The Spirit of Revelation

(find the talk here)

I always love Elder David A. Bednar’s talks. He has a way of putting things that makes them easily digestable, and simple to understand. He speaks plainly and simply, so that even the tired and weary can hear his words and act on them. I never feel overwhelmed when I hear his talks – even though he very often takes on some very big topics.

In his talk about the Spirit of Revelation, Elder Bednar gave two experiences we have all had with light.

The first was the experience of entering a dark room and turning on the light. The second was of the gradually increasing light offered by the sun as it rises. Because I love his analogies so much I am going to organize my thoughts based on the two.

Turning on the Light

The first analogy Elder Bednar gave was turning on a light in a dark room. I made a little video to visually illustrate his example.

Elder Bednar said that these kinds of revelations are received “immediately and intensely” but also reminded us that “this pattern of revelation tends to be more rare than common.”

He gave several examples from Church history and from the scriptures that show that revelation is indeed given in this way. However, he also cautioned that “We as members of the Church tend to emphasize marvelous and dramatic spiritual manifestations so much that we may fail to appreciate and may even overlook the customary pattern by which the Holy Ghost accomplishes His work.” When we only focus on getting the “light switch” revelations, we often miss the fact that revelation doesn’t only come this way.

The Rising Sun

The second analogy Elder Bednar gave was of the light we receive when the sun rises – this light is received gradually, almost imperceptibly. I found this really neat video and thought I would share it with you. I think it does a great job of showing all the different circumstances in which the sun rises, which Elder Bednar talked a little bit about in his talk.

“The gradual increase of light radiating from the rising sun is like receiving a message from God ‘line upon line, precept upon precept’. Most frequently, revelation comes in small increments over time and is granted according to our desire, worthiness, and preparation. Such communications from Heavenly Father gradually and gently ‘distil upon [our souls] as the dews from heaven’”

I think that Elder Bednar is exceptionally qualified to speak about the patterns of revelation – especially this line upon line one. When I was in college I took a class called Teachings of the Living Prophets in which we read biographies of all of the Apostles and Prophets. In Elder Bednar’s biography, he talked about how he knew that he should marry his wife. He said that he did not receive some strong impression that she was the one he should marry, but rather over the time he spent with her he gradually came to the conclusion that she was the woman he should marry. I loved this because as Elder Bednar said, “This pattern of revelation tends to be more common than rare” and I think that many of us saints discredit the line upon line version of revelation. We think that it is somehow less important or less accurate or less valuable than the immediate, intense version.

In order to really hit this point home, Elder Bednar quoted President Joseph F. Smith who said, “Show me Latter-day Saints who have to feed upon miracles, signs and visions in order to keep them steadfast in the Church, and I will show you members … who are not in good standing before God, and who are walking in slippery paths. It is not by marvelous manifestations unto us that we shall be established in the truth, but it is by humility and faithful obedience to the commandments and laws of God.” Those are strong – but very true – words by a prophet of God. We should be comfortable with the line upon line version of revelation, as it the most common in our lives.

I have struggled with this principle throughout my life. I have never sought out signs, but I have discredited all of the line upon line revelation because I have never received a big huge visitation of throngs of angels.

But Elder Bednar even mentioned that Joseph Smith, who was visited by the Father and the Son, did not receive all light and knowledge all at once. Sure, he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ – but the gospel was not all made known to that 14 year old boy all at once (and probably good thing, too – the missionaries sometimes overwhelm people with just one visit, or visitors to our three hour block can sometimes be put into a stupor from all the new information). Joseph received the gospel line upon line.

Since Elder Bednar’s talk I have been realizing more and more when I do receive the gradual inspiration. I know that I am being blessed daily as I study and pray and plead with the Lord for inspiration – I am being blessed with the inspiration that I need to be a good wife and a good mother. But Heavenly Father doesn’t usually say to me “Rebecca, do this.” “Rebecca, do that.” During and after my frequent prayers to the Father to help me know what to do in raising my children and developing an eternal relationship with my husband, I frequently feel quiet impressions in my heart and my mind – and most of the time is something I read in the scriptures, in another good book, or something I heard in General Conference or a talk or lesson in Church. But the Lord brings those thoughts to my mind by the power of the Holy Ghost.

I have been learning what Joseph and Oliver learned as they received inspiration and revelation gradually, piece by piece, “the spirit of revelation typically functions as thoughts and feelings that come into our minds and hearts by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

The spirit of revelation “belongs to and should be operative in the life of every man, woman, and child who reaches the age of accountability and enters into sacred covenants.” It is not limited only to the General Authorities of the Church. It is not even only limited to those who have leadership callings – Primary presidents, Bishops, Stake Presidents, etc. The spirit of revelation is available and waiting for each and every member of the Church to receive it. When we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost after baptism, we are commanded to “receive the Holy Ghost” – the blessing does not say that “Okay, now you have the Holy Ghost and it will always be with you.” We have to receive it. Even – no, especially – when it speaks in quiet whispers to our hearts and minds. Especially when it brings us knowledge as the sun rises over the horizon.

May we accept revelation as it comes to us – line upon line, precept upon precept – and may we receive the Holy Ghost so that we can gain a sure knowledge of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.

How does the Spirit speak to you? Do you receive inspiration like a light switch, or do you find that it comes more like the sunrise? Do you sometimes find yourself discrediting the “smaller” pieces of revelation, and find yourself waiting for the more immediate and intense revelation?

Companion Study: Verbal Intimacy

(this is a joint post with my husband, Russ.
My comments are italicized, and his comments are in regular font)
 

Hi. My name’s Russ. I’m the hubby. Becca’s finally convinced me to write something in her blog. One disclaimer; I lack the eloquence Becca has. But anyway, today we started companionship study (or something like it). I think it’s one of the best things a couple can do, and perhaps, one of the most difficult things. Not because it isn’t interesting or rewarding, but because you’re addressing things about a person you’re closer to than anyone else you know. No other relationship you have with anyone is quite (or nearly) as complex, or important, for that matter.

Our first study session started out really well, had some bumpy parts in the middle, but ultimately ended with both of us feeling more understood, more heard, and more loved. It’s the best I’ve felt in a long time.

Becca and I both have very strong personalities

(what he means is that we are both very stubborn)

So, once we get to talking, it can get pretty heated, pretty quick. Don’t get me wrong. The thing goes both ways. I mean, when we’re excited about something, or happy about something, it goes that way too. So, anyway, like Becca said, we started off well, and then, like always, our “personality strengths” kind of took charge for a while.

Which is why our first subject for study was a perfect one for us – verbal intimacy. Yesterday I was at the local DI (Deseret Industries – an LDS-run thrift store) and picked up a book called “Sacred Intimacy" by Brenton and Margaret Yorgason.

I liked the second part of the title, so I agreed to read it with Becca.

Today we read the first chapter, “Verbal Intimacy.” Like I said, this was a perfect place for us to start. Russ and I have been married for 5 years, and communication has always been… a struggle for us. We love each other very much, and we’re usually really nice to each other – but we both struggle with both communicating our ideas, and understanding each other. We are a lot alike (both stubborn, like I said – which also means we’re both a little prideful) and we are also very different. Our upbringings couldn’t be more different – our parents’ parenting styles and personalities; the places we grew up; our educational backgrounds; our talents; just about every single thing about us is different.

So there we were, reading, then stopping for discussion every other page or so.

Which was appropriate, since in the introduction, the author suggested to “read these pages together with your spouse. As you do this, when one of you reads or hears something you’d like to discuss further, speak up and say so. Stop at that moment and share your feelings and perceptions until both of you are fully satisfied with the exchange. Be as honest yet as gentle as possible. Then proceed.” (p. xiii) I think this was great advice for couples who want to study together – especially the part about both parties being “fully satisfied with the exchange.” When Russ or I would speak up about something we were reading, we would talk until someone would say “Okay, I’m satisfied with that” and then we would move on (if the other person was satisfied as well).

Then we finally came to one part which we agreed was one of the biggest factors in the problems we’ve run into with our communication. (I myself believe this to be a key factor in communication issues with most people).

