The Sacred Mother

Recently I was chatting with a neighbor who dropped by to introduce herself. She is a young mother, like me, and had an adorable 15-month old baby girl. Our children played for a while, during which time my new friend and I got acquainted. As my new friend and her daughter got ready to leave, I mentioned to my new friend that I would really like to get to know more of the moms in the ward. She mentioned to me that she had been trying to get a play group together with the other moms, but she had realized that most of the moms with similar aged children were all working mothers. We both exchanged comments about how odd that seemed to us, since we live in a neighborhood of mostly established families – not families with husbands going to school or unemployed, but regular, mostly-well-employed, regular size families. In fact, my new friend had mentioned that her husband was currently in school, and yet she stayed home.

Later I mentioned this fact to my husband – that so many LDS mothers in our ward were working mothers. Most of whom work full time. My husband said something that hit me in the gut – “You and your friend are a rare find these days.” Really? In a neighborhood where our ward is less than a square mile, we are one of probably a hand full of stay-at-home moms?

I understand that there are good reasons for mothers joining the workforce, but I have a hard time believing that every one of these mothers has a good reason.

I have been reading the book American Grace (which I highly recommend) and was appalled to see that during the 1980s, religious women (read the book to find this specific definition of “religious” – but I think the definition is fitting) moved into the workplace at the same rate as secular women. At the turn of the century, religious women were working mothers at a higher rate than secular women had been working mothers at the beginning of the 1980s. This shocked me. I thought for sure as religious women, we would be more likely to hold staunchly to our beliefs that the mother is vital in the home. The most depressing statistic I found was how fast the idea became “old” (even among religious women) that mothers in the workplace had no negative effect on children. What a horrible untruth! As I said earlier, I know that there are good reasons for mothers to need to be in the work place, however I do not think, even under the best of circumstances and the most righteous of decisions, children are not affected negatively by their mothers being in the workplace. It is always ideal for mothers to be home with their children. In my opinion, the times when it is the least bad for the children is when the mothers readily and heart-breakingly admit that it would be better for their children if they were able to stay home with the children. When mothers start feeding themselves lies about their responsibility and sacred calling as mothers, they become disillusioned and are less likely to make (if able) the sacrifices necessary to stay at home with their children.

In one of the articles I have been reading, the author tells a story of a woman who was a working mother, and when working mothers were attacked in conversation, “she spoke up defensively, citing her need for intellectual stimulation, association with other educated adults, and the daily reassurance and satisfaction of a job well done.” This is exactly what I was talking about – none of these reasons are even close to good ones why a mother should be working outside the home – especially not full time. This mother goes on to talk about how she eventually realized the importance of her staying at home with her children, and stayed at home with her children.

My husband and I have discussed this at length, and I have constantly gone back and forth and back and forth between working and staying at home. I am gaining a testimony of the importance of my constant presence at home with my children. We have decided that unless we are unable to provide basic necessities for our family (very  basic – for example, bread, milk, fruits and vegetables – not steaks and hamburgers and dinners out and fancy meals) I will stay at home with the children. I will probably continue to tutor math occasionally, and I teach a few piano lessons in my home, but neither of these endeavors takes me away from my children – the math tutoring I do in the evenings after they are asleep, and the piano teaching I do in a group lesson which involves my children anyway. We will drastically cut our lifestyle before we send mother (me) back to work. Unfortunately, in society today – even among faithful Latter Day Saints – people are not willing to give up lifestyle choices simply to preserve the most sacred duty of their mother. If we are to raise up a family to the Lord, we know that we must do everything in our power to keep me at home, in the home.

Which brings me to my final point – that mothers who are in the home should learn to enjoy the sanctity of their job – and should learn to feel as if they have “intellectual stimulation, association with other educated adults, and the daily reassurance and satisfaction of a job well done.” If we as mothers are educated, and spend time with other mothers, we will be able to associate with other educated adults. Even if they are not formally educated, most mothers have the education of life. Mothers who read are even more educated, and most mothers I have met are avid readers. Caring for my children is the most intellectually stimulating (and emotionally exhausting) job I have ever done. I am constantly on my toes, constantly analyzing situations and circumstances to create a loving, spiritual atmosphere in our home. And trust me, I use every ounce of my college degree (in Math!) to be a mother.

It is interesting that most of the talks I read this weekend about motherhood were from the 1980s. Motherhood was under such attack back then, but really nothing has changed much. Motherhood is still under attack, and now it is under attack even among the ranks of otherwise faithful Latter Day Saints.

The most uplifting talk for me to read was this talk about spending quality and quantity time with your children. Perhaps one of my favorite quotes from this talk is this:

“These are quantity-time lessons that nobody can teach a child as well as a full-time mother. Seeing his mother do these things is much more significant to him than seeing a babysitter do exactly the same things.”

This article has helped me realize that just by being home with my children I am being a better mother than if I had chosen to be in the work place. I have been making myself crazy in the past few years because I feel pressure for every waking moment with my children to be “quality” time with them – but how blessed am I! Because I have so much quantity time with my children, really I do not need to spend every waking moment in quality time. There can (and should) be moments of quality time with each child each day, but I do not need to feel guilty for washing the dishes and doing the chores when my children are awake because they are learning from watching me (and at times helping me with these various household activities).

“As I am going about routine activities, my preschoolers, little as they are, are learning that a neat house does not appear by waving a wand. They are learning that playthings have a place where they belong and that among mommy’s priorities are things like cushions on the couch and not on the floor, and dirty clothes put in the laundry basket and not dumped where they were taken off. Apparently these are not easy lessons to learn, judging by the daily necessity to teach them all over again. But I am convinced that the baby trotting after me as I vacuum is gradually developing a preference for cleanliness.…

Quantity time is really the child’s glimpse into the life of his parent as a person, the person who existed before the child himself was born, and who will continue to grow and develop after the child has moved into independence.”

I really recommend this article as a good read to any mother, especially mothers who stay home with their children.

I have a testimony that it is more important for children to be raised at home with their mother than it is for them to have anything else other than maybe food, shelter, and clothing – but only the MOST basic of these things. If your family can fit in a $150,000 home, then mother needing to work to pay for a $300,000 mortgage is not the “necessities” of life. Mother needing to work to pay for rent or mortgage in a home barely big enough to house the family, that is a necessity. If your family can eat beans and rice and other cheap foods, then mother needing to work so that the family can go out to eat is not the necessities of life. I urge anyone who is thinking about sending mother to work look first at where they can cut expenses, where they can cut back, where they can move, what they can sell, etc before they make such a serious decision. I urge those mothers who do work to do the same – look at your budget, curb your spending, cut as many costs as possible. Get rid of cable television, stop eating out, stop buying new expensive clothes. Bring mother home. It is sickening to think that people would trade mother at home for anything other than the very basic necessities of life.

There is no other job as vital to life and spiritual survival than that of being at home.

What have you studied to help you make this decision? Have there been times in your life where you had to work in order for there to be a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your bellies? Have you worked when you didn’t really need to? Do you trade mother at home for the “comforts” of life? Or do you value to the sanctity of mother and sacrifice some worldly comforts for the immense blessing of having mother in the home?

