessing and developing the qualities of Zion.

Other fathers also counseled their sons to “be men.”(2 Nephi 1:21) On his deathbed, King David of the Old Testament pleaded with Solomon, “Shew thyself a man.”(1 Kings 2:2) David had the same ideas as Lehi on what would make his son a man. A son could become a man if he would “keep charge of the Lord thy God, to walk his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies.”(1 Kings 2:3) These qualities also can be included in the list of those that build Zion.

Laman and Lemuel were further instructed by their father to “put on the armor of righteousness”(2 Nephi 1:23) to escape the chains of Satan. This instruction is explained more fully in Lehi’s discourse to Jacob, his firstborn in the wilderness. Lehi teaches his family, or rather reminds them, of the plan of salvation and the law of the atonement and the Messiah, whereby men are justified. It is by observing the commandments of Christ that Lehi encouraged his sons to be men, and the commandments of Christ begin with the atonement and salvation through Him.

Lehi desired that his sons become men, just as the Father desires that all of His children become men and women, heirs to celestial thrones. Therefore, mankind must “stand fast in the faith… [and] be strong”(1 Corinthians 16:13) and “be of good courage”(2 Samuel 10:12) and be steadfast in keeping the commandments of the Lord. Mankind must choose to heed the counsel of Lehi and other fathers, including that of the Eternal Father, and be determined, be of Zion, “be men.”

How are you teaching your sons to be men, and your daughters to be women? Are we men and women of God? Are we courageous in keeping the commandments – a mark of true manhood and womanhood?

If you haven’t seen the movie Courageous, I can’t recommend it enough! It is an excellent movie, which testifies of the importance of fathers who are godly men, and also testifies of the redeeming power of the Savior’s atonement. Go watch it. You won’t regret it, I promise. It’s even action packed enough to keep your husband’s awake! Here’s the trailer if you need more convincing:

Stand in Holy Places

(find the talk here)

I didn’t get a chance to read this talk this morning, but I was super tired (my wonderful husband surprised me on Saturday with a brand new computer(!) and I spent most of Saturday and Sunday evening trying to get all my photo albums switched over to the new computer) – so I am trying to make up for it now.

I really enjoyed this talk. I am pretty sure that it was one of the first talks our ward Relief Society studied for our Teachings for Our Times lesson.

It’s not hard to see that what President Thomas S. Monson said about the “moral compass of society” is absolutely true.

“Also evolving at a rapid rate has been the moral compass of society. Behaviors which once were considered inappropriate and immoral are now not only tolerated but also viewed by ever so many as acceptable.”

It’s interesting that there are a lot of things that made people uncomfortable decades ago and now are mostly the “norm” – and some of those things are good (interracial marriage, women’s suffrage, etc) and some of those things are bad (views on homosexuality, skewed priorities of mothers, financial miseducation, etc).

“Although the world has changed, the laws of God remain constant.” The bishop of one of my student wards in college drew the two lines as pictured above on a chalkboard during a combined Relief Society and Priesthood meeting. Actually, the first time he drew the lines, the top line ran parallel to the bottom line. He discussed with us how the world’s morality has always been slightly lower than the morality of members of the Church, but how members today are letting their standards fall along with the world – even though our standards are still higher than those of the world. Then he erased the top line and drew a straight line across like the one I have pictured. He then taught us about the constancy of God and how His laws never change, and so our standards should never be lowered. The gap between the standards of the Church and the standards of the world should be growing if the standards of the world are declining.

Most of us probably experience feelings of uncertainty when we think about raising children in today’s society, which is only getting worse and worse. President Monson asks the questions: “Do we wring our hands in despair and wonder how we’ll ever survive in such a world?” His answer is an emphatic “No.” And I echo that sentiment. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives, and we know how to keep our families safe from the storms of the world. President Monson’s message is that the way to keep our families safe is by maintaining a close relationship with our Father in Heaven.

This is something that I frequently “wring my hands” about teaching my children:

“It may appear to you at times that those out in the world are having much more fun than you are. Some of you may feel restricted by the code of conduct to which we in the Church adhere. My brothers and sisters, I declare to you, however, that there is nothing which can bring more joy into our lives or more peace to our souls than the Spirit which can come to us as we follow the Savior and keep the commandments. That Spirit cannot be present at the kinds of activities in which so much of the world participates.”

I am always concerned that my children will feel this way – that the laws of God are restrictive. I want to teach them that obedience to God’s laws brings “more joy into our lives [and] more peace to our souls”.

Just tonight I had a conversation with my four year old, who is having a really hard time learning how to obey rules. He tells me all the time that he wishes there were “no rules” and that he could just do “whatever [he] want[s]” to do. We talked about how kites fly by being held by a string, and that if we let go of the string, the kite will fall down to the ground. Then we talked about how following God’s rules helps us feel the Spirit and how obeying our parents keeps us safe, and how obeying the rules to a game helps us have more fun.

I hope that bedtime conversation will have an impact on him. I know that just one conversation will not be enough – I will have to show him by my obedience to God’s laws, and other important “rules” and we will talk about this concept frequently. I still can’t help but worry about him.