“When we listen with our minds and hearts, we might first determine if we have heard what our partner meant to communicate. This can be done by asking something as simple as, ‘Do I hear you saying that you…?’

“Once we receive a confirming signal that we are interpreting things correctly, it’s much easier to resolve the issue at hand.”

We talked about this principle for a long time. I’m trying not to get started on it right now. I’ll just say, people tend to open up to you much better once they know you understand why they think what they do. (Notice I didn’t say once they know you agree with them).

Remember how I said Russ and I had very different upbringings? One of the things we talk about a lot is how different our parents were in communicating with their children. This is one of the places where my parents did things a little better. When I was growing up, I always felt like my parents listened to me, and really wanted to hear what I had to say. Even if I was being a dumb teenager, they still wanted to know what was on my mind, and never made me feel dumb, and never put me down because of my opinions. They really made me feel like it was important to them to listen to me, and I think they really tried to understand me. Russ’ parents aren’t quite the same. They aren’t really the type to listen to children. Remember the movie Matilda and how all the adults in her life (except Miss Honey) don’t listen to her because they are bigger, smarter, or more “right” than her? Russ was kind of like Matilda in that way. So one of the things we work on in our communication is learning how to be considerate of each other’s sensitivities. Where I wouldn’t mind as much if Russ didn’t outright say “Did I hear you say…?” (I would just assume that’s what he meant), he needs me to actually say it.

So that was a big topic of discussion. Aside from that, there were some other big ones that we agreed are a must when communicating. One of them was the “I”, “I-You,” and “You” statements. The “must” here would be to avoid the latter two. Here’s one example – Instead of saying “I can’t believe you said that.” or “You’re so mean!” You might say, “I feel hurt.” Using the “I” statements instead of the other two demonstrates ownership of the feeling. “By using an ‘I’ statement you communicate that the feeling exists, and that it is inside of you. It is your feeling.”

I liked this part a lot because we have done a lot of “you” statements in our marriage, and they are never conducive to resolving negative emotions – most of the time, a “You” statement or an “I-You” statement just propagates the negative emotions.

There were also a few really good pointers regarding how to deal with negative emotions and how to navigate conversations involving them. Among other things, one pointer included being able to place certain discussions on the back burner until the environment is more conducive to resolving whatever type of conflict there is.

We agreed to try something new. If one of us has a negative emotion that needs to be shared or resolved and the environment isn’t the best (the dog just peed in the house, the kids just dumped a bowl of cereal on the floor, or it’s bedtime) we will say “Can we talk about this later?” That way we know we need to talk as soon as possible, but we can also do what needs to be done at the time.

Another thing we both liked a lot was the “Where are you now?” Question. Not like when she calls you wanting to know why you’re not home for dinner. Rather, it means more, “Can I share a feeling?”

This one is also important to me because sometimes Russ will have something on his mind and if I need to vent about the neighbor’s kids tagging our fence, or the kids being cranky all day he can’t focus on helping me resolve the problem until he’s in a better place emotionally.

Last but not least, there was the reminder not to overwhelm your partner.

“[D]on’t dump too much at once.” Try to not express every negative emotion you’ve ever had all at the same time. That can be too much for anyone to take. And if someone starts getting defensive or “shutting down” (what Russ says I do sometimes), you can just wait for things to cool down a little. We decided that at any point in a conversation, either one of us can call a “time out” where we back out of the conversation and take a few minutes to think (alone), maybe pray, and try to get the spirit back so we can have a productive conversation.

We wanted to conclude with this scripture Brother Yorgason quoted:

My brethren, all ye that have assembled yourselves together, you that can hear my words which I shall speak unto you this day; for I have not commanded you to come up hither to trifle with the words which I shall speak, but that you should hearken unto me, and open your ears that ye may hear, and your hearts that ye may understand, and your minds that the mysteries of God may be unfolded to your view. (Mosiah 2:9)

We know that if we communicate with open ears and open hearts, as King Benjamin counseled, we will have deeper intimacy in our marriage.

What are you doing to improve communication in your marriage? How is your verbal intimacy with your spouse? Do you find that deeper verbal intimacy in your marriage helps you have a fuller relationship with your spouse?

A Gift for Emma

Heather over at Women in the Scriptures has been doing a week-long celebration for Emma Hale Smith’s birthday, which happens to be today. As part of the celebration, she encouraged us to write our testimonies of the Book of Mormon as a birthday present for Emma. So here is my testimony.

I have read the Book of Mormon a few times, and I have studied it vigorously both in seminary, and later in college. When I was in high school, I read the Book of Mormon all the way through, took Moroni’s challenge (see Moroni 10:4-5), and I knew – I absolutely knew – that it was true. I have read the Book of Mormon all the way through twice since then, and although I don’t study the Book of Mormon the way I used to, I still know that it is true, and I love reading its words. As a mother now, I am grateful for the opportunity I have to teach my children about Jesus Christ and the principles of His everlasting gospel by reading to them from the Book of Mormon, and teaching them the stories from the Book of Mormon. 

To keep my testimony strong, I read the Book of Mormon every night. Sometimes it is a verse or two, and sometimes it is a page or two, and sometimes it might be a chapter or two. I use an “economy” version of the Book of Mormon so that I can mark it up as I read, and then when I start reading it again, I get a new book so that I can have a fresh slate as I read. It is interesting to read through my old books that I have marked up as I can see what things stood out to me at the time in my life.

I love to read the Book of Mormon. I am a happier person when I read the Book of Mormon. I am a better wife, and a more patient mother. When I am in need of inspiration, often that inspiration comes to me as verses or principles that I learned from the Book of Mormon.

I know that it is the most correct book on the face of the earth, and that you will get closer to God by reading it – and you will come to know, really know Jesus Christ our Savior. The book is a testimony of our Savior, and every page bears witness of Him and of His plan.

I am so grateful to Emma for supporting Joseph and doing what the Lord asked her to do so that this book could come forward. I know that she is truly an elect lady, and she inspires me to support my husband as a man of God.

Emma, thank you, thank you, thank you. The Book of Mormon has truly blessed my life. Thank you.

Family Responsibilities

(find the lesson here)

The other day I was thinking about one of my favorite Ensign articles about motherhood. The author writes lovingly about her mother and how wonderful her mother was, and the things her mother taught her (and her 11 siblings and one cousin) about the gospel. It got me thinking – what do I want my children to write about me when they are grown and I am gone?

I decided that I would write down a description of myself from my grown children’s point of view. Maybe when they are much older and have children of their own.

Maybe some day I will post it here.

In the mean time, I will share my thoughts from this lesson from the Gospel Principles book.

The first thing that stuck out to me was “Parents should treat their children with love and respect, being firm but kind to them.” That reminded me of an article I read that was written by my institute teacher and good family friend. I feel like Heavenly Father has been trying to remind me of this great truth, because over the past four years of motherhood, I seem so have grown farther and farther away from truth. First, the article by Dr. Wally, then yesterday’s lesson on the atonement – justice and mercy – and then today’s article on family responsibilities, including balancing justice and mercy with our children. It is a hard thing to raise children – especially teaching them about the gospel, and extending mercy to them while at the same time teaching them about the demands of justice.

The next quote that I loved was one that spoke of the father’s responsibilities. “The father should spend time with each child individually. He should teach his children correct principles, talk with them about their problems and concerns, and counsel them lovingly.” In our family, each Sunday my husband takes each child into his “office” (actually a corner of our bedroom) and has a little chat with them. It is his time to bond with our children, teach them of a gospel principle, find out what is on their mind, and in general just let them know that he is there for them and that he loves them. I think it has been really good for both our children, and their father.

And of course, the most profound part of this lesson for me were the principles of motherhood, “motherhood is the noblest calling… a partnership with God in bringing His spirit children into the world.” “Every mother who has a testimony can have a profound effect on her children.”