Talks I studied:
Working Double Time: The Working Mother’s Dilemma by Jan Underwood Pinborough
A View of the Eighties: What It Means to Be a Latter-day Saint Woman Today by Mary Alice Campbell
Mom – At Home by Derin Head Rodriguez
Giving Children Quantity and Quality Time by Beppie Harrison
Mothers Who Know by Julie B. Beck
To the Mothers in Zion by President Ezra Taft Benson

Study Together

My husband and I like to study gospel topics together, but we’re not always good at it, and we don’t always study the same material at the same time, so our discussions don’t always have the breadth and depth they could have. So we have come up with a new system. For our date nights, we already have a good system in place – we rotate weeks for the date planning. One week, he picks the date, finds a sitter, and makes all the plans, and the next week it’s my turn. So we decided that we’d do the same thing for our gospel study together, and the person not planning the date would pick the topic for gospel study.

We don’t have a lot of time during the week to study together, since my husband leaves for work early and by the evening we’re just about able to have family scriptures and family prayer and then hit the sack, so we have decided that Sunday afternoons when the kids are napping would be the ideal time for us to have a really in depth gospel discussion. During the week, we study individually (I have more time during the morning and afternoon to study, and my husband has more time in the evenings). We email our finds (articles, talks, scripture references) to each other so that individually we can be studying the same things. Then when we get together on Sunday, we can have an intelligent discussion about the things we have studied.

This week is the first week we’ll actually do it, and since this Sunday is Easter Sunday we decided to pick the topic of Easter.

How do you study with your spouse? Do you do some kind of companionship study? Do you both have the same amount of time to study?

The Best Night of the Week

Over at Women in the Scriptures, Heather has been running  a series about what Family Home Evening looks like in different families. She has had guest posts from several different ladies, and I have really enjoyed reading them. As a conclusion to her series, she has invited her readers to write about family home evening in their home, and link up on her blog.

Family Home Evening for us is a time for us to be together, sing (we are a very musical family) and talk about the gospel. Our oldest just started Primary this year, so we’ve been trying to rehash some of the things he is learning there.

Structure. Our Family Home Evening is on Monday nights, usually after dinner. Our Papai welcomes everybody to Family Home Evening “Bem vindo ao Noite de Familiar.” This is when you’ll notice that there is something different about our Family Home Evening. We have FHE in Portuguese. Papai speaks Portuguese in our home, and our kids speak Portuguese, and we attend a Portuguese speaking ward. We even sing the Primary songs in Portuguese. If I teach the lesson, I usually teach in English, since my Portuguese isn’t great – but sometimes I’ll try to say phrases or words in Portuguese.

Papai welcomes us to family home evening, then we sing an opening song (usually from the Primary song book, and usually the song that we are learning that month in Primary – I happen to be the Primary pianist, so I always know what’s going on in Primary). Then we have an opening prayer. Then either Papai or myself give the lesson. So far Papai and I have just switched off giving (really simple) lessons. They are either from the Nursery Manual, or the Sharing Time Outline. A lot of times we will try to do the same lesson that was taught the day before in Primary, just to solidify the doctrine and concepts for our oldest. Other times, we’ll just talk about something that we think is important. Before General Conference, we talked about how the Prophets speak for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Then we played the Prophet Matching Game (see picture above) and now our oldest knows a lot of the apostles and prophets when he sees them. I think knowing their names made General Conference a lot more meaningful for him, because he already knew them.

After the lesson, we sometimes have an activity, usually it is coloring something, or sometimes it will be playing a game, or playing with toys. Then we have scriptures and family prayer, and then it is off to bed for our little ones.

Tonight for FHE we are actually making a Family Home Evening chart (since our oldest is 4 and we hope to be adding to our family soon through adopting teens, we figured it is about time we have one). So basically our whole FHE is going to change, but not the important things.

 

Our youngest is just two, and she doesn’t sit still for really anything. Our oldest is four and he is actually very respectful and even adds to the conversation. Some days are better than others, but we try to always have Family Home Evening, even if it’s only two minutes long!

What does Family Home Evening look like in YOUR home? Go over to Heather’s blog and link up!

How Great Shall Be Your Joy

Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine who was recently baptized into another church. In the dream, he came to me and was very concerned that he was missing something. He kept telling me “But what if I am missing something?”

He is missing something, and I need to have the courage to show him what he is missing.

So this morning I went to LDS.org and chose “Study by Topic” and clicked on Missionary Work. Listed among the extra resources was an article by President Monson from back in the 90s. He told a story about sitting next to a woman on a plan, and that eventually he “mustered up [his] courage” to talk to her about the Church. If President Monson, who has been an apostle since he was 36, and has been the President of the Church for the last several years, once upon a time had to muster up courage to talk to people about the gospel, I suddenly don’t feel quite as bad for needing to do the same!

I love the scripture above from Doctrine & Covenants section 18. It has long been one of my favorites. For a long time I felt bad that I didn’t serve a mission, but as I have grown in motherhood, I realize that mothering is one of the most divine missions. I have the opportunity to bring souls into this world and bring them unto Christ. Children are born innocent, but they are not born with all of the saving ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As they grow, they need to be prepared to learn about the gospel, gain their own testimony, and receive those ordinances – and that is my job, as their mother. I am comforted that the Lord sees my work of raising and nuturing my own children as significant.

However, that does not mean that I get to rest from the labors of sharing the gospel with others. Paul taught us that we should “be … an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” And Elder Stapley (a Latter-Day Apostle) quoted Paul, who said, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation.” To which Elder Stapley added, “If we are not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, then we should not be ashamed to live it. And if we are not ashamed to live it, then we should not be ashamed to share it.”

And the Lord himself has said, “But with some I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths … because of the fear of man. Wo unto such, for mine anger is kindled against them.” So I do have a responsibility to share the gospel with everyone, really. And especially with those who seek it. I know that I can find those who seek the gospel by praying for guidance from the Lord through His Holy Spirit. He will guide me to those who are seeking the truth, and I believe He does just that.

“And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”
Doctrine & Covenants 84:88

I know that the Lord will help me share His gospel. Why wouldn’t He? He has said, “For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are kept from the truth because they know not where to find it” (emphasis added). I know that this is true. I think that many people who would find converts to their church are not being completely deceptive – they truly believe that the members of their congregations and churches are saved. I think that many join other Churches because it feels better than nothing, but that righteous seekers of truth will indeed feel the truthfulness of the fullness of Christ’s gospel when they find it – and it is our job to bring it to them, or bring them to the gospel.

How do you share the gospel? Are you an “example of the believers”? Do you open your mouth? Are you ashamed of the gospel of Christ? Or do you share your testimony freely with those around you?

Church Handbook 2: Introduction

If you haven’t had a chance to look over the new Handbook of Instruction, it is readily available online here, and I think it is important that all of us as members of the Church (regardless of our callings) study its contents.

The introduction states that the purpose of the handbook is to help leaders understand their duties in the Church, but I think that as members of the Church we can also learn our duties as members by studying this handbook, not to mention prepare ourselves for opportunities to serve, since the handbook describes the responsibilities for every calling in a ward or branch.

The introduction quotes Doctrine & Covenants 107:99 “Let every man learn his duty, and to act in the office in which he is appointed, in all diligence.” This is the opening line of the handbook, and I think it is very appropriate. By learning our duty, we can act in all diligence.

I also reviewed Elder Dallin H. Oak’s talk at the worldwide leadership training broadcast (find it here). He suggests that we read the first three chapters of the Handbook – Chapter 1: Families and the Church in God’s Plan, Chapter 2: Priesthood Principles, and Chapter 3: Leadership in the Church of Jesus Christ. Elder Oaks states, "They are doctrinally based on the scriptures. They are extremely important.” Of the rest of the handbook, Elder Oaks reminds us that “handbooks do not have the same standing as the scriptures” but quotes President Thomas S. Monson who teaches us that “There is safety in the handbooks.”