On a concluding note, I have to say that I wish I could say that “not a day has gone by that I have not communicated with my Father in Heaven through prayer.” I want to make a goal to communicate with my Father in Heaven every day.

How do you keep your family safe in this morally declining world? How often do you communicate with your Heavenly Father?

Perfect Love Casteth Out All Fear

(find the talk here)

I love to share the gospel. I enjoy posting links to Mormon Messages and “I’m a Mormon” ads on my personal Facebook page. I love to talk to people about Christ, and the scriptures.

Maybe it’s because I was raised in the Evangelical south, maybe it’s because my father is a convert, maybe it’s because I am not a very private person and I really like to talk. Whatever the reason, I have rarely experienced fear in talking about the gospel.

I was really grateful for Elder L. Tom Perry’s talk at General Conference. He seemed to lay out – in no uncertain terms – how we should be sharing the gospel.

“First, we must be bold in our declaration of Jesus Christ.”

Growing up I had a lot of really close friends who were very religious Christians, and I think that it was their example of testifying of Christ that I follow in being “bold” in my declaration of Jesus Christ. My Evangelical Christian friends were always proclaiming Christ (both with their actions and with their words). I specifically remember in high school participating in “See You at the Pole” where a group of students came early to school and joined hands around the flagpole in front of our public school and took turns praying, whether in our hearts or out loud. It was a really interesting experience for me, since I was one of only six LDS students at my school (my younger sister being another of the six). I was so impressed that so many students were unashamed to be there, praying in front of the school. Certainly I am sure there were students there who were maybe there to “be seen” – but I knew several of the students there personally, and I knew that they had great faith in Christ, and believed in God.

“We declare our belief in Jesus Christ and accept Him as our Savior. He willbless us and guide us in all of our efforts. As we labor here in mortality,He will strengthen us and bring us peace in time of trials. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints walk by faith in Him whose Church it is.”

“Second, be righteous examples to others.”

Again, growing up, I was able to join with the righteous example of my fellow Christians, even though they were of other faiths. My friends used clean language, they kept themselves morally pure, they were quick to help and serve, they were honest, trustworthy, responsible teenagers. They lived the gospel of Jesus Christ. They truly acted as Jesus would have them act.

I have noticed the scripture from 1 Timothy 4:12 has been quoted several times in the last two or three conferences. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we need to let our lives be proof of our faith in Jesus Christ.

My sister and I babysat a lot when we were younger. Usually we would tend for the same families – whoever was available would take the job. We mostly worked for families in the ward. One summer, however, I had a daily job tending for one of my dad’s coworkers, and my sister occasionally helped out. They also had a friend who we would occasionally sit for. This friend emailed my dad one day and said, “Those girls are so happy and cheerful, and so responsible! What’s their secret?” or something (I’m paraphrasing). We were able to share with that family that we are so happy because of our knowledge of the gospel. We were also able to share with them the doctrine of eternal families. They had an older daughter who had passed away several years before we met them, and we gave them pamphlets and the video “The Road Home.”

Jocelyn blogged about this exact thing the other day - "Why Mormons Smile So Much”. If we have a testimony of Christ and have really received the Spirit, we can’t help but smile! The gospel is a “plan of happiness” – hence the smiling.

“Next, speak up about the Church.”

I was blessed to be able to speak freely about religion with my friends. They didn’t fully understand the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, and I was probably not very good at explaining things for them. However, our conversations were usually “two way” – as Elder Perry has suggested they be, “When our professional and personal associates inquire about our religious beliefs, they are inviting us to share who we are and what we believe…Your associates are not inviting you to teach, preach, expound, or exhort. Engage them in a two-way conversation—share something about your religious beliefs but also ask them about their beliefs. Gauge the level of interest by the questions they ask. If they are asking a lot of questions, focus the conversation on answering those questions. Always remember that it is better for them to ask than for you to tell.”

I think that many people are uncomfortable talking to Mormons about their religion because they are worried that we’re going to go all “missionary” on them. If we would simply answer their questions and even ask questions about their faith, we would be able to be much more effective in sharing the gospel. I had a recent experience where I was able to ask question about Job’s Daughters, a program sponsored by the Free Masons that is similar to Boy Scouts. It was a really great opportunity to get to know more about what my friend was involved in, spiritually. We never talked much about the Church, since I was the one asking questions about a program she participated in, but showing interest in the beliefs of another person can build bridges that they may feel comfortable crossing in the future. This friend happens to know more about the Church than your average person, but perhaps now she will come to me when she has questions about the Church, and I can answer them for her.

If you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and you haven’t already, I encourage you to go to Mormon.org and create your profile (you will need your membership number which is on your temple recommend, or you can get it from your ward membership clerk). If you aren’t a member, I encourage you to go to Mormon.org and browse through the profiles of other members there, and the answers to FAQs posted on the site by members of the Church.

I recommend Elder Perry’s talk as required reading material for every member of the Church – especially those who are either afraid to share the gospel, or those who scare people off when they are trying to share the gospel.

How do you share the gospel with your friends? Do you have a two-way conversation about faith and religion? Do you ask your friends questions about their faith? Are you an “example of the believers”? How do you declare Jesus Christ?

Find more insight on this talk (and others) over at
Diapers and Divinity’s General Conference Book Club