This part really stuck out to me: “A mother needs to spend time with her children and teach them the gospel. She should play and work with them so they can discover the world around them. She also needs to help her family know how to make the home a pleasant place to be. If she is warm and loving, she helps her children feel good about themselves.” Like I said, I have been moving farther and farther from the truth as a mother in the last several years, and I am ready to start moving in the right direction again. I want to be this mother – the one that spends time with her children to teach them the gospel, the one who plays with and works with her children, the one who makes home a pleasant place to be. I want to be warm and loving. These are all things that I was a long time ago, and the past several years have kind of taken their toll on my, and instead of being more like the way I was, I have become worse and worse – and it is a horrible feeling, and I hope I can move back in the right direction again.

“A loving and happy family does not happen by accident. Each person in the family must do his or her part.” Being a mother of small children is hard. I mean hard. Horribly hard. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done – emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. As I turn to the Lord for help, it becomes more bearable – but it is still hard.

And then I read this: “we must be thoughtful, cheerful, and considerate of others.” I thought, I can do that – I can be thoughtful, cheerful, and considerate of other, no matter what other do.

I can do this. I can be a good mother. I can take care of my family and teach them the gospel, and I can be cheerful as I do it.

Do you sometimes struggle to live the way you know you should? How do you apply the principles of family in your home?

“Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done”

(find the lesson here)

“We cannot of ourselves,
no matter how we may try,
rid ourselves of the stain which is upon us
as a result of our own transgressions.”
(Marion G. Romney)

This is kind of an intimidating post to write – and part II of this lesson (the Crucifixion) will be next week. The atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is so sacred, so important, and so meaningful that I feel like I cannot do justice writing about it. I don’t even feel like I completely understand His atonement, but I am learning more about it each time I study the scriptures, study the account of His atonement, and listen to the words and testimonies of our living prophets – and of my friends and acquaintances in the gospel.

There are three important blessings that we receive because of the atonement of the savior. They are peace, forgiveness, and eternal life. Sometimes I forget that the atonement can give me all three things. I think most of us agree that the atonement can give us eternal life in the physical sense. We usually have no doubt in our minds that we will all be resurrected. It’s a pretty straightforward concept, and a blessing that we all receive unconditionally, due to the Savior’s atoning sacrifice. And I think that maybe most of us are pretty solid in our testimony that through the atonement we can be forgiven for our sins (although sometimes we have serious misconceptions about that, too – which I’ll get to later). The concept I struggle with the most is remembering that the atonement can give us peace – even, and especially, when we are suffering due to either this natural world, or the sins of others.

There were a few things that stuck out to me as I read the three accounts of the Savior’s atonement in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. In Matthew and Mark, the Savior is recorded as saying “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death.” In Luke’s gospel, he leaves that part out, but includes an account of an angel with Christ “strengthening him.” Another thing that Luke included in his account was the Christ was “wont” to visit the garden of Gethsemane. (wont = accustomed). It makes me wonder if the Savior was on the look out for the perfect place to atone for the sins of the world. Like Joseph, who prayed in the private grove of trees, I wonder if the Savior had noticed that this particular garden was relatively quiet and few people ever went there. Maybe a disciple owned the garden, and had told the Savior that if He ever needed a quiet place to go and pray, He was welcome to use His friend’s garden. The fact that the Savior was accustomed to being in Gethsemane makes the atonement seem very thoughtful. He didn’t just stop one day and take upon Himself the sins of the world. He had been thinking about it, probably since He was a child and was “about [His] father’s business.” I wonder how many times  He had prayed previously in Gethsemane, perhaps asking the Father to give Him strength, so that when the time came, He could do what was necessary to save the world. 

Image source.

The Savior Took Upon Himself The Sins of the World

I think that it is especially important to remember that the Savior voluntarily took upon himself “suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind;” (Alma 7:11). No one made Him do it. No one took the Savior’s life. And no one put the sins of the world on His shoulders. The scriptures usually say that He “took upon himself” the sins, afflictions, and infirmities of the world. He took all the suffering and put it on himself.

And it was painful. Very painful. “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18) The pain and suffering the Savior endured in the garden was so painful that even He, the Son of God asked God the Father to remove the cup from Him. But even as He said it, He knew it had to be done, and so He said “Not my will, but thine, be done.”

Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. (Doctrine and Covenants 19:19)

We Need the Atonement

As soon as Adam and Eve fell from the garden, we needed the atonement. Our bodies and this world are in a fallen state, and the only thing that can return them to their perfect state is the sacrifice of the Savior. When we sin, we move ourselves even farther from Heavenly Father, and nothing can return us except the Savior’s atonement.

My favorite talk ever is The Mediator, which was given in a Conference address many years ago by Elder Boyd K. Packer. I have included the video on this post so you can watch it. I can never get through it without bawling my eyes out – especially when Elder Packer starts talking about mercy and justice.

Mercy and justice are the two main reason we need the Savior’s atonement. Because I think that Alma says it best, I will include mostly what he says in Alma chapter 42. When Adam and Even fell from the garden, they became mortal so that “there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God.” If Adam and Eve and been allowed to stay in the Garden of Eden after they had transgressed and partaken of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they would not have been able to repent for their transgression and they would have lived forever in their sin, which means that they would not have been able to live in the presence of God. “But behold, it was appointed unto man to die—therefore, as they were cut off from the tree of life they should be cut off from the face of the earth—and man became lost forever, yea, they became fallen man. And now, ye see by this that our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will.” Because our souls do not die (not in the same sense as our bodies die – our souls never end), the fall of Adam and Eve brought a kind of death to our souls – the inability to be in the presence of our Father. When we talk about spiritual death, that is what we mean – not being in the presence of the Father – because our spirit don’t actually die.

So now we have mortal men, who are in a state of spiritual death, and who will eventually experience a physical death. If the world had been left that way, God would have lost everything – His children and His world. And there would have been no way for His children to come back to Him again.

“Therefore, according to justice, the plan of redemption could not be brought about, only on conditions of repentance of men in this probationary state, yea, this preparatory state; for except it were for these conditions, mercy could not take effect except it should destroy the work of justice. Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God. And thus we see that all mankind were fallen, and they were in the grasp of justice; yea, the justice of God, which consigned them forever to be cut off from his presence.” It is important to note that it was the justice of God which cut us off from His presence. God follows laws – He has to adhere to justice. He cannot make His own arbitrary rules about justice. And so, in order to adhere to justice and save His children, “God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also.”

And now, for my favorite verses of scripture of almost all time (this combined with Mosiah 4 would probably do it for me):

“But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.

“But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.

“For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.

“What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit.” (Alma 42:22-25)

Before you watch this video, I want you to read what Elder Packer said before he began his talk (from which this video was made). Read the words carefully, and take this video seriously.

“What I shall say I could say much better if we were alone, just the two of us. It would be easier also if we had come to know one another, and had that kind of trust which makes it possible to talk of serious, even sacred things.

“If we were that close, because of the nature of what I shall say, I would study you carefully as I spoke. If there should be the slightest disinterest or distraction, the subject would quickly be changed to more ordinary things.”

I have a testimony of the Savior’s atonement. I am amazed at how intricate and thought out and thorough the whole plan of salvation is. I am grateful for a perfect, just God who also found a way to be a merciful God. I know that the Savior took upon himself the sins and suffering of the world, and I know that through the atonement we can find peace, forgiveness, and eternal life.

Please share your thoughts and testimony about the Savior’s atonement with me.

“Finding Joy Through Loving Service”

(find the talk here)

Let me tell you a secret. The first part isn’t so much a secret – I like to run. I have been running consistently for several years now, and I really enjoy it. It gives me a chance to get out and be on my own for a little while, and when I am running outside (my very favorite place to run) I get to see the beautiful reflections of God’s love for us, evident in this wonderful world He created for us.

The secret part is that when you see me with my headphones on while I’m running, don’t assume I’m listening to some 80’s rock (my favorite running music). More often than not (unless I’m running a race) I’m probably listening to General Conference talks.