I am looking forward to studying the Handbook in more depth this year. Hopefully my study will  lead me to other topics that I can study as well. I am also going to start reading Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage (again) and include that as part of my study, along with a more thorough study of the scriptures.

I may even start taking the Women in the Scriptures challenge… we’ll see.

What things do you include in your scripture study? Do you simply read and study as you go, or do you pick out a specific topic? Or try to find an answer to a specific question that you have?

Further Light and Knowledge

These are the things that I would like to study more because of what I heard at General Conference. I’m writing them down here, because this is most likely where I will write about the things I study:

Study the direction to “be ye an example of the believers.”

Study covenants, covenant making and keeping, and Jesus Christ and covenants.

Learn more about the law of consecration, the United Order, and the Church welfare program.

Study the word “saint” and the history of the name of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Study about love and charity.

What I am Going to Do

These are the things that I decided to do while listening to General Conference. Goals I have made, new habits I want to form, areas of my life that I want to perfect.

- Wear our Sunday best on the Sabbath day to make sure we are acting in a manner acceptable to the Lord on His day. (this made me think of an article I read over at one my my favorite blogs)
-We need to be more purposeful, deliberate, and particular about the things we do on the Sabbath day.
-We need to sit down and decide what WE believe about and do on the Sabbath.
-We should be more like little children.
-Study covenant making/keeping.
-Give more to the poor and needy through the Church welfare program.
-spend less than we earn so that we can serve others
-SEARCH OUT THE POOR! and needy
-Meet both the temporal and spiritual needs of those we serve.
-I will respond promptly to the whisperings of the Spirit
-TALK about the gospel and gospel truths ALL THE TIME!
-Be the answer to someone’s prayer.
-Remember when it feels like I can’t cope with my trials, the means that Heavenly Father has something for me to learn and grow in that area.
-follow welfare principles more perfectly – be more thrifty, spend MUCH less than we make.
-do my visiting teaching!
-be less judgmental of the poor and needy. Give to the poor and needy regardless of why they are poor or needy.
-work harder to sustain our family so that we can help provide for others.
-give all that we have to those who need it more than we do.
-take care of those in need and listen to the promptings of the Spirit so that we can be the answer to the prayers of others
-keep on keeping on
-attend the temple more often
-when I am facing trials and tribulation, I will think about the covenants I have made in the temple.
-be more willing to give and not think of myself
-seek to serve others; pray for opportunities to ease the burdens of others.
-be willing to accept and conform to divine correction.
-do not resist or resent chastening. Look at it as an opportunity to repent and put on the divine nature.
-pray for Heavenly Father’s love inspired correction.
-be more prompt in praying our tithing.
-I will do more and be more like the Savior Jesus Christ
-ask the child what they learned from the misbehavior
-pray for Christ-like attributes for myself and for my children.
-I will refer to the Church by it’s full name all the time and will refer to myself and members of the Church as Latter Day Saints.
-I will BECOME a Saint – live worth of being referred to as a Latter Day Saint.
-consecrate my life to fulfill my callings and to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ.
-have faith and stamina like President Monson
-lighten the load of our prophet President Monson and help bear his burden.

The Instruction I heard at General Conference

These are the things that I heard at General Conference. Like I said, sometimes they are not the same as what the speakers actually said, but they are what I heard through the Spirit of the Lord.

Why do we worship on Sunday? Our attitudes and actions follow our dress. If we dress in our Sunday best on the Sabbath day, we will be on our Sunday best behavior.

Let us act on the Sabbath in a manner that would call down the blessings of heaven.

Children are the greatest example.

When little children come to us, they are thirsty for the gospel, eager to learn, and willing to be righteous.

Children are untarnished by the world.

“Behold your little ones.”

Followers of Christ are loving. Followers of Christ make and keep covenants. Following Christ may mean forsaking many things of the world. The Lord Jesus Christ made covenants with Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ needed baptism because He needed to make covenants with Heavenly Father that he would always remember Him and follow Him.

The power of our covenants is greater than any worldly trial or temptation.

Pain brings you an opportunity to ponder. Pain is everywhere in this mortal experience – sometimes it is simply because this is a temporal experience, sometimes because of the actions of others, sometimes because of our own actions.

There is relief for ANY and ALL pain – through Jesus Christ our Savior from our Father in Heaven.

Jesus Christ suffered ALL things so that He could understand us.

He could have known how to succor us by Revelation, but He chose to suffer all things so that He could understand us.

The United order = the Church’s welfare program.

When we work together, we build spiritual bonds.

Don’t miss out on collecting the little flecks because you are waiting for large nuggets.

The Spirit speaks to us in diverse ways.

God does notice us, and is mindful of us, but it is often through other people that He meets our needs.

The Lord sometimes reveals things to us that are for us only, but He entrusts us with a testimony of truth that we are to share with those around us.

The most effective way to share the gospel is through example.

“Preach the gospel at all times; if necessary, use words.”

This earth life is the perfect setting to experience and pass trials. Sometimes it seems that our trials are focused on the part of our lives in which we have the least ability to cope.

Being good is not enough. We want to be like the Savior.

It is our job as ward members to seek out those in our ward who are poor and needy.

Men and women work in a joint effort to serve the poor and needy.

The widow’s mite.

No man can receive the Holy Ghost without receiving revelation.

Light from a light switch vs. light from a sunrise. The sunrise pattern of revelation is more common in our lives.

As we honor our covenants and keep the commandments, we will gain confidence in the presence of the Lord.

The temple should fill us with the Spirit and with the covenants we have made there.

As we remember the covenants we have made in the temple, we will be better able to withstand the trials of this life.

A good marriage makes good children.

Heavenly Father is a God of high expectations. “Be ye therefore perfect.”

Divine chastening, repentance, and redirect our course. Divine chastening should give us cause to rejoice because it means we are worth correcting. The experience of chastening gives us more opportunity to help us put on the divine nature.

Parents and can must chasten their children.

Doctrine & Covenants – “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost”

One who does not chasten when he is in a position to do so is thinking only of himself.

Will a man rob God? In tithes and offerings.

The Lord’s richest blessings are spiritual – family, friends, and the gospel.

To be or not to be? What manner of me ought ye to be? Even as I am. To do without being is hypocrisy, to be without doing is void. Faith without works is dead.

Being is more important than doing. You can’t put a check mark on the “being.”

The name of the Church was not chosen by man, but was given by God. We are not “Mormons” – we are “Latter Day Saints”

The way is narrow and the path is laid strait.

God not only lives but HE SPEAKS!

General Conference is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

The summit of gospel discipleship is be ye therefore perfect.

One way or another, the Lord will have His voice heard.

How I Learn from General Conference

What a wonderful conference! I really enjoy listening to the conference talks, and this weekend was no different. In fact, there are some talks that I am anxious to listen to again, and read as soon as the transcripts are available (which will be next Tuesday, according to LDS.org). I definitely can’t wait that long to listen to my absolute favorite talk, which ironically did not come from one of the apostles. It was a talk  by Elder Lynn G. Robbins of one of the quorums of the seventy, and it was perfect. If you missed it, I encourage you to listen to it. You can find it here.

