While my son, Ryan, is on his mission, I decided to study Preach My Gospel to help me connect with him and what he is learning and teaching. The last few weeks I have been focusing on the introduction in Chapter 3, the focus is on studying and teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I was studying this lesson, I felt impressed to think about these principles in Preach My Gospel in terms of my role as a mother with respect to my children. As I study the gospel, the Spirit will guide my words and actions as I teach my children. I always struggle to know what best to say or do when it comes to teaching my children about the gospel. I don’t want them to feel like my love or acceptance of them is in any way dependent on their acceptance of the gospel - but at the same time, I want to make sure they understand, in no uncertain terms, that I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. And I want them to know that I believe living the gospel will bring them happiness, even if they don’t believe that.
On the Subject of Extending Invitations
I believe in the power of extending invitations. I know that when people are invited, they feel included. But also, I worry that extending invitations to my children may make them feel like I am trying to coerce or manipulate them. The only thing I want them to feel in an invitation is my love for them.
On the Subject of Individual
Needs The counsel in Preach My Gospel is to prepare lessons based on the individual needs of the people you are teaching. I believe this principle holds for parenting as well. When I think of my children, I think of the very unique personalities, experience, and needs each of them have. I want to ensure that I am preparing myself to teach and guide them in their very unique circumstances, and as the individual child of God they are. These questions from the Preach My Gospel manual were very helpful, and I am going to restate them for myself as a parent:
- What invitation will I extend to help my child build faith in Christ and make progress? Consider my child’s progress, situation, and needs.
- What doctrine and principles will help my child keep the commitment I have invited them to make? I think it is important for me to understand the doctrine and principles associated with the invitations I am extending to my children. Before extending the invitations, I need to be sure that I understand what I am asking them to do.
- How will I help my child learn the doctrine? In order to teach the doctrine, I have to know the doctrine, and then make a plan for how to teach it to them. Will it be in a sit down lesson? Can this just be a conversation as I walk? I should plan the questions I will ask them, like I planned a lesson when I was a teacher. And as always, seek the Spirit to guide and help me.
- What blessings has God promised for accepting and keeping commitments? More of the things that I have to know before I can teach my children. Being able to testify to my children seems like it will be important, and knowing the blessings associated with the invitations will help me be able to testify to them.
- Which family members or friends can help teach and support my children? I feel like I can be more explicit in this by directly recruiting friends and family members to support my children. I think that I do this generally, but I maybe am not specific enough about the help and support my child may need.
- What can I do to help my children keep their commitments after they leave home? This is a hard one, but following up with daily contact can help, like is recommended to missionaries. Letting them vent or tell me how things are going and what their struggles are can help them feel heard and maybe that will help them make the commitments?
- How can I better help my children next time? Evaluating myself as a mother is not something I have a hard time with, but I think making that reflection a little more targeted could be helpful. Is my child’s faith in Jesus Christ growing?
Teaching By the Spirit
I have always been taught that the Spirit is the true teacher. It is my job as a mother to create the environment and impart the knowledge for gospel learning, but at the end of the day it is up to my children to choose what they will decide to follow.
The Preach My Gospel guide talks about memorization and how it is not necessary to memorize the lessons to teach them, but that there is a benefit in memorizing scriptures. I have always enjoyed having scriptures memorized. I think that memorizing scriptures can help Heavenly Father give us revelation, by directing our minds to scriptures that we have read.
Individual Needs
“Which lesson you teach, when you teach it, and how much time you give to it are best determined by the needs of the person you are teaching and the guidance of the Spirit.” I have a cornucopia of children. Each child is incredibly unique, with their own experience, perspectives, needs, and challenges. As I have tried to stay close to Heavenly Father and let Him guide me in my parenting, I have been able to teach my children based on their individual needs. “The right invitation at the right time can prompt people to do things that will build their faith.” I think this is the thing I try to focus on the most. I don’t always get it right - I am sure I miss things that God would have me do, but any time I am prompted to share something with my children or reach out to them, I try to do so.
What are We Supposed to teach?
- According to Mosiah 18:18-20, “teach them concerning the things pertaining to the kingdom of God… nothing save it were repentance and faith on the Lord, who had redeemed his people.”
- “sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power” - Heavenly Father will give us the power to teach our children as we seek to become sanctified. I want to study more about how become stanctified.
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