What’s interesting is that I just listened to Elder M. Russell Ballard’s talk during my recent run – and I don’t remember any of it, except the story of the gold prospector, and the part about how we need to serve others in our community to help spread the gospel throughout the world.

So I was excited to read it. And then I read it. And nothing stood out to me. Which is weird, because usually when I read the talks from General Conference I love them. Not this one. Of course, I knew it was all true, and I kind of got excited when Elder Ballard started talking about how charity begins at home. But he only spent a few sentences talking about that, and moved on. It felt like he briefly touched on many different small “nuggets” of truth, and didn’t really expound on any of them. At first, I was disappointed, because I love delving into the doctrine of the gospel, especially when my study is led by a prophet and apostle. But then as I read Elder Ballard’s testimony at the end of his talk, I realized how appropriate it was for him to touch on all these nuggets, especially in light of how he told the story of how the young man panning for gold was looking for nuggets, and was missing all the flecks of gold.

I am like that a lot. I look for the nuggets and miss the flecks. I want to know the “big things” that will make me a good person. Especially in mothering. I feel guilty because I don’t do huge activities with my kids every stinking day. Half the time I don’t even really play with them one-on-one. I feel like I’m failing them. But then when I add up all the small “flecks” of fun things I do with my children, even just acknowledging them and the things they say, and including them in my activities as I clean the house and do chores, I know those things are adding up for my kids and their lives are being filled with all the flecks of gold that I can give them.

Elder Ballard spoke directly to my perceived dilemma right from the start of his talk, “Against this beautiful backdrop of spring and its symbolism of hope, there is a world of uncertainty, complexity, and confusion. The demands of everyday life—education, jobs, raising children, Church administration and callings, worldly activities, and even the pain and sorrow of unexpected illness and tragedy—can wear us down.” (emphasis added) I have felt the “uncertainty, complexity, and confusion” of this world all too well in the past few months. Just when I think I have things figured out, something goes “wrong” and I feel my life spiraling out of control. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Elder Ballard said, “Brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, no matter how much we try to make it complicated. We should strive to keep our lives similarly simple, unencumbered by extraneous influences, focused on those things that matter most.” (emphasis added) You’d think that after President Uchtdorf’s talk last fall, we would have ‘things that matter most’ down to an art. For some reason, I keep forgetting, and I need to be reminded at every General Conference.

Like I said, Elder Ballard’s talk was a collection of gold flakes, and taken together, you can see the importance of the principle he spoke about – love and charity for one another. My favorite flake was a quote from the Book of Mormon about how to receive this gift of love and charity. “…pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love…” I don’t know any other way to receive spiritual gifts. We can’t just read a self-help book and suddenly have spiritual gifts. Really, we can’t do anything of our own power. Everything we have, and everything we are, is through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Why should being able to express love and charity be any different? We have to pray for spiritual gifts. Patience and love for my children and my husband are probably the number one topics of my prayers to Heavenly Father. Mostly because I struggle with the patience part, but also because I know where patience comes from. I don’t just work hard at it and have it. Sure, I should work at it, but unless I am blessed with that gift from Heavenly Father, all my hard work won’t be enough.

How do you receive spiritual gifts? Do you pray for the gift of charity in your daily prayers? What flakes of spiritual gold did you find in Elder Ballard’s talk?

Find more great comments on Elder Ballard’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

Establishing Eternal Families

(read the handbook here)

It has long been established that families are central to God’s plan. Even in the beginning, with Adam and Eve, they were commanded to have a family. Establishing a family should be the first priority of every faithful Latter day Saint man and woman.

The first element of that priority should be obtaining a temple marriage. You can read many recent talks by the General Authorities to understand just how important that is. The adversary is definitely working hard on this front.

I read an article recently that was published in 2005 which stated that the divorce rate was declining, but so was the marriage rate. Instead of getting married and then divorced, people are simply moving in together. Of course, people who just live together without getting married are also more likely to break up – so the “sociological” divorce rate is probably higher – since a live-in relationship that breaks up is probably almost as bad for all parties involved – including the children.

The article also stated an interesting trend that Europe has more live-in couples than the USA, but that couples with children in Europe usually live together, even if they aren’t married. So in the USA, we have single moms (or dads) who end up living with multiple “partners,” bringing their children into the mix, and then leaving when things don’t work out. And then in Europe, you have non-married biological parents of a child living together, but they stay together. It’s hard to tell which of the two are worse – children having to endure several messed up relationships, or children living with their parents who are unwed. I would say that of the two, the latter is less damaging for children. But both are perversions of the Lord’s way, which is exactly what Satan wants.

“Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred responsibility. Parents and priesthood and auxiliary leaders should do all they can to reinforce this teaching.” This is a teaching which has gone the way of the world (literally). The whole meaning of sex and relationships has been completely corrupted by Satan. His influence can be seen all over society, and nowhere more prevalent than in the realm of sexual relations. We need to protect that. I don’t mean we need to never talk to our kids about sex. The complete opposite is true – from the time they are infants we need to teach them about the purpose of their bodies, the sanctity of their bodies, the emotions that we can feel, and the proper expression of the physical feelings they will have at some point.

After obtaining a temple marriage (which should be the first priority of every faithful Latter Day Saint man and woman), the next priority should be bearing and raising children. If bearing children isn’t an option (for whatever reason) then raising children can still be done. “By divine design, both a man and a woman are essential for bringing children into mortality and providing the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.” (emphasis added) Bearing children isn’t the end of it, and it’s not even really the beginning of it. The Lord’s Church is one of adoption so it makes sense that adoption is a very important part of the Lord’s plan. Especially when it comes to those who don’t have “the best setting” for rearing and nurturing. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” To me this would also mean that children who don’t get that birth should be entitled to it by adoption. Of course, both how many children and when to have them (whether through bearing children or adopting them) is completely a personal matter between a couple and the Lord.

What principle of establishing eternal families is the most significant to you? Have you found different principles more applicable to your life over the years? How are you defending marriage and the family?

“More Than Conquerors through Him That Loved Us”

(find the talk here)

If you read our family blog, you’ll know that the past several weeks have been pretty trying for me. Which is probably why I haven’t been writing much over here (or on any of my blogs, for that matter). Writing is good for me, and somewhat therapeutic, and so when I don’t write, things have to be going really badly. But I’m back to writing again, which means things are getting better. I hesitate to say everything is good again, because I’m still not sure that is the case. It’s a lot of ups and downs right now, and I’m hoping that I can sort all this out soon, because I don’t really like ups and downs.

So this talk is actually perfect for me to read and study in my current situation.

Elder Paul V. Johnson’s talk about adversity, trials, and growth have helped clarify some things in my mind and I hope I can apply them to the trials and adversity I face daily. None of us is exempt from trials and suffering, and most of us encounter trials every day of our lives.

Recently I read an article about marriage that mentioned something that has kind of stuck with me. The author said, “The act of enduring difficult circumstances without feeling like a martyr, or without seeking reward or sympathy, can be a soul-expanding experience. It can bring new levels of character development attainable only when patience, tolerance, and a nonjudgmental attitude are practiced consistently over time.” The thing that struck me the most was when he suggested that we endure “difficult circumstances without feeling like a martyr.” Too often, when faced with trials and adversity, I find myself feeling like a martyr. Elder Johnson also addressed this, when he pointed out that “Some obedient Saints may ask, ‘Why me? I’m trying to be good! Why is the Lord allowing this to happen?’” I often feel this way – “I am trying to be a good person, I am doing my best! I am enduring trials because of the wickedness of others, and it’s not fair!” When instead I should be practicing patience, tolerance, and a nonjudgmental attitude. Elder Robbins reminded us that “If we handle these afflictions properly, they will be consecrated for our gain.” He then quoted Elder Orson F. Whitney who said, “All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable.” Notice that in both cases growth, character development, purification and soul-expanding only happen when we “handle [adversity] properly” and “patiently.” We cannot grow in our adversity and trials when we are acting like a martyr, taking one for the team, as it were. Elder Robbins also reminded us that “Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses.” Heavenly Father didn’t put us on the earth to become martyrs. He put us on the earth to grown and learn and become even as He is.