I make three “lists” as I listen to or watch General Conference. They aren’t really separate lists, I just write things down in a little notebook. But I have developed little symbols to help me remember what goes on which list. The first symbol I have is a star. I draw a star when I am writing down the instruction I hear from the brethren. This is usually word for word what they say, although I have been known to write something down, and later when I listen, I can’t find that snippet of information anywhere. Usually, that means I was listening to the Spirit speak to me at that moment. The other symbol I have is an arrow. I draw an arrow when I am writing down what action I am going to take because of what I heard. The third list are things I usually write up in the heading of the note pages – and they are usually topics that I would like to study further in my own personal study.

I will post my three lists here in this order:

- the instruction I heard
- what I am going to do about it
- topics for further study

The Priesthood of Aaron

(find the talk here)

I am a woman, and so I will not hold the Priesthood of Aaron (or the Melchizedek Priesthood) but as a woman, I am charged with a great responsibility to prepare my sons to receive the Priesthood of Aaron, and then the Melchizedek Priesthood, and to prepare my daughters to honor the Priesthood and prepare to receive the blessings of those same Priesthoods.

In his talk, Elder L. Tom Perry gave this charge to parents:

Parents of these magnificent young men and women, we charge you with the sacred responsibility of teaching your children the doctrines of the holy priesthood. Your children must learn at an early age of the blessing of having the Lord’s eternal priesthood and what they must do individually to qualify for these blessings.

Whenever I hear or read talks that teach about preparing for the Priesthood, I am reminded of my responsibility to teach my children. I learned at a very young age the importance of the Priesthood. My father was an example of a worthy Priesthood holder, and my mother was always supportive of the Priesthood in our home. I had two older brothers who I watched receive both the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood, as well as advance in most offices of the Priesthood.

This legacy of Priesthood preparation is one that I am anxious to pass on to my children. We are teaching them about the Priesthood when we give and receive Priesthood blessings, when we learn about prophets, and when we learn about the offices of the Priesthood.

Elder Perry listed four lessons that youth should learn to prepare them for the Priesthood. They were “to keep [their bodies] healthy and clean, develop [their minds] and become wise, be strong and resist temptation in a world filled with it, and trust in the Lord, especially when [they] need His protection.”

Elder Perry taught his grandson these lessons through the scripture studies and taught him that the scripture stories will always be exciting and will never get old. Thankfully, my husband has this same attitude, and enjoys telling our children stories of men and women from the scriptures who have great courage and are valiant in their faith. To my husband, the stories of the scriptures are exciting and relevant. Hopefully he can help our children develop the same love of the scriptures, so that they can learn together of the importance of the Priesthood.

How do you teach your children about the importance of the Priesthood? Do you teach your children through example? How do you teach your children to stay clean and prepare for the blessings of the Priesthood?

The Divine Gift of Gratitude

(find the talk here)

When I was a child, I was somewhat afraid of President Thomas S. Monson. He was a counselor in the First Presidency for as long as I can remember, but something about his face always made me think of a villain from a children’s story. Before you think I am being blasphemous, you should see a picture of him:

This is what I’m talking about! I’m not saying he looks evil – but he has that prominent nose and forehead that you usually see in villain characters.

Thankfully, the Spirit is a good testifier of truth, and when he was called as the prophet I was able to receive a testimony of his calling as prophet and President of the Church. It might also have something to do with his softened appearance as he has aged:

Doesn’t he look a lot more friendly now? I love this man. Even though I have never met him in person, I love him, and I know that he is a prophet of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he speaks the things that Heavenly Father would have us do, and I know that if we follow his teachings, we will be led closer to our Savior and to our Father in Heaven.

President Monson’s talk about gratitude was another of those that I really needed to read before I could understand what was in it for me.

Two Lines of Communication

(find the talk here)

I always enjoy Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ talks. I think I have enjoyed listening to him speak since I was a little child. He is definitely the Apostle I most distinctly remember, which may be why I enjoy his talks so much. That or I just really like the way he speaks – always very rational, to the point, and authoritative. He tells it like it is. And I like that.

This particular talk is very important to me, because I have such a strong testimony in this topic, and I see confusion about this principle everywhere around me – in and out of the Church.

Elder Oaks points out the two lines of communication with God – there is a personal line, and there is a priesthood line. The problem with most people is that they either believe and rely disproportionately on one or the other, or they completely discredit the one. More often in the Church, members simply rely too much on the one or the other, and fail to recognize the importance of the other.

For example, we have some LDS friends recently who underwent surgical sterilization for personal reasons (i.e., they didn’t want any more kids). The Church Handbook explicitly says in what conditions surgical sterilization should be considered, and personal preference is not one of them. At all. Our friends are righteous, active members of the Church. They are not apostate, they are not deliberately trying to ignore what the brethren have instructed us to do. Honestly I believe that they didn’t even know about this policy. Even if they did consult their bishop, he may not have known about the Church policy. However, in many cases, couples make decisions like this and will say that it was a personal decision between them and the Lord. In his talk, Elder Oak describes it this way, “Unfortunately, it is common for persons who are violating God’s commandments or disobedient to the counsel of their priesthood leaders to declare that God has revealed to them that they are excused from obeying some commandment or from following some counsel. Such persons may be receiving revelation or inspiration, but it is not from the source they suppose.” Many people will suppose that they can receive inspiration and make decisions for their family which are contrary to the laws of God. Not so. This is a serious misunderstanding of the personal line of communication – God will never inspire us to do something that is contrary to the laws He has given to us through His prophets.

On the other hand, though, some people misunderstand the place of the Priesthood line. I learned a good lesson about this when I was preparing to go to college as a youth. I had some great opportunities to attend a very good in-state university in Arkansas. I also had been accepted to BYU with a one year full tuition scholarship. I knew that I could get more than a full tuition scholarship to the University of Arkansas, and the school was just as good as BYU, as far as academics. Stuck in what decision to make, I went to my bishop, who basically turned me back to the personal line and said that both schools were great, and both would give me wonderful opportunities, and that I should attend which ever school I wanted to. At the time I was disappointed, because I thought for sure my bishop would know better than me which school I should attend – but it taught me a great lesson in the places of the Priesthood and personal lines of communication. If my bishop had weighed in on the matter (and he did give me some good counsel about general decision making), I would have gone back to my bishop to ask which boy in the ward I should marry, which classes I should take, what major I should pursue, when I should start having children, whether or not I should work outside the home – I could keep going. Instead, I had a great bishop who reminded me that these kinds of decisions are mine to make with the Lord, and that if He had a particular place for me to be, He would let me know. Sometimes the Lord does give us personal instruction through Priesthood authorities, but more often than not, it is up to use to make those personal decision for ourselves – as long as the decisions we make are in harmony with the Priesthood line.

Similarly, we are not expected to blindly follow what the Priesthood authorities tell us. I am always reminded of the book reviews from Reading Rainbow (remember, that PBS show about reading and books? Take a look, it’s in a book?). The host of the show says something about how you can learn about the topic in a book, but you don’t have to take his word for it, and then a bunch of kids give book reviews. The prophets and apostles do the same thing. When we listen to them speak in General Conference, or on any matter, they expect us to receive our own confirmation of their testimony. They don’t want us to take their word for it – they want us to receive our own testimony, our own revelation that what they say is the truth.

We must use both the personal line and the priesthood line in proper balance to achieve the growth that is the purpose of mortal life. If personal religious practice relies too much on the personal line,individualism erases the importance of divine authority. If personal religious practice relies too much on the priesthood line, individual growth suffers.

I am grateful for the priesthood line of communication, and for the personal line of communication, and I am so grateful for my knowledge of the two, and the place each has in my life. I hope that I can keep them in balance so that I can live the life Heavenly Father would have me live.

