I haven't been taking time to ponder and meditate lately. I think I am a little afraid of the spirit lately. It's almost as if I don't want to receive instruction and revelation, because I don't want to follow it. I make up all sorts of excuses. I'm too busy, I have three children who take up my time, I'm too tired, etc. But the real reason is that it is hard. Living the gospel is hard. And sometimes it can be very lonely.
I don't like being lonely.
But then, Christ was lonely. I am sure He felt alone a lot.
This weekend is Easter weekend. The great atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection are remembered this weekend in homes and hearts around the world. I wish that I remembered those sacred events more often.
This dipping my toes feels really good.
Maybe I am back?
I am definitely back to pondering. I will do this more often. Much more often.
I really enjoy reading through your archives. But blogging can be intimidating. Don't scare yourself, but don't get sucked into the craziness of the blog world either. Personally, I would like to hear more stories about your 5 year old if you have time. he sounds like a sweet little boy and my son is around his age so any tips/ideas you have for keeping myself sane and the child alive would be helpful ;)
ReplyDeleteHi! Love to see a post from you again! Glad you are taking time to enjoy life with 3 (or even to just get through it - there are those days too...LOL). I wanted to share a thought about the Spirit. I have found that the more children I have and the less of me there is to go around the more I am blessed when I do make time for pondering and reading scriptures and praying. I understand busy (baby #8 is due this summer, oldest is 11, and the youngest is 1 with major medical needs). I also have felt some days where I didn't want to ponder and feel the spirit because I was afraid I would get promptings to do yet another thing and I felt like there was nothing left of me to give. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteBecca!!! Congratulations! I have missed you :-) *sigh* I am excited for you new bundle of joy and hope you are enjoying every moment!! (Well, I'm sure there will be some you will not enjoy, but the newborn period is so short!)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I too have been struggling to really delve into the spiritual stuff. I have pondering time and do it. My scripture study has been hit and miss as of late and my prayers could use work too. For me the difficulty is the sheer exhaustion of new motherhood. (And my little one is 20 months old! But still not sleeping through the night, still in my bed, still....you know, he's a hard one.) I do best when I have a consistent schedule, which with little ones, is near to impossible. So a blessing I received blessed me to read my scriptures when I could make time. I find that if I have them all over (scriptures) I can usually sneak in a verse or two, once in a while a chapter. Pondering happens all the time (laying in bed trying to get the toddler to go to sleep, waiting to pick up a child from an activity, or just driving to the grocery store, etc..)
The Spirit has still been able to touch me and I have received information, just not as regularly as when I am diligent in time and effort. Anyway, just keep going...here a little and there a little, drop by drop, as you Build your Eternity :-)!
Enjoy Easter weekend and your newest little one! (Hugs from me too!)
Isn't it crazy that pondering actually connects us in a unity with the divine that dispels our loneliness, but Satan has his ways of convincing us that the opposite will happen in every situation in which he's involved. I wish you good pondering, good connection, unity with the divine, and a part in the fellowship of the believers!
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