I love that Elder Robbins pointed out, “Even very rich ore needs refining to remove impurities.” The best among us have trials. Just to make sure we didn’t miss that point, Elder Robbins told a story about Elder Robert D. Hales, an apostle of the Lord, who endured difficult circumstances. “We don’t seek out tests, trials, and tribulations. Our personal journey through life will provide just the right amount for our needs. Many trials are just a natural part of our mortal existence…” Because this world is mortal and fallen, we are guaranteed to have trials and tests. But this is the reason we are here! We are experiencing this life so that we can practice patience, tolerance, and a nonjudgmental attitude in the face of adversity, so that we can become more like the Savior. It is a refiner’s fire we are in, not a trash incinerator. The Lord doesn’t intend for us to be burned to ash. He intends for the impurities to be burned away, leaving only the most precious metals behind. But if we don’t have the right attitude through our trials, we will feel like we are in a trash incinerator, instead of in a refiner’s fire.

My favorite part of the talk was this statement by Elder Robbins, “Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way… We must be careful that we don’t resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature.” Sometimes in the midst of my trials, I forget why we have trials. I want to be strong and mature and have a testimony – but I want it without the pain, suffering, and trials. Elder Robbins had a few words for me about that - “[The Savior’s] suffering was a prerequisite to the empty tomb that Easter morning and to our future immortality and eternal life.” In Doctrine & Covenants 122, even Heavenly Father reminded us of the fact that even the Savior had to endure trials on this earth, “The Son of Man hath descended below [all things]. Art thou greater than he?””

“Someday when we get to the other side of the veil, we want more than for someone just to tell us, ‘Well, you’re done.’ Instead, we want the Lord to say, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant.’”

I want to endure my trials with patience and a good attitude – I want to be more than conqueror. I want to be refined and molded so that when I return to the Father I will hear Him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Find more great comments on Elder Johnsons’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

Returning to the Father

(read the handbook here)

This section of the Church Handbook of Instruction explains the plan of salvation in pretty basic terms. Helping members follow the plan of salvation, plan of happiness, plan of redemption, or one of the other names it has, is the main purpose of Christ’s Church on earth today.

But just like knowing that we want to get from point A to point B is only helpful if we know which roads to take and where to turn, knowing that God’s plan is that we all return to live with Him again is only helpful if we know how to get back to Him.

“We believe that through the atonement of Christ all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinance of the gospel.”

That’s a start. So what are the laws and ordinances of the gospel?

“We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, repentance; third, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.”

In addition to those first principles and ordinances of the gospel, we must also, “endure to the end by keeping sacred covenants.”

“As we come to understand and believe these truths and gain a firm testimony of Jesus Christ, we strive to obey His commandments and want to share our blessings with our family and others.” As we come to understand, and have a true, pure testimony of the plan of salvation, we will want to participate in the Church organization, because the purpose of the Church organization is to teach each other how to obtain eternal life, and help each other on that path. It’s like we’re all taking a road trip to the same place, and it makes a lot more sense for us to carpool or caravan, rather than all of us just take our own course. If we carpool and caravan, we can make sure we’re staying on the right path, and if someone breaks down, we can give them a lift.

The pioneers did it when they crossed the plains, and they were able to help and succor each other when family members lost loved ones, or when wagons broke or oxen died.

Working together, and helping each other, is definitely the Lord’s way – we will be safer on our journey back to Him.

“Each of us is accountable before God to learn and keep His commandments and to live the gospel. We will be judged according to our actions, the desires of our hearts, and the kind of people we have become.”

I love this part of the gospel plan – that we are each accountable for our own actions, and the desires of our hearts. Unfortunately I often do the complete opposite of what I want to do. I am working each day to be better, but sometimes it is really hard to do what I know is right, even when I really want to do what is right. “The natural man is an enemy to God.” And to us, as His children!

“As we live the gospel of Jesus Christ, we grow line upon line, becoming more like the Savior in loving and serving others.”

It’s also good to remember that learning and growth is a process. Nothing comes lightening fast. Even Alma the younger, who saw an angel, was basically in a coma for two days and two nights. And even after than, I’m sure his process was not finished. He just had a jump start. The distance between his first line and his second line was probably a lot farther apart than most of us, but even after his great conversion, he still grew in the gospel, line upon line, and precept on precept. It’s how the General Authorities learned, and it’s how we learn.

As members of the Church, it is our responsibility to:

“1. Teach and testify of the pure doctrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

2. Strengthen individuals and families in their efforts to keep their sacred covenants.

3. Provide counsel, support, and opportunities for service.”

I love the first point – especially that they specifically state “pure doctrines” of the gospel. We are not supposed to add our speculation, our opinions, or our personal issues. We are simply to “testify of the pure doctrines.” Elder M. Russell Ballard gave a wonderful talk on pure testimony several years ago in General Conference entitled just that – “Pure Testimony”.

He said, “Our testimony meetings need to be more centered on the Savior, the doctrines of the gospel, the blessings of the Restoration, and the teachings of the scriptures. We need to replace stories, travelogues, and lectures with pure testimonies. Those who are entrusted to speak and teach in our meetings need to do so with doctrinal power that will be both heard and felt, lifting the spirits and edifying our people.”

Of course, there are times for the personal conversations, the counseling together, the visiting with friends – and these are particularly important, and stated in the last two points.

I think that part of strengthening individuals and families in their efforts to keep their sacred covenants would be encouraging our friends to spend time with their families, attend the temple, and teach their children. We have been encouraging our friends to attend the temple by offering to watch their child while they serve in the temple. Such service blesses our lives, as well as their lives – and strengthens their family, helping them to keep their temple covenants.

What ways do you accomplish the three responsibilities listed here for members in God’s kingdom on earth? Do you feel a desire to share the gospel and your testimony with others when your testimony is strong? How do you support your friends and families in keeping their covenants?

God the Father's Plan for His Eternal Family

(read the Handbook here)

It is not surprising to me that the first chapter in the Church Handbook of Instruction is about the importance of families to the work of God. It has been known (at least since the 90s) that the Church places greatest importance on families.

In Doctrine & Covenants 138:55, we read that “even before [we] were born, [we]… received [our] first lessons in the world of spirits”. The family unit existed before this earth – with God as our Father, and all of the other future inhabitants of this world as sisters and brothers. Even our children were our sisters and brothers in the pre-mortal world. We have all been commanded to serve and love each other, and help each other back to live with Heavenly Father. Before we were born, He even taught us our “first lessons” so that we would be better prepared to help each other in this world.

“The purpose of God’s plan is to lead us to eternal life.” A long time ago I had a small square of green paper in my scriptures on which I listed all the things the were equivalent to eternal life. When I would read something in the scriptures that described eternal life or likened it to something else or described how to obtain eternal life, I would write it down on my little green sheet of paper. I’m not entirely sure where that piece of paper is now, but I remember feeling so blessed to read over and over again all the things that were necessary for obtaining eternal life. That Heavenly Father would make sure it was spelled out clearly for us was a blessing for me. He loves us and wants to make His plan plain and simple for us. I have a testimony that this is why we have the Book of Mormon. The instruction in it is plain and simple.

I love how simple the plan of happiness really is. With the fall of Adam and Eve from the garden, their mortality brought with it two obstacles – death and sin. “Because we cannot overcome either obstacle by ourselves, Heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our Savior and Redeemer.” The Saviors atonement made possible the resurrection from the dead – meaning that the obstacle of physical death had been overcome. And His atonement also made it possible for men to repent and overcome sin through the Savior. We cannot be perfect alone, and we cannot return to live with Heavenly Father on our own – but we can be perfect and return to Him through the atoning sacrifice of the Savior. With all my heart and mind I know this to be true.