How do you balance the personal and priesthood lines? Do you sometimes find yourself using them out of place? Do rely more on one line than another? How can you grow in your personal testimony?

181st Annual LDS General Conference

The 181st Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints will begin on April 2, 2011 at 10:00 am in the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, UT.

I can’t even begin to express how excited I am for General Conference. I think I am even more excited about Conference this April because of the depth of study I have undertaken of the October General Conference. I think consistently, carefully, and deeply studying the words of October’s General Conference has really prepared me to be anxious for these upcoming sessions. I have really eaten up the words of the prophets, and I am anxious to hear the “new” word. I was telling my husband that I know that the General Authorities will not say anything particularly new at this General Conference – but I know that their words will be direct inspiration from our Heavenly Father, and I am excited to listen and learn from Him through the mouths of His holy Prophets.

I have a lot on my mind right now, so I think that General Conference is coming at just the right moment (or it’s my worries and stress that are coming at the right moment – but either way, this weekend is promising to be pretty awesome).

I like to have questions that I am praying about that Heavenly Father will help me answer at General Conference. Right now I have quite a few.

I would like to finish all the talks from October General Conference on this blog, but I think I may just have to do a few of the Apostle’s talks, and then begin with April General Conference next week.

Also, I am going to start studying the Church’s Handbook of Instructions (book number 2), along with studying some other topics that I may feel particularly drawn to. This intensive study of the General Conference talks has been great for me, though. I think that I will review one talk a week, and I will start with the talks from only the Apostles. I will try to include the other talks in my study of other topics (and maybe in my study of the Church Handbook), but I don’t think I will continue to study the other talks in such depth on my blog, unless, of course, I feel inspired to.

There are several ways to experience General Conference these days, so no one has an excuse for not listening to, reading, or watching this Conference. Go here for more information.

The Holy Ghost and Revelation

(find the talk here)

I have to admit that I was a little distracted while reading Elder Jay E. Jensen’s talk. I’ll share my thoughts on this talk, and then I’ll probably have to write later about the thoughts that distracted me.

I liked that Elder Jensen talked about “trees of testimony.” I like having visual representations of abstract ideas. Elder Jensen said:

… I witnessed the results of Alma’s counsel to “awake and arouse [my] faculties … to [conduct] an experiment upon [His] words.” These words or seeds have grown into trees, indeed giant trees of testimony. The process continues with more experiments upon the word, resulting in additional trees of testimony, now a veritable forest based on revelation through and by the Holy Ghost.

I would like to say that I have a “veritable forest” of testimony trees, but it’s probably more like a small grove. Maybe a dozen trees. What would it be like to have a forest of testimony trees? Each time I experiment on the word and let a little tree grow, it makes it easier to grow other trees. It’s much like developing any other skill – we work and work at it until we are professional foresters.

One thing that Elder Jensen mentioned struck me probably the first time I listened to it after Conference. We had moved in to a new home and we started attending a Portuguese ward about 10 minutes from our home. The boundaries for our neighborhood ward are quite small and the ward building is nearly in our backyard. Because we weren’t attending that ward, we didn’t get to know very many of our neighbors – and we usually get to know people really quickly. I was going through some tough times, feeling pretty lonely and pretty alone. I was so used to a close-knit ward family with people who would just drop by to say hi and chat for a bit. I felt like no one was around to “minister” to my needs. But Elder Jensen reminded me that “sometimes there is no one … available to minister in time of need. In those situations I have come to find solace and direction from the Comforter, another role of the Holy Ghost.” This was something I really needed to hear. It didn’t matter if there was no one around to “take care of me” – I could find the comfort and peace and ministration in the gift of the Holy Ghost which I received at baptism.

Have you ever felt alone, only to realize that the Holy Ghost was there all along? Do you have a forest of testimony trees? Or are yours more like a few saplings?

Cleansing the Inner Vessel

(find the talk here)

Well.

I don’t want to say much about President Boyd K. Packer’s talk, because a lot of what I would say, I said back in October.

Sometimes, I am worried about the world and how wicked things seem to be getting. But then I see good people, repentant people, righteous people, and I remember that in the last days, the wicked will become wicked, and the righteous will become more righteous. I can definitely see that happening. And I hope that I am becoming more righteous.

Recently, I have been hearing this quote from President Packer’s talk constantly in my mind:

“And the Gods said: We will bless them. And … we will cause them to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.”

This commandment has never been rescinded.

We are still commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth. I thought this was interesting, especially in today’s world of having 2.5 children.

Even more interesting was when I found this policy from the Church’s Handbook 2: Administering the Church:

21.4.15 Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy)

The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.

Definitely if the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth still stands, then surgical sterilization would be strongly discouraged. Of course, as President Packer points out in his talk, “Lehi taught that men are free and must be ‘free … to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day.’ … our agency is more powerful than the adversary’s will. Agency is precious. We can foolishly, blindly give it away, but it cannot be forcible taken from us.” So, of course, it is given us to choose what we will do. But it behooves us to choose the path that follows the Lord’s will for us. “There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.” My mind always goes back to the example of a kite being held by a kite string. When the kite is being held taught by the string, it can soar. If the string were to be cut, the kite would fall to the ground.

What can obedience do for us? It can help us break the chains of addiction and bad habits. “If one is obedient, the priesthood can show how to break a habit and even erase an addiction.” I have bad habits in my life – maybe not particularly heinous sins, but there are parts of my parenting, and parts of my actions towards others in general that have become habits, and I would like to change them. President Packer’s message is one of hope:

Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate. The key is labeled “repentance.” If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you. … If you are bound by a habit or an addiction that is unworthy, you must stop conduct that is harmful. Angels will coach you, and priesthood leaders will guide you through those difficult times.

I am so grateful for the power of the atonement, and the power of the priesthood to heal my life, and the lives of those around me. As a mother, I worry that some of my bad parenting will have a lasting a permanent effect on my children. But just when I feel that way, President Packer offers even more encouragement. “The priesthood has the power to unlock the influence of our habits …  however tight the grip. It can heal over the scars of past mistakes.” If I can change how I parent – if I can become more patience, more humble, and more charitable toward my children – then my past mistakes of impatience, scolding, and punishment will be healed by the Savior, and I will still be able to raise healthy, well-adjusted, righteous children.

What scars would you have Christ heal? Are you willing to be obedient to the laws of God? Are you willing to submit to our Father and be obedient so that He might heal you and your family?

Trust in God, Then Go and Do

(find the talk here)

President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from the Sunday morning session of General Conference was timely for several reasons. The first reason I can think of is because President Boyd K. Packer spoke just after President Eyring’s talk, and President Packer’s talk garnered a lot of criticism among the world, and, ironically, among members of the Church. When a prophet of God speaks, we should trust that he is speaking for the Lord. We have even  been instructed to pray and learn for ourselves that what the prophets say is true. I’ll say more about President Packer’s talk when I read that talk again for this blog (probably tomorrow).

It’s interesting how I end up re-reading the conference talks at exactly the right time for me to hear some counsel that I am particularly needing at that moment. Maybe I didn’t need to hear President Eyring’s counsel to “Trust in God, Then Go and Do” back in October last year, but I surely need it now.

