Friday, November 30, 2012

A Heavy Load

I met with the bishop last night. I will be back in a few weeks, and we set up a regular visit every few weeks to help me figure out how to be happy. I’m really grateful for such an amazing bishop. mormonadunloadHe’s a really good friend of ours as well, and I am confident that between his help and my efforts, if I can muster some motivation, I will be able to heal and work through all that is going on. Bishop said I am suffering from battle fatigue. I think that is a great way to put it.

This week I am going to work at being more motivated. More motivated to pray, study the gospel, take care of myself and the house and the kids.

I’m taking it a step at a time, and if all I can manage one day is feeling motivated enough to do the laundry and play with the kids, well, that’s better than vegging in front of the TV, right?

I prayed earnestly for the first time in a while last night.

It felt good.

I think I’m going to be okay.

Tiffany at an ensign, waving posted this video on her blog today for her 5 things for Friday post. She’s a wise woman. After listening to the acoustic version a few times on my phone I realized that I needed to own this song. This might be my theme song for the next several months. Or maybe just for the rest of my life.

If you had some heartache that made you cry a thousand tears
Then let me tell you now I know just how you feel
And that heavy weight of sorrow that you've carried for so long
Will soon be gone

'Cause I believe that there is something more than I can see
I believe that there is someone holding onto me
Sometimes I won't feel it, but that don't change a thing
'Cause it's by faith that I believe

Thanks, Tiffany – I needed that today.


  1. My heart is singing for you today! My prayers continue - so happy that there are people very close to lift up your hands as they hang down and to strengthen your feeble knees. The day will come when you will use this to do for others. Love you!

  2. Aw, Becca, I'm so glad it helped. The song went straight to my heart, and then it made me think of you. Hopefully that was a good thing, and not creepy. ;) When I have gone through rough patches I find myself saying "I CHOOSE FAITH!" over and over like a mantra. Sometimes it's hard to find footing in the dark places when they come. I know I don't know all the details of all that's weighing on you, but please know you've been in my prayers, my friend. ♥

    1. Thank you so much Tiffany (and everyone else). Ha ha definitely not creepy :D I like your mantra. I just might take it up myself.

  3. I'm so glad that you posted that song and that it is helping you get through your trial. Music really helps me as well. Awesome that your Bishop was able to help and that he is there to continue to be a support system. Our Bishop is a nice guy but I went to him a while back for help over a situation that possibly involved suicide and he didn't say much, just whoe that's a lot to deal was weird and the gun is still under the persons pillow. Another discussion for another time. In fact I don't even know why I shared that. Tiffany's post above is amazing, "Choose Faith"! I've been praying for you Becca and I will continue to do so, brighter days ahead! Thanks for sharing this...

  4. Yea Becca!! I am glad you had enough faith to seek assistance with your Bishop and enough faith to follow his counsel. The day we believe we will recover/learn/grow is truly a day to celebrate. Sometimes I think hope is half the battle--prayer and endurance the other half ;-)


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