“As part of our Heavenly Father’s plan, we were born into families. He established families to bring us happiness, to help us learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare us for eternal life.” (emphasis added) I think that sometimes we miss this part of the purpose for families – the loving atmosphere part. Most of the time I think parents understand their responsibility to teach their children – but I believe most parents misunderstand that to mean that is their responsibility to discipline, lecture, and correct their children. Teaching has an entirely different connotation – one that is more loving, less rebuking; more gentle and understanding, and less criticizing. Maybe it would help to remember that our children are also our brothers and sisters. Our positions could easily be turned around – our children, having been born before us, could be our parents, and we their children. And let us always remember that our children will be parents some day – as the words from a Primary song go, “How will they live when they at last are grown? What will they give to children of their own?”

So if we generally learn what we need to know in our families, what is the purpose of the Church?

“The Church provides the organization and means for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of God’s children. It provides the priesthood authority to administer the ordinances of salvation and exaltation to all who are worthy and willing to accept them.”

I don’t want to say “that’s it” because these things are vital to our eternal progression – but at the same time, that’s it! That’s all the Church is for – it provides the organization and means for teaching the gospel – but we as members of the kingdom, as parents, teachers, brothers and sister – we are the hands. We do the work. The Church is just an organization, which, without the members, would be completely ineffective.

And so, it is important for us to learn about the organization of the Church, and more importantly, to learn about our duties as members of the Lord’s kingdom so that we can be effective members of this great work the Father has for us.

For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)

What role do you see for the family in God’s work? How have families and the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ worked in your life to bring you closer to Heavenly Father? Do you think the organization of the Church helps families accomplish the duties and commandments that God has given us?

Waiting on the Road to Damascus

(find the talk here)

I always love listening to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf speak. I don’t know if it is his German accent which reminds me of my days living in the German house and associating with native German speakers, or if it is his mastery of the English language, or his aviation stories, or his amazing testimony – probably a combination of all of the above.

With my love of listening to President Uchtdorf, you would think that I had heard this talk at General Conference in April. Well, I don’t really remember it. I remember maybe hearing part of it (the part about texting to people that he hadn’t given an aviation analogy in his talk) but other than that I was probably trying to keep the kids from fighting, or drawing on the walls, or spilling their snacks everywhere.

So I am very grateful to Steph at Diapers and Divinity for posting this talk for the General Conference Book Club this week. And I can’t wait to listen to this talk on my run (playlist of choice for my runs? General Conference – of course!)

President Uchtdorf talked about how some of us wait on the road to Damascus for a vision like Paul received, or like Joseph Smith received in the sacred grove. Instead of actively seeking the Lord, we wait for Him to come to us.

I don’t want to be waiting. I don’t want to wait for something spectacular to build my testimony – I want to be actively seeking the Lord.

I am reminded of the Primary song

“I’ll seek the Lord early while in my youth
and He will help me to know the truth.
I’ll search the scriptures and find Him there,
then go to our Father in fervent prayer.

I’ll seek the Lord early and I’ll obey
His living prophets in all they say
I’ll keep His commandments; His love will abound
I will seek the Lord early and He will be found.”
                                                  (here)

President Uchtdorf testified, “The truth is, those who diligently seek to learn of Christ eventually will come to know Him.” I am continually impressed with all of the doctrines that are taught in the Primary songs. And I first learned this Primary song when I was very very young – but the words have stuck with me.

I am glad that I was taught to seek the Lord in my youth, but I think that as I have grown, both in age, and in the gospel, I have not been seeking the Lord as diligently as I once was. I go through periods in my life when I am actively seeking the Lord, and then I have other periods in my life where I wait on the road to Damascus. And then I hear a talk like President Uchtdorf’s, and it kicks me in to action, so to speak.

I loved the following analogy by President Uchtdorf, especially because I was blessed to attend the Carl Bloch exhibit at Brigham Young University’s Museum of Art last month with my husband.

“[T]hose who diligently seek to learn of Christ … will personally receive a divine portrait of the Master, although it most often comes in the form of a puzzle—one piece at a time. Each individual piece may not be easily recognizable by itself; it may not be clear how it relates to the whole. Each piece helps us to see the big picture a little more clearly. Eventually, after enough pieces have been put together, we recognize the grand beauty of it all. Then, looking back on our experience, we see that the Savior had indeed come to be with us—not all at once but quietly, gently, almost unnoticed.”

Definitely my testimony of the Savior has come to me this way – quietly, gently, almost unnoticed. In fact, sometimes I forget that I even have a testimony of the Savior because it was built so quietly and so gently, and came in such small pieces. And, like a puzzle, sometimes some of the pieces get knocked off the table, or swept under the couch, and my portrait of the Savior has a few holes that I just can’t seem to fill in.

President Uchtdorf mentioned a few things we can do to move forward with faith and seek the Lord diligently. He mentioned that we should hearken and heed, serve, and share.

Among these, the hearken and heed is probably the hardest for me. I feel like I am not very good at understanding or hearing the promptings of the Spirit, and because of that, I don’t feel like I do a very good job heeding those promptings. I want to receive promptings from the Spirit, but sometimes I doubt that I will be able to recognize them, let alone follow the direction I might receive.

Perhaps I would be wise to follow the counsel of President Uchtdorf – “To better hear His voice, it would be wise to turn down the volume control of the worldly noise in our lives.” Anyone with one preschooler, let alone multiple preschoolers, will know that turning down the volume is hard, if not impossible. Of course, President Uchtdorf means more than just physical noise. He is also talking about all of the worldly distractions – books, TV shows, blogs, music, activities, even sometimes our thoughts can be distractions. One of the ways I get around this is by spending some quiet time by myself each morning studying the gospel, praying, and writing down my thoughts. I should incorporate more quiet time throughout the day, though. Too often I have my scripture study at the beginning and end of my day, but rarely do I take a few minutes to check in with Heavenly Father during the day. Mostly that only happens on the most trying days with my children when I am about to lose my temper and I give myself a little “count-to-ten” time out. Most of the time, while I am counting to ten, I am also praying for guidance and patience as a mother. I don’t always feel a strong impression about what to do, but the few moments of prayer always bring a better sense of calm to my spirit, and I am able to think a little more clearly. But I should try to have those quiet moments more than just at the craziest times of my day. I should frequently stop and check in. Perhaps that will help me turn down the volume on the worldly noise, and help me feel those promptings more frequently.

When President Uchtdorf spoke about serving, he quoted President Spencer W. Kimball who said, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.” I love this, because I believe strongly that we are frequently the answers to each others prayers. I have had friends, family members and others be the answer to my prayers, and I have been in the position to be the answer to the prayers of those around me. There is nothing more touching than being the answer to someone’s prayers. We must serve each other and get to know each other and notice when people need helps because “It is usually through another person that [God] meets our needs.”

I loved when President Uchtdorf talked about how his family shared the gospel. He said that when their friends and coworkers would ask about how their weekend was, they would skip the usual details like events, activities, and the weather, and share some spiritual experience instead. They would talk about what a speaker shared in sacrament meeting, or a gospel principle that helped them with a challenge. I love that he added “We tried not to be preachy or overbearing.” I struggle with that a lot. I love to share my testimony and talk about the gospel and its application in my life, but I feel that often I come across as preachy and overbearing. This is another of my goals – to sound less preachy and overbearing.

In his closing remarks, President Uchtdorf quotes one of my favorite scriptures, “Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” I want to believe. I want to seek the Lord, so that I can see Him piece by piece in my life. It won’t come all at once, I know, but if I can remember the words of the Primary song, “I’ll keep His commandments, His love will abound, I will seek the Lord early and He will be found” – I know that I will find him.

Do you seek the Lord? How do you recognize the promptings that you receive? Have you had a prayer answered by the service of others? Have you been the answer to someone’s prayer by your actions? Do you share the gospel with those around you? How do you try not to be preachy and overbearing? Have you found the Lord?

Find more great comments on President Uchtdorf’s talk over at the General Conference Book Club on Diapers and Divinity:

New Testament Lesson 17: “What Shall I do?”

The Young Rich Ruler and the Widow’s Mite

A young rich man came to Christ asking what he should do to obtain eternal life.