My husband and I are in the process of making a few very significant, very important decisions for our family. About both of which we have recently received individual promptings from the Spirit. However, we, in our “perceived” infinite wisdom (“I know my circumstances, so I know how to proceed in my situation.”) have attempted to postpone, put off, or other wise ignore the promptings we have received. On Sunday afternoon, the Lord sent one of his messengers to help us understand His will for us. President Eyring says that he “trust[s] His apostles and prophets today and those they call to serve God.” (emphasis added) The Lord has called righteous bishops to preside over our wards, and the bishop from our neighborhood ward visited us on Sunday and confirmed our feelings from the past few months. Now the job is ours to decide if we will “go and do.”

The other decision is much more personal and I will not share the details here, but I will mention that both my husband and I feel completely inadequate to go forth with the Lord’s plan in this regard. We both feel that we do not have what it takes, that following what we have felt prompted to do would make our lives more crazy and stressful than we are right now, and that we lack the strength necessary to do the Lord’s will. But President Eyring reminds us of Nephi’s proclamation of trust and obedience:

Nephi … said these words of trust that we can and must feel steadily in our hearts: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

I want to have the kind of faith where I will obey the Lord’s will for me even when I think that I know that there is a better way.  President Eyring says that kind of trust “comes from knowing God.” In my talk yesterday I spoke about President Uchtdorf’s talk Of Things that Matter Most and one of the relationships he mentioned was our relationship with Heavenly Father. President Uchtdorf even taught us how to improve our relationship with our Father. He said:

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him,by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by[Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

I can learn to trust God by improving my relationship with him and coming to really know God. Studying the scriptures to learn about Him, looking in the world around me to learn about Him, looking into my heart and listening to the Spirit to learn about Him. As I stay close to God, I know that He will make known to me the things he would have me do.

I must trust in the Lord, and then go and do.

I can learn to trust more in the Lord, and I do have a desire to do His will. And as I learn to trust in the Lord, I know that He will be able to trust me, and that He will reveal more and more of His plan for me, as I show Him that I am willing to do His will, trusting that He will prepare a way for it.

President Eyring closed with this remark, and I think it is appropriate for my post as well:

You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks. If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song, and prayer in this conference, you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed with gratitude to find that He has come to trust you.

May we learn to have trust in the Lord – and then be willing to go and do what He would have us do. I know that our power to trust Him will grow as we demonstrate that trust to Him.

Have you struggled to trust in the Lord? How do you feel when  you work to find out His will for you, and then go and do the things He has asked for you to do? Do you feel like He prepares a way for you to do all the things He asks you to do?

As Coisas Que Mais Importam

This is my talk that I gave in our Portuguese speaking ward on Sunday, March 20. I wrote the talk in Portuguese and my husband translated it for me. Apparently I did a pretty good job reading Portuguese. I hope they enjoyed the talk as much as they enjoyed my Portuguese! (You should be able to translate this talk if you have a Google translator add-in for your browser – it won’t be perfect, but it will be close)

Sou grata pela oportunidade de dar um discurso hoje, e especialmente pela oportunidade de praticar o portugués. O irmão Niscimento me disse que eu teria um tradutor, mas já que eu posso ler portugués melhor do que falar (e eu pensei que me sentiria estranha com um tradutor) decidí pedir a Russ que me ajudasse a escrever o meu discurso em portugués, e depois eu iria ler para vocês. Me perdoem se por acaso eu pronunciar algumas coisas com um sotaque europeu – aí a culpa é do meu marido porque serviu em Portugal, e não no Brasil.

O bispo me pediu que falasse a respeito do discurso do Presidente Uchtdorf da Conferência Geral em Outubro, As Coisas Que mais Importam. Eu já escutei este discurso muitas vezes (em inglês) e eu já o tenho lido algumas vezes. A meu ver, a leitura dos discursos da Conferência é diferente de escutá-los. Eu aprendo coisas novas ao ler os discursos, que não tinha aprendido ao escutá-los.

Neste discurso, o Presidente Uchtdorf nos relembra que devemos ir mais devagar e nos focalizar nas coisas que importam mais na nossa vida. Hoje em dia, as nossas vidas estão aterefadas e a vida corre numa velocidade bem acelerada. Somos constantemente bombardeados com informação e experiências. Temos a escola, trabalho, esporte, música, dança, afazeres, a lista continúa. Muitas dessas coisas, em sí, são boas e retas. Mas o Presidente Uchtdorf nos dá esta admoestação: “Por complicarmos desnecessariamente a vida, geralmente sentimos mais frustração, temos menos alegria e não achamos muito sentido na vida.”

Em Helemã capítulo cinco, versículo trinta, lemos: “E aconteceu que quando ouviram essa voz, notaram que não era uma voz de trovão nem uma voz de ruído tumultuoso, mas eis que era uma voz mansa, de perfeita suavidade, semelhante a um sussurro que penetrava até o âmago da alma.”

O Senhor fala com uma voz mansa e delicada. Por acaso já alguma vez estiveram num lugar cheio de barulho e ouviram alguma coisa que atraíu a sua atenção, mas que era um som mais delicado do que o barulho ao seu redor? Talvez aparecesse como alguém a chorar, o qualquer outro som delicado. Você provavelmente tentou estar o mais quieto possível e o mais silencioso possível para poder ouvir o som de novo. Talvez até pedisse aos que se achavam com você que estivessem silenciosos. Ou talvez até você lhes perguntasse se eles ouviram o som. Escutar a voz mansa e delicada quando enchemos as nossas vidas com reuniões, atividades, e projetos pode ser como ouvir o choro de um bebé numa sala cheia de gente e barulho. Mas com qué freqüência será que desmarcamos reuniões, interrompemos atividades, ou adiamos projetos para que possamos ouvir aquela voz mansa e delicada? Muitas vezes, nós não nos paramos para poder ouvir a voz mansa e delicada.

O Presidente Uchtdorf nós encourajou a focalizar nas coisas que mais importam. Ele citou o Elder Oaks, que disse: “Temos de renunciar a algumas coisas boas em prol de outras muito boas ou excelentes, pois elas desenvolvem a fé no Senhor Jesus Cristo e fortalecem a família.” Em vez de fazer demasiadas boas coisas, devemos estar fazendo algumas das coisas melhores. Precisamos ser particular em como passamos nosso tempo. E temos que nos certificar de que estejamos passando tempo fazendo as coisas mais importantes.

Eu concordo com o Presidente Uchtdorf ao dizer que “a maioria de nós compreende intuitivamente quão importantes são os fundamentos. Mas simplesmente nos distraímos, às vezes, com inúmeras coisas que nos parecem mais emocionantes.” Eu entendo quão importantes são as coisas básicas, porém muitas vezes eu fico destraida por toda a informação e esperiência que este mundo me oferece.

O Presidente Uchtdorf nos ensina que as coisas que mais importam são “quatro relacionamentos fundamentais: com nosso Deus, com nossa família, com nosso próximo e com cada um de nós mesmos.”

O nosso relacionamento com o nosso Pai Celestial é o mais importante, porque nós somos os seus filhos espirituais. “Melhoramos nosso relacianamento com o Pai Celestial ao aprender a respeito Dele, ter comunhão com Ele, arrepender-nos de nossos pecados e seguir ativamente Jesus Cristo.” Nós precisamos passar um tempo quieto cada dia com o nosso Pai Celestial orando, estudando, e escutando essa voz mansa e delicada. Para mim, este tempo vem cedo nas manhãs antes de se acordarem os meus filhos. Já acordou os meus dois pequeninhos, o meu lar já não está nada quieto. Há estómagos para encher, caras e mãos para limpar, desordens para arrumar, fraldas para mudar, e jogos para jogar. Se eu não tiver tempo pessoal a só com o Pai Celestial antes de se acordarem os meus filhos, eu já não vou ter esse tempo de sossego.

