What Lack I Yet?

I have always identified with the young man who asked the Savior "What lack I yet?"

"And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth." (Mark 10:20)

Perhaps I have kept all of the "big" commandments, but we all have small things that we can change. My problems it not being unaware of my failings, but rather being hyper aware of all the things I can change or do differently. My struggle has always been figuring out what to prioritize.

As I re-read Elder Larry R. Lawrence's talk from 2015 General Conference I realized that I can ask Heavenly Father to guide me.

I am a planner, and I like having the next several minutes, hours, days, and months planned out. I am flexible and willing to make changes, but I like to have a "plan" as a starting place. Unfortunately, I think this tendency has hampered my ability to listen to and follow the spirit in quiet moments. I am so sure of my course that I have been relying on my own will, instead of listening to God's will.

As I sit here trying to make the commitment to seek and follow God's will in the small things, I am confronted with a few doubts:

1.) What if God wants me to figure things out on my own and He doesn't answer my pleas for "What should I do?"

2.) What if I am not worthy of receiving God's will and inspiration?

When I ponder these challenges I realize that these are the doubts I have been facing for years, if not decades. I don't know how to overcome these doubts just yet, but I will focus on overcoming them this week.

What doubts do you face when trying to make a new commitment? Do you sometimes feel unworthy to receive revelation? Do you struggle to know if God wants to you figure things out on your own or if He wants to give you direct revelation?

What Matters Most

I am trying to figure out what matters most. In a large family with so much going on, even a "simple" life can seem very complex. I am trying to simplify, but not miss the mark. This era of raising children is a season, and I am trying not to overly complicate it.

Balance. I have trouble with balance.

In an effort to receive more personal guidance on the idea of balance, I am trying to focus on what matters most. I don't know how to best use my talents in the world, or even for my family, but I do know that what matters most is learning and teaching the gospel. So I will refocus my priorities to learn and teach the gospel.

Goal #1: Learn the gospel.

Goal #2: Teach the gospel to my children.

Goal #3: Receive inspiration to direct any other effort in my life, including #1 and #2.

I am coming back to blogging in an effort to achieve Goal #1. I studied the gospel much more fervently when I was writing about it. So today I will start writing about it. I will follow the Come Follow Me curriculum, and as I study I will be asking Heavenly Father to guide me in achieving Goal #2 with my children and not overly complicated things. I need to avoid distractions in my life, even ones that seem good.

How do you achieve balance in raising a family? How do you focus on what matters most?