At first, Christ told the young man to keep the commandments. After the young man professed his obedience to the commandments, Christ told the young man that he needed to sell everything he had, give it to the poor, and follow Christ. They young man was unwilling to do this because “he had great possessions.” The Lord probably instructed this young man to give up his riches because He knew that the young man had set his heart on his riches – that the young man loved his riches more than he loved the Lord.

For us, perhaps it is not a love of worldly possessions that is keeping us from eternal life. Perhaps it is a love of TV shows, a love of good food, or a love of social media. These things in an of themselves are not particularly negative, but when we are unwilling to give them up (“I can’t go to my Relief Society meeting – I have to watch    (insert TV show)  “ or “I can’t fast today, my friend/family/neighbor is cooking the best Barbeque today!” or “I have to check my Facebook/Twitter/blogs on my smartphone during sacrament meeting – I’ll miss something important if I put it away!”, I’m sure you can think of some other examples) When we are willing to “give away all our sins to know [Him]” we are also willing to give away all worldly things to know Him, and only then will we qualify for eternal life.

In Mark 10, Christ mentions that it is hard for people “who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God.” It wasn’t that this young man had riches. It was that the young man loved his riches more than He loved God.

After this experience with the young rich ruler, Christ witnessed the widow who cast in her two mites at the temple.

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called  his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all  did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, all her living. (Mark 12:41-44)

The poor widow was willing to give all she had to the kingdom of God. This is a stark contrast to the rich young ruler who loved his possessions more than God. The widow was willing to possibly not eat for days by giving all she had in an offering.

We shouldn’t look at the examples of the young ruler and the poor widow and think that Christ wants us to be poor and needy. In fact, in the Book of Mormon, Jacob even says that “after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them”. Of course, Jacob also adds a qualifier to that obtaining and seeking of riches by saying, “ye will seek them for the intent to do good”. Christ simply wants us to be willing to live the law of consecration. I enjoyed President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from General Conference about the Church Welfare program, which I will hopefully write about soon. I think that it really goes well with this topic.

President Joseph F. Smith taught, “God is not a respecter of persons. The rich man may enter into the kingdom of heaven as freely as the poor, if he will bring his heart and affections into subjection to the law of God and to the principle of truth; if he will place his affections upon God, his heart upon the truth, and his soul upon the accomplishment of God’s purposes, and not fix his affections and his hopes upon the things of the world”.

How often to we give all we have, or even part of what we have, to the building up of the kingdom? Are we more like the rich young ruler, or more like the widow? Do we have our heart set upon riches of this world? Or, having obtained a hope in Christ, do we seek riches with the intent to do good?

The Parable of the Rich Fool

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

The thing I found most interesting about this parable was when the rich fool said to himself, “I have no room where to bestow my fruits… [Therefore] I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.” This reminds me of the mentality of those who get a new, better paying job and think that what they should do with their money is go out and get a better, more expensive car, house, stereo system, etc. There is no need for such things, but they think that more money means they should have more stuff. This parable, and the scripture about seeking riches with the intent to do good, makes me think of our family’s goals. We want to adopt and foster as many children as we can. We used to joke that we want to have a hundred children, but as we’ve become aware of the situation in the world around us (the number of children without parents) we are actually serious about it. We want to have a hundred children. Granted, having a hundred children means that we will need to be able to provide for those hundred children, so this means we seek riches. But we have obtained a hope in Christ (it is this hope in Christ that leads us to desire to be parents to a hundred children) so the Lord, I believe, will bless us in those efforts. He has so far, and I know that He will continue to bless us in our righteous desires.

Do you seek riches for the intent to do good? What do you plan on doing with your riches as you receive them? Do you intend to “pull down” your current house, cars, possessions to “build greater”? Or are you going to give away that excess, taking care of those who need your help? Are you going to consecrate your worldly possession and materials to the Lord? Or are you going to set your heart upon them?

The Parable of the Great Supper

16 Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: 17 And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. 18 And they all with one  began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. 19 And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused. 20 And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. 21 So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. 23 And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel to come in, that my house may be filled. (Luke 14:16-23)

This parable is really interesting to me, too, because I know that I have made excuses to get myself out of doing something I didn’t really want to do. But I hope none of those things were as important as being a follower of Christ. Christ teaches us over and over again that we must forsake everything to obtain eternal life. Not just money and wealth – we have to forsake our land, our animals, our spouses, even! The Lord goes on to say “If any  come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.” Now, I think that we can be smart enough to understand the Christ does not mean that we need to hate our family. In fact, those may or may not have been the exact words He used. In Matthew, the wording is, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Either way – the point here is that we need to love Christ more than anything else in our lives, and that we need to be willing to give up everything – relationships, possessions, activities, habits, sins – to know Christ.

Do you make excuses for neglecting your devotion to the Lord? Do you make excuses for not studying the scriptures, not attending the temple, not accepting callings, not going to church…?

The Parable of the Unjust Steward

I won’t quote this parable, because it is a little awkward for me, and will probably be better read on your own. You can find it here.

The point of this parable is to show us that we should seek for spiritual wealth with as much determination and craftiness as the servant sought after material wealth.

We often spend a lot of time in the pursuit of material wealth. For example, job interviews (and preparing for said interviews), doing a “good job” at work, selling stuff, working extra jobs, etc. Maybe we don’t spend quite as much time on interviews with our Heavenly Father, or with our Priesthood leaders – and preparing for said interviews. Do we sometimes spend more time on our resume for work than we spend on our “spiritual resume”?

How much time, thought, and energy do you spend in the pursuit of material wealth? Is it more time, thought, and energy than you spend on the pursuit of spiritual wealth? What things do you do to pursue spiritual wealth?

GCBC and other plans

I think I will be joining Stephanie (of Diapers & Divinity) in her General Conference Book Club (GCBC).

I studied almost all of the talks from October 2010 General Conference, and I am looking forward to studying the talks from April Conference, but I haven’t actually started yet. I have been a little preoccupied with some other topics, and I have switched a little of my personal plans lately (with the exception of today – but I had to buy plane tickets, and then I got distracted…)

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have decided that I will study my paper scriptures (gasp!) and write in my paper, metal spiral bound scripture journal. It’s really just a little green notebook that fits in my scripture case, but I use it to write basically what I write on this blog. Maybe I’ll start transcribing the entries in that little book onto this blog so when I print out the blog those posts will also be here.

Since I will be studying my paper scriptures on Tuesday and Thursday, I figured that would be a perfect start to a computerless day. I know, impossible, right? Well, I did it last Thursday (failed miserably today – but, I like I said, I had to get on to buy plan tickets, and then… it just sucked me in!)

Since on Sundays I post our Companionship Study, that gives me four other days of the week on which to study. Since I talked about studying the Church Handbook of Instructions, that will take up one day, then General Conference Book Club will be another day. My new schedule will look something like this:

Sunday: Companionship Study
Monday: General Conference Book Club (get me ready for FHE!)
Tuesday: paper scriptures
Wednesday: Church Handbook of Instructions
Thursday: paper scriptures
Friday: Gospel Doctrine Lesson for Sunday
Saturday: Relief Society Lesson for Sunday

For Friday and Saturday, I’ll probably just have to follow my own schedule, because I don’t go to Sunday School or Relief Society due to my Primary calling.

I’m excited to do the GCBC, and I think I may even follow Jocelyn’s example over at We Talk of Christ and start a book club in our ward!

The Sacred Mother

Recently I was chatting with a neighbor who dropped by to introduce herself. She is a young mother, like me, and had an adorable 15-month old baby girl. Our children played for a while, during which time my new friend and I got acquainted. As my new friend and her daughter got ready to leave, I mentioned to my new friend that I would really like to get to know more of the moms in the ward. She mentioned to me that she had been trying to get a play group together with the other moms, but she had realized that most of the moms with similar aged children were all working mothers. We both exchanged comments about how odd that seemed to us, since we live in a neighborhood of mostly established families – not families with husbands going to school or unemployed, but regular, mostly-well-employed, regular size families. In fact, my new friend had mentioned that her husband was currently in school, and yet she stayed home.