Eu tento ensinar os meus filhos a passar tempo com o Pai Celestial ao orar com eles, ler as escrituras com eles, e cantar as canções da primária com eles. Este tempo com o meu Pai Celestial junto com os meus filhos também ajuda a fortalecer o meu relacionamento com o meu Pai Celestial. Também me ajuda com o próxfimo relacionamento importante do qual falou o Presidente Uchtdorf – o relacionamento com as nossas famílias. O Presidente Uchtdorf disse, “No relacionamento familiar, o amor se soletra assim: t-e-m-p-o, tempo.” Nós temos que passar tempo com as nossas familias para lhes mostrar que as amamos e que nos preocupamos com eles. Muitas vezes eu não inclúo os meus filhos ao fazer as tarefas de casa, o que tira do tempo que eu poderia estar passando com eles. Eu lhes dou algúns brinquedos para brincar, ou filmes para ver, ou jogos para jogar enquanto eu faço a louça, lavo a ropa, e arrumo a casa. Em vez disso, eu devo usar o tempo de afazeres para ensinar os meus filhos a trabalhar, e assím poder passar mais tempo com eles.

Também precisamos cultivar o nosso relacionamento com os nossos próximos ao ter “sensibilidade para com as necesidades das pessoas, servindo-as e doando-lhes de nosso tempo e talentos.”

O último relacionamento do qual o Presidente Uchtdorf fala é o relacionamento com nós mesmos. Nós precisamos passar um pouco de tempo sozinhos para melhor conhecer a nós mesmos. Isto pode parecer estranho, mas precisamos aprender a amar nós mesmos e visualizar a nós mesmos como nos vê o nosso Pai Celestial – como os seus filhos e filhas amados.

Eu sei que é importante que vamos mais devagar para fazer decisões sobre a maneira na qual passaremos o nosso tempo. É tão importante passar tempo nos relacionamentos que importam – com Deus, com as nossas famílias, com os nossos próximos, e com nós mesmos. Eu sei que a medida que colocamos as nossas vidas mais em alinhamento com o evangelho de Jesus Cristo e focalizamos nestes relacionamentos, sentiremos que as nossas vidas são mais significantes, e seremos mais capazes de sentir e ouvir os sussurros da voz mansa e delicada. No nome de Jesus Cristo, amen.

Three Rs of Choice

(find the talk here)

This is the last of the talks from the Priesthood session, and then I have 18 more talks to study before the next General Conference, which convenes in 23 days. I am going to try to study them all before General Conference comes around again so that I can focus on the new talks after that.

I think that this talk stuck out to me first because of the title and the fact that this week we have been learning about the letter “R” in our casual at-home preschool.

And then I read the talk and I loved it. I didn’t remember listening to this talk until I got to a story President Thomas S. Monson tells at the very end of this talk. I’ll share pieces of it later.

President Monson laid out the doctrine of choice clearly in this talk. I liked his “Three Rs” of choice. They are:

1. The right of choice.
2. The responsibility of choice.
3. The results of choice.

Right

Here, President Monson mostly speaks about the gift of agency. He quotes President David O. McKay who said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.” And a gift I find myself more and more grateful every day. We have the right to do with our life what we will. God did not write out every detail of our life before we were born. He did not force us to become who we are, and He does not force us to make decisions. He may plead, cajole, and send the strongest promptings of the Spirit, but in the end, it is up to us to make the decision.

We are in the process of becoming licensed to be foster parents, and we have taken a lot of parenting courses in this process. One of the things that always comes up in parenting and child development is teaching children how to make choices. It is so important that we teach them how to make decisions (preferably correct decisions – but as the Prophet Joseph Smith said, We teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves). This is what God wants – He wants to teach us correct principles and then have us govern ourselves. It is given to us to do so. God cannot force us to make correct choices. Which puts the pressure on us to teach our children (and each other) how to make correct choices.

President Monson speaks of Lucifer and his plan for us. “He insisted that with his plan none would be lost, but he seemed not to recognize – or perhaps not to care – that in addition, none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed.”

Making choices does make us wiser. When we make incorrect choices, we (hopefully) learn from our mistakes, and when we make correct choices, we are blessed with more light and truth from Heavenly Father. Making choices makes us stronger. As we make correct choices, we receive even more strength to make future correct choices – which may be even more difficult to make. We are more compassionate, because we understand that others have to make choices as well – and because we  are making choices, we respect the seriousness of that challenge. Being able to make choices certainly makes me grateful. I think about living in this great land of America, instead of in a land in the Middle East, or in Asia, in which people are not free to choose their own life. This land is truly a promised land. But that’s a topic for another day.

The only “down” side to choice is that men are “free to choose liberty and eternal life … or to choose captivity and death.” Which means that we can choose incorrectly and damage our eternal souls. President Monson reminds us that “within the confines of whatever circumstances we find ourselves, we will always have the right to choose.”

Responsibility

Because we have been given the gift of agency, we must choose. We have a divine responsibility to act and not be acted upon. President Monson says, “We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground. The Lord knows this; Lucifer knows this. As long as we live upon this earth, Lucifer and his hosts will never abandon the hope of claiming our souls.” This reminds me of the saying “You’re either with me or against me.” Which is a very true statement when it comes to the Lord.

We can choose not to choose – because that right is given to us. However, if we choose not to choose, then we are choosing Satan, who will lead our souls miserably down to @#!*% .

President Monson reminds us that Heavenly Father didn’t send us to Earth with the power to choose and no help to make correct choices. We know that “The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, tha the may know good from evil.” More specifically, we have prayer, the gift of the Holy Ghost, the scriptures, and latter-day Prophets (like President Monson).

Satan is not content to have only the “so-called refuse of humanity” but “seeks all of us, including the very elect of God. … whether we are 12-year-old deacons or mature high priests, we are susceptible.”

We need courage to make decision correctly.

Results

“All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it.”

President  Monson talks about the difference between whether to wear a green or blue shirt one day, and whether or not to view pornography. What color shirt to wear doesn’t make a difference, but the choice about viewing pornography “can make all the difference in your life. … you are taking a detour from which you may not return.”

We are the person accountable for our choices. Brigham Young said, “Salvation is an individual operation.”

Paul stated, “but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

President Monson closes with a story of a basketball player who was the first string center on his team, and chose not to play in the championship game because it was to be played on Sunday.

That fateful, difficult decision was made more than 30 years ago. Brother Christensen has said that as time has passed, he considers it one of the most important decisions he ever made. It would have been very easy to have said, “You know, in general, keeping the Sabbath day holy is the right commandment, but in my particular extenuating circumstance, it’s okay,just this once, if I don’t do it.” However, he says his entire life has turned out to be an unending stream of extenuating circumstances, and had he crossed the line just that once, then the next time something came up that was so demanding and critical, it would have been so much easier to cross the line again. The lesson he learned is that it is easier to keep the commandments 100 percent of the time than it is 98 percent of the time.

How do you feel about being given the right to choose? Do you take the responsibility to choose seriously? How do you deal with the results of your choices? Does knowing that there will be consequences help you to choose wisely? How does the atonement help you to correct your wrong decisions?

Serve with the Spirit

(find the talk here)

This is another talk from the Priesthood session of General Conference. President Henry B. Eyring spoke of serving with the spirit in Priesthood responsibilities and callings, but I think that it can apply to anyone serving.