Later I mentioned this fact to my husband – that so many LDS mothers in our ward were working mothers. Most of whom work full time. My husband said something that hit me in the gut – “You and your friend are a rare find these days.” Really? In a neighborhood where our ward is less than a square mile, we are one of probably a hand full of stay-at-home moms?

I understand that there are good reasons for mothers joining the workforce, but I have a hard time believing that every one of these mothers has a good reason.

I have been reading the book American Grace (which I highly recommend) and was appalled to see that during the 1980s, religious women (read the book to find this specific definition of “religious” – but I think the definition is fitting) moved into the workplace at the same rate as secular women. At the turn of the century, religious women were working mothers at a higher rate than secular women had been working mothers at the beginning of the 1980s. This shocked me. I thought for sure as religious women, we would be more likely to hold staunchly to our beliefs that the mother is vital in the home. The most depressing statistic I found was how fast the idea became “old” (even among religious women) that mothers in the workplace had no negative effect on children. What a horrible untruth! As I said earlier, I know that there are good reasons for mothers to need to be in the work place, however I do not think, even under the best of circumstances and the most righteous of decisions, children are not affected negatively by their mothers being in the workplace. It is always ideal for mothers to be home with their children. In my opinion, the times when it is the least bad for the children is when the mothers readily and heart-breakingly admit that it would be better for their children if they were able to stay home with the children. When mothers start feeding themselves lies about their responsibility and sacred calling as mothers, they become disillusioned and are less likely to make (if able) the sacrifices necessary to stay at home with their children.

In one of the articles I have been reading, the author tells a story of a woman who was a working mother, and when working mothers were attacked in conversation, “she spoke up defensively, citing her need for intellectual stimulation, association with other educated adults, and the daily reassurance and satisfaction of a job well done.” This is exactly what I was talking about – none of these reasons are even close to good ones why a mother should be working outside the home – especially not full time. This mother goes on to talk about how she eventually realized the importance of her staying at home with her children, and stayed at home with her children.

My husband and I have discussed this at length, and I have constantly gone back and forth and back and forth between working and staying at home. I am gaining a testimony of the importance of my constant presence at home with my children. We have decided that unless we are unable to provide basic necessities for our family (very  basic – for example, bread, milk, fruits and vegetables – not steaks and hamburgers and dinners out and fancy meals) I will stay at home with the children. I will probably continue to tutor math occasionally, and I teach a few piano lessons in my home, but neither of these endeavors takes me away from my children – the math tutoring I do in the evenings after they are asleep, and the piano teaching I do in a group lesson which involves my children anyway. We will drastically cut our lifestyle before we send mother (me) back to work. Unfortunately, in society today – even among faithful Latter Day Saints – people are not willing to give up lifestyle choices simply to preserve the most sacred duty of their mother. If we are to raise up a family to the Lord, we know that we must do everything in our power to keep me at home, in the home.

Which brings me to my final point – that mothers who are in the home should learn to enjoy the sanctity of their job – and should learn to feel as if they have “intellectual stimulation, association with other educated adults, and the daily reassurance and satisfaction of a job well done.” If we as mothers are educated, and spend time with other mothers, we will be able to associate with other educated adults. Even if they are not formally educated, most mothers have the education of life. Mothers who read are even more educated, and most mothers I have met are avid readers. Caring for my children is the most intellectually stimulating (and emotionally exhausting) job I have ever done. I am constantly on my toes, constantly analyzing situations and circumstances to create a loving, spiritual atmosphere in our home. And trust me, I use every ounce of my college degree (in Math!) to be a mother.

It is interesting that most of the talks I read this weekend about motherhood were from the 1980s. Motherhood was under such attack back then, but really nothing has changed much. Motherhood is still under attack, and now it is under attack even among the ranks of otherwise faithful Latter Day Saints.

The most uplifting talk for me to read was this talk about spending quality and quantity time with your children. Perhaps one of my favorite quotes from this talk is this:

“These are quantity-time lessons that nobody can teach a child as well as a full-time mother. Seeing his mother do these things is much more significant to him than seeing a babysitter do exactly the same things.”

This article has helped me realize that just by being home with my children I am being a better mother than if I had chosen to be in the work place. I have been making myself crazy in the past few years because I feel pressure for every waking moment with my children to be “quality” time with them – but how blessed am I! Because I have so much quantity time with my children, really I do not need to spend every waking moment in quality time. There can (and should) be moments of quality time with each child each day, but I do not need to feel guilty for washing the dishes and doing the chores when my children are awake because they are learning from watching me (and at times helping me with these various household activities).

“As I am going about routine activities, my preschoolers, little as they are, are learning that a neat house does not appear by waving a wand. They are learning that playthings have a place where they belong and that among mommy’s priorities are things like cushions on the couch and not on the floor, and dirty clothes put in the laundry basket and not dumped where they were taken off. Apparently these are not easy lessons to learn, judging by the daily necessity to teach them all over again. But I am convinced that the baby trotting after me as I vacuum is gradually developing a preference for cleanliness.…

Quantity time is really the child’s glimpse into the life of his parent as a person, the person who existed before the child himself was born, and who will continue to grow and develop after the child has moved into independence.”

I really recommend this article as a good read to any mother, especially mothers who stay home with their children.

I have a testimony that it is more important for children to be raised at home with their mother than it is for them to have anything else other than maybe food, shelter, and clothing – but only the MOST basic of these things. If your family can fit in a $150,000 home, then mother needing to work to pay for a $300,000 mortgage is not the “necessities” of life. Mother needing to work to pay for rent or mortgage in a home barely big enough to house the family, that is a necessity. If your family can eat beans and rice and other cheap foods, then mother needing to work so that the family can go out to eat is not the necessities of life. I urge anyone who is thinking about sending mother to work look first at where they can cut expenses, where they can cut back, where they can move, what they can sell, etc before they make such a serious decision. I urge those mothers who do work to do the same – look at your budget, curb your spending, cut as many costs as possible. Get rid of cable television, stop eating out, stop buying new expensive clothes. Bring mother home. It is sickening to think that people would trade mother at home for anything other than the very basic necessities of life.

There is no other job as vital to life and spiritual survival than that of being at home.

What have you studied to help you make this decision? Have there been times in your life where you had to work in order for there to be a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your bellies? Have you worked when you didn’t really need to? Do you trade mother at home for the “comforts” of life? Or do you value to the sanctity of mother and sacrifice some worldly comforts for the immense blessing of having mother in the home?

Talks I studied:
Working Double Time: The Working Mother’s Dilemma by Jan Underwood Pinborough
A View of the Eighties: What It Means to Be a Latter-day Saint Woman Today by Mary Alice Campbell
Mom – At Home by Derin Head Rodriguez
Giving Children Quantity and Quality Time by Beppie Harrison
Mothers Who Know by Julie B. Beck
To the Mothers in Zion by President Ezra Taft Benson

Study Together

My husband and I like to study gospel topics together, but we’re not always good at it, and we don’t always study the same material at the same time, so our discussions don’t always have the breadth and depth they could have. So we have come up with a new system. For our date nights, we already have a good system in place – we rotate weeks for the date planning. One week, he picks the date, finds a sitter, and makes all the plans, and the next week it’s my turn. So we decided that we’d do the same thing for our gospel study together, and the person not planning the date would pick the topic for gospel study.

We don’t have a lot of time during the week to study together, since my husband leaves for work early and by the evening we’re just about able to have family scriptures and family prayer and then hit the sack, so we have decided that Sunday afternoons when the kids are napping would be the ideal time for us to have a really in depth gospel discussion. During the week, we study individually (I have more time during the morning and afternoon to study, and my husband has more time in the evenings). We email our finds (articles, talks, scripture references) to each other so that individually we can be studying the same things. Then when we get together on Sunday, we can have an intelligent discussion about the things we have studied.

This week is the first week we’ll actually do it, and since this Sunday is Easter Sunday we decided to pick the topic of Easter.

How do you study with your spouse? Do you do some kind of companionship study? Do you both have the same amount of time to study?