President Eyring talks about how the power of the Priesthood is magnified by the Holy Ghost. His message, in short, is “let us do whatever is required to qualify for the Holy Ghost as our companion, and then let us go forward fearlessly so that we will be given the powers to do whatever the Lord calls us to do.” I think that this message is applicable to all Saints everywhere who would serve. Women as well as men. Young and old, anyone who would serve would do best to strive to have the Holy Ghost to magnify their work.

So how do we have the Holy Ghost with us? President Eyring reminds us that “the companionship of the Holy Ghost, the manifestations of it in our life and service, requires us to put our lives in order to qualify.” He then describes what it means to put our lives “in order.” He mentions keeping the commandments, trying to live a blameless life, and then, of course, because we are not perfect, having faith in Jesus Christ to repent when we have made mistakes so that we can be made new through the atonement of our Savior. “Just as we must be cleansed of sin to have the Spirit with us, we must be humble enough before God to recognize our need for it.” The Savior’s disciples in the Americas recognized their need for the Spirit. They prayed “for that which they most desired…” which was “… that the Holy Ghost should be given unto them.” President Eyring states, “Humble prayer to our Heavenly Father, in deep faith in Jesus Christ, is essential to qualify us for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.”

I know that as a mother my need for the companionship of the Holy Ghost is very real. I know that as I pray with faith – with “deep faith in Jesus Christ” – I can qualify for that gift. The “deep faith” is probably the part I struggle with the most. I feel like I have faith, but I have often wondered if I have enough faith to move mountains. Often I wonder what that even means. Obviously I don’t need to move literal mountains – but there are mountains in my own life that I need to move.

President Eyring mentions that “Our humility and our faith that invite spiritual gifts are increased by our reading, studying, and pondering the scriptures.” Well, this may be one of the reasons my faith is somewhat lacking. I read the scriptures each night (the Book of Mormon, particularly) – but that is just it! I read the scriptures each night. I study the scriptures in the morning when I record my thoughts on this blog, but I feel like that isn’t enough, and I don’t do it consistently. “We read words and we may get ideas. We study and we may discover patterns and connections in scripture. But when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit.” For President Eyring, “Pondering … is the thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying the scriptures carefully.”

Because I like to “think out loud,” writing plays an important role in my pondering. But sometimes I find myself pondering the meaning of scriptures and words of the prophets in my heart, and receiving revelation. And then sometimes, the revelation comes later, after I have read, studied, and pondered. Maybe later in the day, something will come to me that is sparked by the scripture and words of the prophets that I have been studying.

In the Relief Society, one of our most important duties is to bring relief. President Eyring promises to priesthood holders (but I am sure it extends to the sisters) “You will find yourself more able to recognize pain and worry in the faces of people. Names or the faces of people … will come into your mind with the impression that they are in need.”

In closing, President Eyring quotes President George Q. Cannon who said, “When we are filled with the Spirit of God we are filled with joy, with peace, and with happiness, no matter what our circumstances may be; for it is a spirit of cheerfulness and of happiness.” I think that is probably a good way to measure how fully we are feeling the Spirit. When we have the companionship of the Spirit we should have joy, peace, and happiness – no matter what our circumstances may be.

I know that is is vital for us to serve with the Holy Spirit, no matter what our calling – whether as visiting teachers, priesthood bearers, simply as mothers, or wives, or daughters, or members of Christ’s Church.

What do you do to be worthy of the Holy Spirit? How do you make sure you are qualifying for it’s companionship on a daily basis? Has the Holy Spirit magnified your service? Do you feel the joy, peace, and happiness that accompanies the Holy Spirit?

Pride and the Priesthood

(find the talk here)

 

President Dieter F Uchdorf’s talk was given during the Priesthood session of General Conference. This session is broadcast on a closed circuit, instead of being publicly broadcast. Those who are not Priesthood holders have to wait until the transcripts or recordings come up on LDS.org to hear or read the words from that session.

President Uchtdorf’s talk is exactly what I have been needing lately. I have found myself become less patient, more depressed, and easily convinced of my sometimes perceived lack of worth. All of these things I have been able to connect to an increase in pride. So I enjoyed studying President Uchtdorf’s talk – especially the part at the end “How do we become more humble?” But rather than start at the end, I’ll start at the beginning, highlighting some of my favorite points.

President Uchtdorf referenced a talk given by President Ezra Taft Bensen called “Beware of Pride”. After this talk, President Uchtdorf says he remembers that “pride” practically became taboo in the Church.

President Uchtdorf reminds us that there are different meanings and uses of the word “pride”:

In the scriptures we find plenty of examples of good and righteous people who rejoice in righteousness and at the same time glory in the goodness of God. Our Heavenly Father Himself introduced His Beloved Son with the words “in whom I am well pleased.” … I believe there is a difference between being proud of certain things and being prideful. I am proud of many things.

I think it was a good thing for a prophet of God to come out and tell people that it isn’t a sin to be proud of your family, your accomplishments, or other things that you are pleased with.

The meaning of pride that President Bensen and President Uchtdorf warn against is the on which “at its core … is a sin of comparison, for though it usually begins with ‘Look how wonderful I am and what great things I have done,’ it always seems to end with ‘Therefore, I am better than you.’”

President Uchtdorf then reminds us that pride involves worshipping ourselves instead of worshipping God. I thought he explained the sin of pride with great clarity when he mentioned that simply acknowledging the good things you have done is not a sin, until it ends with “Therefore, I am better than you.” This is where I have been slipping recently.

As a child, I had a hard time accepting the fact that I could do anything wonderful. When people gave me compliments, I simply shrugged them off, “No, no, not really.” It took me several years to begin to graciously accept compliments. In the recent years, however, I have found myself slipping toward the other extreme – accepting the compliments and “inhaling” – as President Uchtdorf says. I accept the compliments, and then think that because I am getting so many compliments, I must be better than other people in that way. I have been learning that one of the best ways to counter this tendency is to find things to compliment in other people, especially if I can compliment the same thing. Someone says I have a great voice, and I look for people to compliment on their voice. People say I’m a wonderful mother, and I find another wonderful mother, and give her the same compliment. Doing this helps me realize two things: 1.) I can be a great ____ (fill in the blank) or great at ____ (fill in the blank). 2.) So can other people, which means me being great is not the same as me being better.

President Uchtdorf explains this phenomenon that I have experienced. He says “sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. … This is the sin of ‘Thank God I am more special than you.’… For others, pride turns to envy: they look bitterly at those who have better positions, more talents, or greater possessions than they do. … When those they envy stuble or suffer, they secretly cheer.” I used to be on the “pride as envy” side – back when I couldn’t accept compliments. Then I slowly drifted into the “Thank God I am more special than you” camp. I am still working on moving back to the middle.

So, how do we do it? How do we become more humble? President Uchtdorf reminds us that “It is almost impossible to be lifted up in pride when our hearts are filled with charity. … When we see the world around us through the lens of the pure love of Christ, we begin to understand humility.” Filling our hearts with charity is hard, but it is not impossible. I know that praying for that charity is one of the biggest, and best, steps we can take toward humility.

The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die. … There are so many ways we could be serving. we have no time to be absorbed in ourselves.

How have you become more humble? How do you keep yourself humble? Do you struggle more with pride as envy? Or pride as self-glorification? Do you work each day to have charity in your heart? Have you lost yourself in service to others and noticed your pride begin to die?